mother-in-laws and food

sunshineinut · 02-26-2006, 07:05 PM

I did it- I ate just ate 84 carbs today - well really 75 of them were just at my mother-in-laws. I had a piece of cake and cheetos. I am so disgusted with myself, after I have been doing so well and not using food as an emotional soother. I know I will get up tomorrow and do LC like I have for the past 2 1/2 years but I can't believe I finally broke. Things have been boiling over with her for a while and when we showed up for Sunday dinner - she let it fly and I sat down to a two hour nail me to the wall question and answer session. I said everything "right, and nice, and politically correct" and nothing of what I really wanted to say. So, I thought I was doing so well, until my husband got up and brought back a piece of cake and a bag of cheetos. Instead of yelling or crying at her, I looked right at him and said "get me one of those now." He about had a heart attack - but went and got me one. And so I ate little bite after little bite until it was time to leave. And now, I feel so sick, and lethargic, and I have a TERRIBLE HEADACHE, and I am just extremely disappointed in myself. I have been in ketosis for months and now its all shot because of my stupid decisions and not speaking my mind. I'm sorry I just really needed to vent and continue on in the morning.

Tennessee · 02-26-2006, 07:21 PM

That's such a difficult situation, but I know you'll count it as an ugly lesson learned and put it behind you.

I'm sorry that happened to you

((((hugs)))

wjurls · 02-26-2006, 07:32 PM

As long as you don't fall off the wagon you will be just fine. I find a single bing every so often really doesn't affect me too much, aside from the gastrointestinal trouble right off the bat

. The long term is really moot if it isn't habitual. When I have a seriously high carb bing...aka..Thanksgiving dinner, I actually find that I don't get a headache but instead my upper lip goes numb for some reason, anyone else experience this?

clfatheree · 02-26-2006, 07:40 PM

Hey you have done great and you are at goal. One piece of cake is not going to ruin you so just get up in the morning take some asprin for the sugar hang over and do what you have done for the last 2 years!

ImEllie · 02-26-2006, 08:21 PM

Hey if we never have the chance to be bad, we'll never know what good feels like!!! Mother-in-Laws!!!

sexyfatchick · 02-26-2006, 08:28 PM

A few cheetos and a piece of cake won't break you.

Please stop beating yourself up and look at things realistically.

Put this day behind you, start fresh tomorrow and you'll be fine. Not to sound corny, but treat yourself as you would treat your best friend--would you tell your friend she's an idiot for doing what she did, or would you encourage her to pull herself up by her boot straps and look ahead?

Be kind to yourself.

SFC

birdlady · 02-26-2006, 08:34 PM

I have a m-i-l like that. Good news, it will make you a very good m-i-l cause you will never want to act like that.

flintchick · 02-26-2006, 10:11 PM

It may not be as bad as you think. In Dr.Atkins book, he states that if you MUST cheat, if you eat it all within 1 hour it shouldn't affect your blood sugar much. Just check, you may still be in ketosis. If not, it only takes a few days to get back into ketosis, just limit yourself to meat and eggs to get yourself back into the purple quickly.
Beth
PS.. If my MIL was interregating me like that, and my hubby didn't step in to help me, there would be trouble. Handing me the slice of cake would have been the least of his problems. I hope you feel better!

jada · 02-27-2006, 03:12 AM

it is so offensive in my country to say no thanks when visiting so what i do is put it in a doggy bag and save it for later, of cos i dnt eat it. sometimes when there is a barbeque i eat the meat on the plate and fiddle with the carbs as if i ate them, it works all the time. if i am surrounded by people and they pressure me too eat something i simply tell them im allergic to flour and wheat and i break out, that shuts them up

idioglossic · 02-27-2006, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineinut

