When Body Image Stops You From Living

[Dantesmama]

I have been reading some posts about people who were so self concious that they are stopping themselves from living.

I'm not talking disability as in you physically cannot do the things you want to do but, not doing the things you want to do because you think you look bad and are too self concious to do.

I am a large woman. I always have been. I wear shorts. I wear sleeveless tops.

I swim. I dance and I live.

I guess it just saddens me that so many people stop living because they feel they look so bad, and start living when they have obtained a loss.

I just think you should enjoy doing what you like to do at any size.

[belfrybat]

Amen, sister! Tell it out!

[Charski]

Boy that's the truth too - we only get ONE chance at this life (as far as we know anyway!) so we should enjoy the ride EVERY day in EVERY way that we possibly can!

[AuntieMame]

I confess that I am one of those of which you speak. I wanted to go swimming on vacation but was too uncomfortable with myself to even buy a suit.

I applaud you! You are a healthy model of what I want to be. WEight loss or not.

Great post!

[Mrs2kids]

Originally Posted by Dantesmama

I have been reading some posts about people who were so self concious that they are stopping themselves from living.

I'm not talking disability as in you physically cannot do the things you want to do but, not doing the things you want to do because you think you look bad and are too self concious to do.

I am a large woman. I always have been. I wear shorts. I wear sleeveless tops.

I swim. I dance and I live.

I guess it just saddens me that so many people stop living because they feel they look so bad, and start living when they have obtained a loss.

I just think you should enjoy doing what you like to do at any size.

I use to be one of those people, and the funny thing about it is, I wore a smaller size than I am now!!!

[Dantesmama]

Then be one. Just do it. Take off that over sweater, throw on a color you love, Put on those shorts and your swimsuit and celebrate the fact that you can experience the day and live it.

Stay on plan as best as you can.

That's all any of us can do.

It's Friday, I'm going home, and eating healthily and tomorrow is my day in the sun with my little boy and I don't really care if my thighs jiggle, my tummy wobbles or my butt keeps going after I stop.

I'm enjoing my life and celebrating those at goal, I'll be there too. Someday.


But for now, I'm enjoying life no matter what size I am.


to all of us on this incredible journey

[GetFitMom]

That was beautiful. I fully agree and made a committment that THIS SUMMER not next year when I'm a certain weight that I'll start enjoying it to the fullest. As a result, this summer has absolutely been the best of my life.

[snaggle]

I will say, as I have said before, it is amazing to me how even a small weight loss can pull us out of the "fat funk" where you are so down and feeling crappy about yourself. I felt so much more confident and full of life after only losing 10lbs. Now at 25 down, I really feel good. I don't care what others think, I feel great. I think part of it is the high of ketosis, plus I am eating well and not having sugar highs and lows.

[Marlee]

What a great post. I haven't gone swimming in about 5 years because of my weight and I love to swim. I guess I really need to change my attitude along with my way of eating. Thank you

[HappyHealthy]

It totally is a shame that so many of us don't enjoy the activities we are longing to do. The really ironic thing is that when we participate in these activities it gives us something to occupy our minds besides food. When I get to play with my horses, I can go hours before I feel hungry. When I'm sitting at my desk at work, food slips into my thoughts constantly. If I'm watching television, I'm bombarded with food thoughts.

Participating is those activites we really enjoy and what we equate with "living" is really a great weight loss strategy.

Ginny

[godsbeloved79]

Great post and topic! I have put myself on house arrest because I gained over 50 lbs . I'm going to start living, no matter what! I'm a work in progress and I refuse to wait until I reach Goal to start having FuN!

Thank you for the pep talk

[Samantha42]

This post is me in a nutshell.... Just tonight I've been having anxiety over plans tomorrow night: My best friend's bday is Monday, and she's celebrating tomorrow night at a bar in the city. On the email list of people she invited, my EXBOYFRIEND was one of them (they have recently become friends ). I just can't go. I know I COULD, but I have such image issues right now, I would get such anxiety at the thought of seeing people from highschool while looking like this. I feel like a bad, selfish friend. And I feel horrible that I can't just suck it up and go and be proud anyways. I know my only options are to 1) suck it up and be comfortable at any weight or 2) lose the weight so I am comfortable. I have chosen 2), and when I lose enough weight to feel comfortable in public, I really want to make myself be more social. I've told myself that at 160/165 lbs, even though I'd still be a ways from goal, I will go out and be comfortable and social.

