Calm me down! (please!)

[Darkginger]

After an incident yesterday in which it was intimated that I'd put on the weight I'd lost - not true, had put on 14lbs over Christmas and the New Year, after a 70lb loss - am now rid of that and only 7lbs from goal - (quick explanation here - the woman making the suggestion had herself lost about 28lbs on one of those meal replacement diets just before Christmas, as she was getting married on Dec 28th - she's now put back on what she lost and more, and included me in her 'oh, it comes back so quickly' reference) - I find myself a) more motivated than ever to shed the final bit of weight (a good thing) and perhaps go lower than my original goal, but also b) tempted to go mad and cut right back on food - something I used to do years back with inevitable results - could only sustain it for so long, then started binging! I'm telling myself over and over again to just keep on doing what I've been doing - the weight will shift, my point will be proved etc. etc. - but the temptation to rush things is a strong one - I want to prove to her TODAY that my choice of weight loss method is a good one.

It was one of those passive aggressive conversations that has a very nasty subtext of malice - nothing overt, it just left me with the impression that I was being told I was fat - 'just like' her! Came home and tried on all my 'small' clothes, just to prove to myself that I am NOT fat again, asked the husband for reassurance, remembered that the scales told me 2 days ago that I was 7lbs off goal - and yet I still feel like I should be doing more. Daft to let her get to me, I know - I was actually giggling all the way home at the sheer audacity of it - but I still can't calm down and put it out of my mind, as I know I should. Advice please!

Jo

[Saracat]

Originally Posted by Darkginger

After an incident yesterday in which it was intimated that I'd put on the weight I'd lost - not true, had put on 14lbs over Christmas and the New Year, after a 70lb loss - am now rid of that and only 7lbs from goal - (quick explanation here - the woman making the suggestion had herself lost about 28lbs on one of those meal replacement diets just before Christmas, as she was getting married on Dec 28th - she's now put back on what she lost and more, and included me in her 'oh, it comes back so quickly' reference) - I find myself a) more motivated than ever to shed the final bit of weight (a good thing) and perhaps go lower than my original goal, but also b) tempted to go mad and cut right back on food - something I used to do years back with inevitable results - could only sustain it for so long, then started binging! I'm telling myself over and over again to just keep on doing what I've been doing - the weight will shift, my point will be proved etc. etc. - but the temptation to rush things is a strong one - I want to prove to her TODAY that my choice of weight loss method is a good one.

It was one of those passive aggressive conversations that has a very nasty subtext of malice - nothing overt, it just left me with the impression that I was being told I was fat - 'just like' her! Came home and tried on all my 'small' clothes, just to prove to myself that I am NOT fat again, asked the husband for reassurance, remembered that the scales told me 2 days ago that I was 7lbs off goal - and yet I still feel like I should be doing more. Daft to let her get to me, I know - I was actually giggling all the way home at the sheer audacity of it - but I still can't calm down and put it out of my mind, as I know I should. Advice please!

Jo

She feels bad about herself so she is trying to make you feel bad. Keep trying on those small clothes and doing your thing. Soon you will need even smaller clothes. What is really irritating her is the difference between you is obvious. Otherwise she wouldn't be playing this game. Have fun with this and irritate her more! Ignore her and get even skinnier! That will pull her chain.

[toomuchtolosetogain]

Enjoy your weight loss, whether or not other people approve or appreciate--it is about YOU not about her. Congratulations on the fine job you have done.

[JuliaL]

She pushed your buttons, that's all. I agree that she wants to include you in her description of herself to make herself feel better. Tell yourself - literally talk to yourself - and tell yourself you are in control of your body. Not her, and not anyone else. This is your journey and you won't let anyone derail you.

I hope by now you've calmed down - you've done a great job, congratulations on your loss!

[beachlvr58]

The Best revenge is to be the best you can be and keep on going to goal so that she can eat her own words..Lisa

[SusanBee]

Umm... you weigh 136? ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY !!!

[Rosetta]

It's too bad people she made you doubt yourself. Don't allow anyone to rob you of your success, it's real! My suggestion is that you plan all your meals ahead for the next week. Then flush that woman out of your mind and focus on eating according to the healthy LC plan you've set for the next week. Don't even think about what to do, just eat the menus you've set. Get yourself busy with something else. Look at yourself in your small clothes and remember that you will soon make it to goal. I know I couldn't believe it 'til I actually made it to goal. It can be stressful towards the end, even without comments like that. Hang in there, you will be fine. You're doing absolutely great!

[Purple Sage]

Don't let her get the best of you. She wants to see you gain your wt back so she will feel justified in not sustaining her wt loss. I actually have a very passive aggresive former friend like that. She was always a little bit heavy but not like me....she lost abut 10 pounds when I started losing it and gained it back. I am now the "skinny" friend and her passive aggressive comments about no one being able to sustain loss like that and our body has a comfort zone and everyone goes back to that eventually finally led me to not seeing her any more. I don't want to associate with people who will try to drag me down.