I did it- I ate just ate 84 carbs today - well really 75 of them were just at my mother-in-laws. I had a piece of cake and cheetos. I am so disgusted with myself, after I have been doing so well and not using food as an emotional soother. I know I will get up tomorrow and do LC like I have for the past 2 1/2 years but I can't believe I finally broke. Things have been boiling over with her for a while and when we showed up for Sunday dinner - she let it fly and I sat down to a two hour nail me to the wall question and answer session. I said everything "right, and nice, and politically correct" and nothing of what I really wanted to say. So, I thought I was doing so well, until my husband got up and brought back a piece of cake and a bag of cheetos. Instead of yelling or crying at her, I looked right at him and said "get me one of those now." He about had a heart attack - but went and got me one. And so I ate little bite after little bite until it was time to leave. And now, I feel so sick, and lethargic, and I have a TERRIBLE HEADACHE, and I am just extremely disappointed in myself. I have been in ketosis for months and now its all shot because of my stupid decisions and not speaking my mind. I'm sorry I just really needed to vent and continue on in the morning.

It is ok..... just forget about it and get back to lcing... ketosis will be back soon..

sunshineinut · 02-27-2006, 04:19 AM

Hey you guys are great! And you know I am up and ready to walk out the door to the gym and I actually feel very optimistic and am moving on. It was a learning experience and there is no way I would go back to my sugar/flour/fat life. I do feel a little funny that I was so upset and scared last night that my actions would start a spiral downward - but I woke up this morning excited about my eating - as always - and just sure this is my way of life - I am very carb resistant and I am up 3 lbs but I can't believe I am still slightly pink in my ketosis strip. So, I will drop that water today or tomorrow and I feel great. Thanks again to all of your post - and p.s. I did have a long talk with my DH - so that he will definately speak up next time to his mom AND help me refuse the cake. Live and learn, eh?

Kimmer · 02-27-2006, 10:25 AM

Your relationship with MIL doesn't seem to do much for you. Not just about what happened with the food, but I can't imagine you felt very good about yourself after listening to negativity for 2 hours?

Maybe shorten your own visits with her and DH can visit with her alone more often.

JayFred · 02-27-2006, 10:29 AM

Bring on the water...lots of it...and as for MIL...CLEANSE THYSELF AND DON'T LET THE WITCH WIN...you have already started well by being optimistic and hitting the gym...it's past you...leave it there.

2Cents · 02-27-2006, 10:33 AM

I hear ya on the MIL issue. I could write volumes about her!!! It has taken me 7 years of marriage to figure out how to deal with her. I decided a year ago to let DH deal with her. Luckily they live 4 hours away. I visit at holidays and of course she is welcome to visit us and I am just polite. And I encourage DH to take the kids for weekend vists with them--but I generally don't go. But when I do, I bite my tongue and don't say anything (very hard for me) in response to her stupid comments. Add to this that she is a TERRIBLE cook. My FIL loves my cooking and always asks me to cook this or that for him.

I'm sure this doesn't help our relationship. But I will tell you that since I've taken all the emotion out of it, it does help. I still think she's crazy and pray every day that when son gets married, that I won't be that kid of MIL.

No advice, just know you aren't alone!

SazyFrazy · 02-27-2006, 10:36 AM

Do not be discourgaged... I drink sugar free RED BULL x 3 a day and water, no soda no tea, just water and RED BULL energy drinks I love them but accidently got the reg without noticing it and was wandering why i was craving..... Since I started I have NOT craved.... I realized after i drank 3 of them... OUCH...
but I love the LC I REALLY LOVE LC......
july 05 225 lbs
feb 06 184
goal 140
heeeee haaaaaaa
SazyFrazy

Yellobrix · 02-27-2006, 12:38 PM

Not that you have to answer publicly, because obviously it's your own private information, but why should you have to sit for a 2-hour grilling my your MIL? Is there any real reason you can't tell her to be nice or shut up?

My experience with people like that (including my own MIL) is that they groove on getting away with their behavior knowing all the while that you and everyone else are too nice to fight back.

Unless you truly and honestly owe her answers, who the heck does she think she is? And if she can get away with bullying you for two hours straight, the only thing she has learned is that you have given her your permission to be a total witch. You do not deserve to be mistreated! You do have the right to respect!

