Military Mom? I'm new at this please help!

beetgreen · 02-24-2006, 08:46 AM

My ds21 just left Tues. for basic training in the army. He will be at Ft Sill in OK. until May 6 and then on to Ft. Sam Houston in Tx. for 16 weeks of medic training.
He is my oldest child and I am just miserable. I thought I would be ok with this as I know he definately needs some direction in his life and this will surely help. But I just cry all of the time. I can not bear not being able to even talk to him. I know so little about how all of this works and therefore I have no idea when I will hear from him. He was told that he could take his cell phone but not really assured that he would be able to use it. I have tried to call it but it is shut off as I expected it would be.
I know if I am miserable now, I will be even more so after he gets finished with his medic training and they ship him off somewhere where he will be in harms way.
I am just asking for a little information from any of you who "have been there" on what to expect during these next 9 weeks that he is in basic and how you all managed to make yourself feel better during this time.

Thanks for any help,
Darcie

kacee1958 · 02-24-2006, 09:36 AM

I've not been there in this specific way, but a couple of years my oldest DS lived in France for 18 months. Does your son have access to the Internet? Email saved my sanity. I can tell you that I've really suffered from "empty nest" over the past years as my three boys have all gone their separate ways, all some distance away. It's not a cliche (empty nest), it really happens to some of us. Just realize your feelings for what they are, and if I could offer some advice, don't let your son know how miserable you're feeling. You know how much he needs your support. But from my experience, you're going to be miserable, and it probably will be for a while. My prayers are with you.

beetgreen · 02-24-2006, 10:17 AM

Kacee,
Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if or when he will have access to the internet but hopefully it will be soon. Because he is 21, we kind of let him handle this whole enlisting thing himself, therefore I know very little about what is going on. He did mention that I would be getting a package in the mail with information but other than info about his graduation in May I don't know what it will include. That is why I started this thread, to kind of pick other military mom's brains about what to expect from here on in.
I definately believe in the empty nest syndrom. My dd19 left for college in Aug and I was miserable then too. The thing is with her, she is only 30 miles away. I can talk to her or see her whenever I want.
I really tried not to let him know how bad I was feeling when he left but it didn't work. I just cried like a baby.

Thank you for your prayers,
Darcie

Tilla · 02-24-2006, 03:15 PM

I am a "surviving" mother of 2 Navy men. I won't tell you it isn't difficult, because it is, especially during holidays. The year my youngest son was in the Persian Gulf, I could not listen to "I'll Be Home for Christmas" without boo-hooing. But you (and he) will get through it and you will be so proud of him! The best advice I can give is SEND MAIL...lots of mail. He probably can't receive packages during basic, but after that, send stuff. They love getting mail and cookies and candy, etc. At Christmas, I sent my son a small, lighted Christmas tree. I also sent "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and some other Christmas movies. The guys loved them! They set up the tree and made a check-out list for the movies to keep track of them.
If you can attend his boot camp graduation, do it. It will mean a lot to you and to him. You will be so surprised at how mature he is. The men who have family attend usually get a day off to spend anywhere you want to go.
Keep him up-to-date on what's going on at home. They want to hear even minor details about people they know. Sometimes it's hard to find things to write about, but write anyway. Send pictures.
E-mail will keep you in touch though there will be times he may not be able to tell you much about where he is or what he is doing.
Just be supportive of his decision and let him know how proud you are of him. What he's doing is important--never doubt that. You will survive this. You sent them a boy; they will send you a man.

fluffyman · 02-24-2006, 03:16 PM

Hi, Darcie. I'm an Army husband. My wife is a medevac pilot for the Army, and we are in Germany. I can sympathize with you - my wife went off to warrant officer school and I had little to no contact for 8 weeks. I know this is hard for you. It's hard for your son, too. Basic is a time when the Army will break new recruits spirits both mentally and physically. They do this because only then can a new recruit learn to become part of a team and learn the "Army" way of doing things. They also learn self respect and self confidence. The reason they cut off outside contact is that it will slow down this process and distract the recruits. Your son is very busy and very tired, but he will be fine. You can write him letters that he may or may not be able to read, but he won't be able to write you back. At least it's an outlet for you, and he will get to read them one day. As boot progresses, he will earn phone privileges. It won't be often or long, but he will eventually be able to call you. It may not be until the day before graduation though. It all depends on his squad's performance.