[Darkginger]

Gosh, thanks all! I'm feeling a lot better about it this afternoon - went for a nice walk to a friend's house - he lives by the beach, and today was the first springlike weather we've had. The gorse (yellow flowered, spiky leaved shrub) was in full bloom, and the air was full of its coconut-like scent - absolutely wonderful! Took one of my dogs with me (we have 4) - and she enjoyed the visit with my friend's dogs, too. Came back home in a much better state of mind, with things back in perspective again. The passive aggressive 'friend' is working out of the locality for the next few months, so I'm hoping (no, I'm knowing) that I'll be at goal (and maybe beyond) next time I see her - and that will be sweet enough revenge for me! In the meantime, I'm just going to continue to enjoy my food (pheasant tonight!) as I have for the past 2 years - oh, that was another comment of hers 'when I use the meal replacement diet, I lose the weight in 4 weeks that it takes you months to shed' - grrr! - the difference is, she suffers through her weight loss attempts, I enjoy mine - and, what's more, I can sustain mine for life, whereas she most obviously can't!

See? Definitely feeling better - I just doubted myself for a while there, but you lot have helped me return to seeing things as they are - not as my so-called friend would have them be. Thanks again!

Jo

[gotogirl]

Good for you. Jump on that pre-maintenance wagon. I found that I needed to start up the "carb ladder" and add in a few carbs per week to reach my goal. It feels so good to get there but don't try to take shortcuts and fast or anything or you won't be ready for true maintenance, IMO.

[Topazz]

NEVER let people have that much control over you. Do what you know works for you and forget this person even breathes. It's not worth it.

[thediva]

Jo - can you "feel" this hug! Don't let her bring you down for even a minute. You have SO much to be proud of -- just look at what YOU'VE accomplished!! Your numbers are an inspiration. Do Not Spend One More Minute even thinking of her or her hurtful comments. You know what you're doing and you're doing Great!!

[yarncat]

Don't listen to her,Jo!You're doing great!!

[Narcosis]

Jo, this woman doesn't sound like a friend at all. Misery loves company and she's miserable and wants company. She can only spoil your positive frame of mind if you let her. If it were me, I would tell her to kiss my low-carb azz and would expect an apology before I considered being friendly with her again.

[Mo Farley]

The next time you know you will be seeing her make sure you wear something low cut and sexy..Get the hair and nails done..Pamper yourself..You'll be glowing...She'll be..well we know what she'll be doing....
Getting the last laught isn't alway's a bad thing..

[Bubbles]

You could always beat the hell out of her. It might make you feel better.

[pennylovesdarren]

[quote=Mo Farley]The next time you know you will be seeing her make sure you wear something low cut and sexy..Get the hair and nails done..Pamper yourself..You'll be glowing.......
QUOTE]

I agree! You look fabulous! You've been very successful with your WOE and it's obvious! Let the naysayers nay! Your transformation speaks for itself. Just smile and be lovely!(because you are!)

[Cookie41]

First on all you look Awesome Dr. Atkins talks about friends and family who wittingly or unwittingly try to sabotage your diet but I cant remember which book it was in? Maybe it is in all of them? My Uncle is always trying to get me to just take a taste it wont hurt lol but he is just trying to be nice.
It sounds like she is very jealous don't think about it her or her words you look Great

[Tennessee]

Being thin is the best revenge - GO GIRL

[nonstickpam107]

You, my dear, are a far better woman than I'll ever be. Because I'd have gone home and whipped up two cakes and a vat of icing and taken it over to her

Pam

[Darkginger]

Great idea, but I can't do it as there's no suitable flour or sugar in the house! I'm feeling even more positive now - thanks so much for all the support. Actually, this HAS been a good thing after all, as it's inspired me to start exercising - in the form of walking. So I guess I should be grateful - and am sure I'll be able to feel that gratitude all the more once I'm at goal and she's still not! I'm waiting for a morning when I know she'll have a hangover, then I might just pop round there nice and early in my smallest clothes, hair and make-up done, and of course I'll be TERRIBLY sympathetic, and offer to make her a nice black coffee...with sugar?

Jo

[landis]

Originally Posted by Darkginger

Great idea, but I can't do it as there's no suitable flour or sugar in the house! I'm feeling even more positive now - thanks so much for all the support. Actually, this HAS been a good thing after all, as it's inspired me to start exercising - in the form of walking. So I guess I should be grateful

Jo

Good for you! It is always better to learn from things like that than to let it get you down. You are SO doing great!

[JanMarie3]

Jo,

You go girl

Seems your "friend" must be a bit envious of your weightloss and doesn't want to admit she was wrong in her choice of weight loss programs