my DH is crazy

[Texoma]

BACK STORY ---My DH has been doing well at Atkins. It was great eating the same and supporting each other. We went on vacation for a week and during the vacation and the next 2 weeks he is eating what he wants and being mindful of carbs about half the time. Well a couple days ago I had a talk with him about it. He has some convoluted idea that he is going to try moderate eating and semi low carb. Basically just watching his portions. So now I have to watch him drink frozen margaritas and eating cheesecake. I bring up the "moderate eating" plan (which is a crock) and he jokes that at least he isn’t eating two! I wish we could go back to doing this together because his wishy washy "plan" sticks.

ANYWAY...

We were at Sonic today for a Diet Dr. Pepper fix (it really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper! ) and he says he want something "good" like a cookie dough shake and I scowled at him. I said there is Diet Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Lemonade, and Diet Cherry Limeade. He complained that none of those things are good and said forget about it I don't want anything. Well a couple beats later he says something to the effect that he would rather have a his shakes and other fun stuff to be happy than be miserable for the rest of his life. I swear it sounded so dire and dramatic. I looked him straight in the eyes and said very slowly so your son, your wife, your family and God do not make you happy in life but a Cookie Dough Blast does? OMG I could barely say it because it is so absurd. I told him if that is what a Cookie Dough Blast does to you then you really need to acknowledge this insane emotional relationship with food. I was very calm and clear with him so hopefully it will sink in. My I am still laughing at the whole conversation.

After we left he tasted my diet Dr. Pepper and said It really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper. That is a new running joke around here. Good times, good times

[sugarless4life]

I think he got off easy .. I'd have socked him.

Doesn't that mentality of "I'd rather eat this and be happy instead of doing without and being miserable" just When people say that sort of thing to me, I just tell them when I ate that crap I *was* miserable!

Betty

[Diana]

Yep we have to teach our brains that. Change the way of thinking. If he really once one get some low carb ice cream, Davinchis syrups (They have a cookie dough) and enjoy a small portion

[lori121]

My sisters say that to me all the time. I feel so much better when I don't eat all that crap.

[mztags90]

Have to admit....I ate some cookie dough ice cream last night and got sick as a dog. Woke up and felt like I was hung over....I've been on maintenance for years and know better..................Today is the start of another day!

[nedn2lose]

Ughh!!! MEN!
Just wanted you to know you're not alone Texoma. I just wrote this very subject in my journal not 5 minutes ago. My DH started this with me appx. a month ago and has lost 15 lbs as of today. I'm happy for him but why is it he can slip up and have no~no's and still lose but let me try that and it balloons me back up to my starting weight and makes it a living he!! to get back down?
I LOVE how you told him THAT makes him happy but not his family,too dang funny girl!!!!

[tinatina]

I told him if that is what a Cookie Dough Blast does to you then you really need to acknowledge this insane emotional relationship with food. I was very calm and clear with him so hopefully it will sink in.


This is exactly what I tell my DH when I think he is being absurd about his health. (he's diabetic and so is ALL of his family) Good for you, I hope it sinks in.

[3shewolf8]

My husband used to say the same things!! Then about a month ago, he had to go into the hospital, was 450lbs, and diagnosed with type 2 diabetes!! Now, he doesn't eat sugar at all, watches his carbs, and decided being around for me and to see his kids graduate, and see our grandkids has been moved up over junk food. (for now)

[LadyJulieAnn]

Just another perspective here. What bothers you the most about his changes- the fact that he is no longer doing the plan with you, or the fact that he might be able to eat differently and still be successful? It sounds like he needs try it for himself to see how it works. If he really is miserable doing Atkins the strict way, then it won't last, even if it's what you want him to do.

In any case, best of luck for your continued success!

Julie

[gngr]

My best friend quit smoking with me back in Dec....and her DH put down the cig's as well....he went back to smoking like three months later...she was very upset and had the same reaction you did...now last month she went back to smoking!!!...Hmmm What does that say???

Yea it's harder when you DH does not partake in the journey and sometimes we get a little upset because they are letting us down, but it has to be our journey alone...yes...maybe? Right/wrong or indifferent...he was to want it on his own...

You know that old saying...."You can lead a horse to drink...and sometimes you have to DROWN IT!"

Hopefully, you won't end up like my girlfriend and give up the fight as well....stay in the game....please....it will be so worth it!

[LindaSue]

Originally Posted by LadyJulieAnn

Just another perspective here. What bothers you the most about his changes- the fact that he is no longer doing the plan with you, or the fact that he might be able to eat differently and still be successful? It sounds like he needs try it for himself to see how it works. If he really is miserable doing Atkins the strict way, then it won't last, even if it's what you want him to do.

