Have you ever lost weight for someone else?

[canalzone]

I was just thinking about how many of us (to include myself) lose weight for someone else. Personally, I am trying to lose weight for my husband. We always told each other that we would stay slim (he has kept his side of the bargain). I always use to tell him that I felt bad for some husbands who married this knock out gorgeous woman and 5 years later and a few kids, his wife is very heavy. Then they wonder why they are not attracted to us sexually.

I love my husband and want to please him And for myself want a sexy body so that he has some eye candy!!!!

Anyone else agree?

Canalzone
Mom to 2 cute kids
1 husband
1 dog

[adorabella]

I think it wonderful (and normal) to want to look attractive for your spouse.

I love my husband sooo much- he has always been so wonderful and supportive of me. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful mate.

I have mentioned losing the weight for him. He asked me to not do it for him, but if I want to lose weight to do it for myself. He has never asked me to lose weight and has never made a negative comment about all of the weight I have gained during our marriage.

So, I am losing the weight for me, but I figure he will still receive the benefits of having a healthy, happy, thin wife.

[Nicashel]

Nope. DH worships the ground I walk on regardless of the size of the shadow is that I am casting.

[laureninva]

I did it for myself mostly, and my son. Yeah, DBF probably prefers me at the weight I am now as opposed to before, but I EXPECT that he love me either way.

I think any woman in a healthy relationship should expect unconditional love and acceptance from her significant other, regardless of her size.

[nikkiv16]

Yep! I'm doing it for my kids. I'm teaching them sooo my by dedicating myself to this...also the whole "if you work hard anything is possible."

[tori_lk]

Doing it for myself...my husband finds me sexy now...but you know...I want to be happy with myself...
Tori

[mikeysmommy33]

Originally Posted by Nicashel

Nope. DH worships the ground I walk on regardless of the size of the shadow is that I am casting.

you and me both!!! I DO however feel sorry for the women that have men that stray or put them down - it's so common now days and I see it all the time.
I am losing this for myself! and in the process teaching my toddler great eating habits!

[tm2chng]

I get motivation from others. But I am doing it for ME !!

~Lisa~

[Pita420]

I am doing it for myself and for my new love. He is fit and works hard on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. He does love me very much the way I am, but did ask me to get healthy so that we can have many happy years together. Plus, I know he would like me to wear certain clothes that right now I'm not comfortable in because of my size. I am so looking forward to going shopping and getting things I never thought I would be wearing.

[JerseyGyrl]

Originally Posted by laureninva

I think any woman in a healthy relationship should expect unconditional love and acceptance from her significant other, regardless of her size.

I met my DBF online but,he had never seen me when I weighed 245 lbs. I showed him my before photo (posted on this board) the other nite. His comment was "its still you & I love you no matter what size you are" He's definately a keeper!

[Ericab1980]

I agree with the above comments. My motivation is, wedding next year, and we may start trying to start a family afterwards. I want to be able to run around with my kids and play with them, and give them a mommy that will be around for a long time..

As for my DH2BE, he obviously fell for me at my highest 320+ i'm sure.never weighed..

Interestingly enough, I was in the process of trying to get WL surgery, when I met him, (online). After 2 weeks of dating I told him what I was trying to get approved for, and he was concerned for my health as any surgery runs its risk and he said he likes me for me no matter what size I was. Made it official soon there after. Surgery was never approved so I just gained weight from depression, then he proposed and I vowed 2006 was the year I'd get healthy and look good walking down the aisle not like someone with a huge white tent over them..sorry as that is how I envisioned my wedding dress at a size 26..

So I’m doing this for me, and my future. He gets the benefits of a happier me .

[going_down]

I have tried in the past to lose weight for some one other than myself. I have never successfully kept it off because it wasn't something I wanted for myself. The moment that person disappointed me I had no motivation to continue.

Sounds like you are doing it for yourself as well as your dh.

[RITA04]

I think men can't expect all women to pop out 2 - 3 kids and still have the perfect body they had before the kids.... and any man that wants to comment on their wife, because they gained some weight after giving birth to his children, is a no good for nothing A$$HOLE !!! I am doing it for myself.... My husband likes a little meat on the bones... And of course he supports me no matter what, but I really don't think he likes that I am losing weight ... although he never said that... He is a booty man and I think mines is shrinking.. LOL .. Just my opinion, but any women doing it for their husband or someone else (besides kids, that is totally understandable ) needs to get in touch with their self and learn to love their self before doing anything !!

[mrsislandqt]

Originally Posted by RITA04

I think men can't expect all women to pop out 2 - 3 kids and still have the perfect body they had before the kids.... and any man that wants to comment on their wife, because they gained some weight after giving birth to his children, is a no good for nothing A$$HOLE !!! I am doing it for myself.... My husband likes a little meat on the bones... And of course he supports me no matter what, but I really don't think he likes that I am losing weight ... although he never said that... He is a booty man and I think mines is shrinking.. LOL .. Just my opinion, but any women doing it for their husband or someone else (besides kids, that is totally understandable ) needs to get in touch with their self and learn to love their self before doing anything !!

I'm saying! Actually, DH was my enabler. I honestly think that we're all doing it for ourselves or to gain something for ourselves- whether it's adoration, affection, respect and praises from loved ones and peers. Also, this s@#$ is too difficult to just do it for someone else. I had to get mad.

