I am seeing alot of my sisters and brother for first time in 11 years

[Canadianjanie]

They don't know how large I am. Bad enough I was the "Black sheep" of the family and I am still the one struggling to make ends meet every month....
I Habe an autistic son with juevinile diabetes and up till now i just never thought i would have to deal with them( siblings). The one and only thing i had on all of them was my size..I was never large around a size 8-10 until 2002 when all hell broke loose /thyroid messed up my eating went out of control.. I smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day..and of course out of 7 siblings i was the only smoker... I quit smoking 3 years ago...my one sister bought flight tickets for the poor ones..( me and my one other sister) whom i don't classify as poor coz my other sister gave her a house... so no mortgage for her..anyhow i am rambling coz this is causing me no end of distress... they said its important that we do this even if its the last time we are all together ..i would have been the spoiler if i had said i'm not going....I started freaking out last night telling my husband i'm gonna have to tighten this diet up and how much did he think i could lose in 20 days... he said.. You're actually gonna diet on your Diet... See just rereading this i am bawling ...I don't even have decent clothes to take to BC nor a suitcase... they are all seasoned world travellersand most hang around with each other. Then theres the topics that will come up as the only thing we have in common is our childhoods.. and of course being the black sheep ..doesn't bode well for me...
sorry guys just needed to rant a bit
peace
Janie

[gotogirl]

So sorry to hear about your distress. I bet your siblings have matured some in the last 11 years and maybe they won't be so hard on you. You're right to go, though. Just hold your head high and concentrate on them, not you, when you get there.
Best of luck and a big virtual hug.

[Canadianjanie]

thank you gotogirl. I will..my husband said i should maybe phone first to let them know not to be shocked...but my one sister told me not to call the BC siblings as its a surprise for them to see all 7 sisters come theere as we live so very far away from each other...so yea are they ever gonna be surprised lol..maybe to sur[prised to say anything......it felt good just to vent that out this morning..im gonna be fine...i was35 last i saw them...

[Purple Sage]

You will probably be surprised by how some of them look too.....you may discover they are as nervous as you are. Just focus on reconnecting not obsessing about how you look.

[ixtapacheryl]

You know what - I'll bet none of them will be as you remembered them ..... I agree - concentrate on having a good time catching up. They will be so happy to see you - and if they have some disparging remarks to make, just move on. I still feel you will be surprised at what a great time you will have.

[scrappychik]

This too shall pass! I find that the anticipation of something is usually way worse than the actual event. Hope your visit is a pleasant one We're here for ya!

[speedymagee]

I agree with what everyone said.
I'm also the black sheep, it totally sucks!
How about treating yourself to a new outfit that looks fabulous on you? It might help your confidence.
Hold your head high and hopefully you'll even have some fun.

[Lehgrad]

Don't stress. Easier said than done, but there is nothing you can do about it now and stressing isn't helping. I'm sure it is much worse in your mind than in theirs. If some of them showed up a lot heavier would you care?
And, if they do, how is that going to affect your life? Put that worry to rest and focus on other things.

[susume]

This is all good things to say and all true. Things change and so do people. Just try to be friendly, you are there for a reunion - to connect and talk about the past and maybe future and how things are going. If they are not going so good just try to make the best talk about how it is. Not go on and on but just truthfull and honest. It has been a long time and might be a long time till you see them again and some of them might not be there next time. That`s some of what getting together is about and for. And to connect to our relatives is suppose to be fun and a good thing. I am sure some of them are nervous about it but everyone is going to just try and be happy and friendly and glad to have had a sometimes once and a life time get together. Just do it. Just keep eating the way you are, if you try to do it big you might just fall off. It`s stressfull enought for you right now. Just keeping off the weight you have lost is a big thing if you are like me. Just enjoy this event. It might not be the way you want it, but it`s the way it is. Lot`s of peeps go through things like this. I know if I had a family reunion I would be worrying about the same thing and also that I am the only one without a life to talk about. That`s a biggy. Sue Really, have fun!

[toogood]

This really isn't about weight is it? I think the weight is just an excuse. What bothers you is if they will really accept you and finally love you for who you are. You know who you are on the inside. Don't let the outside dictate on how you should feel and be treated. The outside is only temporary. You're in a cocoon right now. I believe you will emerge as the butterfly you were always meant to be. You can't control how others will react to you. However, you can control how you will react to yourself. Best of luck, you will be okay.

[fawn]

Hold your head high and start with loving yourself. The rest will fall into place. Be confident. Don't let the past affect your present.
You ARE beautiful and you ARE more valuable than you are feeling right now.
If you go to this event with negative feelings it will be negative. If you show up holding your head high looking forward to putting things behind you and maybe getting to know these people on a different level, it can be a positive experience. 11 years is a LONG time for growth. You can do this.

[Canadianjanie]

you all are so great... and it is about more than weight ..i agree...thanks for all your support..
Janie