That sounds like the plan my husband came up with these past few months. He pretty much eats the low carb meals that I cook but then takes PBJ sandwiches to work, has a bowl of cereal along with his low carb quiche and then has a huge bowl of ice cream every night. He's losing weight like crazy and he's down to the losest weight he's ever been since he was a teenager. What really burns me up is that even though he eats all that stuff, he can also choose to go all day without eating if he feels like it and doesn't get hungry. It's just not fair!

[fluliaflox]

"I told him if that is what a Cookie Dough Blast does to you then you really need to acknowledge this insane emotional relationship with food."

That's funny, I never would have thought of it that way, but whenever people ask me about my diet that is their usual argument, they would rather "eat what they want and be happy" than "restrict themselves and be miserable". If food is what makes or breaks your day, there are deeper underlying issues:-)

[lisabinil]

Baja Bob's makes a good sf margarita mixer if that helps you there.

[lowcarbette]

Originally Posted by Texoma

Well a couple beats later he says something to the effect that he would rather have a his shakes and other fun stuff to be happy than be miserable for the rest of his life ... I told him if that is what a Cookie Dough Blast does to you then you really need to acknowledge this insane emotional relationship with food. I was very calm and clear with him so hopefully it will sink in.

This makes me sad, reminding me of my entire life as an addict to food. It really, truly does feel like eating that one xyz(fill in the blank with your refined carb of choice) will make everything okay, and that if I don't get to eat that one xyz, nothing else really matters, as sad and pathetic as that is. It is an addiction, and I'd go so far as to say it's the devil's handiwork himself! I hope your DH can find his way back to LC and sanity!

[Texoma]

Originally Posted by LadyJulieAnn

Just another perspective here. What bothers you the most about his changes- the fact that he is no longer doing the plan with you, or the fact that he might be able to eat differently and still be successful? It sounds like he needs try it for himself to see how it works. If he really is miserable doing Atkins the strict way, then it won't last, even if it's what you want him to do.

In any case, best of luck for your continued success!

Julie

I would say part of me is miffed that he can do Atkins "his way" and still lose weight. But when he completely abandons Atkins he gains his weight back. I am more worried that he is on a slippery slope to stop thinking about his food choices. His family has a lot of diabetics in it and I really don't want him to get it which is why I feel like cracking that whip!

[Texoma]

Originally Posted by LindaSue

That sounds like the plan my husband came up with these past few months. He pretty much eats the low carb meals that I cook but then takes PBJ sandwiches to work, has a bowl of cereal along with his low carb quiche and then has a huge bowl of ice cream every night. He's losing weight like crazy and he's down to the losest weight he's ever been since he was a teenager. What really burns me up is that even though he eats all that stuff, he can also choose to go all day without eating if he feels like it and doesn't get hungry. It's just not fair!

I could live with that. I even bought him come Kashi cereal because he wanted cereal in the mornings. I want him to find a balance that he is comfortable with. It’s when he complains about not having food and talking about what he does want that really bothers me. I can admit partial responsibility for that one. Weekends are tough because I don't plan and cook meals. It is a more scrounge for food environment. He has gone from 223 to 203 and he says that he would like to get to 190. I want to do everything I can so that he will be successful.

[chixrule]

My boyfriend HATES vegetables, but he agreed to give Atkins 2 weeks. The first day, he did okay, but I don't think he ate any veggies. The next day, I got him to eat approximately 1/2 cup of broccoli. The third day we got in an argument over a salad. I finally told him that if he couldn't make a commitment to eat 2-3 cups of vegetables a day (without me having to force fed him) that this was not something he could do long term. He agreed and went back to his regular way of eating. Lots of bread and lots of potato chips. I'm upset with him because he really needs more vegetables in his diet AND I wanted him to stay on Atkins to support me. Now I'm surrounded by bread, chips and potatoes. Blah. I'm not tempted. Yet. Men suck.

[AriannaLovesYou]

I have had that exact conversation with the little devil that sits on my shoulder sooooo many times!!!!

[btinc]

Originally Posted by nedn2lose

Ughh!!! MEN! I'm happy for him but why is it he can slip up and have no~no's and still lose but let me try that and it balloons me back up to my starting weight and makes it a living he!! to get back down?

The metabolic rate - the rate at which the body burns calories - is partly determined by the amount of muscle we have. In general, the more muscle we have, the higher our metabolic rate; the less muscle we have, the lower our metabolic rate. This explains why men, who have a high proportion of muscle, have a faster metabolism than women, and why a 20-year-old has a higher metabolism than a 70-year-old - again, they have more muscle.



Ultimately, muscle burns a lot more calories than fat so when we lose muscle, our metabolic rate drops and we burn fewer calories. In fact, research shows that the body loses a proportionately high amount of muscle with a very low calorie intake and this may considerably suppress metabolism by up to 45 percent.



