How do you explain death to a 4yo?

Rubyred025 · 09-10-2007, 12:16 PM

We moved in with my DH 92 yo grandmother who has terminal cancer and isn't doing well. How do i explain to my 4 yo son that she is dying?

Tylar_Connar · 09-10-2007, 12:22 PM

I am not sure. But my uncle just died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. I have a four year old. We just told him that Uncle was sick and went to be with God in Heaven and that one day we will see him again. That we are sad that he is not here but he is happy and no longer sick and in heaven...nothing in depth because they really can not understand it.

What about searching for a book on death and reading it to him.

We did not take him to the funeral. He did go with us to the hospital when he was sick and to there house after he passed.

Criosa · 09-14-2007, 09:26 PM

I have 7 children, with the oldest almost 30 now, and have had lots of opportunities to discuss death with them. With the first one, I tried to make it sound wonderful, and how you don't have to worry about your body anymore, get to be with Jesus, stuff like that - to which she replied that she wished she could die! I had to back up and reexplain, turning a simple conversation into a complicated one. I think Tylar's advice is good, simple but reassuring.

Wolfpax24 · 09-21-2007, 07:52 AM

Hospice has wonderful books for kids, about dying. It helps explain in a way kids will get. At a later time, I will tell more about my own experiences, how we handled our situation, when our son (who was 24) died, and our daughter was 3 1/2.

momof5 · 09-21-2007, 08:37 AM

Hi
We had to deal with this subject at our church recently. A mother,her mother, and one of her children died in an car wreack. The little girl was really popular among all the sunday school classes. We asked a counceler for info on how to explain. She told us to be honest with the kids without details.
And to make sure we dont use terms like "they are asleep". Because that can cause a young child to fear going to sleep. I hope that helps.
God bless
Shelly

09-10-2007, 12:16 PM	#1
Rubyred025 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Malvern, PA Posts: 687 Gallery: Rubyred025 Stats: 240/236/135 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Oh Gosh lost count	How do you explain death to a 4yo? We moved in with my DH 92 yo grandmother who has terminal cancer and isn't doing well. How do i explain to my 4 yo son that she is dying?

09-10-2007, 12:22 PM	#2
Tylar_Connar Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 12,439 Gallery: Tylar_Connar Stats: 198177150 WOE: 27 lbs to go for now Start Date: 10/14/06-165, 11/23/07 180	I am not sure. But my uncle just died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. I have a four year old. We just told him that Uncle was sick and went to be with God in Heaven and that one day we will see him again. That we are sad that he is not here but he is happy and no longer sick and in heaven...nothing in depth because they really can not understand it. What about searching for a book on death and reading it to him. We did not take him to the funeral. He did go with us to the hospital when he was sick and to there house after he passed. Last edited by Tylar_Connar : 09-10-2007 at 12:24 PM.

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09-14-2007, 09:26 PM	#3
Criosa Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 552 Gallery: Criosa Stats: 240/192/150 - 5'10" WOE: Lower Carb/Organic when possilbe Start Date: original: 2/03 - restart: 3/07	I have 7 children, with the oldest almost 30 now, and have had lots of opportunities to discuss death with them. With the first one, I tried to make it sound wonderful, and how you don't have to worry about your body anymore, get to be with Jesus, stuff like that - to which she replied that she wished she could die! I had to back up and reexplain, turning a simple conversation into a complicated one. I think Tylar's advice is good, simple but reassuring.

09-21-2007, 07:52 AM	#4
Wolfpax24 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 487 Gallery: Wolfpax24 WOE: K.I.S.S. & C.O.T.S /I.F. Start Date: Each day a new beginning!	Hospice has wonderful books for kids, about dying. It helps explain in a way kids will get. At a later time, I will tell more about my own experiences, how we handled our situation, when our son (who was 24) died, and our daughter was 3 1/2.

09-21-2007, 08:37 AM	#5
momof5 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 154 Gallery: momof5 Stats: 235/235/140-5"2 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Jan 08 Re-start	Hi We had to deal with this subject at our church recently. A mother,her mother, and one of her children died in an car wreack. The little girl was really popular among all the sunday school classes. We asked a counceler for info on how to explain. She told us to be honest with the kids without details. And to make sure we dont use terms like "they are asleep". Because that can cause a young child to fear going to sleep. I hope that helps. God bless Shelly