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Old 06-29-2009, 07:01 PM   #181
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I would like to try some normal for once. I have had enough of abnormal. I really don't know if I would recognize normal though, after all, I'm the one who thought being manic on Cymbalta was normal. I really thought, this must be what other people feel like. So I am wondering if I will even recognize it when it occurs...
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:11 PM   #182
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:14 PM   #183
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I knew I was OK when the cats stopped hiding from me.
I'll have to watch for that!
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:27 AM   #184
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i.feel.so.awful.today.

i'm on my second day of titrating up to 75mgs. i hope it evens out. the day before i started to feel great on 50mgs i woke up feeling like this. not nearly the lowest i've ever felt and not mixed (thank gawd) but i'm exhausted and know getting through today's gonna be a challenge.

i have dinner plans with a cute boy tonight too and i don't feel up for it. i'm sooo exhausted. booo.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:38 AM   #185
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That's crappy DJ. How long does it usually last? If you felt good on 50, why do they want you to move up to 75? Hope you feel better soon!
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:55 AM   #186
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The theurpauetic dose with Lamictal for BP II is somewhere around 100-150 mgs I think for most people. You have to go reeeeally slow working your way up on the dosage because there's a risk for developing this rash of some sort if you go too fast. I think the way it works has to do with stability as you go higher. I felt good at 50 but apparently once I hit 100 and adjust to it I'll be rockin'. I can't wait to adjust to the 75. If that day when 50 started to work is any indicator I can't wait to feel like that again.
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Old 06-30-2009, 03:57 PM   #187
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Do you all avoid caffiene? I keep seeing it here and there for people with depression/anxiety/bipolar to avoid it, but I swear it is what gets me through sometimes. That and sugar. I know you all probably avoid that for sure, but I swear I say I am getting off of it and it calls my name! I am having miserable mood swings with Lexapro. I can feel so darn well for hours and then all of a sudden I am down in the dumps, and I mean way down...It's hard for me to think about giving up the caffiene when I feel this bad becuase then I take it to try and get a little bit of a lift.

Feeling any better DJ?
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:14 PM   #188
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Faithgirl I'm the same way -- when I was really, really low I lived off energy drinks. And before I realized I had a problem back in 2002 or so I popped ephedra all day. I could noticeably see a difference in my mood and energy. When ephedra was off the market I moved on to coffee and caffiene pills (usually diuertetics).

While it works I think the reasoning behind avoiding it is the crash that comes later. I really can't say I've tested it or noticed a difference but apparently the caffeiene consumption just sets you up for a lower low.

I'm feeeling a weee bit better, thx. i hope tomorrow is better. I had a dream this morning that seriously just affected my mood. Boo. It was a good dream though...I hate those sometimes. It reminded me of missing the times when I LOVED my job and looked forward to going in every day. I know I need a change of some sort here, but I'm not making it till I'm stable.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:19 PM   #189
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Do you avoid caffeine on purpose now?

I know what you mean about not making decisions uintil you are stable. I have always made really bad decisions when depressed. I get frustrated and have quit jobs. Truthfully, I had planned on doing that with my current job. That would be disastrous and I am going to do my best not to make any decisions until I can become more stable.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:23 PM   #190
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I drink coffee.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:24 PM   #191
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I drink coffee.
You don't feel it has a negative effect? I just keep seeing this, not to have the caffeine, but i know giving it up would be really hard for me. Of course I'm so unstable right now, I doubt I could, and it probably is having an effect on me.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:30 PM   #192
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Never had any problem from it, that I have noticed. I don't drink a ton of it. Maybe 2 cups a day.
Most of what I have seen is to avoid large amounts of caffeine in coffee and soda as well as energy drinks or stimulants because it exacerbates the symptoms of mania and the 'crash' can exacerbate symptoms of depression.
IMO and the way it has worked for me is that moderation is the key.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:32 PM   #193
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Never had any problem from it, that I have noticed. I don't drink a ton of it. Maybe 2 cups a day.
Most of what I have seen is to avoid large amounts of caffeine in coffee and soda as well as energy drinks or stimulants because it exacerbates the symptoms of mania and the 'crash' can exacerbate symptoms of depression.
IMO and the way it has worked for me is that moderation is the key.
Uh huh. We all know your history with the pink hearts in high school now, Speedy.

I drink coffee too. I don't notice a difference crash-wise. I find the smell soothing, too. I only have about a cup a day though but I AM guilty of sipping on a huge Diet Coke on most days.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:32 PM   #194
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That makes sense. I probably don't drink all that much at this point, but I have noticed when my mood is dropping here lately, I do go for the caffiene.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:33 PM   #195
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Uh huh. We all know your history with the pink hearts in high school now, Speedy.

