why are people so mean?

nina_2021 · 04-28-2006, 07:12 AM

So i've lots somewhere around 30 pounds and my secretary mentioned that i looked like i had lost a little. I told her that I had lost 30 pounds or so and she looked at me and said "it doesnt look like nearly that much, are you sure?"

what is up with people?

Rosetta · 04-28-2006, 07:16 AM

Sounds like an insensitive beast to me! I would steer clear of talking about weight loss with people who do that, they are nasty. You're doing great!

JulieJules34 · 04-28-2006, 07:35 AM

OMG, some people are just down right wretched and mean. Sounds like a bit of jeleousy to me.

workingmom · 04-28-2006, 07:39 AM

I agree that she is probably jealous. KUTGW and ignore the mean people!

Valentine Baby · 04-28-2006, 07:58 AM

Did you tell her to put her glasses on?

Barbara Ray · 04-28-2006, 08:14 AM

That's jealousy pure and simple. When I'd lost about 50 of my 80 lbs I ran into a "friend". We started talking - and I was waiting for her to say something about all the weight I lost. She didnt' say a word - FINALLY I said something like "did you notice how much weight I lost?" She replied - "You DID?" Sometimes people just can't stand another's success.

Also another point - you said this gal was your secretary - could there be a little something to that? Like she might be carrying a "chip on her shoulder" because you are a woman - and her boss! When I was working (I'm retired now) I was in a "supervisory" position - I WAS a secretary - but I was the BIG bosses secretary and supervised ALL the administrative staff (about 40 people in all). For JUST that reason folks who otherwise might have been friendly avoided ANY contact with me.

kingbird3 · 04-28-2006, 12:25 PM

Even my best friend doesn't like to acknowledge my weight loss. She had to when I started fitting into her clothes though. :P

My mom doesn't believe I've lost that much either. She said she just never thought I looked like I had that much to lose. But mom's have rose colored glasses.

I think that sometimes people just get use to you being a certain size or shape and always see you as that. That was a completely insensitive comment though. I could see myself being extra sugary sweet to them just to get under their skin after such an event.

gettingstrength · 04-29-2006, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JulieJules34

OMG, some people are just down right wretched and mean. Sounds like a bit of jeleousy to me.

ditto

RobinB · 05-07-2006, 09:47 AM

Jealous. You're doing great!

nedgoudy · 05-07-2006, 10:42 AM

I think that when people see
those that are obviously over weight
or seriously obese that it scares them.

It is the looming spector of what they
could become and what they fear will
happen to them, and people loath that
and will treat obese people accordingly.

Alania · 05-07-2006, 04:31 PM

She is totally jealous. Just ignore her!

Groovycadreamr · 05-07-2006, 05:50 PM

She is jealous. My friend/co-worker. I try not to tell her any details of my weight loss ever time I metions any thing, she seems to remark something negative. If, I say " I lost 3 lbs this week by sticking to low carb" She will say, " Oh, I can lose that easy just by drinking my water". blah,blah, blah. Never an encouraging word.

Lehgrad · 05-30-2006, 11:38 AM

Some people... seriously... I can't believe what will come out of their mouths. You are doing great, I agree that she is just jealous. That is so obnoxious.

ToothPick · 05-30-2006, 02:10 PM

it is also sometimes difficult to see the loss when you are in daily contact with a person...had she not seen you for a while she probably would have noticed.

G

Luvmykidz · 06-20-2006, 05:27 PM

Does it surprise anyone that snotty women are described as "catty"? I know I struggle with jealousy myself sometimes when someone has obviously lost weight or otherwise improved themselves. The green-eyed monster threatens to pop out whenever I see someone else has accomplished something that I cant seem to do. Often I have to bite my tongue to prevent some backhanded compliment from slipping out.

Really it is just my own unhappiness that prevents me from being truly happy for someone else.

I know the feeling of having dropped multiple pounds and either getting no notice or a noncomplimentary brush off. But I do understand that part of the thing with me is that my body shape doesn't really change that much until I have lost (or gained) at least 10 pounds. I mean I know, but no one else will. So, I try to cut others some slack if they don't notice right away.

Your secretary does sound like she probably just isn't willing to give you the credit due, though.

Kat53 · 06-20-2006, 05:37 PM

Nina, Don't let this upset you. You are doing great!! KUTGW and don't quit!!

04-28-2006, 07:12 AM	#1
nina_2021 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 1,007 Gallery: nina_2021 Stats: 18-20plus-size/14-misses/10 WOE: low carb Start Date: 2/20/2006	why are people so mean? So i've lots somewhere around 30 pounds and my secretary mentioned that i looked like i had lost a little. I told her that I had lost 30 pounds or so and she looked at me and said "it doesnt look like nearly that much, are you sure?" what is up with people?

