Mother in Law nightmare!

Susie Q · 09-18-2007, 08:52 AM

Hey guys, listen to this...My new mom in law is really giving me a run for my money (1 yr so far). Before we got married, she sat me down and explained how all the women in my hubby's life had been really tiny, no i mean really tiny she says, really really small...lol. (im in 6-8's) Anyway, I guess she needs a size 2 or something, because she has now given me 8 magazines with articles about weight loss, and healthy etc...sending the message the indeed Im not small enough.Lost night they stayed, and she gave me a mag with an artice about Wynona Judd talking about how she has really struggled...lol. Im pretty secure, and not worried about my weight. I eat better than most people I know...lol. What would you do??? Im going to thank her, and then tell her Ive got all the magazines I could ever use, that I dont need anymore...

what a drag huh?

CindyLouWho · 09-18-2007, 08:55 AM

I would say graciously, and with a smile: "Thanks, but I don't want to lose weight. I'm happy right where I am and [insert husband's name here] is happy with me too."

OurLuvsFromAbove · 09-18-2007, 09:00 AM

is she really skinny? if shes not i'd poke at her side and ask her if shes as good at taking her own advise as giving it, becuase it sure doesn't look that way (or feel that way).. but im a bit heartless when it comes to people putting down my weight..

and if shes really skinny, just say to her "did you ever come to think that maybe (husbands name) married me because im not just like his mother?"

ItsToni · 09-18-2007, 09:02 AM

You could always concact some big story like "Thanks for the magazines - I haven't had to buy toilet paper in AGES! Oh, by the way, I'm really thinking of trying to gain, like, 50 lbs. cuz my hubby likes 'um cushy!" Then, sit back and laugh at her reaction.

oh, just kidding.

BitsyMay · 09-18-2007, 09:05 AM

Oh, I would have to have a lot of fun with her. Next time she stays with you stock up the fridge with bacon, eggs, cream, whole milk, a ton of cheese...you get the picture. Is there a magazine out there that caters to full figured women? If so, be sure to display them on your coffee table....probably not the best way to deal with this problem, but you sure would have a lot of fun with it.

Susie Q · 09-18-2007, 09:06 AM

Too funny!!! But see you guys, that's the thing. Im not perfect, but things are fine!!!! I'm definately not big...and no she's huge.

ItsToni · 09-18-2007, 09:16 AM

Good luck with her...family is a touchy subject.

OurLuvsFromAbove · 09-18-2007, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Susie Q

Too funny!!! But see you guys, that's the thing. Im not perfect, but things are fine!!!! I'm definately not big...and no she's huge.

SINCE SHES HUGE and insists on poking fun at you, I suggest that you ask her if she knows why her son likes tiny girls. and whip out a mirror and show it to her.. lmao

KayeJH · 09-18-2007, 09:35 AM

Susie Q,

I really sympathize with you! My mother-in-law is very similar - except that she is really, really tiny - always has been. I've been married to her son for 17 years and she still cannot help but make some snide remark about weight and exercising every time I'm around her. She is very self-righteous about how much she walks and works out and hints that if I wasn't so lazy, I could be thin like her too. Never mind that she was born with a very small frame, or that she smokes like a chimney. The message is that I'm "bad" because I'm not like her. What makes people like that?

Anyway, fortunately she lives in another state and I only have to see her once or twice a year. I let my husband do all the corresponding with her by telephone. She and I have almost no relationship and it's sad.

Oh well, you can't choose your in-laws.

Kaye

Groovycadreamr · 09-18-2007, 09:45 AM

Just tell her that, your dh/her son, like you with "meat" on your bones. lol.

SugarFreeSheila · 09-18-2007, 10:09 AM

SusieQ, if that is you in your avatar, then you're already tiny. That said, please do not allow this woman or her shocking lack of decorum to convince you into thinking you are not slim enough for your husband. He married you; not her - and trust me, you would be the first to know if you weren't up too snuff.

People do what they know they can get away with, and we teach others how to treat us. Your mother-in-law is behaving this way because you have shown her it is allowed - otherwise, she would have stopped cold after the first test/infraction. Remaining quiet is not keeping the peace; so since this bothers you, nip it in the bud by laying it on the line the next time she pulls this faux pas.

