Now What Are You Using to Fill the "VOID"?

Shantony · 06-26-2006, 03:09 PM

I was wondering. Now that simple carbs are a "no-no", do you find yourself turning to other things to fill the "void"?

Carbs were an addiction for me but I feel this Big Black Void in my life. For no reason. Happy marriage, good job, good career, etc....

Sugar used to fill up the void. I thought everything would be great if I broke the carbohydrate addiction. Prior to that I thought if I broke the nicotine adiction I'd be alright. In reality, I quit tobacco and began to eat.

Now I've broken the carbohydrate addiction and I find myself spending more money. Shopping for practically nothing. Just the act of buying something as simple as a stick of gum or something dumb for like three dollars. It's like I get pleasure from it.

I gotta fill this void permanently with something positive if I want to enjoy being skinny.

Does anyone know what I mean and can relate? How are you dealing with it? What are you using to fill the void?

Charski · 06-26-2006, 03:16 PM

I know what you mean, but I think you get over it after a while! I used a lot of flavored teas and stuff whenever I thought I NEEEEEEDED to put something in my mouth - that worked pretty well.

Char

Zbunny · 06-26-2006, 03:16 PM

EXERCISE!

I either do a hard core workout, or just go for a walk/hike along a trail to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, or go for a swim, or walk around the harbor, or garden for a while (my tomatoes and green beans are just about ready to harvest!) or anything positive and healthful.

aim in Fla*working · 06-26-2006, 03:30 PM

I feel that way about quitting smoking...I am actually depressed i think....

I wonder if we are all just junkies on something on one way or another..I shop more now than EVER it is a rush thing....
If anyone knows how to fix it...let me know...
I have been learning about Christ (church) and meditating...
not working...

lisayak · 06-26-2006, 03:43 PM

Hi Shantony,

I really identify with how you're feeling. For me, the void was created by alcohol. I have to work a 12 step program to learn to grow spiritually and personally because nothing, no thing on this planet is ever going to fill it for me. I have to concentrate on developing serenity within myself so I can enjoy what I do have, instead of continually searching for the next fix, whether it's a drink, shopping (especially ebay!), drugs, sex...the list goes on! It's not easy but the journey is the most worthwhile, most meaningful experience I've ever had. You're very aware that you're trying to fill a void with "stuff", and acknowledging a problem is the first step to resolving it. I'm sure you'll find a way through these tough times, and enjoy being skinny!

Lisa

aim in Fla*working · 06-26-2006, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisayak

Hi Shantony,

I really identify with how you're feeling. For me, the void was created by alcohol. I have to work a 12 step program to learn to grow spiritually and personally because nothing, no thing on this planet is ever going to fill it for me. I have to concentrate on developing serenity within myself so I can enjoy what I do have, instead of continually searching for the next fix, whether it's a drink, shopping (especially ebay!), drugs, sex...the list goes on! It's not easy but the journey is the most worthwhile, most meaningful experience I've ever had. You're very aware that you're trying to fill a void with "stuff", and acknowledging a problem is the first step to resolving it. I'm sure you'll find a way through these tough times, and enjoy being skinny!

Lisa

......................<----------------perfectly said! i totally agree...That has to b e the cure.

zoes_mama · 06-26-2006, 03:48 PM

I use exercise, too (and believe me, I was not an exerciser pre-LC)... there are still days I have to talk myself into it (because there's that part of me that just want to lay on the couch & watch TV, LOL!), but I remind myself that "healthy / active" people exercise, take the stairs, etc. And when I'm tempted to fall into old patterns of gratitying myself with unhealthy carbs, I just keep reminding myself:

"Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels"

It's like my mantra, really!!!!

Shantony · 06-26-2006, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim in Fla*working

I feel that way about quitting smoking...I am actually depressed i think....

I wonder if we are all just junkies on something on one way or another..I shop more now than EVER it is a rush thing....
If anyone knows how to fix it...let me know...
I have been learning about Christ (church) and meditating...
not working...

