Spring BiPo Thread~

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

no AD ever worked for me either. It works on the wrong brain chemicals. It would temporarily help but the crash was worse than the original depression OR I would go Hypo and the crash from THAT was 100x worse.

That's what happened with the Cymbalta. I felt great for a while, but the crash was horrible.

[djalomo]

Out of curiosity -- so many meds have weight gain side effects and can significantly change your cravings and the way your body metabolizes things. Did anyone have a change for the better on anything? For me

Paxil - in the very beginning i had no interst in food whatsoever. I'd eat a tiny bit and be full or uncomfortably full. I shrank down to 113 lbs - lowest ever in my life. Unfortunately, it didn't work for my real issues. LOL. And the second time I tried it I gained.

Celexa - REALLY cut the anxiety and killed my carb cravings, oddly

Geodon - OH GOD HELLA sugar-cravings. I hadn't eaten a candy bar in 10 years and wanted that and chocolate chip cookies all the time.

Adderall - Protein grossed me out. Survived on Cinnamelts from McDonald's for a year. Weight fluctated about 14 lbs.

So far on Lamictal it's been WAY easier to stay on plan than it has been for me in years. I feel like I finally have the ability to feel "satisfaction" and not overeat or graze all day.

I've heard L-Glutamine has this effect on people as a supplement. I've never tried it but I thnk that's interesting.

I still have a little bit of "benzo belly" but I'm tapered down to a tiny amount of Xanax as needed, so hopefully this'll diminish with time.

[CurveControl]

I find lamictal to be pretty good about that too. I have a 'normal' appetite for mr, I have never been a big overeater (the reason I disagree with calories in/calories out, I KNOW it is more than that) and I am back to that with Lamictal.

I am more likely to have eaten fast food when depresed ( who wants to cook when nothing matters?) and not eat much at all but drink a LOT when hypomanic.
Lamictal has smoothed that out.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

I find lamictal to be pretty good about that too. I have a 'normal' appetite for mr, I have never been a big overeater (the reason I disagree with calories in/calories out, I KNOW it is more than that) and I am back to that with Lamictal.

I am more likely to have eaten fast food when depresed ( who wants to cook when nothing matters?) and not eat much at all but drink a LOT when hypomanic.
Lamictal has smoothed that out.

Me too. My energy level is normal again, too. I went for a jog yesterday and I had way more energy than I do when depressed (I walk...slowly when I'm depressed) but I didn't have that crazy hypo energy. I jogged a decent distance and got properly winded. I forgot that feeling. I also finally have enough energy and drive to go out and DO things, like grocery shopping, etc.

[CurveControl]

Gosh I could use some hypo energy this week. I am stressed about going to Illinois later this week and it is manifesting as anxiety, frustration, near depression and mild depression. and Insomnia. I have seen 3am and later every night this week.

I know it will be better once I am back here in my own house. Being Angry and sad (not depresssed, but sad) will be my mood while I am there, except when I am with DD1. Well, I will still be sad but I will be happy too, KWIM?

[faithgirl]

For me-Zoloft-I lost 11 pounds the first week I was on it. Added Trazadone a couple months later and eventually had a 40 pound weight gain. But i am a binge eater and at that time was COMPLETELY clueless about AD's and possible weight gain. It was never even mentioned as a possibility. I might have headed some of that off if I had known.

Xanax makes me want to snack constantly, but Klonopin has no effect on my eating.

Pristiq made food disgusting for the first 4 days and then for a couple of weeks afterwards I had little desire to eat. Lost around 12 pounds on that. Unfortunately it didn't last.

I think I lost a few pounds on Cymbalta during the first week.

None of the others had any effect. If they would just figure a way to make the lack of appetite a side effect that sticks, I would have it made...

[CurveControl]

Oh, I forgot sleeping pills~

Lunesta~ OMG~ The taste in my mouth?! Food AND water made me gag. 24/7 nasty taste.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

Gosh I could use some hypo energy this week. I am stressed about going to Illinois later this week and it is manifesting as anxiety, frustration, near depression and mild depression. and Insomnia. I have seen 3am and later every night this week.

