People can be so unkind.....

Dabbadooey · 07-09-2006, 01:48 PM

Today at a buffet I was assisting my small nephew at the dessert table when I ran into a distant relative I don't see very often. She said, "Now you can't have any of this". I told her that I was assisting my nephew. Later she came by the table where my my family was sitting and said, "I saw her at the dessert table, but she was good, she was only helping Nathan". If I was closer to this woman it probably would have really hurt my feelings, but as it was I simply could not believe what an unkind remark it was....and to say it twice.

walkingwoman · 07-09-2006, 01:57 PM

What a xxxxx!

You'll want to conveniently run into her again when you reach your goal weight.

GypsyVisions · 07-09-2006, 02:01 PM

What a jerk!

Some people just can't mind their own business.

Good for you for keeping your cool.

Maggy · 07-09-2006, 02:02 PM

My m-in-law has said things like that to my daughter b4 and I could cry!! Once she said"you know, boys don't like fat girls"....old italian and just wasn't thinking I guess...but she was chubby, always has been, but not obese!! What goes around comes around...that's how I get through ignorant people's comments.

RITA04 · 07-09-2006, 02:08 PM

Yeah people can be so rude !!! When we are around people we don't see that often... my mother in law will make a comment .. to the people we haven't seen in a while ... look how much weight she has lost ... she is doing lowcarb.... or if someone offers me something... before I can even say anything.. my mother in law will say NO NO SHE CAN'T.. she is on a diet !!!! And it makes me furious !

moonstruck · 07-09-2006, 02:15 PM

I'm sorry you had to experience that rude woman's comment.

I'm doing Weight Watchers and have backslid, but am back on track. When I first joined in April, 2002 we were at my brother-in-law's house for a fourth of July bar-b-que. My sister-in-law's grandmother lives with them and when she saw me putting food on my plate she said, "what happened to your diet?"

It took every ounce of resistance I had to not jump over that counter and smack her around. I'm sorry that woman was so rude. I'm such a forward person that I probably would've told her how rude I thought she was in front of everyone. It has taken me a long time, but these days I stand up for myself and do it with dignity and grace.

KUTGW!

~mina~ · 07-09-2006, 02:19 PM

my MIL is in her 70s.. she is very very sweet I love her very much.. but sometimes.. LOL

I gained a little weight last year and she told my neighbors I was pregnant. Of course she also asked the neighbor (who gained weight) if she was! eek!

she cant help it to some degree, I know... but still.. when it gets all over the neighborhood you get kind of upset!

DoritoFrito · 07-09-2006, 03:12 PM

Wow - I can't believe what goes through a person's mind when they decide to make comments like that!

CarolinaRocker · 07-09-2006, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoritoFrito

Wow - I can't believe what goes through a person's mind when they decide to make comments like that!

well with all that empty space...it probably just passed on through

JuliaL · 07-09-2006, 03:21 PM

I always think of these great come-backs after the fact, but wouldn't it have been great if you had said to her "gee, I didn't know today was your turn to watch me!"

DoritoFrito · 07-09-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolinaRocker

well with all that empty space...it probably just passed on through

Poor thing.

Psi · 07-09-2006, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggy

My m-in-law has said things like that to my daughter b4 and I could cry!! Once she said"you know, boys don't like fat girls"....old italian and just wasn't thinking I guess...but she was chubby, always has been, but not obese!! What goes around comes around...that's how I get through ignorant people's comments.

OMG
hat's horrible, poor kiddo I hope you are doing the best you can to make her forget those comments...
I think that's what partly got me to 188 to begin with, still hear ignorant comments from childhood in my head but trying my best to fight/ignore them

Age should not be used as an excuse!!!!! Feelings or common sense could be applied at any age...

ixtapacheryl · 07-09-2006, 04:42 PM

You know what - just shake it off. She's not worth it. You must be showing signs of the WOE working, otherwise she wouldn't have said anything. Can you imagine someone saying something like that to a person that is overweight in front of a dessert table. I don't think so. She's not worth even getting upset about.

You know what - make sure when you are at goal or close to goal - stride right up to her and say hi, remember me? That will set her back a few notches. She must just be uncomfortable with herself.... Is she overweight?

clarke · 07-09-2006, 04:46 PM

Relatives - ugg - If they aren't telling you what you shouldn't eat, they are tempting you with stuff you shouldn't be eating -- come on, what is one breadstick, do you want some cookies, how about some ice cream, try one of these.......(fill in the blank )...

toomuchtolosetogain · 07-09-2006, 04:50 PM

There has got to be a great "icy" comeback that wouldn't appear rude.

KajunDC · 07-09-2006, 05:17 PM

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Some people are just like that. Forget it. I guarantee she did a few seconds after saying it.

Happylowcarbing · 07-09-2006, 05:23 PM

I agree with what everyone has posted. I'm also amazed at the audacity of some people. Sometimes I do nothing about it, and sometimes I am able to come up with a decent comment. I would have wanted to say, "And you're telling everyone this ... why??" It's a shame that she did that. Good for you for coming here and venting about it - hopefully it won't bother you any more. Maybe some of the quicker-comeback people could continue this thread with nice, but back-at-cha responses for a situation like that. Challenge time, everyone!!

