Spring BiPo Thread~

[Houston Heather]

My dreams got back to "normal".

I am properly medicated now. I got some lithium 150's to take at lunchtime, it's the JUST RIGHT dose for me.

I've been online for over an hour and I just now remembered I was going to buy something.

[Allieglover]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

My dreams got back to "normal".

I am properly medicated now. I got some lithium 150's to take at lunchtime, it's the JUST RIGHT dose for me.

I've been online for over an hour and I just now remembered I was going to buy something.

That is too funny. Is that because you added more lithium? What side effects do you get from it? Can you function through out the day while working, driving etc...?

[Houston Heather]

I would not be able to drive sometimes on the lithium. I can work but I occasionally get an attack of the "stupids". I work for my husband and he thinks it's "cute" and a lot better than "Heather the Hatchet".

It tends to make me act "stoned".
When at the right dose, I tend to have just a little trouble finding words and saying things.
Big time dry mouth and horrible taste in my mouth
I am not very coordinated, and it's worse when properly medicated. I generally sport at least a few bruises from running into things.
Sometimes it makes me high - not often.
It just makes me very mellow and easygoing. I don't react as much as I would normally.
Up or down, it ALWAYS takes the edge off.
It always helps with psychotic features, too.
It's VERY affordable.
It works fast. I can feel it working within a few hours after taking it.

If I'm getting too much, I really can't think and I drop things. Then I know to cut back.

With the Lexapro, I have sexual side effects - no sex drive. I also will get a horribly itchy rash if I'm out in the sun for too long, more than a few minutes. More dry mouth. I don't want to hurt or kill myself on it so I suck it up.

The Risperdal raises my prolactin levels. Rarely, I express breast milk. It also makes my breasts swell (I am now a C cup), and they get VERY tender and sore for about 10 days before my period, every month. But it helps a lot. I don't hear/see/feel/smell things that aren't there and I know no one is out to get me. So I take it, literally.

All the side effects run together because I have taken this cocktail since I was formally diagnosed back in winter of 2006.

[Allieglover]

I have my Dr.'s appointment tonight. I don't know what he is going to recommend. I feel like I've tried just about everything.

I've tried Risperdal w/ the side effect pill, Seroquel, Lamictal, Zonegran, Trileptal and of course klonopin for panic attacks.

What else is there for BPII that wont cause weight gain? I think he might try Lamictal again since depression is the most prominent symptom right now. Although, I've read this can cause weight gain too.

I'm so confused! Maybe I'll take a month off from medicine. I don't know.

BTW I wore a shirt yesterday that was skin tight 2 weeks ago and it was very loose yesterday. Plus, I'm down 2 pounds from yesterday!

[CurveControl]

Being fat sucks. Being an unmedicated thin BiPoar is worse.

[Houston Heather]

Oh, yeah.

As I get close to goal I wonder how close I'll get. On a major level, I don't expect to get t0 150.. I feel it will be higher.

Hey, thanks to the Risperdal I went from a B cup to a C! I may be a little heavy but I've got a rack!

I have never gained on Lithium. The weight I gained after the lithium had everything to do with the 3 pastries I was eating a day, and pint of ice cream every night, and it wasn't that much considering.

For me at least, lithium and low carb are entirely compatible. It does have side effects so some people can't do it.

[Allieglover]

He want's me to stay on Klonopin as needed, but he wants me to start a low dose of Zoloft and work my way up.That or nothing for now. Depakote is out of the question because he said I can put on 50-60#

I'm nervous to start an Anti-Depressant without the aid of a mood stabalizer. So I will think about this a while before I start. He prescribed Zoloft in December and I was to afraid to start it then so I will see. I still have it in my drawer.

Other than that he said just to keep taking my Klonopin.

Has anyone else ever taken an antidepressant without being on a mood stabalizer? He said if my mood starts to elevate or I start cycling then call him.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by Allieglover

He want's me to stay on Klonopin as needed, but he wants me to start a low dose of Zoloft and work my way up.That or nothing for now. Depakote is out of the question because he said I can put on 50-60#

I'm nervous to start an Anti-Depressant without the aid of a mood stabalizer. So I will think about this a while before I start. He prescribed Zoloft in December and I was to afraid to start it then so I will see. I still have it in my drawer.

