alone on easter

bridetobe092306 · 04-15-2006, 02:48 PM

my finacee and baby went to wisconsin for easter and we live in michigan. Im really happy because he went with his only aunt, uncle, and 3 cousins to a nice resort. I dont know what to do because my mom hates him so much, i called her to ask her what she was doing for easter and tell her that daughter and fh were gone and shes all upset yelling about it, asking why i didnt go. I just started my job in a nursing home as a cna in november so i get stuck with holidays and she knows that. of course they wanted me to go but im not going to make them stay home while im at work when they could be seeing family that we dont see much, 2 times a year if we are lucky. sorry for the venting im just really upset that my mom has to try to make me feel like my fh doesnt care about me when i know he loves me. im so stuck i love my mom and my fh and shes so witchy when it comes to him.

Mibashful · 04-15-2006, 02:57 PM

your a c.n.a. so am i i have been a cna for 25 yrs and i work with a helth agency i love it nurseing home work is very hard work and sometimes very rewarding well good luck and im sorry your mom is being witchy about it love shelly.

Sharon · 04-15-2006, 03:03 PM

Sorry that you're having troubles with your Mom. Just want to say that you're never alone because LCF's is here for you, too.

nisha_mommy2one · 04-15-2006, 03:22 PM

Loner · 04-15-2006, 03:49 PM

Sorry your so down. That was very sweet of you to let your family go without you. You sound like you've got it together. Just continue to be the best person you can be.

My m-i-l was witchy too. Just try to make lemonade out of the lemons ....thats all you can do. Hole your head up high. Say a prayer for your mom.

Be happy....you deserve it

ixtapacheryl · 04-15-2006, 05:00 PM

Have you ever asked your Mom why she doesn't like your fiancee? I am not particularly fond of my SIL - but my daughter decided to marry him and if she is happy, that is all I ask. Even though I see more than she does, if I want to continue to have a relationship with her I have to accept him. I think he feels the same way about us - and that's fine. He doesn't go out of his way with us and believe me, we've tried but we've not stopped.

I am very careful when I talk with her - not to say anything against him and so far it's working. She is visiting in June (alone) and that's fine with us. We only get to see her twice a year as she lives 1,200 miles away.

So maybe you could just have a heart to heart talk with her alone and tell her that you love him a lot and if she wants to have any relationship with you and your child, then she will have to learn to accept him.

Has she always been that way in the past with your previous boyfriends or just this one in particular?

Just enjoy your day on the job and know that you are bringing happiness to all the people you will tend to on Easter. That is a very rewarding job - and the residents I am sure really appreciate seeing a pretty, young gal helping them.

Have a Blessed Easter.

CarolynF · 04-15-2006, 06:09 PM

Cheryl made some very good points. But, when you talk to your Mom about your fh, never say anything negative about him..even small complaints..because your Mom will latch onto that and remember it and form her opinion about him through your small
complaints..

When are you getting married? She surely will come to the wedding..

And, you will be working on Easter...and you will be a blessing to those in the nursing home who have no visitors that day..

ixtapacheryl · 04-15-2006, 07:51 PM

CarolynF is so right. Right now I wouldn't say anything negative. My daughter will on occasion call with a complaint about her husband and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to hear them. I let her talk and then I say very little. I am very careful not to say negative things about him - but do try to help her emotionally. Then I really have to watch my mouth other times because I remembered what she had told me in confidence. One time I did bring up something very trivial - and she pounced on me saying "Mother I love him so much". Okkkkkkkkkkk She had forgotten that just a few weeks prior she was complaining.

Just be very non-judgemental when talking to your mom. In fact, act like you are Dr. Phil interviewing his guests

Don't get emotional .... just tell her that you love him and that is that. He's a part of your life and as far as you are concerned that is not going to change. Hopefully down the road she will learn to accept your relationship with him - thus allowing you to have a relationship with her.

Good luck and enjoy your Easter even though you are working. The time will go by quickly.

gettingstrength · 04-16-2006, 01:11 PM

thediva · 04-16-2006, 02:44 PM

Sorry you're having a hard day.