My MIL works really hard to control, insult, minimize, undercut, etc., everyone around her. She has two sons who won't speak to her at all. One who is an alcoholic. And my husband, who by freak accident has turned out normal. He is now willing to tell her, "When you can be nice, call me back," and then hang up on her. If we're in her home when she starts, we tell her, "It seems that your current mood isn't really right for visitors," and we take us & the kids elsehwere. This is a challenge, because she lives out of town. She has mostly stopped her behaviors with us. The main reason we started coming down hard about it is because we never wanted our kids to think it was OK for someone to do that to them. We're not nasty -- we just draw a line and refuse to let her cross it. Period.

otterfarmgirl · 02-27-2006, 05:37 PM

Right on Yellobrix!! Great advice. I feel so very empowered by your post, I almost wish I was seeing th MIL soon.

Now to put it into use in my own life.

Spider_Lily · 02-27-2006, 06:59 PM

My motherinlaw can,t cook so I don,t have that problem.Thank God

Yellobrix · 02-28-2006, 07:16 AM

I'm glad you feel inspired! It can be so hard to stand up to family members, diet or no diet. I just think about how many times in my life I have let someone else make me angry, then take it and binge instead of telling them to quick step to h3ll. Like, does it make any sense to be willing to harm myself instead of giving someone what they truly have coming? Truth is, I'm a recovering pushover! LOL!

02-26-2006, 07:05 PM	#1
sunshineinut Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: UT Posts: 420 Gallery: sunshineinut Stats: 246/135/135 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug 2003	mother-in-laws and food I did it- I ate just ate 84 carbs today - well really 75 of them were just at my mother-in-laws. I had a piece of cake and cheetos. I am so disgusted with myself, after I have been doing so well and not using food as an emotional soother. I know I will get up tomorrow and do LC like I have for the past 2 1/2 years but I can't believe I finally broke. Things have been boiling over with her for a while and when we showed up for Sunday dinner - she let it fly and I sat down to a two hour nail me to the wall question and answer session. I said everything "right, and nice, and politically correct" and nothing of what I really wanted to say. So, I thought I was doing so well, until my husband got up and brought back a piece of cake and a bag of cheetos. Instead of yelling or crying at her, I looked right at him and said "get me one of those now." He about had a heart attack - but went and got me one. And so I ate little bite after little bite until it was time to leave. And now, I feel so sick, and lethargic, and I have a TERRIBLE HEADACHE, and I am just extremely disappointed in myself. I have been in ketosis for months and now its all shot because of my stupid decisions and not speaking my mind. I'm sorry I just really needed to vent and continue on in the morning.

02-27-2006, 10:33 AM	#14
2Cents Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Sweet Carolina Girl Posts: 88 Gallery: 2Cents Stats: 26/20/12, 5'9" WOE: Low Carb Start Date: Jan 2006	I hear ya on the MIL issue. I could write volumes about her!!! It has taken me 7 years of marriage to figure out how to deal with her. I decided a year ago to let DH deal with her. Luckily they live 4 hours away. I visit at holidays and of course she is welcome to visit us and I am just polite. And I encourage DH to take the kids for weekend vists with them--but I generally don't go. But when I do, I bite my tongue and don't say anything (very hard for me) in response to her stupid comments. Add to this that she is a TERRIBLE cook. My FIL loves my cooking and always asks me to cook this or that for him. I'm sure this doesn't help our relationship. But I will tell you that since I've taken all the emotion out of it, it does help. I still think she's crazy and pray every day that when son gets married, that I won't be that kid of MIL. No advice, just know you aren't alone! __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Start 01/02/06 Size 26 01/23/06 Size 24 04/27/06 Size 22 10/07/06 Size 20 Mini Goals 12/24/06 Size 18 ***Today is the first day of the rest of my life***