Bradley · 07-10-2006, 11:13 AM

Don't I KNOW IT! I travel in a gospel group, and yesterday, the music director at the church wanted me to come up and play the piano for someone to sing. He kept calling me "little bit" and "Tiny"! WHAT???? MAN that TICKS me OFF! He doesn't KNOW me, OR what I've been through! I pray that I can ALWAYS try to choose my words wisely when I speak to others.

Mavis · 07-12-2006, 05:19 PM

Some people I just do not understand. I mind my own business. That is how I am and I rarely ask anyone questions about themselves other then 'How are you today?'.
The way I look at things is if they want to tell me something they will but I will not bug them for info or say something rude to them.
I guess not everyone else believes in that.

Pcola Girl · 08-04-2006, 01:58 PM

Oh I use to hear things like that all the time from people, They would say something like this, "you don't need to eat, you are already to big". Now don't they think that even large people have to eat to, to stay alive.

I feel it is really rude of someone to say things like that to anyone weather they are big or small. Its none of their business what I eat.

Next time just say to them, "thats a rude thing to say", make them feel small and embarrass them, I bet then they will think twice before they say it to anyone else.
I don't mean to be hateful but sometimes you just have to speak up when it comes to our weight..

Bubbles · 08-04-2006, 04:27 PM

I would have told her how much remarks like that hurt and it was none of her business as an adult you can eat however, whenever and whatever you like. Her rudeness is astonishing.

07-09-2006, 01:48 PM	#1
Dabbadooey MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: South Carolina USA Posts: 1,838 Gallery: Dabbadooey WOE: Metabolic Medical Clinic Start Date: 8/8/08	People can be so unkind..... Today at a buffet I was assisting my small nephew at the dessert table when I ran into a distant relative I don't see very often. She said, "Now you can't have any of this". I told her that I was assisting my nephew. Later she came by the table where my my family was sitting and said, "I saw her at the dessert table, but she was good, she was only helping Nathan". If I was closer to this woman it probably would have really hurt my feelings, but as it was I simply could not believe what an unkind remark it was....and to say it twice.

07-09-2006, 02:15 PM	#6
moonstruck lavender and lace Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,216 Gallery: moonstruck Stats: 202.6/202.6/150 WOE: South Beach Start Date: 1/1/09	I'm sorry you had to experience that rude woman's comment. I'm doing Weight Watchers and have backslid, but am back on track. When I first joined in April, 2002 we were at my brother-in-law's house for a fourth of July bar-b-que. My sister-in-law's grandmother lives with them and when she saw me putting food on my plate she said, "what happened to your diet?" It took every ounce of resistance I had to not jump over that counter and smack her around. I'm sorry that woman was so rude. I'm such a forward person that I probably would've told her how rude I thought she was in front of everyone. It has taken me a long time, but these days I stand up for myself and do it with dignity and grace. KUTGW! __________________ Stephanie 39 years-old 5'10" Wife and Mother Smoke-Free Since: January 1, 1999 "I can do today what others won't - so I can have tomorrow what others don't" Last edited by moonstruck : 07-09-2006 at 02:19 PM.

07-09-2006, 04:42 PM	#13
ixtapacheryl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 5,932 Gallery: ixtapacheryl Stats: 183/147/130-135 - 5'7.5" WOE: '72 Atkins	You know what - just shake it off. She's not worth it. You must be showing signs of the WOE working, otherwise she wouldn't have said anything. Can you imagine someone saying something like that to a person that is overweight in front of a dessert table. I don't think so. She's not worth even getting upset about. You know what - make sure when you are at goal or close to goal - stride right up to her and say hi, remember me? That will set her back a few notches. She must just be uncomfortable with herself.... Is she overweight? __________________ "You will never find out what you can do until you do all you can to find out!" - John Maxwell

08-04-2006, 01:58 PM	#20
Pcola Girl Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Pensacola, Florida Posts: 3,295 Gallery: Pcola Girl Stats: Start-325 Today-225 Goal 160 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Sarted Nov. 2000---Restarted New January 2008	Oh I use to hear things like that all the time from people, They would say something like this, "you don't need to eat, you are already to big". Now don't they think that even large people have to eat to, to stay alive. I feel it is really rude of someone to say things like that to anyone weather they are big or small. Its none of their business what I eat. Next time just say to them, "thats a rude thing to say", make them feel small and embarrass them, I bet then they will think twice before they say it to anyone else. I don't mean to be hateful but sometimes you just have to speak up when it comes to our weight.. __________________ Mary

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07-09-2006, 01:57 PM	#2
walkingwoman Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Paradise Posts: 6,937 Gallery: walkingwoman Stats: 12/4/2-4 WOE: Who knows? Start Date: every day is a new day	What a xxxxx! You'll want to conveniently run into her again when you reach your goal weight.

