How do you know if you need meds for depression or anxiety?

silkandsand · 09-21-2006, 09:40 AM

I am in the middle of a heartbreaking crisis in my life involving my 15 y.o. dd and it's taking it's toll. She lives with her father and says she hates me. I'm a good mother and I love my children very much and I've done my best in this situation with her but she says I am to blame for everything wrong in her life. I know this is ridiculous, but it's still taking its toll.

I'm trying to be upbeat and "there" for my family but I am just so sad. Everything feels overwhelming right now, including getting dressed or making phonecalls.

I'm having heart palps which I can control with breathing and I'm having trouble sleeping or thinking about anything else. I feel sad and on edge and cry pretty easily. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone outside my family. Should I look into getting on antideppressants? Or just hang in there?

MistyLoo · 09-21-2006, 09:57 AM

Kristina, I could have written your post. I went through the same thing with my then 15 yo DD last spring. She even moved out of the house to live with friends. Things are somewhat better now (she's home) but she still occasionally says she hates me and still ALWAYS blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life.

And yes, I went on antidepressants. Mainly for the sleeplessness and palps. Best thing I ever did for myself.

Talk to your Doc, depression is nothing to be ashamed of, nor should it be ignored.

Just remember your DD will have a 15 yo DD of her own someday.

silkandsand · 09-21-2006, 10:12 AM

MistyLoo, thank you.

I feel like I must be the worst mom in the world to have a child who has turned against us this much. Its staggering.

And now...getting to the dr for meds sounds like an impossible task.

Is there an alternative to meds? I am praying...writing, too. Breathing.

Thanks for making me laugh when I read that about her having a 15 year old daughter of her own someday.

MistyLoo · 09-21-2006, 03:52 PM

Kristina hun, if you were the world's worst Mom, you wouldn't give a flip what your DD thought of you! Mine has stood up and called me the most awful names and totally treated me like crap. I think it is their hormones, trying to pull away from the ole apron strings, and wanting to grow up, but being afraid to. They use us as whipping boys for every mean thing anyone has EVER said or done to them.

And believe me teenage girls can be cruel to each other!

See if you can find some OTC Melatonin. It helps replace seratonin and you should be able to sleep. I read on another thread some people have nightmares using this, but I never have. Do a search for Melatonin and read that thread.

silkandsand · 09-21-2006, 04:08 PM

Thanks MistyLoo. I'll look into melatonin. My dh is being very loving and supportive. Thank God.

Is your dd still acting out?

Mine doesn't even want to speak to me. She said she doesn't even want me to be a part of her life.

I think I may have to go on antidepressants. This just feels like way too much to deal with right now. I can't stop crying, I can barely get dressed. Brushing my hair today was beyond me.

The phone rings and I don't want to answer it and if someone is at the door I want to run and hide. It's beyond my control, I think.

kellysue24 · 09-21-2006, 04:45 PM

I was just reading the supplement 5HTP has been proven to help with depression...Do a google search on it. There is alot of information about it out there on it. Cheaper than an RX.

silkandsand · 09-21-2006, 05:09 PM

Thanks, kellysue24. I'll see if my doc has any idea what that is since we're in Mexico. LOL Hopefully he will because I would rather try something milder.

MistyLoo · 09-21-2006, 05:41 PM

My DD still acting out..

yep, I'm just handling it better and not letting her know she is getting to me..Very hard to do but it takes the wind out of her sails. When she is hateful to me, I just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk off. I go in my bedroom, stew a bit, then shake it off.

She is graduating early (she just turned 16) and I'm ready for her to get a taste of reality. She will be starting college next fall in a town 45 miles from here. I sure hope she does some growing up before then.

This part of your post sounds exactly like me a few months ago:

"I think I may have to go on antidepressants. This just feels like way too much to deal with right now. I can't stop crying, I can barely get dressed. Brushing my hair today was beyond me. The phone rings and I don't want to answer it and if someone is at the door I want to run and hide. It's beyond my control, I think."

But it's not hopeless. Get some meds, talk to someone you trust, cry, scream, let it all out.

Then step back and tell yourself you are NOT going to be beaten by a 15 yo girl. Step back from her, be there if she calls but don't let your life get out of hand. At this age it's all about THEM and they cannot see the hurt and anger they cause other people, especially their parents.