Other than that he said just to keep taking my Klonopin.

Has anyone else ever taken an antidepressant without being on a mood stabalizer? He said if my mood starts to elevate or I start cycling then call him.

I'm only taking an antidepressant right now. I feel pretty good, I just can't sleep well. I feel a little hypo occasionally but not cycling or aggressive or doing anything stupid...yet. I've been just taking antidepressants for a few months now, but I'm completely open to doing a mood stabilizer again if I need to. I suspect I will. I'd be surprised if this is a good long-term solution, but my panic was just crazy on the stabalizers, ironically, and I couldn't deal with some of the other side effects right now. But I'm aware that I'm in a pretty deep state of denial about my long-term health.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Allieglover

He want's me to stay on Klonopin as needed, but he wants me to start a low dose of Zoloft and work my way up.That or nothing for now. Depakote is out of the question because he said I can put on 50-60#

I'm nervous to start an Anti-Depressant without the aid of a mood stabalizer. So I will think about this a while before I start. He prescribed Zoloft in December and I was to afraid to start it then so I will see. I still have it in my drawer.

Other than that he said just to keep taking my Klonopin.

Has anyone else ever taken an antidepressant without being on a mood stabalizer? He said if my mood starts to elevate or I start cycling then call him.

many times, and since I was not diagnosed BP until my very late 30's no one was watching to see if I cycled or elevated. You have that in your doc, and I am very glad for you. IF you do start to have mood issues you have the doc to help treat them.

I have never been full manic, from antiDs or anything, but I have been Hypomanic from the meds. To me, it just meant "hey, The meds worked, and I am not depressed anymore" and I enjoyed the Hypo for a while, would eventually wind down to my regular self and then in a year or 2 have another depression, take meds, get hypomanic......on and on. My Bi Po is not as severe as many. My initial Diagnosis was cyclothymia, very low on the mood disorder spectrum, But some serious stressors affected my moods enough to bump me up to a very mild BiPoII.

My advice is to take the meds, keep a mood diary and ask those around you to help you see if you start acting manic, as often we are the last to see it.

[Houston Heather]

I got full blown manic from anti-d's, but then again I am a type one. That was in my teens!

Poor Mom and Dad, and they're STILL taking my calls!

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

I got full blown manic from anti-d's, but then again I am a type one. That was in my teens!

Poor Mom and Dad, and they're STILL taking my calls!

My sister is type 1, though she lies about it.
I wanna shake her!
BiPo is BiPo, Treat what you have and the rest is semantics, Yanno?

cyclo can become II with just a shift, II can become I in a matter of hours and I can be psychotic (either from depression or mania) within a short time too.


It is an imperfect scale, with a lot of questions still out there.

[Houston Heather]

Yeah. A family member is convinced she is also bipolar, but her doc says it is depression. If I didn't work in a postal/federal facility, I'd mail her some lithium.

But it would be our livelihood if I got caught.

The diet sodas + lithium are playing hell with my stomach, so the diet sodas went. I expect more weight loss as a result.

I'm drinking some WONDERFUL jasmine tea I bought last week, feeling great, getting antioxidants, and even the dry mouth is better.

That upset pukey stomach may be the best thing to happen to my health this year. Poor tummy!

It is very happy as long as I stay away from soda, it's like antabuse or something for diet sodas. I drink one, I get pukey.

[CurveControl]

Oh sis is diagnosed, But she lies to her Pdoc about her symptoms, her manic losses of control, and spins them as reactions to anxiety so she can get more xanax.

[Houston Heather]

Eek. My family member's symptoms sound so much like mine, and Mom's... it's sad.

She loves her p-doc though and has to desire for another opinion.

I am eliminating a nasty side effect I blamed on the risperdal. I cut out the diet sodas 'cause they were making me pukey.

The water retention in my breasts is very improved.

[CurveControl]

Pdoc appt tomorrow. I do not anticipate any changes other than him urging a therapist on me again.

[Houston Heather]

I hate it when I'm depressed and can't fall asleep.

