I am scared about losing weight

[Tylar_Connar]

am I weird? Anyone else have this feeling? I have not been at 165 in several years..which is nearing. That weight i can handle. But at the rate things are going, I know I can/will get below that. But I am scared...of what? I am not sure. Maybe the unknown. Anyone feel like this once you are losing, get closer to goal, etc...?

[Rosetta]

Yes, I have those fears. Try to think about what could possibly happen, no matter how unlikely it seems. Then maybe some of your fears will take shape so you can talk them out and deal with them. It got in my way for a while, I stuggled to get thin because of it. I did get thin, but I still struggle every single time I get near 130 because I have never been under 130 in many years, and it seems to terrify me. You're not alone.

[JONAH'S GRANNY]

Might be the upcoming fear of Maintenance too.

[Jessica]

I know that I'm scared. Everytime I start losing I get freaked and go off plan. Trying to retrain myself.

[Philmontienne]

I was just having similar thoughts!

Watching you zoom toward goal, (go Tylar!!! ) I started to wonder why I felt like I needed to go more slowly.

M/E is the most effective and fastest approach I've ever tried. In fact, I think it may feel too easy--like I should have to suffer more. Some puritanical forefather in my head, I guess, doesn't want me to just enjoy anything.

I'm also a little concerned about maintenance. I know I'll have to eat less to maintain a lower weight, and worry that too big a jump at once will be harder to adjust to.

[Carol H]

I think this would be why, whenever I see a nice new number on the scale...it seems to send me into a cheat! Logically that doesn't make sense and I should want to work even harder because of my success, but it happens every time!

I am definitely scared of maintainance! I DON'T want to put the weight back on and I am so afraid of having to "diet" for the rest of my life and not being able to do it successfully.

[whippetlady]

This happened to me the first time I did this WOE, and I got very nervous. Sat down and thought long and hard about it. Maybe it has something to do with "loss of self" or feeling as though you are not going to be "you" any longer. But having been at a wonderful weight for a while, then tubbing out again, I am looking at Goal with nothing other than excitement and longing. I am still me, still have the same likes and dislikes, problems and life in general that I do now, there is just less of me taking up space on the planet.

[Tommyswife]

Wow,

It's as if all of you have been walking around in my head. I get this overwhelming feeling of not being able to accomplish my goal, so I give up. I'll start in the mid 190's. After follwing plan for a week, I'll get down to 187. I don't know what it is about 187, but everytime I hit that number, fear grips me and overwhelming feelings of not meeting my goal and I give in and eat until I'm back in the mid 190's. It's definitely psychological.

[whippetlady]

Yes, but now that you KNOW it's in your head, talk to yourself. Pretend you are 185. Sort of Dr. Phil! How do you feel? Are you are bad person at 185?? No, of course not.

[sabbychef]

I totally understand the FEAR of losing the weight. I've held on to this weight and added more onto my body out of FEAR.

The extra fat is like a warm security blanket with a Downy smell for me. It's been my best friend, my own private obsession and controlling vice for 30 years. It's been my partner in crime. It's soothed me when no one or nothing else could.

Heck yeah I FEAR letting my good friend go. I hate to see her go. But go she must.

I've given myself permission to try something NEW. It's the FEAR of the unknown that keeps us cheating and bingeing. It's the IDEA of being at a healthy, smaller weight that we FEAR. What would we do with ourselves if we weren't FAT anymore?

I plan to find out.

suga

[EnufsEnuf]

This is exactly how I feel, too! It's scary to think of being a thin person...that sounds strange but I've lived with this body for so long that I feel like I'll be different somehow. I think it's all about taking it in steps, accepting where you are, and moving on. Hey! Kind of like life in general!

[ctdiver]

I definitely understand... In the past, I've used my fat to shield me from things I was scared of (commitment, failure, too much attention, etc.), and even though I feel like I've worked through those issues, there's still a little fear left just at the idea of being thin.

This time around, I really haven't had the fear I have in previous tries, though. I think the main thing helping me this time is that I'm losing weight to make a healthier pregnancy for me when we try to get PG later this year...I guess I'm more scared of what could happen to my baby (and me) than I am of being thin!

