Would you speak up in this situation?

speedymagee · 10-24-2006, 11:01 AM

At a family get together last week and the relatives I was sitting with started discussing some other relatives and their weight problems.

EX: Have you seen the fat hanging off So and so?
What about the #ss on her?

I was so completely uncomfortable I couldn't speak. They were mean and I believe in what Thumper said, 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'
Afterwards I thought I should have pointed out THEIR weight problems, but that would be rude!! And 2 rudes don't make a right.....

I would like to mention that I have gained 4 pounds staying with them ( amazing because I usually gain 10-15) LC works!! So maybe I just am hypersensitive to perceived criticism??
Would you say something if you were in that situation?

Dreams · 10-24-2006, 11:07 AM

No not really. Only because people don't change. You'd be wasting your time. Just know you're the better person for not engaging in such childish behavior.

LStoner · 10-24-2006, 11:16 AM

You did the right thing. Be proud of yourself for being the more mature person.

Denise85 · 10-24-2006, 12:03 PM

I would have kept my mouth shut too. It probably would have just started an arguement.

relentless · 10-24-2006, 12:05 PM

I personally would have said something to them. When we are silent in the face of this kind of crap, it gives license for the conversations like this to continue. If you say something in the future, doesn't have to be nasty or anything, hopefully it will make them think twice about speaking so rudely again.

If they continue, just tell them you don't want to be part of that conversation.

BlueBrooke · 10-24-2006, 11:47 PM

"I think it's wonderful that you are so concerned about her! Do you have any positive suggestions I can pass on to her? She'll be thrilled to know how thoughtful you are."

speedymagee · 10-25-2006, 10:06 AM

Thanks to everyone who responded.

I really like your idea BlueBrooke! I'll be sure to remember it for next time.

Valentine Baby · 10-30-2006, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueBrooke

"I think it's wonderful that you are so concerned about her! Do you have any positive suggestions I can pass on to her? She'll be thrilled to know how thoughtful you are."

I was going to say I would have said nothing but they would have noted the blank and unemotionless look on my face. But I like the above response much better!

Purple Sage · 11-01-2006, 07:58 AM

I think I would have just said "I really would like to turn this conversation to something more constructive...have you heard how great so and sos life is right now?"

peanutte · 11-17-2006, 12:42 PM

I would have said "My goodness, why would you say such a mean-spirited and petty thing?" Not in an angry tone but in a mildly surprised tone.

When you call people out on their bad behavior publicly, they tend to back down.

10-24-2006, 11:01 AM	#1
speedymagee MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 1,667 Gallery: speedymagee Stats: highest176/now145/goal for 2nd challenge 135 WOE: BFL Week 2	Would you speak up in this situation? At a family get together last week and the relatives I was sitting with started discussing some other relatives and their weight problems. EX: Have you seen the fat hanging off So and so? What about the #ss on her? I was so completely uncomfortable I couldn't speak. They were mean and I believe in what Thumper said, 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.' Afterwards I thought I should have pointed out THEIR weight problems, but that would be rude!! And 2 rudes don't make a right..... I would like to mention that I have gained 4 pounds staying with them ( amazing because I usually gain 10-15) LC works!! So maybe I just am hypersensitive to perceived criticism?? Would you say something if you were in that situation?

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10-24-2006, 11:07 AM	#2
Dreams Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philly Posts: 22,926 Gallery: Dreams Stats: Shrinking WOE: I'll let ya know when I figure it out	No not really. Only because people don't change. You'd be wasting your time. Just know you're the better person for not engaging in such childish behavior.

10-24-2006, 11:16 AM	#3
LStoner Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: East Central, IL Posts: 303 Gallery: LStoner Stats: 252/199/135-150 first big goal is 170. WOE: My own Start Date: 12/15/05	You did the right thing. Be proud of yourself for being the more mature person.

10-24-2006, 12:03 PM	#4
Denise85 Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Chicago burbs Posts: 21,978 Blog Entries: 11 Gallery: Denise85 Stats: 261/141/140-5'5" WOE: Dietician's plan	I would have kept my mouth shut too. It probably would have just started an arguement.

10-24-2006, 12:05 PM	#5
relentless Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cambridge, MA Posts: 586 Gallery: relentless Stats: 204/164/160 old 192/192/160 new WOE: low carb Start Date: 1/05	I personally would have said something to them. When we are silent in the face of this kind of crap, it gives license for the conversations like this to continue. If you say something in the future, doesn't have to be nasty or anything, hopefully it will make them think twice about speaking so rudely again. If they continue, just tell them you don't want to be part of that conversation.

10-24-2006, 11:47 PM	#6
BlueBrooke MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,050 Gallery: BlueBrooke	"I think it's wonderful that you are so concerned about her! Do you have any positive suggestions I can pass on to her? She'll be thrilled to know how thoughtful you are."

10-25-2006, 10:06 AM	#7
speedymagee MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 1,667 Gallery: speedymagee Stats: highest176/now145/goal for 2nd challenge 135 WOE: BFL Week 2	Thanks to everyone who responded. I really like your idea BlueBrooke! I'll be sure to remember it for next time.

11-01-2006, 07:58 AM	#9
Purple Sage Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 6,609 Gallery: Purple Sage Stats: 256/148/150 exercising now: 6-08, 159 WOE: Random, watcing calories and exercise Start Date: January 1, 2005	I think I would have just said "I really would like to turn this conversation to something more constructive...have you heard how great so and sos life is right now?"

11-17-2006, 12:42 PM	#10
peanutte MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,814 Gallery: peanutte	I would have said "My goodness, why would you say such a mean-spirited and petty thing?" Not in an angry tone but in a mildly surprised tone. When you call people out on their bad behavior publicly, they tend to back down.