I know it will be better once I am back here in my own house. Being Angry and sad (not depresssed, but sad) will be my mood while I am there, except when I am with DD1. Well, I will still be sad but I will be happy too, KWIM?

I feel ya

I'm up late tonight with a stuffy nose and I'm sneezing my butt off! My allergies picked today to flip out.

[dmvgirl]

Originally Posted by djalomo

I feel ya

I'm up late tonight with a stuffy nose and I'm sneezing my butt off! My allergies picked today to flip out.

Me too today, I just want to scratch my eyeballs out. Doesn't help that I had a counseling appt. today and cried my eyes out for an hour. 3 visits, 3 crying sessions... this may take awhile. Seems I may have had issues before bi-po set in, (screwed up childhood, let me rephrase that..screwed up parents. ) so now I get to fix those. I think this is going to take work. Taking a pill is so much easier.

[djalomo]

[dmvgirl]

Originally Posted by djalomo

Thanks I need that today. DH is out of town and today has been the hardest session so far.

[djalomo]

Awww, I'm sorry. What did your session get into? OMG my parents are nuts. LOL. My whole family is. I'm by far the most normal of us all.

I took a nap earlier today and now I can't get to sleep. I'd been doing pretty good with sleep lately. Boooo.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by dmvgirl

Me too today, I just want to scratch my eyeballs out. Doesn't help that I had a counseling appt. today and cried my eyes out for an hour. 3 visits, 3 crying sessions... this may take awhile. Seems I may have had issues before bi-po set in, (screwed up childhood, let me rephrase that..screwed up parents. ) so now I get to fix those. I think this is going to take work. Taking a pill is so much easier.

Having BiPo it is generally accepted at a parent probably was and untrated since that generation was not big on treatment
Crazy parent usually= crazy childhood.

I suspect that BiPo is from Dad, But mom has more severe mental issues, probably from lupus. When it affects the brain it is called Lupus induced Psychosis. It sucked.

OK Gotta go, Heading out of town.

[dmvgirl]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

Having BiPo it is generally accepted at a parent probably was and untrated since that generation was not big on treatment
Crazy parent usually= crazy childhood.

I suspect that BiPo is from Dad, But mom has more severe mental issues, probably from lupus. When it affects the brain it is called Lupus induced Psychosis. It sucked.

OK Gotta go, Heading out of town.

Have a safe trip.

My dad is an alcoholic, a very functional one at that, but he and my mom hid it well for years. My mom, well.. I'm trying to figure that one out. She ruled with an iron fist, not abusive, but not loving at all. They both may be bi-po, but I know if Dad isn't bi-po he definitely suffers from depression.

I guess some of it is hard to accept cause much of my childhood seemed normal. But we lived in a fairly isolated area so how would I have known anyway.
Alot of this has come to a head because my brother announced he is getting a divorce. He is just like my dad, without the drinking, and that isn't easy for anyone to live with but DB doesn't want to consider counseling or a seperation or anything. His stbx is one of my best friends, so I am getting both sides and I know that DB wants this, completely his idea. My mom is laying 95% of the blame on stbx and I'm starting to see she is spiteful and demanding, always has been. I was just used to it i guess. But the anger and hurt from all the years of her behavior is poisoning me and my marriage and I need to fix it. I love my parents( I think), but right now I don't like them at all.

[djalomo]

OH GOD PEOPLE

Getting your face threaded hurts WAY MORE when you're stable than it does when you're hypomanic.

I swear I had nerves of steel before but my upper lip was like a thousand tiny little razor blades stabbing over and over and over again. OMG when I stood up after my knees were weak. LOL! Don't believe ANYTHING I ever said before pro-threading.

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by dmvgirl

Me too today, I just want to scratch my eyeballs out. Doesn't help that I had a counseling appt. today and cried my eyes out for an hour. 3 visits, 3 crying sessions... this may take awhile. Seems I may have had issues before bi-po set in, (screwed up childhood, let me rephrase that..screwed up parents. ) so now I get to fix those. I think this is going to take work. Taking a pill is so much easier.

Hope things are going better. I've not done any counseling but my doctor wants me to. I will, but haven't made the appointment yet.