P.S: If you have a self-effacing personality, be cautious in doing this in front of her; passive-aggressive types like this tend to see this as an "in" to dive right in and join you!

RavenG · 09-18-2007, 10:48 AM

My ex-husband's grandmother was the meanest woman I've ever met in my life! She came to visit one year and walked into the house took one look at me and said she was going to lock me in the closet and feed me bread and water till I lost some weight. My response? Is that before or after I lock you in the closet and feed you Prozac till you get that stick out of your (insert word here!)

She never said another word.

Melle's_Sweetheart · 09-18-2007, 12:38 PM

You're 140 lbs!!!!!!!!

Why don't you tell her to go *pluck* herself?

Charski · 09-18-2007, 01:23 PM

Most people like that are just looking to get a rise out of you. The easiest way to put her off-guard is to simply agree with her - when she says, "Oh, [insert DH's/Son's name here] likes his girls TINY!" just say, "Um hmmm!", smile, and go on like it doesn't bother you one little bit. It will cease being fun for her if you give her NO reaction at all.

If you react at all, even with something humorous, she'll just take it as an invitation to step up the attacks. A wise woman once told me, "It's no fun to argue with someone who agrees with you!"

Melle's_Sweetheart · 09-18-2007, 03:24 PM

I still would have taken the opportunity to tell her to *pluck* herself.

Determinedtolose · 09-18-2007, 04:31 PM

You should your MIL, "correction dear MIL, your son likes his woman curvy with something to grab onto!" "Why do you think he married me!"
Then watch her reaction.

ReneeD70 · 09-18-2007, 04:48 PM

In my opinion..your HUSBAND should take issue with his mother offending his wife.
If YOUR mom did that to your hubby I bet you'd tell her in a flat minute

Well maybe, I know I would!

fawn · 09-18-2007, 05:33 PM

Quote:

People do what they know they can get away with, and we teach others how to treat us. Your mother-in-law is behaving this way because you have shown her it is allowed - otherwise, she would have stopped cold after the first test/infraction. Remaining quiet is not keeping the peace; so since this bothers you, nip it in the bud by laying it on the line the next time she pulls this faux pas.

Great post Sheila.
In my humble opinion, this woman should be put in her place before it gets worse. You can do this graciously.

J-Sub · 09-18-2007, 09:28 PM

Mybe i'm old school, but I feel it's your husband's place to put "Mother" in her place.
He could and should take care of this issue pretty quick.

Mickey Lou · 09-19-2007, 12:06 PM

Ah, the evils of marriage.

My friend was just telling me a similar story, but it was over the "horror" of how late her baby took a nap one afternoon.

Get A LIFE!

Susie Q · 09-20-2007, 09:19 AM

Thanks for all the great support guys!

09-18-2007, 08:52 AM	#1
Susie Q Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 789 Gallery: Susie Q Stats: 165/140/135 WOE: Atkins by the Book	Mother in Law nightmare! Hey guys, listen to this...My new mom in law is really giving me a run for my money (1 yr so far). Before we got married, she sat me down and explained how all the women in my hubby's life had been really tiny, no i mean really tiny she says, really really small...lol. (im in 6-8's) Anyway, I guess she needs a size 2 or something, because she has now given me 8 magazines with articles about weight loss, and healthy etc...sending the message the indeed Im not small enough.Lost night they stayed, and she gave me a mag with an artice about Wynona Judd talking about how she has really struggled...lol. Im pretty secure, and not worried about my weight. I eat better than most people I know...lol. What would you do??? Im going to thank her, and then tell her Ive got all the magazines I could ever use, that I dont need anymore... what a drag huh?

09-18-2007, 09:16 AM	#7
ItsToni MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Northwest Indiana Posts: 2,126 Gallery: ItsToni Stats: 5'9" - started@223 WOE: Atkins (over & over) Start Date: October 21, 2005	Good luck with her...family is a touchy subject. Last edited by ItsToni : 09-18-2007 at 09:17 AM.