[Jennyl]

I'm losing it for myself mostly. I am single and would like to start dating again soon...so part of me is wanting to lose weight because dating when you are heavy is a lot harder than dating when you are thin. I hate to say it but a lot of men just don't want to date a heavier woman.

[RITA04]

Originally Posted by Jennyl

I'm losing it for myself mostly. I am single and would like to start dating again soon...so part of me is wanting to lose weight because dating when you are heavy is a lot harder than dating when you are thin. I hate to say it but a lot of men just don't want to date a heavier woman.

OK maybe alot of men don't what to date heavy women...what if you start dating and you get pregnant and gain some weight back... then he makes fun of you cause you have put the pounds on.... then what are you gonna feel like.... since you hunted for that shallow man that only liked skinny women... then I would have to say ...not to sound harsh, but you got what you asked for !!!

[going_down]

Originally Posted by mrsislandqt

Also, this s@#$ is too difficult to just do it for someone else.

ITA! When I think back over these past 2 plus years, no one is worth all that but me.

[mrsislandqt]

come on, if Halle Berry can have unfaithful husbands...

[RITA04]

Yeah, but I think Halle Berry is crazy !!

[mrsislandqt]

lol, ain't she? I thought that I was the only one who thought that...but, you know how some men just love their trophy wives?! She puts up with some stuff.

[CarbFiendDC]

Originally Posted by Ericab1980

I agree with the above comments. My motivation is, wedding next year, and we may start trying to start a family afterwards. I want to be able to run around with my kids and play with them, and give them a mommy that will be around for a long time..

I think it is SO important to be healthy to be able to fully participate in your kids lives and to set a healthy example for them. Kids really are like sponges, so in the next 5 or so years, guess I will have to improve my habits.

[bdladie]

I meet my DH at a heavy size so he doesn't know what to think about me losing weight. He has never said anything bad but he also doesn't say anything good. My daughter is the one who really loves to hug me and wrap her arms all the way around me. She thinks its great but is worried I will be to skinny!! LOL I am doing this for me but also to be more active with her, she is a sports nut and I need to be able to chase her around.

Tania

[Dantesmama]

Doing it for me been married a looong time and he loves me for me

[IggyKatt]

I am doing it for myself although it is nice to have your spouse check you out. My husband made the comment the other day that I am fitting in with the other MILFs of Arizona nicely. My husband referred to me as a MILF. At 36 (soon to be 37) that is a GREAT compliment. Since hubby is in the Army it is required that he stay in shape just to keep his job...I want to compliment him so to speak by being in the same shape. So I guess I am doing this for him (just a little) and the fact that I am vain.

[BeyondClueless]

I did try to lose it for someone else once and I failed miserably bc it was not something I wanted to do at the time.
I am doing it for myself now because I want to healthy, I want to walk up a few flights of stairs and not feel like I need to call the paramedics, I want to wear cute clothes and be able to shop in more than 2 stores.
No matter what you do in life unless you are doing it for your own reasons and not someone else you will ultimately fail.

[momto3boys]

I'm doing it:
1. for myself , I feel so darn unhealthy
2. for my kids , I want to be around to play with my grandkids
3. for my hubby , he deserves a sexy wife, who feels good about how she looks(he's also losing weight)...but he never asked me to lose weight.

[Lisa Rae]

Ya know what..I don't buy that you "have to start this for yourself and yourself only!" at least not when you first start.

I started this WOE 5+ years ago when my sons doctor told me he was "clinically obese" I knew I was very overweight..but was in a lot of denial about my amazing son. I went home and cried for 3 straight days. On day 4..I started Atkins. In the begining..it really was all about him. About what I was passing down to him, about how I was not being a good mom. In time, it eventually changedand yes, it became about me. I wanted to be healthier..I wanted to look good..I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, but it sure didn't start out about me.

I think whatever it takes to get you started...is enough at first. Be it your husband..friends...or your kids or even for yourself. I was so depressed and physically sick..I didn't have the energy to want anything for myself. I'm glad over time..that changed.

[beckynett]

I love my husband and want to please him And for myself want a sexy body so that he has some eye candy!!!!

It is obvious that you love your husband and want to take care of yourself as a gift to him. I think that's lovely! It's a way to show honor, respect, and appreciation. If he were critical and demanding about it, or if you were in craven fear of losing him over weight, that would be sad. But as a token of genuinely giving to one you love - why not?! It's no different than making someone a special dinner or choosing something they really want for their birthday. It's just love in action.

Besides, like you implied, most of us have mixed motives for anything we ever do. It's seldom just one reason - even when we think it is.

DH has adored me literally through thick and thin, and never complained or showed any diminished affection or desire, for which I am thankful. That's true love. However, I must say that things are better for us sexually when I am more slender - not only because I am more physically fit, but mainly because I feel sexier, and happier to get naked. Let's face it - guys like that! He likes it fine when I'm fat, but it happens more when I'm smaller. My hang-up, I'm sure, but that's the way it is.

One time years ago, when I was a new young mother and we were having normal marital adjustments, I thought I would lose weight "for him". Well, that lasted until he did something that made me really mad, and I went off on a binge. Very immature! I realized then that that would not work. For me, it had to come from somewhere else.

I'm doing this because it is right for me to do. Right on so many levels. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally. Personally. Relationally. Everyone who matters in my life will benefit. That's the way good things work.

Just my opinion.