Emotional Issues

lexus4me · 04-30-2006, 11:14 PM

Do you have people in your life who like to keep you fat, but not really do it on purpose or unknowlingly by either bringing home the trigger food or making remarks Like " yeah you met me and quit caring about how you look"
what do you do about them... Most of all when you are married to them and they really are a good person but the little jokes and comments tho made in a joking manner...hurt. Am I being too sensitive now that I am really serious about this WOL?

RITA04 · 04-30-2006, 11:33 PM

No, actually your not being to sensitive. You shouldn't have to go through that...I think you need to sit that person down and have a serious talk with them and let that person know that you are really being pained by the comments they are making ! !

t'ann · 04-30-2006, 11:36 PM

There is a lot of people who will try to sabotage you, maybe not intentionally, but out of fear. Some people are afraid of what will happen if you get thin. Maybe they think you wont love them anymore. Or you gain some confidence, and they fear you will leave them. They might need reasurance. Don't give up on yourself for anyone. The things they say may hurt, but what hurts worse in the long run. Your health could be the sacrifice. Stay strong, and don't let anyone hurt your feelings. good luck.

lexus4me · 05-01-2006, 04:14 AM

Thanks for the reply Rita04 and T'ann

DnDn · 05-01-2006, 04:20 AM

I HAVE THESE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, AT THE BEGINIG THEY WERE LIKE THIS BUT NOW THEY USE TO IT , SO NEVER MIND AND DONT BATHER

Beans · 05-01-2006, 04:26 AM

Do you know how I know it's the new year? I know because I will open up my inbox to 10 articles on weight loss from my father. When I was 15, I was having trouble with my Mom and I wanted to move in with my Dad. Know what he told me? I could move in with him, only if I promised to lose 2 lbs a week. Yet, who is it that is constantly trying to get me to go out to eat with him? Who is constantly offering me debbie cakes and candy? Yup. My Dad. He makes little comments similar to those all of the time too. I've lost somewhere between 70 and 100 lbs right now. You can see my pictures in my profile. He says he can't tell I've lost any and doesn't believe me. I have lost a whole chin! His attempts to sabotage are getting worse now too and he has said nothing to congratulate or encourage me. I think he thinks that if I lose weight, he'll have nothing to talk to me about anymore.

I don't know what I would do if it was my husband. I've tried talking to my Dad about it to no avail. I finally just decided that my weight loss had nothing to do with him and that his little comments just wouldn't affect me. It was hard at first, but it's getting easier, especially the more I lose and the happier I become. I'm sorry you are going through this. If you ever need to talk/vent/etc., feel free to write to me. I do understand. *hugs*

lexus4me · 05-01-2006, 08:59 AM

Thanks All, I am going to have a serious talk with the hubbie and he really is a good listener just tries to lighten a situation too much all the time. I mean if he really didn't like who I was then he would be gone by now. When we do talk serious he is honest in his answers and he does only talk about my weight when I ask him. Hey i am a woman and i ALWAYS ask =)

guiltydragonfly · 05-08-2006, 08:04 PM

GOD, people are idiots....I have these "negative people" all around me....from a sister in law who sabotages my diet and my brothers (jealousy), to an over-bearing bi*chy mother, and an X too. One of my best friends was the same way. I just get rid of them. I'd rather leave them, take them in VERY small doses if they're family, or distance myself someway. Life is WAY TOO SHORT (lost my brother at 26, my father at 23...about 3 days & 3years apart) to let losers get you down. F-em!!!! Sorry to be rude, all but it has to be said. If I listened to all that negativity I'd never be able to move. I think that's what it is about, control for these people.

04-30-2006, 11:14 PM	#1
lexus4me Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 453 Gallery: lexus4me	Emotional Issues Do you have people in your life who like to keep you fat, but not really do it on purpose or unknowlingly by either bringing home the trigger food or making remarks Like " yeah you met me and quit caring about how you look" what do you do about them... Most of all when you are married to them and they really are a good person but the little jokes and comments tho made in a joking manner...hurt. Am I being too sensitive now that I am really serious about this WOL?