I drink coffee too. I don't notice a difference crash-wise. I find the smell soothing, too. I only have about a cup a day though but I AM guilty of sipping on a huge Diet Coke on most days.
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Old 06-30-2009, 04:40 PM   #196
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Uh huh. We all know your history with the pink hearts in high school now, Speedy.

I drink coffee too. I don't notice a difference crash-wise. I find the smell soothing, too. I only have about a cup a day though but I AM guilty of sipping on a huge Diet Coke on most days.


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Old 06-30-2009, 06:41 PM   #197
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I don't avoid caffeine. My idea of a good day probably involves a gallon of diet pop. I'm not exaggerating.

When I'm running depressed, I REALLY lean on it.

Today, I was running depressed. I think I whacked it OK by upping my lithium but I'm pretty beat now.

I know I'm at a good dose when I'm dropping things.
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Old 06-30-2009, 06:45 PM   #198
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I guess I won't worry about it for now. I need all the help I can get, and if it takes some caffeine to get me through, then so be it.
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Old 06-30-2009, 06:45 PM   #199
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Seriously, sometimes I think the 'avoid-caffeine' thing is one of those things that only works for people who AREN'T mentally interesting. LOL. The amount that's in a giant Diet Coke is the least of my problems compared to what else is happening in my noggin', I'd guess.

Although, for me laying off the sugar does help eventually. If I'm really down I CAN feel the slight 'up' in a big piece of chocolate cake and that actually really saved me once, but I get the psychological guilt a few hours later and feel like I already weigh 5 lbs. more. I also get puffy when I eat too many carbs, but I think I have an issue with gluten. I puff up like crazy QUICK.
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:29 PM   #200
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Caffeine can help quite a bit.

Sugar, for me, is mood POISON. I avoid the stuff at all costs.
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Old 06-30-2009, 07:31 PM   #201
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Caffeine can help quite a bit.

Sugar, for me, is mood POISON. I avoid the stuff at all costs.
I know. I want to quit it but it owns me right now.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:16 PM   #202
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Caffeine can help quite a bit.

Sugar, for me, is mood POISON. I avoid the stuff at all costs.
Ditto on the sugar - I wonder why it affects me SO bad. I really, really do feel best when I lay off it. Conversly, Omega-3s make me feel TONS better. I need to get back to regularly taking fish oil. But seriously if I have salmon or a piece of quality tuna I feel more stable pretty quickly. Not a panacea by any means but it really DOES chill me out a bit and lift some of that doom feeling. I think the closest to perfection my diet comes for my moods is when I eat lots of green salads with olive-oil based dressings and fatty fish. Something about the olive oil and fish oils calms me and I swear I can feel it "kick in."

The other thing I have to be REAL careful about is over-the-counter cold medicine. If heaven forbid I ever get a cold and use NyQuil I'll wake up wanting to die. It makes me crazy depressed. Sudafed too.

I can have a few glasses of wine or 2 martinis and not wake up feeling as horrible as taking 2 gelcaps of NyQuil. But I'm staying away from the booze these days anyway.

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Old 06-30-2009, 10:53 PM   #203
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Man, today was hard. I hope I wake up feeling better. I don't feel completely hopeless but I don't feel like doing anything either. I have that overwhelming everything-is-too-much-work-and-it's-useless-to-try feeling. My place feels like it's a huge gross mess and just way too much to tackle (nevermind that it's like 450 sq. ft.), I don't feel like making dinner so I ate a bunch of pickles (LOL) and I don't feel like washing my hair. Boo. I looked like a hobo at work today and will probably look similiarly tomorrow. And when I'm like this I can't stand my job. Bleahhhh. And I don't wanna go out. Stupid brain. Stay fixed already dammit!!

Me and my BF broke up a few weeks ago and this crazy talented designer's been wanting to take me to dinner and I keep canceling and remaking plans with him. He knows I've got 'issues' and honestly, I don't even feel like actually 'dating' right now but I feel obligated to just GO since I've bailed on him so many times already. And he's easy on the eyes, so thereyago. I'm full of great decisions!!1! LOL. It's one of those awkward deals where he's like 'oh i'm just looking to hang out, don't freak out' blah blah blah but he'll wind up pulling out chairs for me then we'll have an even more awkward conversation in 3 weeks about how it's just not going anywhere and i won't care and neither will he. *sigh*

Can't I just skip that and stay home and eat microwaved bacon?

ETA: Wow, I get really cynical when I'm unstable. LOL.