Running on empty today...

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

I hate it when I'm depressed and can't fall asleep.

Running on empty today...

I have to confront my sister (via phone) about some stuff regarding my parents that she said to me yesterday,and she is pushing manic and it is not going to be pretty.

[Houston Heather]

Ugh.

I had a horrible mixed week... yuck.

I'm staggering around, can barely find words, but at least I'm on top of it. When I'm not getting enough lithium, I have horrible nightmares about blood, sex, and violence... yuck.

[shudder] All I gotta do is take another pill? Bring it!

[djalomo]

I'd been feeling pretty normal for about a month now, and I woke up early this morning horribly depressed. Boo.

[CurveControl]

I had a pretty bad dau 2 days ago DJ. Then I started my period. No other hysical symptoms just a little more of the usual insomnia and some pretty serious depression. Hit fast and hard and lifted about a day and a half later. No hypo, so that is good.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

I had a pretty bad dau 2 days ago DJ. Then I started my period. No other hysical symptoms just a little more of the usual insomnia and some pretty serious depression. Hit fast and hard and lifted about a day and a half later. No hypo, so that is good.

I totally forgot I'm due for TOM. I took a nap and felt tons better, had a chocolate cupcake for lunch (bad girl, i know ) and sure enough period came.

I don't know what it is about waking up very early in the morning....I used to be the type who'd go for a jog, make coffee or something to make my morning 'special' but I just dread going to work so much that it's all i can think about when i'm up that early. And my body was just soooo tired. THe thought of getting dressed just hurt. I know I need to get out of this work situation - i think it's exacerbating an already bad situation for me. I dread it every day. It's the lonliest, cattiest office in the universe and I've never felt so disposable. Boo.

[Houston Heather]

My period is late... and I was way nauseous all this month. Ron's fixed.. but people keep saying it's not 100%.

At any rate, I got over a horrible mixed episode, got toxic (ick), and got back to a good lithium dosage. Ron says I'm still up.. I told him, don't worry, I ALWAYS get depressed in July.

"Oh, boy! I can hardly wait!" Booger!

Nice thing about the meds, I knew he was kidding!

[djalomo]

I hope your moods even out ok, HH.

I love medication. lol. Today was literally one of those 'bad days' I think a 'normal' person might have when they have 'the blues.' After getting some more rest, cleaning up my place a little and treating myself good for the evening, I finally feel soooooooooooo much better. I had a really really lovely quiet evening alone.

Weird. It's such a good feeling, oddly, to be able to have a PMS day or a weird depressed/anxious day and have it pass without having to make some huge adjustment to a new med. That feeling of relief when it started to feel better REALLY surprised me. I Pristiq.

I called in sick today against my better judgement, but really, I just felt like I couldn't physically get myself dressed this morning, and to my surprise the day didn't end with me feeling deeper into the dark pit of self-despair like I used to when my head was even more jacked up. I'm calling today a win.

[CurveControl]

I am glad to hear you are both having better days!
I had a pretty good one yesterday myself. I have an appt w/ my DO today, I have some joint issues going on, but nothing she can't fix. I dove my Doc.

I hope today is a good day. I really needed to slow down on the drinking and I have. It has been a bit of a struggle, and that bothers me some. 2 a night. That is all I am comfortable with. And I am back there and feel much better.

[Houston Heather]

Majorly medicated. Heather the zombie... but I was a cuddly one.

I feel a little more normal now, whatever that is.

[CurveControl]

Normal???


Heather.

[faithgirl]

Hi all. I need someone to talk to...hope you don't mind...I went off Cymbalta last fall becuase I got tired of the side effects and didn't seem to be getting anything positive from it anymore. I have chronic depression and the last 4-5 weeks have developed panic attacks-very bad heart pounding and can't breathe. I went to the doc Wednesday and he gave me Klonopin and Pristiq. The panic attacks are much better controlled-I can feel my heart will try to get started, but then it just can't quite go nuts on me like it use to. But I still have some trouble with the mind stuff-still freaking over stuff, but not as badly I think.