Well since I am a health teacher and I've been to therapy for three years I guess I could answer my own question but it's so nice sharing with you guys.

Since there are five areas of health:

1. Mental
2. Emotional
3. Physical
4. Social
5. Spiritual

I have to address each one. I've got every thing covered but spiritual. Let's do a check:

1. I don't feel like I'm going crazy now that I have a plan to lose the weight.

2. I have a great marriage, even if he is fat. I'm fat too (but not for long). It really is true what they say about two fat people being married. You fight over food, space and covers.

3. I'm increasing my activity daily. I have joint problems right now but they are feeling better. Soon I'm gonna be able to do group fitness.

4. I have all my wonderful LC friends. This really helps.

Yup. That just leaves #5. I went to church last sunday too. I thought maybe I need to get my spiritual life together and then I'll feel whole. So I went to a great church and I'm gonna keep going to see if that's what's missing.

aim in Fla*working · 06-26-2006, 03:57 PM

shantony- you helped ME out just then...I am cutting a pasting those and considering them each time i want a cig....a cake....ANOTHER pair of shoes.

thank you!

Shantony · 06-26-2006, 04:05 PM

I'm glad AIM. Can you imagine. I spent three years in therapy to learn how to do that. Just sit down and write it out every time you feel sad. Analyze why you are feeling sad. Get to the root. Dig up the root. STOMP on it and then burn it. I had so many bitter roots, that's why it took three years. OH YEAH and don't forget to nurture yourself. That's was my therapists last bit of advice.

"No one will love you the way you will love you." So I act like I'm my own mother and I treat me like I'm the best daughter in the whole world, who never gives myself the slightest bit of trouble.

Sounds CRAZY, don't it but you know what...it helps. Cause I've been around the block chile trying to fill a void that has been there since I was a child. I just went from socially unacceptable things to now socially acceptable things. And Trust....what's acceptable changes too.

Lisa: I soooooo get where you are coming from. It took guts to say that too and I thank you because you helped me. Because that's what I'm looking for "Serenity in myself". I gotta find it soon. I refuse to lose another day.

The question is HOW....do you find serenity. Where do you begin?

lisayak · 06-26-2006, 04:29 PM

[/quote]The question is HOW....do you find serenity. Where do you begin?[/quote]

Hi Shantony,

I wish I knew! I find it easiest when I stop trying to control every element of my life and trust what God gives me on a daily basis. But it's always a struggle. I love what you said about being your own mother. That's a beautiful idea. I'm learning to mother myself, because I am human - I have limitations, and to ignore them is to push myself closer to self-destruction. I enjoy treating myself well, and I'm going to steal your idea and treat myself like the best daughter too!

Well, I think it's time for me to think about sleep. God bless!

Lisa

Luvmykidz · 06-26-2006, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shantony

Well since I am a health teacher and I've been to therapy for three years I guess I could answer my own question but it's so nice sharing with you guys.

Since there are five areas of health:

1. Mental
2. Emotional
3. Physical
4. Social
5. Spiritual

I have to address each one. I've got every thing covered but spiritual. Let's do a check:

1. I don't feel like I'm going crazy now that I have a plan to lose the weight.

2. I have a great marriage, even if he is fat. I'm fat too (but not for long). It really is true what they say about two fat people being married. You fight over food, space and covers.

3. I'm increasing my activity daily. I have joint problems right now but they are feeling better. Soon I'm gonna be able to do group fitness.

4. I have all my wonderful LC friends. This really helps.

Yup. That just leaves #5. I went to church last sunday too. I thought maybe I need to get my spiritual life together and then I'll feel whole. So I went to a great church and I'm gonna keep going to see if that's what's missing.

Actually, when I got square with Jesus, all the other things fell into place for me. The "void" that I was feeling was directly related to a lack of communion with my Lord. I tried to fill it with junk food, health food, entertaining diversions, clothes, human attention, you name it. But those things were all just poor substitutes for what I really needed. My soul was empty and needed the care that only God can give.