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Old 06-30-2009, 11:28 PM   #204
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Aw DJ, I hope you feel better tomorrow. I know when I switch meds, I feel like crap for a few days too. Not much advice on the boy thing. Maybe as soon as you feel stable, go out with him before the next med increase?
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:05 AM   #205
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Just got back from the doctor. I am going back to hell tomorrow, er, um, I mean work...i am actually looking forward to it, only becuase sitting at home is a hard thing to do.

I am getting a referral to a psychiatrist and will have an appointment no later than Monday. I think I feel good about it. I told my doctor that I wanted to rule out bipolar once and for all. So for now I will stick with the Lexapro and Klonopin. I think I am going to switch the Lexapro to taking it at night and maybe that will keep me from being so sleepy during the day.

I am worried about work though-I know they will try and pay me back for taking the time off. I think if it gets too bad my doctor would take me off again, but I would rather avoid that.
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:14 AM   #206
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Just got back from the doctor. I am going back to hell tomorrow, er, um, I mean work...i am actually looking forward to it, only becuase sitting at home is a hard thing to do.

I am getting a referral to a psychiatrist and will have an appointment no later than Monday. I think I feel good about it. I told my doctor that I wanted to rule out bipolar once and for all. So for now I will stick with the Lexapro and Klonopin. I think I am going to switch the Lexapro to taking it at night and maybe that will keep me from being so sleepy during the day.

I am worried about work though-I know they will try and pay me back for taking the time off. I think if it gets too bad my doctor would take me off again, but I would rather avoid that.
on the psych appt
and
on the asshats at work.


I am gunna talk to mine about more meds. I feel fine, but DH and I fight so much. Way more than we did pre meds. BiPos (at least me) tend to be rather self absorbed and since I am more 'in the world' I am more opinionated and willing to share my opinion.
Right now I just want to follow the advice from The Wall~ I need to be comfortably numb.
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:31 AM   #207
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Ahhhh sweet normacly is almost close I can practically taste it. I'm almost back to everything not being a catharsis and it just is what it is. I'm keeping dinner date tonight and made plans to hang out with friends after. Still not looking forward to it but I'm trying to break the habit of holing up when I feel "just ok."
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:34 AM   #208
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Just got back from the doctor. I am going back to hell tomorrow, er, um, I mean work...i am actually looking forward to it, only becuase sitting at home is a hard thing to do.

I am getting a referral to a psychiatrist and will have an appointment no later than Monday. I think I feel good about it. I told my doctor that I wanted to rule out bipolar once and for all. So for now I will stick with the Lexapro and Klonopin. I think I am going to switch the Lexapro to taking it at night and maybe that will keep me from being so sleepy during the day.

I am worried about work though-I know they will try and pay me back for taking the time off. I think if it gets too bad my doctor would take me off again, but I would rather avoid that.
So glad you got a psych appt!

I'm wondering if starting Lamictal in the background while taking Lexapro would be a disaster. My internist had me start while I was still on Pristiq, and last year we tried to start while I was still on Geodon. Since it takes weeks to build up I wonder if there would be any harm in starting.

I seriously love this med so far, despite the far and few downspells I've had. From what I've read my experience has been pretty common - within the first few days I felt "different," then a little "better," then horribly down for a day and then EUREKA! And this last downspell wasn't NEARLY as bad as the ones I'd get before. Not even close.

And I have no interest whatsoever in food. LOL. So that's nice. Eating used to preoccupy my mind like 20 hours a day before.

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Old 07-01-2009, 01:12 PM   #209
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Molly-doesn't DH understand that you are always right?

DJ-good to hear you are feeling better. I hate any kind of med change-I never do well with it.

My doctor gave me a card to get my Lexapro for free, so I called it in and activated it before going to th pharmacy. I get down there and the card is rejected-girl behind the counter calls on it and it EXPIRED yesterday!! The stupid activation sticker was over the expiration date. Then, my insurance will not cover it and it's $106! I cannot pay that. I'm going to have to call the doc, but damn, I've tried nearly everything else and i don't know what to do. I do have an RX refill for Cymbalta on file so maybe I should just get that filled. I am going to be a nut case tomorrow at work with another med change. Dammit!
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Old 07-01-2009, 01:25 PM   #210
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ACK!

That would be horrible. Because of my Fetal Alcohol, meds hit me a lot harder. I got high once - manic actually - off of an antibiotic once (Flagyl). That was quite a week.

I take 2.5 mg of lexapro a day. It works pretty well. I've been "wanting" to run depressed but the Lithium and Lexapro whacked it back pretty good. I was a little manic earlier, because I didn't take my meds the instant I got up, like I normally do.

Still better than depressed or mixed! UGH.
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