I am dying a very slow death.

passionfairy · 03-14-2006, 07:36 PM

I am slowing killing myself.

I am not physically harming myself. I killing myself by not taking care of my body. I am feeding it crap. I eat in the car on the way to class or clinical (nursing school) I do not exercise, I sit on the couch or in front of the computer. I have stop taking vitamins, decreased my water intake. I do not eat real food. I prepare fast and easy meals that my DH and children will eat. I do know that it is not healthy for them. I am not in the finanical way to be able to purchase fresh fruit and vegs. We are just surviving untill I gradute from school.
I have gained about 25 pounds since I have started nursing school

I have all intentions of getting this weight off. I have even bought an ab roller to assist with crunchs. I have not used it once since I bought it also most two weeks ago.
I lay in bed and can see myself as large as the half ton man on TLC. I feel the fat roll when I move. My back hurts every morning from the postion that I sleep in. I know its not the bed, we just bought it in Feb.

I deserve better for myself and my children.Dh on the other hand is anyother post.
I need a serious wake up call and take my health serious and stop making excuses.

I am hanging my head in shame and kicking myself for getting this way.

Butternut · 03-14-2006, 08:41 PM

I am sorry that you are going through this yet I relate to it. In my thirties I lost eighty pounds and felt wonderful and healthy. Got remarried, had another baby and a hyst. Gained it all back. Why??? Maybe depression, maybe the hormone replacement therapy. If I had it to do all over I would try harder to maintain.
After gaining it back the troubles began. Several health problems. Now, at this age, it is sooo much harder to lose weight and be active. Please take care of yourself. Nursing school is tough, but temporary. Soon you will be done and free again! Lots to look forward to....

waddleon · 03-14-2006, 08:56 PM

Hang in there!! Sounds like you have a lot going on (nursing school is so hard and STRESSFUL) I looked at your gallery NO WAY u shd feel like the 1ton man. I work fulltime b4 atkins/BFL i too made easy/cheap(boxed dinners instant potatoes , ie carbs). Your family is fine along w lots of familes that eat "carby easy" food. I stock up on tyson boneless chicken(GODSEND) few mins on the george formen, add some veggies and some pasta noodles for kids= a pretty balanced meal. I get up at 5am to workout, its the only me time i get and weather permitting DH and kids go w me to the track at nite-not only is it great family time, kids sleep better. Just want u to know ur in my prayers.

Bubbles · 03-15-2006, 12:06 PM

Take it one meal at a time and stop beating yourself up. You are going into healthcare so you know the drawbacks to being obese, no point in discussing it. My DS is a nurse and says 90% of her co-workers are overweight and she has to run from breakroom snacks all the time. If you get it under control now it will be so much easier after you start work.
Reward yourself when you stick to plan with a new lipstick, magazine etc. Drink a ton of water everyday and you will not be as hungry.

passionfairy · 03-15-2006, 03:19 PM

Thank you for the kind words. Today was a bit easier. I had clincial on the floor, did alot of running around. It felt good being active and I get to do all over again tomorrow. This morning I had a coffee with french vanilla splenda and cream and a bacon egg and cheese on half of a whole wheat bagel. Drank some water while on the floor.For lunch was a nasty buritto and a diet pepsi. Dinner is chicken and jo jo's I will take off the skin and dip it into Cheris white sauce. I will not be able to weigh untill Fri morning.

walkthebeach · 03-15-2006, 04:19 PM

School can be a big stress factor; I know, because I didn't get my degree until relatively recently. One thing I remember though is that I did much better in school when I fed myself wholesome food. Maybe you could approach it from that angle. After all, aren't you worth the effort? You know you are! Take care of you, and good luck!

