I have a delayed child and I made it threw my first major crisis

kbetz0419 · 07-04-2007, 06:54 PM

Let me start by saying I'm new around here, and am looking for support and a way of getting things off my chest insted of emotional eating.
I have 4 kids, 8,5,3,1 my three and one year old are adopted,and are delayed. They are developmentaly about 1 and a half and 6 months old. We went to a family cook out at my best friends house tonight and my friends brother in law kept making mean comments behind our back. I handeled it nicely by making a comment to the whole group that " Nathan, my three year old has really come along way in his development, (kind of laughed), and then said but the therapist say in some ways hes like a one year old",Then I said
" Oh well I'm sure with some pateince and understanding he will catch up" I did this because for the most part Nathan looks like a typical child". I figured that the moron might shut up if he knew he has some issues. There is a diffrence between a child who misbehaves with parents that do not get involved enough, and a child who had been abused, has delays and whose parents are trying everything to make a differnce.

Ok now for my point, when my three year old took the ball back that was taken from him by this guys son,the guy called my son a nasty name and took off after him because his son was now crying. I jumped in the middle and grabed my son and left the area untill I was able to calm down.My husband missed the whole thing. Thank God! From what I was told every one gave this guy an ear full and when I stoped crying, I rejoined the group.( only my friend saw me crying) I so badly wanted to go home eat taco bell untill I pucked and cry. I told my self that there was only room for one grown up baby at the party and I better get used to people being this way. This was my second incouter with people thinking my kid is contagous or something.

I stayed another hour and when they brought the cake out I knew it was time to leave. It might have gotten ugly( The scale). I used the excuse of the kids being tired and excused my self.

Now I am on the computer and not eating.
I survived.

Trudi · 07-04-2007, 07:12 PM

Good girl! Been there, in the same boat. Too many times I've said, "Screw it! My life is stressful enough having special needs kids, I DESERVE this plate of nachos . . . " (or whatever). Guess what? It tasted good for the moment, didn't actually help, and now I'm wearing all those nachos on my butt.

I'm trying to find other self-indulgences that I can use -- practicing, "My life is stressful enough having special needs kids, I DESERVE this pedicure." or this trip to the bookstore. or this facial.

Sorry about the dorks at the party. It's tough figuring out what to do when somebody's an idiot --

Sarajewel · 07-04-2007, 07:28 PM

Good job! Every time you take the high road it gets easier and you get more skilled at handling the uglier sides of life. Be proud. You not only survived, you kept your dignity.

KOO · 07-04-2007, 07:37 PM

Great job handling the situation! You were able to make it through without giving in to the situation, well done!

kbetz0419 · 07-04-2007, 07:42 PM

Thanks, I needed to hear I was not wrong in staying and letting my kids enjoy the party.

kbetz0419 · 07-04-2007, 08:49 PM

I weighed myself tonight and I am weighing what I have weighed the last 2 weeks in the morning. I 'm sure I will see a drop in the morning. I sure am glad now that I didnt do any thing stupid tonight.

Come on wooooosh fairy, I need some magic!

Violet Skye · 07-04-2007, 08:55 PM

Your kids will develop to their full potential with devoted parents like you, but folks like that socially-stunted guy may never progress out of Jerkville. You handled the situation beautifully, and I am impressed that you didn't yield to the Taco Bell urges. ((((Big hugs!))))

hthompson001 · 07-05-2007, 06:12 AM

This guy sounds like a real winner...NOT!!! You were completely in the right. You left to calm down and it sounds like your friends stand behind you 100%. It takes a very special person to be a parent to a special needs child. This guy sounds like he never grew out of high school and preys on other peoples vulernabilities to make himself feel better about his miserable life. Great job not giving into the food monster...overtime it will become easier!! KUTGW

scandalouslyglam · 07-05-2007, 06:18 AM

Welcome!!!!! This is such a wonderful place to give/get support, information, vent, Moan and groan and brag!! You're really gonna like it here!

You are making a wonderful choice to control what goes into your mouth. Stress eating was a problem for me too...and I have only one child. Major KUDO'S to you!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

mrsdimples · 07-05-2007, 06:41 AM

Good job!!!! And Good Luck to you! The world needs more people like you!

kbetz0419 · 07-05-2007, 06:56 AM

Thank you all so much. I woke up this morning and the scale has droped down to 262-261( Its jumping). I was at a stand still for almost 2 weeks of 263. Today I still feel awfull. So remebering that I may have a woosh on the way will help today. It's hard to explain it if you have never experienced it. This also happened at the hospital in the pre op area. Another mother wouldnt let her child play with mine. All he was doing was playing at a train tabel.uggggh, I wish people would realize that the way they treat others is the way the childrn willg frow up and treat others.. They need to realize that dissabilities can happen to them their families and friends. Some one could be in a unfor accsident and could be injuried.