09-18-2007, 10:09 AM	#11
SugarFreeSheila I'm here to help! Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 4,713 Gallery: SugarFreeSheila Stats: 141 to 109 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 2001	SusieQ, if that is you in your avatar, then you're already tiny. That said, please do not allow this woman or her shocking lack of decorum to convince you into thinking you are not slim enough for your husband. He married you; not her - and trust me, you would be the first to know if you weren't up too snuff. People do what they know they can get away with, and we teach others how to treat us. Your mother-in-law is behaving this way because you have shown her it is allowed - otherwise, she would have stopped cold after the first test/infraction. Remaining quiet is not keeping the peace; so since this bothers you, nip it in the bud by laying it on the line the next time she pulls this faux pas. P.S: If you have a self-effacing personality, be cautious in doing this in front of her; passive-aggressive types like this tend to see this as an "in" to dive right in and join you! __________________ Before: Tight size 10; After: 0-1 & 13.92% bf *5'3", 7 years at goal, never used a trainer* <- Avatar photo taken Christmas Day '08 in Dallas *Someone who "marches to the beat of a different drummer" is still a follower - they're just following someone else.* March to the beat of your own drum!

09-18-2007, 01:23 PM	#14
Charski Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Central Coastal CA Posts: 10,673 Gallery: Charski Stats: 174 (WW)/130/150 goal 5'5" 55 years young WOE: ATKINS! now and always.... Start Date: 5/03	Most people like that are just looking to get a rise out of you. The easiest way to put her off-guard is to simply agree with her - when she says, "Oh, [insert DH's/Son's name here] likes his girls TINY!" just say, "Um hmmm!", smile, and go on like it doesn't bother you one little bit. It will cease being fun for her if you give her NO reaction at all. If you react at all, even with something humorous, she'll just take it as an invitation to step up the attacks. A wise woman once told me, "It's no fun to argue with someone who agrees with you!" __________________ Veni, Vidi, Velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck! Save the Earth - it's the only planet with chocolate! ATKINS '72 - MAINTENANCE X 5 YEARS! 2 7 10 16 31 12

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09-18-2007, 08:55 AM	#2
CindyLouWho MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: OHIO Posts: 1,026 Gallery: CindyLouWho Stats: 173/142 (5'8" tall) WOE: Whole, unprocessed, organic food	I would say graciously, and with a smile: "Thanks, but I don't want to lose weight. I'm happy right where I am and [insert husband's name here] is happy with me too."

09-18-2007, 09:00 AM	#3
OurLuvsFromAbove Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Brooklyn Ny Posts: 3,168 Blog Entries: 4 Gallery: OurLuvsFromAbove Stats: 182/148/125 (restart) use to be 227) WOE: Low Carb and Eggcreaming it up! Start Date: Restart March 2008	is she really skinny? if shes not i'd poke at her side and ask her if shes as good at taking her own advise as giving it, becuase it sure doesn't look that way (or feel that way).. but im a bit heartless when it comes to people putting down my weight.. and if shes really skinny, just say to her "did you ever come to think that maybe (husbands name) married me because im not just like his mother?"

09-18-2007, 09:02 AM	#4
ItsToni MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Northwest Indiana Posts: 2,126 Gallery: ItsToni Stats: 5'9" - started@223 WOE: Atkins (over & over) Start Date: October 21, 2005	You could always concact some big story like "Thanks for the magazines - I haven't had to buy toilet paper in AGES! Oh, by the way, I'm really thinking of trying to gain, like, 50 lbs. cuz my hubby likes 'um cushy!" Then, sit back and laugh at her reaction. oh, just kidding.

09-18-2007, 09:05 AM	#5
BitsyMay Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 747 Gallery: BitsyMay	Oh, I would have to have a lot of fun with her. Next time she stays with you stock up the fridge with bacon, eggs, cream, whole milk, a ton of cheese...you get the picture. Is there a magazine out there that caters to full figured women? If so, be sure to display them on your coffee table....probably not the best way to deal with this problem, but you sure would have a lot of fun with it.

09-18-2007, 09:06 AM	#6
Susie Q Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 789 Gallery: Susie Q Stats: 165/140/135 WOE: Atkins by the Book	Too funny!!! But see you guys, that's the thing. Im not perfect, but things are fine!!!! I'm definately not big...and no she's huge.