Your son will be fine - he will emerge a tough, self confident soldier who has earned the respect of his DIs and everyone in his class. You should be proud that you have raised a son with the courage and devotion to become a soldier. Thank you.

Dreamer37 · 02-24-2006, 03:35 PM

I am an Army Mom! My DS is 21 and has been in the Army for 4 years now..
It's not easy! Write letters everyday! I don't care if you really have nothing to say just write!! Don't expect a phone call for awhile yet...They have to earn those! Be prepared for when he does call and may not be in the best of moods...My son and I had a pact before he left that I would not tell him I missed him at all the whole time he is away from home and always have just positive reinforments to say!! My DS is now in Ft Sill OK for drill sgt school and will be finished with that in another week..Then he's off to Ft Knox, KY for a year! This is extremely difficult for me and it's something you do not get used to. He was one of the first to be in Iraq and spent a year there...All I can say is just try your best to stay busy and remember that he is doing this for himself! Unfortunately they do grow up and move on and it hurts like crazy!

beetgreen · 02-25-2006, 04:43 AM

Oh you are all so sweet!

You have made me feel so much better and so proud of my son. We do have a trip planned to Ft. Sill in May for his graduation. It is a big deal to take this big family on an outing like that but we're going to do it. I talked to all of the kids last night about letter writing. We figure if we each pick a day of the week to send something, he should get something almost everyday. We don't have his address yet but as soon as we get it we will start our writing.

I would love to talk to you all more about military life but for now it is ds16's turn for attention. He is wrestling in a difficult tournament today trying to advance to the State tournament.
Darcie

beetgreen · 02-26-2006, 06:28 AM

Good news.. my ds16 took 4th at the wrestiling meet and will be going to "state" in two weeks!

Bad news.. when we returned home from the meet there was a message on our answering machine from our ds21. He just briefly said that he was caught up in proccessing and wouldn't be actually starting his basic training until Mar 3. He said that he would try to call again sometime. He sounded terrible. Both dh and I agreed that he souned incredibly sad

. I suppose maybe he is second guessing his decision at this point but I can only guess on that. Gee I wish he had thought to call one of our cell phones instead of the house phone. Oh well, maybe he will be able to call again today.

Darcie

Dreamer37 · 02-26-2006, 01:52 PM

There will be sad phonecalls from processing..They have nothing to do there and they sit and think about the decision they made to join..Once they get to basic it will get better!! Not for a week or two but trust me he will be ok...When you do talk to him be very positive and uplifting and do not let him hear your tears or sadness!!! Very very important!!!!

ArmyWife04 · 02-27-2006, 05:30 AM

Army Wife here, hubby just returned after being in the sand for 15 months.

It's very hard to be on this end, but be proud of what your son is doing, medics don't get enough praise, what a tough job!

I will tell you that it gets easier as time goes on and then you can be driving to the grocery and just break down for no apparent reason. Stay busy and avoid the news-at this point you have no idea what they will do with him when he graduates-I understand that they will be rotating less and less to the 'sand' and the Army has a mind of it's own.

As far as communications go, he has to earn the 'priveledge' while in basic, but after that depending on his job he will be able to be in contact regularly, my dh and I depending on IM while he was gone, cell phone is a huge NO when overseas, the roaming is a killer, but your converstion can be intercepted. Also don't expect many details, there are things they just cant say.