This explains why it's crucial to do as much as you can to protect your metabolic rate, especially when you're dieting. And this means dieting sensibly with a suitable, rather than a very low calorie intake so that you lose fat rather than muscle

[Mary McD]

You can only do your part for you – he has to do his part for him. Sometimes there comes a point when people don’t want to thnk about what they can have instead of what they really want and that makes them feel deprived because they can’t see how “just this one time” will lead to a total breakdown of the plan. So the only thing you can do is encourage him to stay on plan, but the more you do that, the more he might consider doing things his own way. Men are a different species than we are. Not a bad species, but different.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by LindaSue

That sounds like the plan my husband came up with these past few months. He pretty much eats the low carb meals that I cook but then takes PBJ sandwiches to work, has a bowl of cereal along with his low carb quiche and then has a huge bowl of ice cream every night. He's losing weight like crazy and he's down to the losest weight he's ever been since he was a teenager. What really burns me up is that even though he eats all that stuff, he can also choose to go all day without eating if he feels like it and doesn't get hungry. It's just not fair!

LindaSue it REALLY isn't fair!!!! My DH replaced his chips at lunch with a salad......still eats whatever else he wants (including desserts every night), and lost 10 lbs. Just decided he wanted to do it, and he's there!!!!

[Bogy_MN]

Originally Posted by chixrule

.....Men suck.

Ouch! I had to respond after I read that.
My wife and i are both doing Atkins, no hold on I know this is going to be hard to take but......
It was me (the husband) getting upset that she (the wife) wasn't following the plan.
Like so many of the treads going on today, it comes down to person responsibility and personal choice. We need to decide if we are upset with our spouse because we are worried about there health, or are we upset because the SOB is sitting next to me eating a cookie dough shake and then goes home and still looses 3 lbs? My guess is for most of us it is the latter.
If they're aren't ready to do it, it's not going to happen.
I didn't quit smoking until I decided for myself that I wanted to.... my wife won't stick to the plan until she decides she wants to.....the cookie dough shake is no different.
BTW Men kickA$$ and Fair doesn't mean equal

[wifezilla]

While I do agree with you Erich, there is that part where you are investing energy, time, effort and money in to your health, which is investing in your future together. When your partner DOES NOT make that kind of investment, you have to wonder if there are even going to BE THERE for you!

So when my husband says he can't live without bread, or eats a whole box of cheese nips in one sitting, or STARTS SMOKING...AGAIN...I just want to strangle him! Yesterday he came home for lunch and I volunteered to make him something. He said "I don't have time" and was just going to grab some handy garbage. I told him to sit down and be quiet, and proceeded to put together a big salad with leftover chicken, fresh tomatoes, jicama, spinach, and a lemon/vinegar dressing from scratch.

It took me just as long to make that as it it would have for him to grab 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a bunch of crackers.

Sure he has to really want it to make changes. Just don't tell me you can't because you don't have time. Be as stupid as you want. Just don't make me watch! LOL

[scmadm]

Originally Posted by Texoma

BACK STORY ---My DH has been doing well at Atkins. It was great eating the same and supporting each other. We went on vacation for a week and during the vacation and the next 2 weeks he is eating what he wants and being mindful of carbs about half the time. Well a couple days ago I had a talk with him about it. He has some convoluted idea that he is going to try moderate eating and semi low carb. Basically just watching his portions. So now I have to watch him drink frozen margaritas and eating cheesecake. I bring up the "moderate eating" plan (which is a crock) and he jokes that at least he isn’t eating two! I wish we could go back to doing this together because his wishy washy "plan" sticks.

ANYWAY...

We were at Sonic today for a Diet Dr. Pepper fix (it really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper! ) and he says he want something "good" like a cookie dough shake and I scowled at him. I said there is Diet Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Lemonade, and Diet Cherry Limeade. He complained that none of those things are good and said forget about it I don't want anything. Well a couple beats later he says something to the effect that he would rather have a his shakes and other fun stuff to be happy than be miserable for the rest of his life. I swear it sounded so dire and dramatic. I looked him straight in the eyes and said very slowly so your son, your wife, your family and God do not make you happy in life but a Cookie Dough Blast does? OMG I could barely say it because it is so absurd. I told him if that is what a Cookie Dough Blast does to you then you really need to acknowledge this insane emotional relationship with food. I was very calm and clear with him so hopefully it will sink in. My I am still laughing at the whole conversation.

After we left he tasted my diet Dr. Pepper and said It really does taste like regular Dr. Pepper. That is a new running joke around here. Good times, good times

What man would want to be married to a woman who can argue(discuss) like that??? He'd never win! Give me an emotional wreck who flies off the handle any day

Texoma....THAT was the way to get a point across.