02-27-2006, 12:38 PM	#16
Yellobrix Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 899 Gallery: Yellobrix Stats: 199/174/145 WOE: Atkins + CO Start Date: Over & Over... 'Til I Get It Right!	Not that you have to answer publicly, because obviously it's your own private information, but why should you have to sit for a 2-hour grilling my your MIL? Is there any real reason you can't tell her to be nice or shut up? My experience with people like that (including my own MIL) is that they groove on getting away with their behavior knowing all the while that you and everyone else are too nice to fight back. Unless you truly and honestly owe her answers, who the heck does she think she is? And if she can get away with bullying you for two hours straight, the only thing she has learned is that you have given her your permission to be a total witch. You do not deserve to be mistreated! You do have the right to respect! My MIL works really hard to control, insult, minimize, undercut, etc., everyone around her. She has two sons who won't speak to her at all. One who is an alcoholic. And my husband, who by freak accident has turned out normal. He is now willing to tell her, "When you can be nice, call me back," and then hang up on her. If we're in her home when she starts, we tell her, "It seems that your current mood isn't really right for visitors," and we take us & the kids elsehwere. This is a challenge, because she lives out of town. She has mostly stopped her behaviors with us. The main reason we started coming down hard about it is because we never wanted our kids to think it was OK for someone to do that to them. We're not nasty -- we just draw a line and refuse to let her cross it. Period. Last edited by Yellobrix : 02-27-2006 at 12:40 PM.

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02-26-2006, 07:21 PM	#2
Tennessee Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: East Tennessee Posts: 882 Gallery: Tennessee WOE: Low carb, high protein Start Date: 10/21/2005 restart 7/15/08	That's such a difficult situation, but I know you'll count it as an ugly lesson learned and put it behind you. I'm sorry that happened to you ((((hugs)))

02-26-2006, 07:32 PM	#3
wjurls Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Riverside, Ca Posts: 250 Gallery: wjurls Stats: 5' 10" 270/181/170 Start Date: April 2003	As long as you don't fall off the wagon you will be just fine. I find a single bing every so often really doesn't affect me too much, aside from the gastrointestinal trouble right off the bat . The long term is really moot if it isn't habitual. When I have a seriously high carb bing...aka..Thanksgiving dinner, I actually find that I don't get a headache but instead my upper lip goes numb for some reason, anyone else experience this?

02-26-2006, 07:40 PM	#4
clfatheree Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: tomball, texas Posts: 556 Gallery: clfatheree Stats: 211.8/182.0/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 1/2/2006	Hey you have done great and you are at goal. One piece of cake is not going to ruin you so just get up in the morning take some asprin for the sugar hang over and do what you have done for the last 2 years!

02-26-2006, 08:21 PM	#5
ImEllie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: St Petersburg Florida Posts: 172 Gallery: ImEllie Stats: 232/213/150 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: restart 02-15-06	Hey if we never have the chance to be bad, we'll never know what good feels like!!! Mother-in-Laws!!!

02-26-2006, 08:28 PM	#6
sexyfatchick Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: On the coast in California Posts: 262 Gallery: sexyfatchick Stats: 235/163.5/130; 5'8"; WOE: Lean for Life Start Date: January 16, 2006	A few cheetos and a piece of cake won't break you. Please stop beating yourself up and look at things realistically. Put this day behind you, start fresh tomorrow and you'll be fine. Not to sound corny, but treat yourself as you would treat your best friend--would you tell your friend she's an idiot for doing what she did, or would you encourage her to pull herself up by her boot straps and look ahead? Be kind to yourself. SFC

02-26-2006, 08:34 PM	#7
birdlady MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: south louisiana Posts: 2,856 Gallery: birdlady Stats: 214/170:( /149(?) ( 5'3)1.3.08 WOE: atkins/lower fat/more veggies Start Date: june03	I have a m-i-l like that. Good news, it will make you a very good m-i-l cause you will never want to act like that.

02-26-2006, 10:11 PM	#8
flintchick MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Flint, MI Posts: 1,079 Gallery: flintchick Stats: 142/138.2/128 WOE: Wendy Chant "Crack the Fat Loss Code" Start Date: restart july 21, 08	It may not be as bad as you think. In Dr.Atkins book, he states that if you MUST cheat, if you eat it all within 1 hour it shouldn't affect your blood sugar much. Just check, you may still be in ketosis. If not, it only takes a few days to get back into ketosis, just limit yourself to meat and eggs to get yourself back into the purple quickly. Beth PS.. If my MIL was interregating me like that, and my hubby didn't step in to help me, there would be trouble. Handing me the slice of cake would have been the least of his problems. I hope you feel better!