Confession time- Part of my weight gain back is due to me letting my mothers attitude about my 3 year old bother me. I had to cut all conections with her about a year and a half ago. She hasnt even seen my one year old. We live in the same town and run into each other sometimes. but she just storms off. We used to be close. She felt I should have choosen her fellings on adoption over my son who i had already been fostering. I think this is why that bothered me so much more last nigh because there are certain people in my friends family that have statrd treating me,husband and kids like famiy. I guess I need to realize that they are not my family and I need to be happy with my husband ,kids, and my father that isnt afraid of standing up to my mother.

Ok, SO here I am dumping on all of you perfect strangers, Not usually my thing. How can I put a twist on this so that I can stop the pitty party.
My hope is that some day some one wil come acrross this and may find strength to not return to their old ways of eating due to an emotional stresser they are having. If I can get threw it then so can you.

Thank you again for listening.

07-04-2007, 06:54 PM	#1
kbetz0419 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: moveing to wonderland ASAP Posts: 1,529 Gallery: kbetz0419 Stats: 5"7 -(310)280/280/170 WOE: LC foods and lots of water. No chemicals Start Date: Restart January,5,2008	I have a delayed child and I made it threw my first major crisis Let me start by saying I'm new around here, and am looking for support and a way of getting things off my chest insted of emotional eating. I have 4 kids, 8,5,3,1 my three and one year old are adopted,and are delayed. They are developmentaly about 1 and a half and 6 months old. We went to a family cook out at my best friends house tonight and my friends brother in law kept making mean comments behind our back. I handeled it nicely by making a comment to the whole group that " Nathan, my three year old has really come along way in his development, (kind of laughed), and then said but the therapist say in some ways hes like a one year old",Then I said " Oh well I'm sure with some pateince and understanding he will catch up" I did this because for the most part Nathan looks like a typical child". I figured that the moron might shut up if he knew he has some issues. There is a diffrence between a child who misbehaves with parents that do not get involved enough, and a child who had been abused, has delays and whose parents are trying everything to make a differnce. Ok now for my point, when my three year old took the ball back that was taken from him by this guys son,the guy called my son a nasty name and took off after him because his son was now crying. I jumped in the middle and grabed my son and left the area untill I was able to calm down.My husband missed the whole thing. Thank God! From what I was told every one gave this guy an ear full and when I stoped crying, I rejoined the group.( only my friend saw me crying) I so badly wanted to go home eat taco bell untill I pucked and cry. I told my self that there was only room for one grown up baby at the party and I better get used to people being this way. This was my second incouter with people thinking my kid is contagous or something. I stayed another hour and when they brought the cake out I knew it was time to leave. It might have gotten ugly( The scale). I used the excuse of the kids being tired and excused my self. Now I am on the computer and not eating. I survived. Last edited by kbetz0419 : 07-04-2007 at 07:47 PM.

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07-04-2007, 07:12 PM	#2
Trudi Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 199 Gallery: Trudi Stats: 222/197.5/110	Good girl! Been there, in the same boat. Too many times I've said, "Screw it! My life is stressful enough having special needs kids, I DESERVE this plate of nachos . . . " (or whatever). Guess what? It tasted good for the moment, didn't actually help, and now I'm wearing all those nachos on my butt. I'm trying to find other self-indulgences that I can use -- practicing, "My life is stressful enough having special needs kids, I DESERVE this pedicure." or this trip to the bookstore. or this facial. Sorry about the dorks at the party. It's tough figuring out what to do when somebody's an idiot --

07-04-2007, 07:28 PM	#3
Sarajewel Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Central NY Posts: 5,364 Gallery: Sarajewel Stats: 236/176/148 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 5/03-10/03 (Got pregnant!), restart 1/19/07	Good job! Every time you take the high road it gets easier and you get more skilled at handling the uglier sides of life. Be proud. You not only survived, you kept your dignity.

07-04-2007, 07:37 PM	#4
KOO Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 10,153 Gallery: KOO Stats: Starting 183..Now 155..First goal 140...TBD	Great job handling the situation! You were able to make it through without giving in to the situation, well done!