My situation is different from yours in that mine lives at home, but when she told me to get out of her life, I just said "Alrighty then, if that's what you want." I gave her no rides to school, no spending money, no new clothes, didn't even set her a place at the table (if she wanted to eat she could get her own plate), if she left her plate on the table, it sat there for a week or until she washed it. I refused to sign school papers, buy supplies, well..you get the picture.

She lasted about 2 weeks.

And last spring when she moved out, I did the same. I gave the lady she was staying with money with the understanding it was to be used for to feed her only, no spending money whatsoever.

Oh and the meanest thing I did was put her cell phone on suspension, that really got to her.

Hang in there Sweetie, this too shall pass.

gettingstrength · 09-23-2006, 06:30 PM

Pcola Girl · 09-29-2006, 10:46 AM

When depression starts to effect your sleep and your everyday activity then you may need meds for it.

silkandsand · 09-30-2006, 03:51 PM

I'm now on Zoloft. 7 days now and I can tell a difference in my anxiety and my depression--it's not where I WANT to be but I can almost function normally again...almost. I couldn't handle the depression on my own. Someone from here also gave me good info about an herbal remedy that I plan to use when I come off of the Zoloft...but for right now I can't imagine surviving day to day without it. And with medication out there that can help I hope I never make myself suffer through this again. I'm still very low but not suicidal or zoned or sitting all day crying and and all night long tossing and turning reliving traumatic events in my life.

MistyLoo · 10-01-2006, 07:47 AM

I think the longer you stay on your meds, the more they benefit you. I know my doc said I would be feeling the full effect a couple of weeks after I started mine, and she was right. They have litterly changed my life. I'm

this will be your experience too, but if they stop working for you, don't hesitate to ask your doc to change your meds

I am so happy you are feeling better!

silkandsand · 10-01-2006, 09:39 AM

Thanks MistyLoo.

landis · 10-03-2006, 09:15 AM

Just wanted to add something here. If you only get the medicine (which I am on too by the way) you are dealing with the symptom 1/2 of this and not getting at the root of the problem which is probably much deeper. Please consider going to a good Christian counselor to help to resolve what is going on in you and in your daughter on the inside. I can't tell you how important this is. It is true that antipressants are necessary for people sometimes and God has literally saved my life through them! However, only when I started counseling did I truly being to work through pain and baggage that really put me on the road to true healing. I am told now that I have been on the anti-depressants for so long (12 years) that my body's chemistry may have changed and built up a sort of "dependence" on them and I may need them now for the rest of my life. I also had childhood depression so probably it was already there anyway). I am fine with that because I do know that I can function better for God WITH them than without.

I guess my point is that I am SO glad you got help with medicine. But PLEASE know that there is more to it. If you don't know where to find a good Christian counselor, ask your pastor or go to www.newlifelive.org Your daughter and you can experience healing that can help decrease the chance of future problems and lead you to a life of VICTORY like you would never believe!

silkandsand · 10-03-2006, 06:43 PM

Thanks, Sharon. You're right.

landis · 10-04-2006, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by silkandsand

Thanks, Sharon. You're right.

How are you doing?

silkandsand · 10-04-2006, 08:22 AM

I'm getting a little better. I'm not where I want to be but I'm not scaring myself anymore. My anxiety is slowly improving and the depression is not as heavy. I still feel very fragile.

I live in Mexico, but there are counselors here. In fact, one of my best friends is a therapist. She has told me I must release my daughter and stop giving her my power but in terms of practical application I'm not sure how that happens or what the next step is. I am a Christian and I know that God is with me and that the process is sometimes just as important as the desired outcome...it just hurts.

walkthebeach · 10-04-2006, 12:49 PM

Hi Kristina
The hardest thing as a mom is to release your kids to their own devices... but you must, to some extent (speaking of a 15yr old). Keep tabs on what she's up to, sure, but to function and be of service to yourself and the rest of your family, YOU have to be able to function. I support your taking anti-depressants; they will be your tool in digging yourself out of the morass you're in right now. I had a falling out with a parent several years back and it threw me into a tailspin: panic attacks, sleeplessness, worthlessness etc. I had to go on ADs; they helped me gain some perspective on the problem, a more philosophical attitude, if you will.... I also think you should get the counseling. It will help you evaluate your daughter's behavior better, sounds like she is being a totally unreasonalbe teenage girl (no surprise there-- I had one and I know how they can be!) and making feel really really bad in the process. Good luck, and you will be OK!