[summergirl]

Samantha I am right there with you!

I think its a lot easier said than done to just 'enjoy life' regardless of size or body image problems, but its so much bigger than that. A lot bigger...

Samantha I too have a 'event' on monday, and heave yet to decide if I will attend..

I am tired of my weight dictating my entire life,its incredibly sad I know.

[chipmunkis]

Originally Posted by Dantesmama

I have been reading some posts about people who were so self concious that they are stopping themselves from living.

I'm not talking disability as in you physically cannot do the things you want to do but, not doing the things you want to do because you think you look bad and are too self concious to do.

I am a large woman. I always have been. I wear shorts. I wear sleeveless tops.

I swim. I dance and I live.

I guess it just saddens me that so many people stop living because they feel they look so bad, and start living when they have obtained a loss.

I just think you should enjoy doing what you like to do at any size.

FABULOUS POST!!!!!!

[CartBabe]

Dantesmama, great post. You are absolutely right. The eye opening thing for me to see is that reaching a weight loss goal, or being "small" has not changed the body image problem for me. A person has to love themselves for exactly who they are at ANY weight, because it just doesn't "fix" things like one would think. I know it may be different for some people, but I still have excruciating body issues. I don't talk about it much because I remember exactly what I thought of a small person who complained about their body or weight before I lost the weight, but, I sure do understand now. That image I see in My mirror is no different than before losing weight. It has to be a healing for body AND mind.
Great post!

[FakeName]

While there's certainly something to the "Fake it 'til you make it" theory of living. I kind of feel that telling someone who is depressed to stop moping around and enjoy life is a lot like telling an overweight person to just eat less and exercise... sometimes it's not that simple.

Thanks for the post, I do think you make a good point, and it is good to realize that you can still have a great life and do anything you set your mind to, no matter what the scale says.

[Jennyl]

well said

When I was a teenager I often refused to go swimming because I didn't want to be seen in public in a swimsuit. I had a terrible body image. The sad thing is that I was 5'7" and 125 lbs and I thought I looked horrible...what was I thinking!! I must have looked awesome but for some reason I was embarrassed. I'm 40 now and don't have a good body anymore, but I don't let it stop me from enjoying myself ...I just have fun and if I ever start to feel uncomfortable I just remind myself that no one is perfect.

[lori121]

Love your post.

[GypsyVisions]

Originally Posted by Marlee

What a great post. I haven't gone swimming in about 5 years because of my weight and I love to swim. I guess I really need to change my attitude along with my way of eating. Thank you

Same here.

[fawn]

Isn't it funny how that "teenager" in us never really leaves until we have come full circle with ourselves?

Great post!

[Dantesmama]

Originally Posted by FakeName

While there's certainly something to the "Fake it 'til you make it" theory of living. I kind of feel that telling someone who is depressed to stop moping around and enjoy life is a lot like telling an overweight person to just eat less and exercise... sometimes it's not that simple.

Thanks for the post, I do think you make a good point, and it is good to realize that you can still have a great life and do anything you set your mind to, no matter what the scale says.

No what I am not saying is fake it til you make it. I'm saying, enjoy life. I just hate to see people who feel they are too fat, not good enough and not worthy enough to be where they really want to be, just because of feelings of not being good enough.

We are all worthy. No matter what size, and we have a right to be part of life.