Molly-hope your trip is good.

Dj-I have no idea what getting your face threaded is, but it sounds BAD!

[faithgirl]

The med change isn't going too great. Nothing major-mood swings and rapid heartbeat-probably a low level panic attack. I had my first set of panic attacks last summer after a med change, so this just may be something my body does. Could not get to sleep last night until 2:00 a.m. Finally took a Klonopin at about 12:45 and it kicked in at 2:00. This afternoon I did some pacing. Lots of energy most of the afternoon. I took a Klonopin though and that seemed to help.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by faithgirl

The med change isn't going too great. Nothing major-mood swings and rapid heartbeat-probably a low level panic attack. I had my first set of panic attacks last summer after a med change, so this just may be something my body does. Could not get to sleep last night until 2:00 a.m. Finally took a Klonopin at about 12:45 and it kicked in at 2:00. This afternoon I did some pacing. Lots of energy most of the afternoon. I took a Klonopin though and that seemed to help.

The drive sucked, but then it always does because I hate to drive. and DS was a PITA about the music.

Had dinner w/ my parents and DD1.
Then hung w/ DD1 a while. I love my parents, I do, But at this point small doses of them go a looong way.

Peaceful at the hotel, gunna have a Mike's hard lemonade and go to bed in a bit. It is 10:35 here but I am on Ohio time and it is 11:35 in my body. DH will be here late tomorrow night.
I hate to sleep alone.

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

The drive sucked, but then it always does because I hate to drive. and DS was a PITA about the music.

Had dinner w/ my parents and DD1.
Then hung w/ DD1 a while. I love my parents, I do, But at this point small doses of them go a looong way.

Peaceful at the hotel, gunna have a Mike's hard lemonade and go to bed in a bit. It is 10:35 here but I am on Ohio time and it is 11:35 in my body. DH will be here late tomorrow night.
I hate to sleep alone.

I HATE driving too! I usually try and make my sister do it if we are going somewhere together.

The hotel is a good thing! My aunt and uncle would come out every year and stay at my grandparent's house (becuase grandma would have been offended if they didn't) And my aunt was ready to seriously hurt someone by the time the visit was over.

[djalomo]

CC I hope the next few days are as stress-free as they could possibly be.

Man I'm having sleep issues again. They're different than the ones I had before, though. I'm awake but it just feels like I can't "fall" asleep - but otherwise I'm ok -- no racing thoughts, or shaking legs/body or feelings of restlessness or anything. I feel a little "tensed up" but I can't sleep. I also around bedtime start to have a bunch of trouble breathing through my nose, like it gets stuffy. Sometimes I start sneezing a lot, sometimes it just feels stuffy. Once I take Xanax and Benedryl I'm usually good to sleep. But I get sooo crazy bloated when I take Xanax. And, it also makes me feel really hungry a few minutes after taking it. I don't eat a big meal or anything, but a snack that's prob at least 200 cals. But on plan. But still...hmmm.

[CurveControl]

I have never had that problem with Xanax (the hunger) but boy howdee I did with seroquel! One of the reasons I stopped taking it.

DJ if the insomnia continues through the weekend I would call the doc (or even call today) because I have had a bit of trouble with Lamictal affecting my insomnia even with my sleep meds when I titrate too fast. I found that by scaling back to the last dose then increasing more gradually (like instead of going from 100 to 150, I go back to 100 for a few days then increase to 125 a few days Then increase to 150, with no problem) I could still eventually get to the desired dose w/o insomnia, it just took longer and gave my brain more time to adjust more slowly.
I seem to only be able to do increases of 25 mg w/o triggering my insomnia to some degree, But as long as I go slow in adding I do fine.

ETA~ Thanks for the well wishes. It will be uber stressful her no matter what. Other than seeing DD1 I hate these trips. I wish DD and I could hole up in the hotel and see No One else, But no suck luck.

Some kid pulled the fire alarm and evacuated the hotel thismorning. Gah. Not a good trip so far even on the hotel front.

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

I have never had that problem with Xanax (the hunger) but boy howdee I did with seroquel! One of the reasons I stopped taking it.