When I finally realized it, all the other things just fell into place and I now enjoy everything so much more.

I found this verse: "But seek first His kingdom and His rightousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."-Matthew 6:33. Although it doesn't promise to give whatever we think we want, it is a promise to fill our needs. I love that when I put God's priorities first He promises to look after me.

Saracat · 06-26-2006, 05:50 PM

I don't believe in organized religion.The attention I used to spend focusing on myself and stuffing my mouth , I now devote to making the world a better place (hopefully). I also excercise , devote more time to my husband, play with my pets(excellent stress relief!) and try to accept myself as a good person. Those are the things I do to fill the void.

sarahm19 · 06-26-2006, 08:55 PM

Good topic! The only way my void can be filled is through Jesus!

Zenngrl · 06-29-2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim in Fla*working

I feel that way about quitting smoking...I am actually depressed i think....

I wonder if we are all just junkies on something on one way or another..I shop more now than EVER it is a rush thing....
If anyone knows how to fix it...let me know...
I have been learning about Christ (church) and meditating...
not working...

i know how u feel! I just celebrated a year smoke free and there were times I thought I was going insane there in the early months, I went on Wellbutrin and it just increased my anger and anxiety, got off that, and basically muddled through. Not until about month 6 could I actually see myself getting through it. Addiction sucks, period. But now I am one of those nasty former-smokers that cannot even stand to be in the same vicinity as smokers. So hang in there you will feel better and your body will love you for it!

Sorry for the thread jack.

06-26-2006, 03:09 PM	#1
Shantony Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere between USA & CA Posts: 796 Gallery: Shantony Stats: 5' 2" -230/188/150 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: June 3, 2006	Now What Are You Using to Fill the "VOID"? I was wondering. Now that simple carbs are a "no-no", do you find yourself turning to other things to fill the "void"? Carbs were an addiction for me but I feel this Big Black Void in my life. For no reason. Happy marriage, good job, good career, etc.... Sugar used to fill up the void. I thought everything would be great if I broke the carbohydrate addiction. Prior to that I thought if I broke the nicotine adiction I'd be alright. In reality, I quit tobacco and began to eat. Now I've broken the carbohydrate addiction and I find myself spending more money. Shopping for practically nothing. Just the act of buying something as simple as a stick of gum or something dumb for like three dollars. It's like I get pleasure from it. I gotta fill this void permanently with something positive if I want to enjoy being skinny. Does anyone know what I mean and can relate? How are you dealing with it? What are you using to fill the void? __________________ ~Shay Goal 178lbs 12/19/08

06-26-2006, 05:50 PM	#13
Saracat MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,105 Gallery: Saracat Stats: 160-116-125 WOE: Atkins Start Date: April 2005	I fill the void with contributing to my community! I don't believe in organized religion.The attention I used to spend focusing on myself and stuffing my mouth , I now devote to making the world a better place (hopefully). I also excercise , devote more time to my husband, play with my pets(excellent stress relief!) and try to accept myself as a good person. Those are the things I do to fill the void. Last edited by Saracat : 06-26-2006 at 05:52 PM.

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06-26-2006, 03:16 PM	#2
Charski Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Central Coastal CA Posts: 10,673 Gallery: Charski Stats: 174 (WW)/130/150 goal 5'5" 55 years young WOE: ATKINS! now and always.... Start Date: 5/03	I know what you mean, but I think you get over it after a while! I used a lot of flavored teas and stuff whenever I thought I NEEEEEEDED to put something in my mouth - that worked pretty well. Char

06-26-2006, 03:16 PM	#3
Zbunny MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell Posts: 1,113 Gallery: Zbunny Stats: 8/35 pounds lost WOE: More cow(bell) Start Date: 35 pounds to go as of 12/29/08	EXERCISE! I either do a hard core workout, or just go for a walk/hike along a trail to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, or go for a swim, or walk around the harbor, or garden for a while (my tomatoes and green beans are just about ready to harvest!) or anything positive and healthful.