[elyseelyse]

For me, when I was a teen/young adult (age 15-21) I was thin with out really trying. But, my face broke out a lot. I would pick at it until it was red and puffy and would not go anywhere. If someone would have told me just put some makeup on and a cute out fit and no one will care I would have cried my eyes out. Being thin does not equal self esteem. I had a PERFECT body at one time - but DID NOT like or value myself at all. My face broke out and I wanted to die. I hated myself and everyone with pretty skin no matter if they weighed 100lbs or 300lbs. All I wanted was their blemish free skin. Then, as my face cleared with age, and my body started to gain as my fast metabolism slowed, I stared to like myself. I was actually so smug and pleased with my "improved" skin that I ventured out into the world and got fat. However, even when I began to ruin my health and figure, I was never as upset with my body image as I was when I had bad skin. Low carbing has improved my skin along with age, so I guess now things are on a pretty even keel. Wish I would have known 20 years ago that cutting the carbs would have helped my skin - I probably could have avoided gaining weight along with improving my skin.

[wannabeslim4life]

Originally Posted by Dantesmama

Then be one. Just do it. Take off that over sweater, throw on a color you love, Put on those shorts and your swimsuit and celebrate the fact that you can experience the day and live it.

Stay on plan as best as you can.

That's all any of us can do.

It's Friday, I'm going home, and eating healthily and tomorrow is my day in the sun with my little boy and I don't really care if my thighs jiggle, my tummy wobbles or my butt keeps going after I stop.

I'm enjoing my life and celebrating those at goal, I'll be there too. Someday.


But for now, I'm enjoying life no matter what size I am.


to all of us on this incredible journey

Omg this brings tears to my eyes....YOU are a wonderful person!! What you say is SO true and I havent been avoiding clothes because of my weight its my embarrassment over stretchmarks and you know its no different its no reason to stop living and avoid what I love and feel like doing! I cannot tell you how much your post has helped me see things the way that they should be seen!

[Pcola Girl]

I use to feel so embrassed to wear shorts and sleeveless tops when I was so large because of comments I would always get on how I needed to lose weight. I knew that but it was hard to lose, at least it was for me until I got on Atkins. Since I have lost alot already I now wear the closthes I want to but I still feel so much fatter than every one else that I am around. I am still overweight about 50 lbs to be exact and I am trying to lose it but I still get rude comments from others about being fat.
Last week when I had to see this new bone doctor with my knees he was giving me some injections in my knees, he told me if I lost weight they would get better. Now this was the first time I had seen this knee doctor and he knew nothing about all the weight I had already loss, all he did was critize the weight I was still at. My knees did not hurt me when I was 325 lbs. but they do now, so I don't think my weight has anything to do with it, I just have arthritis real bad in them. I will not go back to him and now am looking to see another doctor who may be able to help me and not be so critical.

I hate it when people treat large people like they have some sort of disease or something. Skinney people get knee problems to. I know more skinny people with health problems than fat people.

I was feeling ok before I went to his office but came out feeling like a fat person and so down I could hardly stand it.

I am not sure what all this has to do with dressing like you want to but I just had to share it with you all.
I am about to get rid of most of my clothes and just go buy me a whole new set of everything. I want to dress more up to date than I do now. Wear pretty things like the other women do in my church, pretty skirts and sweaters etc. put on some up to date jewerly to. I want to be in style even though I am 61 now...

[buffedstuff]

I think it depends on where you live. I live now live in a part of the country where size does not hinder people from wearing what they want. So a teenage girl here wearing short shorts and having her belly out would not be frowned upon but if that same girl move to southern california and dressed the same way she might start having self esteem issues. However I don't think we are going too have the same problem in the next generation I think being larger is becoming more acceptable and so hopefully the next generation of young girls
will be less body conscience.

[walkthebeach]

Yeah, easier said than done, but I appreciate the gist of your post. I guess it is all in our heads..... If I'm feeling fat and have to go somewhere and be around people I think are judging me, then it takes a LOT of positive "self-talk" to put myself out there. And sometimes, I'm just not up to it, quite frankly. But you're right, thinking negatively about yourself/body image, can literally make a persona a recluse, afraid to leave the house, afraid to live. Even if I gain five pounds, I hate to wear sleeveless tops or a bathing suit. but when I lose those five, well, I'm rarin' to go! We're such funny creatures....

[hit-it]

Exactly.

Hey, I'm no woman, but I definitely admire those women who can get out of their shell but be confident with their own skin. Life is more than just being beautiful, and I want to be with that person who can also show me what living truly is.