03-14-2006, 07:36 PM	#1
passionfairy Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: N.E. Ohio Posts: 342 Gallery: passionfairy WOE: Living life to the fullest	I am dying a very slow death. I am slowing killing myself. I am not physically harming myself. I killing myself by not taking care of my body. I am feeding it crap. I eat in the car on the way to class or clinical (nursing school) I do not exercise, I sit on the couch or in front of the computer. I have stop taking vitamins, decreased my water intake. I do not eat real food. I prepare fast and easy meals that my DH and children will eat. I do know that it is not healthy for them. I am not in the finanical way to be able to purchase fresh fruit and vegs. We are just surviving untill I gradute from school. I have gained about 25 pounds since I have started nursing school I have all intentions of getting this weight off. I have even bought an ab roller to assist with crunchs. I have not used it once since I bought it also most two weeks ago. I lay in bed and can see myself as large as the half ton man on TLC. I feel the fat roll when I move. My back hurts every morning from the postion that I sleep in. I know its not the bed, we just bought it in Feb. I deserve better for myself and my children.Dh on the other hand is anyother post. I need a serious wake up call and take my health serious and stop making excuses. I am hanging my head in shame and kicking myself for getting this way. __________________ Tammy in Ohio 40yo 5'2" 192,192,135 "Stop thinking about doing it and just do it." 192 190 185 180 175 170 165 160 155 150 145 140 135

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03-14-2006, 08:41 PM	#2
Butternut Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,979 Gallery: Butternut Stats: 3x/2x/Med. WOE: Low Carb Start Date: December 2001	I am sorry that you are going through this yet I relate to it. In my thirties I lost eighty pounds and felt wonderful and healthy. Got remarried, had another baby and a hyst. Gained it all back. Why??? Maybe depression, maybe the hormone replacement therapy. If I had it to do all over I would try harder to maintain. After gaining it back the troubles began. Several health problems. Now, at this age, it is sooo much harder to lose weight and be active. Please take care of yourself. Nursing school is tough, but temporary. Soon you will be done and free again! Lots to look forward to....

03-14-2006, 08:56 PM	#3
waddleon Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Missouri Posts: 579 Gallery: waddleon Stats: 172/168/130 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 03/01/2006	Hang in there!! Sounds like you have a lot going on (nursing school is so hard and STRESSFUL) I looked at your gallery NO WAY u shd feel like the 1ton man. I work fulltime b4 atkins/BFL i too made easy/cheap(boxed dinners instant potatoes , ie carbs). Your family is fine along w lots of familes that eat "carby easy" food. I stock up on tyson boneless chicken(GODSEND) few mins on the george formen, add some veggies and some pasta noodles for kids= a pretty balanced meal. I get up at 5am to workout, its the only me time i get and weather permitting DH and kids go w me to the track at nite-not only is it great family time, kids sleep better. Just want u to know ur in my prayers.

03-15-2006, 12:06 PM	#4
Bubbles Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Live Free or Die Baby!!!!! Posts: 10,100 Gallery: Bubbles Stats: 140 lbs of flabby fun WOE: All the time Start Date: Feb 2003	Take it one meal at a time and stop beating yourself up. You are going into healthcare so you know the drawbacks to being obese, no point in discussing it. My DS is a nurse and says 90% of her co-workers are overweight and she has to run from breakroom snacks all the time. If you get it under control now it will be so much easier after you start work. Reward yourself when you stick to plan with a new lipstick, magazine etc. Drink a ton of water everyday and you will not be as hungry.

03-15-2006, 03:19 PM	#5
passionfairy Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: N.E. Ohio Posts: 342 Gallery: passionfairy WOE: Living life to the fullest	Thank you for the kind words. Today was a bit easier. I had clincial on the floor, did alot of running around. It felt good being active and I get to do all over again tomorrow. This morning I had a coffee with french vanilla splenda and cream and a bacon egg and cheese on half of a whole wheat bagel. Drank some water while on the floor.For lunch was a nasty buritto and a diet pepsi. Dinner is chicken and jo jo's I will take off the skin and dip it into Cheris white sauce. I will not be able to weigh untill Fri morning.

03-15-2006, 04:19 PM	#6
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	School can be a big stress factor; I know, because I didn't get my degree until relatively recently. One thing I remember though is that I did much better in school when I fed myself wholesome food. Maybe you could approach it from that angle. After all, aren't you worth the effort? You know you are! Take care of you, and good luck!