Women are flirting with my husband...

[maggieb43]

This is just a rant. Anybody have this happen?

DH has joined me in the low-carb lifestyle and I am thrilled (for a lot or reasons). Lately, we've been eating out more (steak and seafood) and with the holidays and all, just generally been more social than usual.

My husband is tall and goodlooking, lucky me...but lately, seems like women are flirting all over the place...EVEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I find it really irksome. He is a really sweet, friendly guy but he isn't inviting this attention, it just happens. Plus, he doesn't really see it for what it is, he's pretty humble, doesn't know how attractive he is (which of course I love). I don't make a big deal out of it but it just annoys me, especially when these women act as though I'm not even there. The waitress in the restaurant last nite was all flirty with my husband--never even made eye contact with ME. Grrr...

At his office Christmas party I was amazed how many women came up to him all smiles and touched him in some way (some even kissed him). Funny, I don't kiss the men I work with.

Was back in my old hometown, had dinner with an old friend and her boyfriend and even SHE was all flirty with my sweetie, and kissed him at the end of the evening (she's met him maybe twice). It was my first time meeting her boyfriend but I had no inclination whatsoever to kiss HIM!

DH got a low-carb wrap from Subway the other day. I sat in the car but I saw the counter girl all giggly and when I asked him about it he said she said "oh have a cookie," he said "no thanks, but they look good," and of course when he opened the bag, she had slipped 2 free cookies in there. This kind of crap happens a lot, it seems. Doesn't happen to me, lol.

Heck, even my mom "flirts" with him, and my sister-in-law, who says "he's SO cute."

It's not that I'm worried, I trust my husband implicitly. (He thinks it's all in my head anyway, which is good, don't want him to get all cocky). It's not that I'm jealous of the attention, either. I just think it's inappropriate that these women apparently have no respect (for me). Knock it off, ladies.

Ok, I feel better. (Yes, yes, I know, I get to go home with him...and no, I don't make him feel like it's his fault or anything. In fact, I USUALLY don't say anything to him. As I said, he doesn't need to get a big head, lol.)

[GApeach23]

Not to make light of the situation, but did you ever watch King of Queens, same thing happened to Carrie's husband Doug when he lost alot of weight low-carbing...........it was funny to watch but wouldn't be funny if it happened to me I guess.

Women have always flirted with my DH, he has never had a weight problem, he is tall, dark and handsome, some say he looks like Tom Sellack (younger version), so I've dealt with that for 15 years, it does tick me off at times though.

[TexasKitKat]

I can understand how you feel. My DH is VERY handsome and is a handyman for crying out loud! In all these "single women on the prowl'" homes ALL day long! (no offense to all singles in here....I KNOW you're not ALL like that!) If I didn't trust him implicitly he would have to find a different line of work!

EDITED TO REMOVE MOST OF POST

[CarolinaRocker]

You trust him...thats all that matters. If you start dictating how he is supposed to act around other women, he will resent it, he may not let on to you that he does...but he will.

I bet he has a good handle on it already He certainly cant control how other people act. He sounds like a likeable guy and people including women gravitate towards those people.

I'd be ticked off if I didnt get free cookies

[maggieb43]

KitKat, lol, I'm a flight attendant and my husband is Air Force aircrew, lol! (The flight attendant "reputation" isn't a good one, but most of the gals (and guys, lol) I fly with are professionals...)

I think you misunderstood my post, I really was just complaining about the women hitting on my hubby, lol. Look, my husband knows how I feel, but as I said I don't make a big deal out of it. He isn't flirty, only friendly, does NOT encourage this behavior, it just happens. (Unfortunately, some women consider a SMILE encouragement, lol.) It's not his fault and I don't want him feeling like he has to tippy toe around people when I'm present, it will just make him feel uncomfortable, and I don't want that.

DH jokes that I probably get hit on as a flight attendant "all the time." Well, occasionally, but I try to maintain as professional a demeanor as possible, and even when I was single I didn't flirt with married men, (or even the single ones, actually), ESPECIALLY when their wives were sitting right there!! Anyway, men don't hit on me in front of HIM because he is 6'3" and 220 lbs, lol!!