Good luck to you, you will make it, I promise!

beetgreen · 02-28-2006, 11:28 AM

Thanks again for all of your comforting information ladies (and gent). He called again on Sunday while I was at church but my ds16 did get to talk to him. He said he sounded ok but was a bit bored. I guess that will change Fri when he officially starts basic. I just wish I could have been here to talk to him as I know that it will be many weeks before he can call again. Do they really have to do pushups as punishments for letters received from home? We are planning on bombarding him with letters once we get his address but I don't want to do that if he will be punished.

fluffyman · 02-28-2006, 11:45 AM

Letters will be fine. He will probably earn mail privileges along the way. If not, he will have a bunch of sweet letters to read after graduation.

Rottie · 02-28-2006, 12:43 PM

I'm a Army brat as well as a former Army wife. I cannot stress enough how important a taste of home will be to your son. Now before you throw those cookies in the oven, he has to get through basic first and then AITbefore he can get those packages. Fort Sam is a great place for him to go. I live here in SA and can tell you that BAMC, where he will train at, is one of the premier hospitals for medic training. Most of all, be proud of him and always remind him of this. Once he is ready for those care packages, send him the littliest of things to remind him of home. When my husband was away for extended periods of time he loved recieving tootsie roll lolliopops in his care package and all of the other guys was offering up trades to him for them. So you see little things like that do make the difference. He will have some transition time in which he will run through the emotions but in the end its the self respect and confidence he will need to continue on.

Be a strong, proud mom for him and continue to give him those "mom" touches he will need as soon as he can accept them. As for yourself, you have to understand this is something he wants to do and although it may be tough on him, he will be for the better. Best of luck to you and him!

beetgreen · 03-02-2006, 05:08 AM

Rottie,
Thanks for all of the information. I am very proud of my son and can not wait to talk to him so that I can tell him so.
He can not get packages even in AIT? Well that leads me to ask another question. We were planning on using our vacation time in July to go and see him at Ft Sam, will that not be allowed? I guess I thought that while he was training there he would be able to "get away" on some evenings and weekends to visit with us. Am I wrong on this?

Darcie

Rottie · 03-02-2006, 08:25 AM

Advanced Individual Training usually can have visitors and receive packages. I double checked that with DH and he confirmed it should be allowed unless the individual's unit disallows it. He also stated the unit may restrict visitors to only on weekends. SA will be HOT in July so prepare! Take him to Mi Tierra for lunch and enjoy the RiverWalk.

beetgreen · 03-02-2006, 01:00 PM

Thanks for the lunch tip. Can I pick your brain somemore on what's to do in SA when the time gets closer? I hate HOT but I love ds so I will grin and bear it. Is it a dry heat like Vegas? I can handle that dry heat, it is the humidity I don't like so much.
Darcie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rottie

Advanced Individual Training usually can have visitors and receive packages. I double checked that with DH and he confirmed it should be allowed unless the individual's unit disallows it. He also stated the unit may restrict visitors to only on weekends. SA will be HOT in July so prepare! Take him to Mi Tierra for lunch and enjoy the RiverWalk.

beetgreen · 03-03-2006, 01:53 PM

My ds just called and I finally got to talk to him. He said that the beginning of basic for him has been delayed once again until next Wed. I guess this will change the date of his graduation and the date he is due to start AIT.
He sounded good. He said it is kind of boring but he has hooked up with a few guys who he really likes. He thinks Ok. is nothing but a dust bowl as he has yet to see a blade of grass. He likes the army clothes especially the boots. He said the food is just ok but they get plenty of it. He wanted to know what everyone is up to here. Over all he sounded good and was still happy with his choice to join. He realizes that life is going to get much harder next week but he is ok with that.