silkandsand · 10-05-2006, 11:34 AM

Thanks, walkthebeach. It is stunning to me how much this hurt, when I know she's being a 15 year old girl. The panic attacks are the worst! I am trying to stay in communication with my daughter but it's been very difficult since she doesn't want me in her life and we don't live together. If my reaction to her venom weren't so painful I could probably handle her rejection with more of a philosophical approach. I'm praying for that to be a result of the ADs. Today is day 11 and I am still not where I need to be for my family and myself. I was told it can take about 2 or 3 weeks...and one website on Zoloft said UP TO 8 WEEKS!!!!!!!

I know I need to get some counseling to help me deal with this.

Are things better for you with the parent you had a falling out with?

(((walkthebeach)))

I would very much like to be walking on a beach right now.

landis · 10-05-2006, 12:17 PM

Silksandsand,

Was just thinking of this. I am in an internship to become a Christian counselor and mentoring with one. She is leading a Rapha 12 step study/group for codependency. It is a little hard to find one but if you could find a church that does this I will just tell you it would be WONDERFUL for what you are going through. You have to realize that you are only responsible for yourself. You can GUIDE your children but you cannot force them to change or think a certain way and you can't FIX it! It sounds easy to do but sometimes where we come from has a lot to do with why we have a hard time doing it. That was definitely the case for me. I am NOT saying you are not to a degree responsible to do the best you can as a parent but her REACTION and what she chooses to do with your advice and God's guidance are for the most part simply up to her. That will be especially the case as she gets older. Anyway, if you cannot find a group, I will be glad to send you the book that you can work through yourself. It is better with a group because you can share and learn from each other but it is a workbook and if you read it all and are honest God really can work through it in a miraculous way! Just PM me if you want me to send this to you but only if you are willing to commit to being honest and work through it honestly and completely. Just saying that because like anything else, you will get out of it what you put into it. A lot of the ladies in our group are in the very same place as you are trying to let go of their children (some as old as 30's!) and this has been a miraculous healing tool for them as well as me.

walkthebeach · 10-06-2006, 08:19 PM

Hi Kristina,
Yeah, things are better with the family member. We're still wary of one another, but time heals all wounds, don't forget that. Especially since it's your daughter-- she'll come around, she's just going thru a hormone jungle right now, and trying to find her own identity, no doubt. About the meds: yes, they take a bit of time to kick in completely. But I felt better almost right away when I was on prozac. Then as I said, after a few weeks, months, I was really able to step back and evaluate the whole situation more calmly. Prayer helps, too

I've also had and heard of amazing miracles when you ask your angels to intervene. It's sounds kooky, but when I have problems with another person, I ask my guardian angel to talk to that person's guardian angel and work it out. Try it. I hope you get better each day. And I will pray for you and your daughter that things heal.
L,
WTB

hope4today · 10-06-2006, 08:28 PM

Hi there sounds like a normal part of life for a teenager! Sorry you are having problems,it usually takes about 4 weeks for the zoloft to work comepletly. Hope you are feeling better. kathy

silkandsand · 10-09-2006, 05:20 PM

landis, I dearly wish I had access to something like this but I'm in Mexico.

wtb, I am going to try asking my guardian angel to talk to theirs. I DO feel kooky but it can't hurt, right?

H4T, thanks. I have been on it for 15 dyas now and I think it's getting better...slowly. Geez, I wish it would hurry up.

I am really counting on the idea that time will heal all wounds. I love my dd so much. Stepping back and not taking this so personally sounds like wise advice but hard to do...but one step at a time. I'm learning!