Look, I'm not a totally insecure, jealous harpy. It doesn't threaten my marriage in any way, (I love and trust him and he loves and trusts me), I just find it annoying, ya know?

Thanks for your input, though.

[TexasKitKat]

Sorry if I misunderstood you. That being the case I have deleted most of what I said.

[lippi]

i think i need to see a picture before i can tell you what i think about all this.
j/k

itd bother me too maybe, especially if i was standing right there when someone flirts with him, but since you said he seems kinda oblivious about it all, i wouldnt worry about it. sometimes women arent too bright.

[fawn]

Maggie
I can relate. My DH is friendly and talks a lot...And I happen to think he's pretty cute...this happens to us as well. It amazes me how many women out there are flirty.....Remember the old days of the cat calls from Men??? That's definitely changed.....women can be such hussies sometimes!

I'd draw the line at the free cookies

[CarolinaRocker]

Originally Posted by lippi

i think i need to see a picture before i can tell you what i think about all this.
j/k

[CarolinaRocker]

double post!

[SugarFreeSheila]

Be happy your husband has such charisma - it's an extremely rare trait.

[Cathlena]

I would try a few tactic moves when you are noticing this kind of thing...stand a little closer to him, give him a big hug, grab his hand to hold, and give a hard look right into the gals eyes before they touch or start flirting wtih him...

Hold your own..if you look like you are really laid back when they come around, they will move in...if you look like you are a "strong" woman and give them that glance/glare they won't even bother....

There is no reason for other women touching/kissing your man...They are definitely disrespecting you and do not feel threatened by you in anyway....stand tough & pleasant at the same time..

[KarbieGrl]

I have had this problem for YEARS. Once we were at a local pub having a drink after work. He was standing at the corner of the bar, I went to the ladies room. When I got back there were 2 really attractive girls, one on either side of him. They had their arms around him were all giggling and he was grinning from ear to ear. As I was walking up, one of them started pulling his shirt out from his pants. I said "EXCUSE ME!?!?!" They both said in unison "Who are YOU?!?" I looked at him and then he said "This is my wife." One said "Too bad - this could have been the night of your life." and then they walked away. I looked at him and he said "What - I didn't do anything. I was just standing here and they walked up and wanted to know if they could kiss my nipples while I was standing up (he is really tall) and I told them no. They were going to try and thank god you showed up." Trust me - he didn't look like he was THANKING GOD when I walked up. We have never returned to that little pub.


...I wasn't doing anything...

[maggieb43]

...both men and women like my husband. He's just a really good guy.

DH does NOT encourage this behavior. Years ago, before we met, the wife of a co-worker accused him of hitting on her at a party. Her husband confronted him and when my husband denied it, he said "you calling my wife a liar?" dh said "no, but I think she may have misunderstood, she's had quite a bit to drink." Fortunately, there were other people present who said "It didn't happen," so the guy backed off. (Later on the husband apologized to dh, saying "She admits she was trying to get my attention, make me jealous." They have since divorced, big surprise.) Anyway, that experience has made him VERY leery and careful.

By the by, I'm glad I don't get free cookies---cuz I'd EAT THEM.

[CarolinaRocker]

a kiss on the cheek is considered an appropriate greeting. I kind of like it myself. how come more guys dont do that???

[maggieb43]

I don't know how to do the "quote" thing? I don't think a kiss on the cheek is appropriate when you don't know the person VERY WELL. Makes ME uncomfortable...Am I too uptight, lol?!

[KarbieGrl]

I think a kiss on the cheek is appropriate if you know someone VERY well, or are related.

I would never dream of kissing a coworker on the cheek. No Way. NEVER!
(Perhaps I am a bit of a germ-a-phobic.)

[sbarr]

Kiss on the cheek depends - when I was in Europe, you did it with business associates after the second greeting if you were comfortable with them.

In fact, the first day I met my g'friend's new boyfriend (he's Irish), I extended my hand and also did the "air kiss/cheek touch". That said, I wouldn't do it to an American unless I was very friendly. And, you don't KISS - you touch cheeks. I made that mistake a few times when I first started living in Europe...