02-27-2006, 03:12 AM	#9
jada MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: johannesburg, South Africa Posts: 1,127 Gallery: jada WOE: low carb Start Date: 28/07/05	it is so offensive in my country to say no thanks when visiting so what i do is put it in a doggy bag and save it for later, of cos i dnt eat it. sometimes when there is a barbeque i eat the meat on the plate and fiddle with the carbs as if i ate them, it works all the time. if i am surrounded by people and they pressure me too eat something i simply tell them im allergic to flour and wheat and i break out, that shuts them up

02-27-2006, 04:19 AM	#11
sunshineinut Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: UT Posts: 420 Gallery: sunshineinut Stats: 246/135/135 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Aug 2003	Hey you guys are great! And you know I am up and ready to walk out the door to the gym and I actually feel very optimistic and am moving on. It was a learning experience and there is no way I would go back to my sugar/flour/fat life. I do feel a little funny that I was so upset and scared last night that my actions would start a spiral downward - but I woke up this morning excited about my eating - as always - and just sure this is my way of life - I am very carb resistant and I am up 3 lbs but I can't believe I am still slightly pink in my ketosis strip. So, I will drop that water today or tomorrow and I feel great. Thanks again to all of your post - and p.s. I did have a long talk with my DH - so that he will definately speak up next time to his mom AND help me refuse the cake. Live and learn, eh?

02-27-2006, 10:25 AM	#12
Kimmer Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: California Posts: 19,133 Gallery: Kimmer Stats: 318/118/125 WOE: Kimkins	Your relationship with MIL doesn't seem to do much for you. Not just about what happened with the food, but I can't imagine you felt very good about yourself after listening to negativity for 2 hours? Maybe shorten your own visits with her and DH can visit with her alone more often.

02-27-2006, 10:29 AM	#13
JayFred Head Cheerleader! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: IL Posts: 1,273 Gallery: JayFred	Bring on the water...lots of it...and as for MIL...CLEANSE THYSELF AND DON'T LET THE WITCH WIN...you have already started well by being optimistic and hitting the gym...it's past you...leave it there.

02-27-2006, 10:36 AM	#15
SazyFrazy Guest Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 12 Gallery: SazyFrazy Stats: 301 in 1990 July 05-225/184/140 WOE: Atkins 6- 3/4 days a week-Friday night eat @ Moms Start Date: July 2005	Do not be discourgaged... I drink sugar free RED BULL x 3 a day and water, no soda no tea, just water and RED BULL energy drinks I love them but accidently got the reg without noticing it and was wandering why i was craving..... Since I started I have NOT craved.... I realized after i drank 3 of them... OUCH... but I love the LC I REALLY LOVE LC...... july 05 225 lbs feb 06 184 goal 140 heeeee haaaaaaa SazyFrazy

02-27-2006, 05:37 PM	#17
otterfarmgirl Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 74 Gallery: otterfarmgirl Stats: 190/178/145 WOE: Atkins Start Date: October 2004	Right on Yellobrix!! Great advice. I feel so very empowered by your post, I almost wish I was seeing th MIL soon. Now to put it into use in my own life.

02-27-2006, 06:59 PM	#18
Spider_Lily MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Alabama Posts: 1,188 Gallery: Spider_Lily Stats: 224/198/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: recommit 5-5-08	My motherinlaw can,t cook so I don,t have that problem.Thank God

02-28-2006, 07:16 AM	#19
Yellobrix Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 899 Gallery: Yellobrix Stats: 199/174/145 WOE: Atkins + CO Start Date: Over & Over... 'Til I Get It Right!	I'm glad you feel inspired! It can be so hard to stand up to family members, diet or no diet. I just think about how many times in my life I have let someone else make me angry, then take it and binge instead of telling them to quick step to h3ll. Like, does it make any sense to be willing to harm myself instead of giving someone what they truly have coming? Truth is, I'm a recovering pushover! LOL!