09-21-2006, 09:40 AM	#1
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	How do you know if you need meds for depression or anxiety? I am in the middle of a heartbreaking crisis in my life involving my 15 y.o. dd and it's taking it's toll. She lives with her father and says she hates me. I'm a good mother and I love my children very much and I've done my best in this situation with her but she says I am to blame for everything wrong in her life. I know this is ridiculous, but it's still taking its toll. I'm trying to be upbeat and "there" for my family but I am just so sad. Everything feels overwhelming right now, including getting dressed or making phonecalls. I'm having heart palps which I can control with breathing and I'm having trouble sleeping or thinking about anything else. I feel sad and on edge and cry pretty easily. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone outside my family. Should I look into getting on antideppressants? Or just hang in there? __________________ Kristina 150 149 148 147 146 145 144 143 142 141 140 139 138 137 136 132 131 130 129 128 127 126 125

09-21-2006, 03:52 PM	#4
MistyLoo Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,103 Gallery: MistyLoo Stats: 149.5/113/120 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug. 2002	Kristina hun, if you were the world's worst Mom, you wouldn't give a flip what your DD thought of you! Mine has stood up and called me the most awful names and totally treated me like crap. I think it is their hormones, trying to pull away from the ole apron strings, and wanting to grow up, but being afraid to. They use us as whipping boys for every mean thing anyone has EVER said or done to them. And believe me teenage girls can be cruel to each other! See if you can find some OTC Melatonin. It helps replace seratonin and you should be able to sleep. I read on another thread some people have nightmares using this, but I never have. Do a search for Melatonin and read that thread. Last edited by MistyLoo : 09-21-2006 at 03:53 PM. Reason: can't spell today

10-03-2006, 09:15 AM	#14
landis Boss of Me Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In the shelter of His arms Posts: 31,801 Gallery: landis Stats: Not where I'd like to be..yet. WOE: God's Start Date: Jan 2004	Just wanted to add something here. If you only get the medicine (which I am on too by the way) you are dealing with the symptom 1/2 of this and not getting at the root of the problem which is probably much deeper. Please consider going to a good Christian counselor to help to resolve what is going on in you and in your daughter on the inside. I can't tell you how important this is. It is true that antipressants are necessary for people sometimes and God has literally saved my life through them! However, only when I started counseling did I truly being to work through pain and baggage that really put me on the road to true healing. I am told now that I have been on the anti-depressants for so long (12 years) that my body's chemistry may have changed and built up a sort of "dependence" on them and I may need them now for the rest of my life. I also had childhood depression so probably it was already there anyway). I am fine with that because I do know that I can function better for God WITH them than without. I guess my point is that I am SO glad you got help with medicine. But PLEASE know that there is more to it. If you don't know where to find a good Christian counselor, ask your pastor or go to www.newlifelive.org Your daughter and you can experience healing that can help decrease the chance of future problems and lead you to a life of VICTORY like you would never believe! __________________ January goals: Exercise 4 times a week Log everything into fitday Keep up Bible study Last edited by landis : 10-03-2006 at 09:22 AM.

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09-21-2006, 09:57 AM	#2
MistyLoo Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,103 Gallery: MistyLoo Stats: 149.5/113/120 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug. 2002	Kristina, I could have written your post. I went through the same thing with my then 15 yo DD last spring. She even moved out of the house to live with friends. Things are somewhat better now (she's home) but she still occasionally says she hates me and still ALWAYS blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life. And yes, I went on antidepressants. Mainly for the sleeplessness and palps. Best thing I ever did for myself. Talk to your Doc, depression is nothing to be ashamed of, nor should it be ignored. Just remember your DD will have a 15 yo DD of her own someday.

09-21-2006, 10:12 AM	#3
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	MistyLoo, thank you. I feel like I must be the worst mom in the world to have a child who has turned against us this much. Its staggering. And now...getting to the dr for meds sounds like an impossible task. Is there an alternative to meds? I am praying...writing, too. Breathing. Thanks for making me laugh when I read that about her having a 15 year old daughter of her own someday.

09-21-2006, 04:08 PM	#5
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Thanks MistyLoo. I'll look into melatonin. My dh is being very loving and supportive. Thank God. Is your dd still acting out? Mine doesn't even want to speak to me. She said she doesn't even want me to be a part of her life. I think I may have to go on antidepressants. This just feels like way too much to deal with right now. I can't stop crying, I can barely get dressed. Brushing my hair today was beyond me. The phone rings and I don't want to answer it and if someone is at the door I want to run and hide. It's beyond my control, I think.

09-21-2006, 04:45 PM	#6
kellysue24 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Montana Posts: 889 Gallery: kellysue24 Stats: 248/226/200 wedding goal/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 6/29/2005-Jan 28 restart	I was just reading the supplement 5HTP has been proven to help with depression...Do a google search on it. There is alot of information about it out there on it. Cheaper than an RX.