09-18-2007, 09:35 AM	#9
KayeJH Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 247 Gallery: KayeJH WOE: Atkins	Susie Q, I really sympathize with you! My mother-in-law is very similar - except that she is really, really tiny - always has been. I've been married to her son for 17 years and she still cannot help but make some snide remark about weight and exercising every time I'm around her. She is very self-righteous about how much she walks and works out and hints that if I wasn't so lazy, I could be thin like her too. Never mind that she was born with a very small frame, or that she smokes like a chimney. The message is that I'm "bad" because I'm not like her. What makes people like that? Anyway, fortunately she lives in another state and I only have to see her once or twice a year. I let my husband do all the corresponding with her by telephone. She and I have almost no relationship and it's sad. Oh well, you can't choose your in-laws. Kaye

09-18-2007, 09:45 AM	#10
Groovycadreamr Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: a really BIG cocoon! Posts: 4,723 Gallery: Groovycadreamr Stats: 258.7/249.8/130 WOE: Low Carbin' It Start Date: OH, No not again!!!	Just tell her that, your dh/her son, like you with "meat" on your bones. lol.

09-18-2007, 10:48 AM	#12
RavenG Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Fayetteville, PA Posts: 150 Gallery: RavenG Stats: 298/174.5/160 WOE: Atkins Start Date: June 2006	My ex-husband's grandmother was the meanest woman I've ever met in my life! She came to visit one year and walked into the house took one look at me and said she was going to lock me in the closet and feed me bread and water till I lost some weight. My response? Is that before or after I lock you in the closet and feed you Prozac till you get that stick out of your (insert word here!) She never said another word.

09-18-2007, 12:38 PM	#13
Melle's_Sweetheart Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 649 Gallery: Melle's_Sweetheart Stats: 330(319)/279/170 (21% bodyfat) WOE: Kamikaze Atkin's Start Date: Dec 1, 2003 (first time) May 28, 2007 (last time)	You're 140 lbs!!!!!!!! Why don't you tell her to go pluck herself?

09-18-2007, 03:24 PM	#15
Melle's_Sweetheart Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 649 Gallery: Melle's_Sweetheart Stats: 330(319)/279/170 (21% bodyfat) WOE: Kamikaze Atkin's Start Date: Dec 1, 2003 (first time) May 28, 2007 (last time)	I still would have taken the opportunity to tell her to pluck herself.

09-18-2007, 04:31 PM	#16
Determinedtolose Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Glendale, AZ Posts: 10,104 Gallery: Determinedtolose Stats: 243/197/160 or 150 WOE: Atkins/ mod Fat, mod pro, low carb/Stillmans Start Date: Start: 4/07. 5lbs by 12/2008, 150/160 by 4/09	You should your MIL, "correction dear MIL, your son likes his woman curvy with something to grab onto!" "Why do you think he married me!" Then watch her reaction.

09-18-2007, 04:48 PM	#17
ReneeD70 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: South Central Ohio Posts: 680 Gallery: ReneeD70 Stats: nunya :D WOE: low carb Start Date: 9-10-07	In my opinion..your HUSBAND should take issue with his mother offending his wife. If YOUR mom did that to your hubby I bet you'd tell her in a flat minute Well maybe, I know I would!

09-18-2007, 09:28 PM	#19
J-Sub Junior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 43 Gallery: J-Sub	Mybe i'm old school, but I feel it's your husband's place to put "Mother" in her place. He could and should take care of this issue pretty quick.

09-19-2007, 12:06 PM	#20
Mickey Lou Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Broomfield, Colorado Posts: 4,159 Gallery: Mickey Lou Stats: 267/>150<200/150 WOE: death to the marcupial pouch Start Date: Early Spring 2000; 100#off	Ah, the evils of marriage. My friend was just telling me a similar story, but it was over the "horror" of how late her baby took a nap one afternoon. Get A LIFE!

09-20-2007, 09:19 AM	#21
Susie Q Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 789 Gallery: Susie Q Stats: 165/140/135 WOE: Atkins by the Book	Thanks for all the great support guys!