Mary A. Miller · 03-03-2006, 02:52 PM

Hi Darci,

Hugs to you. I'm basically a 'looker' on this bb but when I was your post I knew I had to reply to you. My ds19 (one and only) left for basic training on July 28,2005, for the air force. Although AF BMT is 6 weeks, I felt it was the longest 6 weeks of my life. Hang in there!! I'm coming from the AF side of this so things will be different. We didn't hear from ds until 2 weeks after induction and that was only to give us his address. His first words were 'it sucks here'. I realized he was probably having a harder time about it than me. When we got his address we sent as many letters as we could. Girlfriend sent pics of them during school activities. I sent jokes and newspaper clippings so he could keep up on the news. Check out military mom websites for more information. The main thing is to let you ds know how much you love him and are proud of him...constantly. DS also didn't have time to call us when he was allowed to call since there were long lines at the few pay phones. On the AF side of this, he couldn't receive a lot of stuff since he would be moving to tech school immediatly aft BMT and could only take to bags...suitcase for clothes and materials and duffle bag. I sent pages of jokes separately so he could send them around the dorm. I also found out that sometimes the instructors will 'catch' the pics and show them around or make fun of them. Nothing harmfull but just to keep them on their toes. They are going to be caught for something anyways.

You keep your chin up. I'm proud of your ds too!

beetgreen · 03-06-2006, 06:53 AM

Mary,
Thanks for the reply and all of the great ideas. I know what you mean about the phone calls. When he called Friday, I asked him if he was limited as to how long he could talk, he said no but that there were 30 guys in line behind him so just to be fair he needed to make our call short. I wonder why they don't just put in more pay phones? Seems weird to me. We are all geared up to a letter sending campaign as soon as we receive his address. With so many of us here to write, he should almost never have to go a day without mail. If they don't give it to him until the end of boot camp he will have quite a pile.

Rottie · 03-06-2006, 08:31 AM

Oh letters are great! He sounds like he is gearing up for the challenge and is making some important friendships that will help pull one another along through basic.

SA is very hot in August (the hottest month) and yes there is humidity. However, I can tell you that we have the voted #1 waterpark here as well. The thing is huge and so much fun! We also have Six Flags and Sea World. Indoors wise, we have a mall downtown that has a river that runs through it. Lots of people visit it. We have the Alamo of course as well as the typical Ripley's and the likes. Feel free to ask me anything you want. Hang in there!

LeanLioness · 03-06-2006, 02:58 PM

I was in the army myself and went to basic at Ft Jackson, SC. We were able to make phone calls on Sundays and we received mail everyday after the first week in basic training.....

We even had girls that received care packages with all kinds of goodies in it from their friends and family members. Your son will be fine. I was 16 when I went into the Army.....and I did fine.

beetgreen · 03-17-2006, 12:14 PM

I received a letter on Monday from my son. It was a good letter, he was in a good mood and was happy with his decision to join. He said the drills sergeants yelled but it was all justified. He has made a good friend also from Mi. so I am really happy with that. Now that I have his address we will be writing often. He did ask for lots of letters.
We see on the caller id that he did call again Sunday night and we missed it. From now on we are going to be sure to have someone home on Sundays as that seems to be his day to call. I am a little nervous to get his next phone call as he has now gone through one week of actual basic.I know that he was anxious to finally start after sitting in the welcoming batallion for almost 3 weeks but I am afraid he will quickly be losing his "it's not so bad here" attitude.

Thanks for all of your encouragement,
Darcie

Rottie · 03-17-2006, 01:43 PM

See beetgreen, it isn't all that bad is it? He's most likely doing just fine and sounds like he is starting to enjoy it even a little. Glad to hear all is well!

Bubbles · 03-22-2006, 11:00 AM

My heart goes out to you. My DS is only 11 but I dread the college/armed service leaving day already. Keep your chin up and I am so glad you are writing each other. When my DB was in the Navy even a short postcard brightened his days.

Island Blue · 04-18-2006, 12:48 AM

God Bless You and your Son!