09-21-2006, 05:09 PM	#7
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Thanks, kellysue24. I'll see if my doc has any idea what that is since we're in Mexico. LOL Hopefully he will because I would rather try something milder.

09-21-2006, 05:41 PM	#8
MistyLoo Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,103 Gallery: MistyLoo Stats: 149.5/113/120 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug. 2002	My DD still acting out.. yep, I'm just handling it better and not letting her know she is getting to me..Very hard to do but it takes the wind out of her sails. When she is hateful to me, I just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and walk off. I go in my bedroom, stew a bit, then shake it off. She is graduating early (she just turned 16) and I'm ready for her to get a taste of reality. She will be starting college next fall in a town 45 miles from here. I sure hope she does some growing up before then. This part of your post sounds exactly like me a few months ago: "I think I may have to go on antidepressants. This just feels like way too much to deal with right now. I can't stop crying, I can barely get dressed. Brushing my hair today was beyond me. The phone rings and I don't want to answer it and if someone is at the door I want to run and hide. It's beyond my control, I think." But it's not hopeless. Get some meds, talk to someone you trust, cry, scream, let it all out. Then step back and tell yourself you are NOT going to be beaten by a 15 yo girl. Step back from her, be there if she calls but don't let your life get out of hand. At this age it's all about THEM and they cannot see the hurt and anger they cause other people, especially their parents. My situation is different from yours in that mine lives at home, but when she told me to get out of her life, I just said "Alrighty then, if that's what you want." I gave her no rides to school, no spending money, no new clothes, didn't even set her a place at the table (if she wanted to eat she could get her own plate), if she left her plate on the table, it sat there for a week or until she washed it. I refused to sign school papers, buy supplies, well..you get the picture. She lasted about 2 weeks. And last spring when she moved out, I did the same. I gave the lady she was staying with money with the understanding it was to be used for to feed her only, no spending money whatsoever. Oh and the meanest thing I did was put her cell phone on suspension, that really got to her. Hang in there Sweetie, this too shall pass.

09-23-2006, 06:30 PM	#9
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

09-29-2006, 10:46 AM	#10
Pcola Girl Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Pensacola, Florida Posts: 3,295 Gallery: Pcola Girl Stats: Start-325 Today-225 Goal 160 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Sarted Nov. 2000---Restarted New January 2008	When depression starts to effect your sleep and your everyday activity then you may need meds for it.

09-30-2006, 03:51 PM	#11
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	I'm now on Zoloft. 7 days now and I can tell a difference in my anxiety and my depression--it's not where I WANT to be but I can almost function normally again...almost. I couldn't handle the depression on my own. Someone from here also gave me good info about an herbal remedy that I plan to use when I come off of the Zoloft...but for right now I can't imagine surviving day to day without it. And with medication out there that can help I hope I never make myself suffer through this again. I'm still very low but not suicidal or zoned or sitting all day crying and and all night long tossing and turning reliving traumatic events in my life.

10-01-2006, 07:47 AM	#12
MistyLoo Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,103 Gallery: MistyLoo Stats: 149.5/113/120 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug. 2002	I think the longer you stay on your meds, the more they benefit you. I know my doc said I would be feeling the full effect a couple of weeks after I started mine, and she was right. They have litterly changed my life. I'm this will be your experience too, but if they stop working for you, don't hesitate to ask your doc to change your meds I am so happy you are feeling better!

10-01-2006, 09:39 AM	#13
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Thanks MistyLoo.

10-03-2006, 06:43 PM	#15
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Thanks, Sharon. You're right.

10-04-2006, 08:22 AM	#17
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	I'm getting a little better. I'm not where I want to be but I'm not scaring myself anymore. My anxiety is slowly improving and the depression is not as heavy. I still feel very fragile. I live in Mexico, but there are counselors here. In fact, one of my best friends is a therapist. She has told me I must release my daughter and stop giving her my power but in terms of practical application I'm not sure how that happens or what the next step is. I am a Christian and I know that God is with me and that the process is sometimes just as important as the desired outcome...it just hurts.