My biggest problem is work. The new boss gets his thrills out of torturing people and I know I am next in his sights becuase he is eliminating my job. He won't get rid of me, at least not right away, becuase he is a truly perverted and sick individual and will torture me instead. I would rather get laid off except that I need my insurance. I've been on vacation this week, but have to go back on Monday. All I have been able to do this morning is sit and cry.

I don't think the Pristiq is working for me. At least not strongly enough. I am not sure If I should give it more time. I know it's supposed to take 4-6 weeks to reach it's max, but my history has been that if an AD is going to work, it will do it the first 1-2 days. But then there's the Klonopin-that may be overiding the Pristiq for right now and the Pristiq might get stronger? I don't know, and I don't know if I can make it to work on Monday. My doctor offered to take me off work for a couple of weeka(his suggestion, not anything I even hinted at). But If I am off for only a couple of weeks, I can imagine what they will do to me at work when I get back. And HIIPA or not, they will talk about it openly and ridicule me when I am not present. I hate this place, but am not in an emotional state where I can look for a new job, not that there is much out there right now anyway.

I don't know what to do...taking a few weeks off will likely make things worse, but I don't know if I can make it at work on Monday. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so tired of being 'me' anymore.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by faithgirl

Hi all. I need someone to talk to...hope you don't mind...I went off Cymbalta last fall becuase I got tired of the side effects and didn't seem to be getting anything positive from it anymore. I have chronic depression and the last 4-5 weeks have developed panic attacks-very bad heart pounding and can't breathe. I went to the doc Wednesday and he gave me Klonopin and Pristiq. The panic attacks are much better controlled-I can feel my heart will try to get started, but then it just can't quite go nuts on me like it use to. But I still have some trouble with the mind stuff-still freaking over stuff, but not as badly I think.

My biggest problem is work. The new boss gets his thrills out of torturing people and I know I am next in his sights becuase he is eliminating my job. He won't get rid of me, at least not right away, becuase he is a truly perverted and sick individual and will torture me instead. I would rather get laid off except that I need my insurance. I've been on vacation this week, but have to go back on Monday. All I have been able to do this morning is sit and cry.

I don't think the Pristiq is working for me. At least not strongly enough. I am not sure If I should give it more time. I know it's supposed to take 4-6 weeks to reach it's max, but my history has been that if an AD is going to work, it will do it the first 1-2 days. But then there's the Klonopin-that may be overiding the Pristiq for right now and the Pristiq might get stronger? I don't know, and I don't know if I can make it to work on Monday. My doctor offered to take me off work for a couple of weeka(his suggestion, not anything I even hinted at). But If I am off for only a couple of weeks, I can imagine what they will do to me at work when I get back. And HIIPA or not, they will talk about it openly and ridicule me when I am not present. I hate this place, but am not in an emotional state where I can look for a new job, not that there is much out there right now anyway.

I don't know what to do...taking a few weeks off will likely make things worse, but I don't know if I can make it at work on Monday. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so tired of being 'me' anymore.

What dose of pristiq are you on?
when is the doc planning to titrate your Pristiq up?
I don't think Klonopin will 'block' the effects of an antiD, But because of the way pristiq works you may have to give it an extra week or so. I have never taken it, and I don't know much about it. It is pretty new, isn't it?

I hope the job front clears soon. What a JERK!
I would take the extra week and you do NOT have to tell anyone why (Unless it is in your contract or company policy) and even then just HR. To have HR tell anyone else (including your boss) is to make it a hostile work environment (Sounds like it already is!!) and I would be sriously documenting the crap they are doing.

[faithgirl]

Thanks Molly. Pristiq is a newer drug. I don't know when/if we are going up on it-I have an appointment in a week and a half to check on it. If this doesn't settle down though I will have to go sooner. I am feeling somewhat better this afternoon. One of these drugs, or maybe its a combination of the two, is giving me tremendous appetite control. I know that's not supposed to be my main concern, but I would hate to lose that by switching. I thought I read somewhere that Klonopin has an effect of being a mood stabilizer, even though that isn't what it initially is rx'd for. Am I confusing that with something else?

[CurveControl]

I have heard that too. It also helps with seizures and several anti seizure meds help with mood swings, so It wouldn't surprise me.