07-09-2006, 02:01 PM	#3
GypsyVisions Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Nashville, TN Posts: 920 Gallery: GypsyVisions Stats: 200/186/145 5'5" WOE: Atkins Start Date: 6/6/06; Recommit 07/21/07	What a jerk! Some people just can't mind their own business. Good for you for keeping your cool.

07-09-2006, 02:02 PM	#4
Maggy MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,463 Gallery: Maggy Stats: 158/123/125 height 5'5 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 3/05	My m-in-law has said things like that to my daughter b4 and I could cry!! Once she said"you know, boys don't like fat girls"....old italian and just wasn't thinking I guess...but she was chubby, always has been, but not obese!! What goes around comes around...that's how I get through ignorant people's comments.

07-09-2006, 02:08 PM	#5
RITA04 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Saint Louis Posts: 1,456 Gallery: RITA04 Stats: Whatever.. WOE: Atkins - Low carb Start Date: March 2006	Yeah people can be so rude !!! When we are around people we don't see that often... my mother in law will make a comment .. to the people we haven't seen in a while ... look how much weight she has lost ... she is doing lowcarb.... or if someone offers me something... before I can even say anything.. my mother in law will say NO NO SHE CAN'T.. she is on a diet !!!! And it makes me furious !

07-09-2006, 02:19 PM	#7
~mina~ Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 770 Gallery: ~mina~	my MIL is in her 70s.. she is very very sweet I love her very much.. but sometimes.. LOL I gained a little weight last year and she told my neighbors I was pregnant. Of course she also asked the neighbor (who gained weight) if she was! eek! she cant help it to some degree, I know... but still.. when it gets all over the neighborhood you get kind of upset!

07-09-2006, 03:12 PM	#8
DoritoFrito Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 80 Gallery: DoritoFrito	Wow - I can't believe what goes through a person's mind when they decide to make comments like that!

07-09-2006, 03:21 PM	#10
JuliaL Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 17,325 Gallery: JuliaL Stats: 190/145/140 16/8/6, height 5'8", age 48 WOE: Atkins/BFFM Start Date: 4/22/03	I always think of these great come-backs after the fact, but wouldn't it have been great if you had said to her "gee, I didn't know today was your turn to watch me!"

07-09-2006, 04:46 PM	#14
clarke MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,253 Gallery: clarke	Relatives - ugg - If they aren't telling you what you shouldn't eat, they are tempting you with stuff you shouldn't be eating -- come on, what is one breadstick, do you want some cookies, how about some ice cream, try one of these.......(fill in the blank )...

07-09-2006, 04:50 PM	#15
toomuchtolosetogain MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Mid Missouri Posts: 1,839 Gallery: toomuchtolosetogain Stats: 229/161/129 18-20/6 & 8/6?4? 52 years old WOE: Low Carb/Atkins Start Date: Oct. 2003 (serious this time)	There has got to be a great "icy" comeback that wouldn't appear rude.

07-09-2006, 05:17 PM	#16
KajunDC Natural Healthcare Chiropractor Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Mandeville, LA (Just North of New Orleans) Posts: 2,443 Gallery: KajunDC Stats: Lost 115lbs in 7 months Body Fat-40+%/11%/9% WOE: Organic, Fresh and Non-Processed Start Date: Low Carb-Mar04, BFFM-Jul05	You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Some people are just like that. Forget it. I guarantee she did a few seconds after saying it.

07-09-2006, 05:23 PM	#17
Happylowcarbing Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 196 Gallery: Happylowcarbing WOE: Atkins	I agree with what everyone has posted. I'm also amazed at the audacity of some people. Sometimes I do nothing about it, and sometimes I am able to come up with a decent comment. I would have wanted to say, "And you're telling everyone this ... why??" It's a shame that she did that. Good for you for coming here and venting about it - hopefully it won't bother you any more. Maybe some of the quicker-comeback people could continue this thread with nice, but back-at-cha responses for a situation like that. Challenge time, everyone!!

07-10-2006, 11:13 AM	#18
Bradley Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 93 Gallery: Bradley	Don't I KNOW IT! I travel in a gospel group, and yesterday, the music director at the church wanted me to come up and play the piano for someone to sing. He kept calling me "little bit" and "Tiny"! WHAT???? MAN that TICKS me OFF! He doesn't KNOW me, OR what I've been through! I pray that I can ALWAYS try to choose my words wisely when I speak to others.

07-12-2006, 05:19 PM	#19
Mavis Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 853 Gallery: Mavis	Some people I just do not understand. I mind my own business. That is how I am and I rarely ask anyone questions about themselves other then 'How are you today?'. The way I look at things is if they want to tell me something they will but I will not bug them for info or say something rude to them. I guess not everyone else believes in that.

08-04-2006, 04:27 PM	#21
Bubbles Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Live Free or Die Baby!!!!! Posts: 10,100 Gallery: Bubbles Stats: 140 lbs of flabby fun WOE: All the time Start Date: Feb 2003	I would have told her how much remarks like that hurt and it was none of her business as an adult you can eat however, whenever and whatever you like. Her rudeness is astonishing.