10-04-2006, 12:49 PM	#18
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	Hi Kristina The hardest thing as a mom is to release your kids to their own devices... but you must, to some extent (speaking of a 15yr old). Keep tabs on what she's up to, sure, but to function and be of service to yourself and the rest of your family, YOU have to be able to function. I support your taking anti-depressants; they will be your tool in digging yourself out of the morass you're in right now. I had a falling out with a parent several years back and it threw me into a tailspin: panic attacks, sleeplessness, worthlessness etc. I had to go on ADs; they helped me gain some perspective on the problem, a more philosophical attitude, if you will.... I also think you should get the counseling. It will help you evaluate your daughter's behavior better, sounds like she is being a totally unreasonalbe teenage girl (no surprise there-- I had one and I know how they can be!) and making feel really really bad in the process. Good luck, and you will be OK!

10-05-2006, 11:34 AM	#19
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Thanks, walkthebeach. It is stunning to me how much this hurt, when I know she's being a 15 year old girl. The panic attacks are the worst! I am trying to stay in communication with my daughter but it's been very difficult since she doesn't want me in her life and we don't live together. If my reaction to her venom weren't so painful I could probably handle her rejection with more of a philosophical approach. I'm praying for that to be a result of the ADs. Today is day 11 and I am still not where I need to be for my family and myself. I was told it can take about 2 or 3 weeks...and one website on Zoloft said UP TO 8 WEEKS!!!!!!! I know I need to get some counseling to help me deal with this. Are things better for you with the parent you had a falling out with? (((walkthebeach))) I would very much like to be walking on a beach right now.

10-05-2006, 12:17 PM	#20
landis Boss of Me Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In the shelter of His arms Posts: 31,801 Gallery: landis Stats: Not where I'd like to be..yet. WOE: God's Start Date: Jan 2004	Silksandsand, Was just thinking of this. I am in an internship to become a Christian counselor and mentoring with one. She is leading a Rapha 12 step study/group for codependency. It is a little hard to find one but if you could find a church that does this I will just tell you it would be WONDERFUL for what you are going through. You have to realize that you are only responsible for yourself. You can GUIDE your children but you cannot force them to change or think a certain way and you can't FIX it! It sounds easy to do but sometimes where we come from has a lot to do with why we have a hard time doing it. That was definitely the case for me. I am NOT saying you are not to a degree responsible to do the best you can as a parent but her REACTION and what she chooses to do with your advice and God's guidance are for the most part simply up to her. That will be especially the case as she gets older. Anyway, if you cannot find a group, I will be glad to send you the book that you can work through yourself. It is better with a group because you can share and learn from each other but it is a workbook and if you read it all and are honest God really can work through it in a miraculous way! Just PM me if you want me to send this to you but only if you are willing to commit to being honest and work through it honestly and completely. Just saying that because like anything else, you will get out of it what you put into it. A lot of the ladies in our group are in the very same place as you are trying to let go of their children (some as old as 30's!) and this has been a miraculous healing tool for them as well as me.

10-06-2006, 08:19 PM	#21
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	Hi Kristina, Yeah, things are better with the family member. We're still wary of one another, but time heals all wounds, don't forget that. Especially since it's your daughter-- she'll come around, she's just going thru a hormone jungle right now, and trying to find her own identity, no doubt. About the meds: yes, they take a bit of time to kick in completely. But I felt better almost right away when I was on prozac. Then as I said, after a few weeks, months, I was really able to step back and evaluate the whole situation more calmly. Prayer helps, too I've also had and heard of amazing miracles when you ask your angels to intervene. It's sounds kooky, but when I have problems with another person, I ask my guardian angel to talk to that person's guardian angel and work it out. Try it. I hope you get better each day. And I will pray for you and your daughter that things heal. L, WTB

10-06-2006, 08:28 PM	#22
hope4today Junior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1 Gallery: hope4today	Hi there sounds like a normal part of life for a teenager! Sorry you are having problems,it usually takes about 4 weeks for the zoloft to work comepletly. Hope you are feeling better. kathy

10-09-2006, 05:20 PM	#23
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	landis, I dearly wish I had access to something like this but I'm in Mexico. wtb, I am going to try asking my guardian angel to talk to theirs. I DO feel kooky but it can't hurt, right? H4T, thanks. I have been on it for 15 dyas now and I think it's getting better...slowly. Geez, I wish it would hurry up. I am really counting on the idea that time will heal all wounds. I love my dd so much. Stepping back and not taking this so personally sounds like wise advice but hard to do...but one step at a time. I'm learning!