DJ if the insomnia continues through the weekend I would call the doc (or even call today) because I have had a bit of trouble with Lamictal affecting my insomnia even with my sleep meds when I titrate too fast. I found that by scaling back to the last dose then increasing more gradually (like instead of going from 100 to 150, I go back to 100 for a few days then increase to 125 a few days Then increase to 150, with no problem) I could still eventually get to the desired dose w/o insomnia, it just took longer and gave my brain more time to adjust more slowly.
I seem to only be able to do increases of 25 mg w/o triggering my insomnia to some degree, But as long as I go slow in adding I do fine.

ETA~ Thanks for the well wishes. It will be uber stressful her no matter what. Other than seeing DD1 I hate these trips. I wish DD and I could hole up in the hotel and see No One else, But no suck luck.

Some kid pulled the fire alarm and evacuated the hotel thismorning. Gah. Not a good trip so far even on the hotel front.

Ay yi yi! Doesn't that kid know he has a stressed woman in the building? Little monster!

Xanax made me want to eat and eat, but it was usually the next day that it kicked in. Klonopin doesn't do that to me, thank goodness.

For future reference, in case it's needed, can melatonin be taken with any of the psychotropic drugs? It's harmless with them? DJ-hope you get past this soon!

I don't know what's going on with me. After not being able to sit still all day yesterday-went to bed at about midnight and was surprised to be able to sleep. Woke up earlier this morning feeling VERY depressed and tired. Stayed up for about 30 minutes and said screw it, and went back to bed. Didn't wake up until noon! As someone that nomally is up at 5:30 am everymorning to get ready for work, this is totally unlike me. I feel okay mood wise right now. Maybe yesterday's hihg energy was just a withdrawal of the Pristiq? Darn if it was, becuase i was going to tackle the kitchen floor today!

[djalomo]

How's everyone doing today?

[faithgirl]

I am not doing so great with the Lexapro. I go from really down and depressed to slightly wired and happy. Plus I need about 12 hours of sleep on this stuff. Yesterday I felt really really good all day and was just amazed, but I knew it wasn't going to last and it didn't.

How was your trip? I saw where Piper behaved himself. Good kitty!

[Houston Heather]

I tend to run "up" on Lexapro.

I had 2 horrible migraines in the space of a week. It is miserably hot, humid and oppressive. The high pressure front keeps the tropical wave away, it also make us miserable.

Anyway 2 days with a brutal migraine this weekend, and 2 days at the beginning of last week too. UGH.

The only good thing is it flattens out my moods. Before diagnosis, sometimes I used to eat a trigger food just to get one and slow down. Pretty horrible solution.

Anyway, now that I can eat I am stuffing lithium down the hatch everytime I do eat. We had a couple days in Galveston last week, that was fun. We'd like to do it again soon.

Sales are dead, this is the best time of year to get away. No one misses us!

[faithgirl]

Sorry about the migraine Heather. I've had a constant headache since starting Lexapro. I wouldn't mind being 'up', it's the up and down that is getting to me. I get so tired of the depression-it makes me feel helpless. Exercising isn't working and normally that helps. I go back to the doctor on Wednesday and we will set up my first appointment with a psychiatrist. I should have done it last year when he suggested it, but I wasn't ready to admit there was a real problem. I am just tired of nothing working.

[Houston Heather]

Ugh. I really feel blessed that the lithium worked from the git-go, even a day or two in I knew I needed the stuff.

I'll be praying for you to get some answers!

[faithgirl]

Thanks Heather!

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Ugh. I really feel blessed that the lithium worked from the git-go, even a day or two in I knew I needed the stuff.

I'll be praying for you to get some answers!

I know what you mean! OMG I'm still titrating up on Lamictal and nowhere close to what a legit therueputic dose is, and I can't believe how the quality of my life has already improved. I still have days when I wake up a little down, but it's almost always as a result of something I can predict, like the odd night I DO have to take Lunesta to sleep. I went from 50mgs to 75 yesterday so hopefully as I go higher I'll find even better stability. But dang, it ain't bad.

[Houston Heather]

Once I had normal there was no going back, even WITH the side effects.