07-04-2007, 07:42 PM	#5
kbetz0419 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: moveing to wonderland ASAP Posts: 1,529 Gallery: kbetz0419 Stats: 5"7 -(310)280/280/170 WOE: LC foods and lots of water. No chemicals Start Date: Restart January,5,2008	Thanks, I needed to hear I was not wrong in staying and letting my kids enjoy the party.

07-04-2007, 08:49 PM	#6
kbetz0419 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: moveing to wonderland ASAP Posts: 1,529 Gallery: kbetz0419 Stats: 5"7 -(310)280/280/170 WOE: LC foods and lots of water. No chemicals Start Date: Restart January,5,2008	I weighed myself tonight and I am weighing what I have weighed the last 2 weeks in the morning. I 'm sure I will see a drop in the morning. I sure am glad now that I didnt do any thing stupid tonight. Come on wooooosh fairy, I need some magic!

07-04-2007, 08:55 PM	#7
Violet Skye MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Montreal Posts: 2,478 Gallery: Violet Skye Stats: 219.4/217.4/133 WOE: Weight Watchers Momentum Start Date: December 23, 2008	Your kids will develop to their full potential with devoted parents like you, but folks like that socially-stunted guy may never progress out of Jerkville. You handled the situation beautifully, and I am impressed that you didn't yield to the Taco Bell urges. ((((Big hugs!))))

07-05-2007, 06:12 AM	#8
hthompson001 Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 166 Gallery: hthompson001 Stats: 170/154.4/125 WOE: Low Carb...Low Cal Start Date: Restart- 6/12/07	This guy sounds like a real winner...NOT!!! You were completely in the right. You left to calm down and it sounds like your friends stand behind you 100%. It takes a very special person to be a parent to a special needs child. This guy sounds like he never grew out of high school and preys on other peoples vulernabilities to make himself feel better about his miserable life. Great job not giving into the food monster...overtime it will become easier!! KUTGW

07-05-2007, 06:18 AM	#9
scandalouslyglam MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Portland, Me Posts: 1,740 Gallery: scandalouslyglam Stats: 226/209/195 Long term goal 175 WOE: Atkins Start Date: September 1, 2007	Welcome!!!!! This is such a wonderful place to give/get support, information, vent, Moan and groan and brag!! You're really gonna like it here! You are making a wonderful choice to control what goes into your mouth. Stress eating was a problem for me too...and I have only one child. Major KUDO'S to you!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

07-05-2007, 06:41 AM	#10
mrsdimples Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lafayette, IN Posts: 213 Gallery: mrsdimples Stats: 221/168/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 3, 2005	Good job!!!! And Good Luck to you! The world needs more people like you!

07-05-2007, 06:56 AM	#11
kbetz0419 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: moveing to wonderland ASAP Posts: 1,529 Gallery: kbetz0419 Stats: 5"7 -(310)280/280/170 WOE: LC foods and lots of water. No chemicals Start Date: Restart January,5,2008	Thank you all so much. I woke up this morning and the scale has droped down to 262-261( Its jumping). I was at a stand still for almost 2 weeks of 263. Today I still feel awfull. So remebering that I may have a woosh on the way will help today. It's hard to explain it if you have never experienced it. This also happened at the hospital in the pre op area. Another mother wouldnt let her child play with mine. All he was doing was playing at a train tabel.uggggh, I wish people would realize that the way they treat others is the way the childrn willg frow up and treat others.. They need to realize that dissabilities can happen to them their families and friends. Some one could be in a unfor accsident and could be injuried. Confession time- Part of my weight gain back is due to me letting my mothers attitude about my 3 year old bother me. I had to cut all conections with her about a year and a half ago. She hasnt even seen my one year old. We live in the same town and run into each other sometimes. but she just storms off. We used to be close. She felt I should have choosen her fellings on adoption over my son who i had already been fostering. I think this is why that bothered me so much more last nigh because there are certain people in my friends family that have statrd treating me,husband and kids like famiy. I guess I need to realize that they are not my family and I need to be happy with my husband ,kids, and my father that isnt afraid of standing up to my mother. Ok, SO here I am dumping on all of you perfect strangers, Not usually my thing. How can I put a twist on this so that I can stop the pitty party. My hope is that some day some one wil come acrross this and may find strength to not return to their old ways of eating due to an emotional stresser they are having. If I can get threw it then so can you. Thank you again for listening.