Keep your chin up, girl! We're with you!!

RobinB · 04-16-2006, 04:32 PM

ixtapacheryl · 04-16-2006, 04:34 PM

Bridetobe: I hope you had a very wonderful Easter. I am sure you brought many smiles to all the residents.

You were in my thoughts today.

JanMarie3 · 04-19-2006, 07:40 PM

Misery loves company, don't let your mom drag you down

You are a very loving and compassionate person in letting your family visit others without you

Bubbles · 04-19-2006, 08:15 PM

I never sweat the holidays. DH used to travel for business 3 weeks a month and most birthdays, anniversaries etc he was gone. I appreciate the loving jestures all year long, a day is just a day. Your Mom sounds stressed out. Do not let her get to you. If your man is good to you, honest, kind and faithful then you have nothing to worry about. The folks in the nursing home probably are appreciating your smile today more than she would anyway.

04-15-2006, 02:48 PM	#1
bridetobe092306 Junior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: michigan, u.p. Posts: 51 Gallery: bridetobe092306 Stats: sw/290 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 04/09/06	alone on easter my finacee and baby went to wisconsin for easter and we live in michigan. Im really happy because he went with his only aunt, uncle, and 3 cousins to a nice resort. I dont know what to do because my mom hates him so much, i called her to ask her what she was doing for easter and tell her that daughter and fh were gone and shes all upset yelling about it, asking why i didnt go. I just started my job in a nursing home as a cna in november so i get stuck with holidays and she knows that. of course they wanted me to go but im not going to make them stay home while im at work when they could be seeing family that we dont see much, 2 times a year if we are lucky. sorry for the venting im just really upset that my mom has to try to make me feel like my fh doesnt care about me when i know he loves me. im so stuck i love my mom and my fh and shes so witchy when it comes to him.

04-15-2006, 05:00 PM	#6
ixtapacheryl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 5,932 Gallery: ixtapacheryl Stats: 183/147/130-135 - 5'7.5" WOE: '72 Atkins	Have you ever asked your Mom why she doesn't like your fiancee? I am not particularly fond of my SIL - but my daughter decided to marry him and if she is happy, that is all I ask. Even though I see more than she does, if I want to continue to have a relationship with her I have to accept him. I think he feels the same way about us - and that's fine. He doesn't go out of his way with us and believe me, we've tried but we've not stopped. I am very careful when I talk with her - not to say anything against him and so far it's working. She is visiting in June (alone) and that's fine with us. We only get to see her twice a year as she lives 1,200 miles away. So maybe you could just have a heart to heart talk with her alone and tell her that you love him a lot and if she wants to have any relationship with you and your child, then she will have to learn to accept him. Has she always been that way in the past with your previous boyfriends or just this one in particular? Just enjoy your day on the job and know that you are bringing happiness to all the people you will tend to on Easter. That is a very rewarding job - and the residents I am sure really appreciate seeing a pretty, young gal helping them. Have a Blessed Easter. __________________ "You will never find out what you can do until you do all you can to find out!" - John Maxwell

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04-15-2006, 02:57 PM	#2
Mibashful Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Arizona Posts: 931 Blog Entries: 1 Gallery: Mibashful Stats: as of know it is 195 WOE: im following the lowcarb and/low cal way of eating Start Date: 4 days ago	your a c.n.a. so am i i have been a cna for 25 yrs and i work with a helth agency i love it nurseing home work is very hard work and sometimes very rewarding well good luck and im sorry your mom is being witchy about it love shelly.

04-15-2006, 03:03 PM	#3
Sharon Come join us on the Game Board Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: retired now - I ski 40+ days annually and do marathons. 1st TIME GRANDMOTHER 6/18/07 Posts: 100,911 Gallery: Sharon Stats: 156/124/135 5'6" 63 y/o - GO UCLA - BEAT USC WOE: Atkins - low sodium and fresh food - STAY POSITIVE Start Date: 4/5/03	Sorry that you're having troubles with your Mom. Just want to say that you're never alone because LCF's is here for you, too.