[Anna]

Originally Posted by ctdiver

I definitely understand... In the past, I've used my fat to shield me from things I was scared of (commitment, failure, too much attention, etc.), and even though I feel like I've worked through those issues, there's still a little fear left just at the idea of being thin.

yeah me too. I think I've used weight as an excuse to hide, withdraw, protect myself. I feel very uncomfortable as I lose weight. Yesterday when I was giving people hugs at work when saying goodbye I was very aware of how *average* I felt, I no longer felt bigger than most of the people around me and that was strange... it made me feel more vulnerable. It's weird how easy it is to sabotage ourselves when fearful, isn't it?

[gurlradiant]

If the weight goes then we have nothing else to obssess about and we might have to face the fact that there is an emptiness there. We blame the weight for failures, bad choices, and everything else. What will we blame after the weight? We use food to deal with most emotions. How will we deal after that?

[Wen]

Originally Posted by gurlradiant

If the weight goes then we have nothing else to obssess about and we might have to face the fact that there is an emptiness there. We blame the weight for failures, bad choices, and everything else. What will we blame after the weight? We use food to deal with most emotions. How will we deal after that?

So true. We'll no longer have the "if I were thin" excuse for dealing with whatever issue life throws at us.

[Anna]

Originally Posted by gurlradiant

If the weight goes then we have nothing else to obssess about and we might have to face the fact that there is an emptiness there. We blame the weight for failures, bad choices, and everything else. What will we blame after the weight? We use food to deal with most emotions. How will we deal after that?

good point!

[AntiCarber]

I Have no fear at all!! i just cant wait to be thin! I just want it to happen FAST..lol

[Jennyl]

There are some things in my life that I have put off doing for a while. I always say that when I lose weight I'll be able to do them. But it's scary to think about all that change. It's easier sometimes to just stay in my safe place, using my weight as an excuse so I don't have to face certain things. I've lost about half of my weight, I still have about 55 lbs to lose. Right now I feel good. I feel a lot better at 185 than I did at 250 lbs. But I'm still overweight enough that I use it as an excuse to avoid certain things. I have often complained about losing weight too slowly, but emotionally I think the slow loss is better for me. It's giving me time to think about my goals and mentally prepare myself for certain things that I hope to accomplish.

[Bluqq]

I guess its reverse for me
The control that I have in my eating and dropping the weight I have turned onto other 'demons' in my life. I stopped smoking finally after 30 years. It wasnt that hard and that freaked me out. I learned thru atkins and eating for life and health that i am a very strong person and can do anything.

I like saying OK...going to drop 5 pounds and getting serious and then seeing the scale go down, it makes me feel strong not afraid

[dreamerdee]

I think one of my fears about losing weight was about becoming more attractive to men. I was afraid I might not be able to handle the attention, be able to say no to unwanted advances and temptations, etc. What if I found someone I wanted to be with other than my wonderful DH? What if he thought I did?

Also afraid that I'd become vain, self-absorbed with buying clothes and always thinking about my appearance,etc.

Another fear was that other women would see me as competition. I am rather non-competitive, and have heard many mean competitive things women say and do, and I was always safefly out of all that when heavier. I know these sound sort of crazy, but they are in the mix of fears.

[lorriemc]

I think if it were me I'd be scared that all of my problems that I've always attributed to being overweight wouldn't mysteriously disappear when I hit my goal. I feel like I've always used my weight as an excuse to be miserable, and wouldn't know what to do without it. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

[terez]

Originally Posted by dreamerdee

I think one of my fears about losing weight was about becoming more attractive to men. I was afraid I might not be able to handle the attention, be able to say no to unwanted advances and temptations, etc. What if I found someone I wanted to be with other than my wonderful DH? What if he thought I did?

Also afraid that I'd become vain, self-absorbed with buying clothes and always thinking about my appearance,etc.

Another fear was that other women would see me as competition. I am rather non-competitive, and have heard many mean competitive things women say and do, and I was always safefly out of all that when heavier. I know these sound sort of crazy, but they are in the mix of fears.

It's like people see you as an entirely different person at different weights. For me, it was the expectations that I felt people were placing on me. I, too, had gotten a lot of attention from men that I couldn't handle when I was young and I was afraid of this happening again. The competition of other women was another factor. I had been hurt by a lot of cutting remarks by others trying to bring me down.

Then, I realized that I can't live my life for what others expect. I DON'T have to date if I don't want to, I DON'T have to surround myself with other women who want to compete. Life is too short and I just can't get involved in other people's messes. They'll think what they want based on THEIR past history, not on what they see. If people want to be my friend, great! If they don't, maybe they're busy.

I don't worry about being vain. Buying clothes is a chore. I do a lot online.