[CarolinaRocker]

I think Im just old and mellow...alot of things dont get to me too much anymore.

What is a person to do if a cheek kisser comes in close for a kiss? Push them away, lean way back? Or just take it like a man

I think the kisser should know the kissee well if there is going to be any cheek kissing going on....strangers need to knock it off. I have known guy friends who have kissed me on the cheek...nothing more than a polite hello. I liked it.

[maggieb43]

...remember the "Friends" episode where Rachel thinks the guy she just interviewed with is going to kiss her...and she kisses him and he is like Hilarious!!

[CarolinaRocker]

yes I remember that.

I remember when a guy I was kinda seeing who lived in Germany came for a visit....slapping asses was considered OK in Germany...but when he slapped my friends ass...I was freakin MAD! and so was she!

but I was big back then and she was hot....I think that might have had something to do with my anger

[lippi]

for the most part, i dont think kisses on the cheek are inappropriate. i favor cheek kisses to handshakes (my hands are always clammy, lol). i think theyre a great greeter. though it depends on the person too, most people im meeting are friends of friends, family, etc and i wouldnt cheek kiss everyone.

you had said that the women who cheek-kissed your husband were his coworkers~ to give them the benefit of the doubt, they do work with him 8 hours a day, no? so theyd know him pretty well.

go cheek kisses!!!!!

[maggieb43]

Hot girlfriends suck. I remember reading on ivillage advice for women from a male columnist--"Don't ask your bf, dh if he thinks your girlfriend is hot--the answer is yes, and he would 'do' her...if he wasn't with you, of course, lol." Moral of the story: don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, lol.

[maggieb43]

Most of those women don't work with him daily (thank God, lol, now that I think about it), hard to explain--he's Air Force--and some were the WIVES of co-workers. I think Carolinarocker hit the nail on the head--he's very likeable (as well as good-looking, lol).

Look, I'm crazy about him--I can half understand other women finding him attractive as well. Just wish they weren't so...you know what I mean.

[lippi]

oh. my bad.
and ooo la la, a man in uniform. that explains a lot. lol

[Samantha42]

Originally Posted by lippi

i think i need to see a picture before i can tell you what i think about all this.
j/k

itd bother me too maybe, especially if i was standing right there when someone flirts with him, but since you said he seems kinda oblivious about it all, i wouldnt worry about it. sometimes women arent too bright.

LOL I was thinking that too.... I wanna see a pic of all your cute husbands!!!

[maggieb43]

Oh Lord, in his flight suit and sunglasses...yum.

My neighbor is in her 70's and she told me, "you're a lucky girl--wow." (I think her husband is a little in love with ME cuz when she had knee surgery I cooked a few things for them he said were "incredible." (And he cannot get over the fact that I do yardwork, lol.) Cuz after all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach lol.

[Goldenrod]

Originally Posted by maggieb43

KitKat, lol, I'm a flight attendant and my husband is Air Force aircrew, lol!

Me too, me too! (Air Force aircrew, that is!)

I read your post when you said the women you were referring to were not his co-workers, but *wives* of his co-workers, so this doesn't necessarily apply, but I thought I'd share anyway...

I work with mostly men. There are a few women in my "shop," but in my particular specialty, there are just 2 women, including me. I'm surrounded by guys all day. Some are married, some are in relationships, some are single. I flirt with all of them like crazy, and have been for years, but it is understoood BY ALL OF US that it is just in fun. Something to make the work day less miserable. We have the utmost respect for each other, and in my case, for their wives. In fact, I have gone out of my way to spend time with their wives and become friends with them, so there isn't any "weirdness." At this point, I've worked with them for so long, that I'm really just "one of the guys." Practically asexual, LOL.

In fact, I think I actually flirt *more* with the married guys than with the single ones, because it's "safe." They're married, and OFF LIMITS. It's just in jest, and makes us smile while we pass the time in a horrid little building with no windows! (Secure facility, blah blah blah...)

As for someone who mentioned the flight suit...it can go either way. If a guy is very fit, and very handsome, it looks GOOOOD. If not, those things are NOT very forgiving, LOL! I work with plenty of men (and women) who should just give up and admit they need a bigger size...