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04-30-2006, 11:33 PM	#2
RITA04 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Saint Louis Posts: 1,456 Gallery: RITA04 Stats: Whatever.. WOE: Atkins - Low carb Start Date: March 2006	No, actually your not being to sensitive. You shouldn't have to go through that...I think you need to sit that person down and have a serious talk with them and let that person know that you are really being pained by the comments they are making ! !

04-30-2006, 11:36 PM	#3
t'ann Margarita tart Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: arizona Posts: 17,062 Gallery: t'ann WOE: with silverware Start Date: 01-2006	There is a lot of people who will try to sabotage you, maybe not intentionally, but out of fear. Some people are afraid of what will happen if you get thin. Maybe they think you wont love them anymore. Or you gain some confidence, and they fear you will leave them. They might need reasurance. Don't give up on yourself for anyone. The things they say may hurt, but what hurts worse in the long run. Your health could be the sacrifice. Stay strong, and don't let anyone hurt your feelings. good luck.

05-01-2006, 04:14 AM	#4
lexus4me Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 453 Gallery: lexus4me	Thanks for the reply Rita04 and T'ann

05-01-2006, 04:20 AM	#5
DnDn Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 183 Gallery: DnDn	I HAVE THESE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, AT THE BEGINIG THEY WERE LIKE THIS BUT NOW THEY USE TO IT , SO NEVER MIND AND DONT BATHER

05-01-2006, 04:26 AM	#6
Beans Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: West Virginia Posts: 172 Gallery: Beans WOE: Atkins	Do you know how I know it's the new year? I know because I will open up my inbox to 10 articles on weight loss from my father. When I was 15, I was having trouble with my Mom and I wanted to move in with my Dad. Know what he told me? I could move in with him, only if I promised to lose 2 lbs a week. Yet, who is it that is constantly trying to get me to go out to eat with him? Who is constantly offering me debbie cakes and candy? Yup. My Dad. He makes little comments similar to those all of the time too. I've lost somewhere between 70 and 100 lbs right now. You can see my pictures in my profile. He says he can't tell I've lost any and doesn't believe me. I have lost a whole chin! His attempts to sabotage are getting worse now too and he has said nothing to congratulate or encourage me. I think he thinks that if I lose weight, he'll have nothing to talk to me about anymore. I don't know what I would do if it was my husband. I've tried talking to my Dad about it to no avail. I finally just decided that my weight loss had nothing to do with him and that his little comments just wouldn't affect me. It was hard at first, but it's getting easier, especially the more I lose and the happier I become. I'm sorry you are going through this. If you ever need to talk/vent/etc., feel free to write to me. I do understand. hugs

05-01-2006, 08:59 AM	#7
lexus4me Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 453 Gallery: lexus4me	Thanks All, I am going to have a serious talk with the hubbie and he really is a good listener just tries to lighten a situation too much all the time. I mean if he really didn't like who I was then he would be gone by now. When we do talk serious he is honest in his answers and he does only talk about my weight when I ask him. Hey i am a woman and i ALWAYS ask =)

05-08-2006, 08:04 PM	#8
guiltydragonfly Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: NY Posts: 144 Gallery: guiltydragonfly Stats: 279/225/?? WOE: South Beach Start Date: 3/05	GOD, people are idiots....I have these "negative people" all around me....from a sister in law who sabotages my diet and my brothers (jealousy), to an over-bearing bi*chy mother, and an X too. One of my best friends was the same way. I just get rid of them. I'd rather leave them, take them in VERY small doses if they're family, or distance myself someway. Life is WAY TOO SHORT (lost my brother at 26, my father at 23...about 3 days & 3years apart) to let losers get you down. F-em!!!! Sorry to be rude, all but it has to be said. If I listened to all that negativity I'd never be able to move. I think that's what it is about, control for these people.