04-28-2006, 12:25 PM	#7
kingbird3 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 795 Gallery: kingbird3 Stats: 159/117 WOE: LC Maint. SEP06 Start Date: JAN 2006	Even my best friend doesn't like to acknowledge my weight loss. She had to when I started fitting into her clothes though. :P My mom doesn't believe I've lost that much either. She said she just never thought I looked like I had that much to lose. But mom's have rose colored glasses. I think that sometimes people just get use to you being a certain size or shape and always see you as that. That was a completely insensitive comment though. I could see myself being extra sugary sweet to them just to get under their skin after such an event. __________________ Robin Proud member of "The Peaches" aka "Goof Troop"

06-20-2006, 05:27 PM	#15
Luvmykidz MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Right here Posts: 2,418 Gallery: Luvmykidz Stats: 165/baby due May'08/140 5'4" WOE: Low Carb hybrid Start Date: June 2006 after 4th baby	Does it surprise anyone that snotty women are described as "catty"? I know I struggle with jealousy myself sometimes when someone has obviously lost weight or otherwise improved themselves. The green-eyed monster threatens to pop out whenever I see someone else has accomplished something that I cant seem to do. Often I have to bite my tongue to prevent some backhanded compliment from slipping out. Really it is just my own unhappiness that prevents me from being truly happy for someone else. I know the feeling of having dropped multiple pounds and either getting no notice or a noncomplimentary brush off. But I do understand that part of the thing with me is that my body shape doesn't really change that much until I have lost (or gained) at least 10 pounds. I mean I know, but no one else will. So, I try to cut others some slack if they don't notice right away. Your secretary does sound like she probably just isn't willing to give you the credit due, though. __________________ ** Heather Perpetual Construction Zone: Your patience is appreciated! Freedom allows us to make our own decisions. It also requires us to take personal responsibility for those choices. ~I will live in the moment, with my eye on Eternity~** Happy Tapper since 7-21-06 My Stray Thoughts http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJ...ner=Luvmykidz2

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04-28-2006, 07:16 AM	#2
Rosetta MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,423 Gallery: Rosetta Stats: 198/147.5/135 WOE: Atkins For Life Start Date: July, 2002	Sounds like an insensitive beast to me! I would steer clear of talking about weight loss with people who do that, they are nasty. You're doing great!

04-28-2006, 07:35 AM	#3
JulieJules34 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mass Posts: 315 Gallery: JulieJules34	OMG, some people are just down right wretched and mean. Sounds like a bit of jeleousy to me.

04-28-2006, 07:39 AM	#4
workingmom Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Maryland Posts: 189 Gallery: workingmom Stats: 200/157/130 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 1/1/06	I agree that she is probably jealous. KUTGW and ignore the mean people!

04-28-2006, 07:58 AM	#5
Valentine Baby MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: WI Posts: 2,386 Gallery: Valentine Baby Stats: 190/190/130ish - 5'4" 45 yrs. HW 210 lbs. WOE: LC my way Start Date: 11/18/2005 restarting 05/11/08	Did you tell her to put her glasses on?

04-28-2006, 08:14 AM	#6
Barbara Ray Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Miami-Dade, Florida Posts: 691 Gallery: Barbara Ray Stats: 230/150/162/150 WOE: Low Calorie/Low Glycemic Load/Low Carb	That's jealousy pure and simple. When I'd lost about 50 of my 80 lbs I ran into a "friend". We started talking - and I was waiting for her to say something about all the weight I lost. She didnt' say a word - FINALLY I said something like "did you notice how much weight I lost?" She replied - "You DID?" Sometimes people just can't stand another's success. Also another point - you said this gal was your secretary - could there be a little something to that? Like she might be carrying a "chip on her shoulder" because you are a woman - and her boss! When I was working (I'm retired now) I was in a "supervisory" position - I WAS a secretary - but I was the BIG bosses secretary and supervised ALL the administrative staff (about 40 people in all). For JUST that reason folks who otherwise might have been friendly avoided ANY contact with me.

05-07-2006, 09:47 AM	#9
RobinB Heart Writer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,170 Gallery: RobinB WOE: Atkins Start Date: restart March '07	Jealous. You're doing great!

05-07-2006, 10:42 AM	#10
nedgoudy Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Southern California Posts: 72 Gallery: nedgoudy Stats: 240/153/160 WOE: Whey Protein Milkshakes and Low Carb Dinner Start Date: August 1999	I think that when people see those that are obviously over weight or seriously obese that it scares them. It is the looming spector of what they could become and what they fear will happen to them, and people loath that and will treat obese people accordingly.

05-07-2006, 04:31 PM	#11
Alania MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 2,345 Gallery: Alania Stats: 172/169/119 (5'4") WOE: WW Online Start Date: January 4, 2008	She is totally jealous. Just ignore her!

05-07-2006, 05:50 PM	#12
Groovycadreamr Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: a really BIG cocoon! Posts: 4,723 Gallery: Groovycadreamr Stats: 258.7/249.8/130 WOE: Low Carbin' It Start Date: OH, No not again!!!	She is jealous. My friend/co-worker. I try not to tell her any details of my weight loss ever time I metions any thing, she seems to remark something negative. If, I say " I lost 3 lbs this week by sticking to low carb" She will say, " Oh, I can lose that easy just by drinking my water". blah,blah, blah. Never an encouraging word.

05-30-2006, 11:38 AM	#13
Lehgrad MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Boston Posts: 2,017 Gallery: Lehgrad Stats: 170/141/135, 5'5" WOE: IR Diet Start Date: June '04	Some people... seriously... I can't believe what will come out of their mouths. You are doing great, I agree that she is just jealous. That is so obnoxious.

05-30-2006, 02:10 PM	#14
ToothPick Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 3,658 Gallery: ToothPick Stats: 262.5/254/165 WOE: WW Core	it is also sometimes difficult to see the loss when you are in daily contact with a person...had she not seen you for a while she probably would have noticed. G

06-20-2006, 05:37 PM	#16
Kat53 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: KY Posts: 257 Gallery: Kat53 Stats: 190.2/140.2/135.0 WOE: Atkins' Start Date: March 3, 2006	Nina, Don't let this upset you. You are doing great!! KUTGW and don't quit!!