06-26-2006, 03:30 PM	#4
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	I feel that way about quitting smoking...I am actually depressed i think.... I wonder if we are all just junkies on something on one way or another..I shop more now than EVER it is a rush thing.... If anyone knows how to fix it...let me know... I have been learning about Christ (church) and meditating... not working...

06-26-2006, 03:43 PM	#5
lisayak Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Wales, UK Posts: 511 Gallery: lisayak Stats: 187/140/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: June 2005	Filling the Void Hi Shantony, I really identify with how you're feeling. For me, the void was created by alcohol. I have to work a 12 step program to learn to grow spiritually and personally because nothing, no thing on this planet is ever going to fill it for me. I have to concentrate on developing serenity within myself so I can enjoy what I do have, instead of continually searching for the next fix, whether it's a drink, shopping (especially ebay!), drugs, sex...the list goes on! It's not easy but the journey is the most worthwhile, most meaningful experience I've ever had. You're very aware that you're trying to fill a void with "stuff", and acknowledging a problem is the first step to resolving it. I'm sure you'll find a way through these tough times, and enjoy being skinny! Lisa

06-26-2006, 03:48 PM	#7
zoes_mama MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Central Phoenix, AZ (USA) Posts: 1,829 Gallery: zoes_mama Stats: 226+/188/165 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Maintaining since 2005	I use exercise, too (and believe me, I was not an exerciser pre-LC)... there are still days I have to talk myself into it (because there's that part of me that just want to lay on the couch & watch TV, LOL!), but I remind myself that "healthy / active" people exercise, take the stairs, etc. And when I'm tempted to fall into old patterns of gratitying myself with unhealthy carbs, I just keep reminding myself: "Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels" It's like my mantra, really!!!!

06-26-2006, 03:57 PM	#9
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	shantony- you helped ME out just then...I am cutting a pasting those and considering them each time i want a cig....a cake....ANOTHER pair of shoes. thank you!

06-26-2006, 04:05 PM	#10
Shantony Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somewhere between USA & CA Posts: 796 Gallery: Shantony Stats: 5' 2" -230/188/150 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: June 3, 2006	I'm glad AIM. Can you imagine. I spent three years in therapy to learn how to do that. Just sit down and write it out every time you feel sad. Analyze why you are feeling sad. Get to the root. Dig up the root. STOMP on it and then burn it. I had so many bitter roots, that's why it took three years. OH YEAH and don't forget to nurture yourself. That's was my therapists last bit of advice. "No one will love you the way you will love you." So I act like I'm my own mother and I treat me like I'm the best daughter in the whole world, who never gives myself the slightest bit of trouble. Sounds CRAZY, don't it but you know what...it helps. Cause I've been around the block chile trying to fill a void that has been there since I was a child. I just went from socially unacceptable things to now socially acceptable things. And Trust....what's acceptable changes too. Lisa: I soooooo get where you are coming from. It took guts to say that too and I thank you because you helped me. Because that's what I'm looking for "Serenity in myself". I gotta find it soon. I refuse to lose another day. The question is HOW....do you find serenity. Where do you begin?

06-26-2006, 04:29 PM	#11
lisayak Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Wales, UK Posts: 511 Gallery: lisayak Stats: 187/140/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: June 2005	[/quote]The question is HOW....do you find serenity. Where do you begin?[/quote] Hi Shantony, I wish I knew! I find it easiest when I stop trying to control every element of my life and trust what God gives me on a daily basis. But it's always a struggle. I love what you said about being your own mother. That's a beautiful idea. I'm learning to mother myself, because I am human - I have limitations, and to ignore them is to push myself closer to self-destruction. I enjoy treating myself well, and I'm going to steal your idea and treat myself like the best daughter too! Well, I think it's time for me to think about sleep. God bless! Lisa

06-26-2006, 08:55 PM	#14
sarahm19 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 1,070 Gallery: sarahm19 Start Date: Dec 8th, 2004	Good topic! The only way my void can be filled is through Jesus!