04-15-2006, 03:22 PM	#4
nisha_mommy2one MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 2,808 Gallery: nisha_mommy2one Stats: 180/???/130 WOE: LC Start Date: Nov 9/08 (Restarted) April 8, 2005

04-15-2006, 03:49 PM	#5
Loner Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 4,182 Blog Entries: 2 Gallery: Loner Stats: my boys and their favorite phillie Brett Myers	Sorry your so down. That was very sweet of you to let your family go without you. You sound like you've got it together. Just continue to be the best person you can be. My m-i-l was witchy too. Just try to make lemonade out of the lemons ....thats all you can do. Hole your head up high. Say a prayer for your mom. Be happy....you deserve it

04-15-2006, 06:09 PM	#7
CarolynF Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Kansas Posts: 20,522 Gallery: CarolynF Stats: 195/150/139 WOE: Eat Fat, Get Thin/I Can Make You Thin Start Date: January 2001	Cheryl made some very good points. But, when you talk to your Mom about your fh, never say anything negative about him..even small complaints..because your Mom will latch onto that and remember it and form her opinion about him through your small complaints.. When are you getting married? She surely will come to the wedding.. And, you will be working on Easter...and you will be a blessing to those in the nursing home who have no visitors that day..

04-15-2006, 07:51 PM	#8
ixtapacheryl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 5,932 Gallery: ixtapacheryl Stats: 183/147/130-135 - 5'7.5" WOE: '72 Atkins	CarolynF is so right. Right now I wouldn't say anything negative. My daughter will on occasion call with a complaint about her husband and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to hear them. I let her talk and then I say very little. I am very careful not to say negative things about him - but do try to help her emotionally. Then I really have to watch my mouth other times because I remembered what she had told me in confidence. One time I did bring up something very trivial - and she pounced on me saying "Mother I love him so much". Okkkkkkkkkkk She had forgotten that just a few weeks prior she was complaining. Just be very non-judgemental when talking to your mom. In fact, act like you are Dr. Phil interviewing his guests Don't get emotional .... just tell her that you love him and that is that. He's a part of your life and as far as you are concerned that is not going to change. Hopefully down the road she will learn to accept your relationship with him - thus allowing you to have a relationship with her. Good luck and enjoy your Easter even though you are working. The time will go by quickly.

04-16-2006, 01:11 PM	#9
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

04-16-2006, 02:44 PM	#10
thediva Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: CA Paradise Posts: 511 Gallery: thediva Stats: 165/141/127, size14/8/4,6 WOE: Lowcarb Start Date: Feb 2006	Sorry you're having a hard day. Keep your chin up, girl! We're with you!!

04-16-2006, 04:32 PM	#11
RobinB Heart Writer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,170 Gallery: RobinB WOE: Atkins Start Date: restart March '07

04-16-2006, 04:34 PM	#12
ixtapacheryl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 5,932 Gallery: ixtapacheryl Stats: 183/147/130-135 - 5'7.5" WOE: '72 Atkins	Bridetobe: I hope you had a very wonderful Easter. I am sure you brought many smiles to all the residents. You were in my thoughts today.

04-19-2006, 07:40 PM	#13
JanMarie3 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Under the Gateway Arch Posts: 3,586 Gallery: JanMarie3 Stats: 140/134/125 5'3" WOE: Atkins Start Date: Registered: August 2000	Misery loves company, don't let your mom drag you down You are a very loving and compassionate person in letting your family visit others without you

04-19-2006, 08:15 PM	#14
Bubbles Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Live Free or Die Baby!!!!! Posts: 10,100 Gallery: Bubbles Stats: 140 lbs of flabby fun WOE: All the time Start Date: Feb 2003	I never sweat the holidays. DH used to travel for business 3 weeks a month and most birthdays, anniversaries etc he was gone. I appreciate the loving jestures all year long, a day is just a day. Your Mom sounds stressed out. Do not let her get to you. If your man is good to you, honest, kind and faithful then you have nothing to worry about. The folks in the nursing home probably are appreciating your smile today more than she would anyway.