I'm an Army Mom! Basic is tough, I'm not going to kid you. Your son's cell phone will probably be locked up with all his other civilian stuff. You should get an address soon where you can write to him - go NOW and get a long-distance calling card (WalMart/Target/Sam's Club/Costco) and photocopy both sides so you can refill it. Load it with about $25 and write his name on it with a permanent Sharpie and mail it to him. He can use that at any phone booth on Post - and try to stay home on Sundays, that's usually when they can call you during Basic. They may have to keep it short, other guys will be in line at the pay phones!

WRITE OFTEN. He will want to hear about day-to-day regular stuff. You cannot write too much!! However, do not put ANYTHING on the envelope except his name and a stamp - hopefully an American flag stamp. Anything extra will get him pushups. A lot of pushups.

You can send pictures - but only those that won't embarrass your son. We sent only a few - family and pets pics that he could post inside his locker (like maybe 3 or 4 total over his 14 weeks of Basic - his was Extended for SF). And be aware that they do HOLD mail - our son would get 10-15 letters at a time once or twice a week (we all wrote him a lot!)

I printed out a TON of humor from the internet and sent that - our son shared it with the guys that DIDN'T get a letter almost every day.

If you feel you must send cookies - SEND IT TO THE COMMANDING OFFICER for the ENTIRE company (like 500 cookies - we did this twice). We also put the recruiter's office as the return address so it couldn't be tracked to our son (his friend got an Easter basket and had to skip up and down singing in front of the entire company in the Air Force Basic Training - note to self!).

Hang in there - you have raised an amazing young man and we are all in his debt. My Army son is an 18Delta - once he graduated from Basic he got a cell phone and we have had the amazing privilege of talking to him 3-4 times a week since August 2004.

And he only calls me AFTER he lands safely from flinging his happy butt out of an airplane (he has to jump at least once a month to keep his Airborne status - Gack!).

God Bless You and your Son. We are all in our Military's debt!

PM me if you'd like...

Barbara Ray · 04-18-2006, 08:12 PM

I'm not a military mom - but I was in the military myself - the Marine Corps - and BELIEVE me your sons or daughters miss YOU as much as you miss them. However, just like anyone leaving home - it does get a little easier with time on both ends. I remember once I got out of Boot Camp and got to my permanent duty station I talked to my mother EVERY day - that was waaaaay back in the 60's and phone calls were a FORTUNE - of course - I reversed the charges! It wasn't long before I developed friendships and eventually met my husband. Which just about happens to all our "kiddies" and it doesn't matter whether they're military - away at college or just living their own lives. My son lives only 45 minutes from me - but has his own life (he's 38) so we don't see each other all that often - we talk often but his weekends are filled with all kinds of "honey do" type things.

02-24-2006, 09:36 AM	#2
kacee1958 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: NE Georgia Posts: 553 Gallery: kacee1958 Stats: 200/191/145 WOE: Atkins Start Date: restart 12/29/08	I've not been there in this specific way, but a couple of years my oldest DS lived in France for 18 months. Does your son have access to the Internet? Email saved my sanity. I can tell you that I've really suffered from "empty nest" over the past years as my three boys have all gone their separate ways, all some distance away. It's not a cliche (empty nest), it really happens to some of us. Just realize your feelings for what they are, and if I could offer some advice, don't let your son know how miserable you're feeling. You know how much he needs your support. But from my experience, you're going to be miserable, and it probably will be for a while. My prayers are with you. __________________ kacee

02-24-2006, 03:15 PM	#4
Tilla Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 653 Gallery: Tilla Stats: 235/176/145 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 01/02/03	I am a "surviving" mother of 2 Navy men. I won't tell you it isn't difficult, because it is, especially during holidays. The year my youngest son was in the Persian Gulf, I could not listen to "I'll Be Home for Christmas" without boo-hooing. But you (and he) will get through it and you will be so proud of him! The best advice I can give is SEND MAIL...lots of mail. He probably can't receive packages during basic, but after that, send stuff. They love getting mail and cookies and candy, etc. At Christmas, I sent my son a small, lighted Christmas tree. I also sent "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and some other Christmas movies. The guys loved them! They set up the tree and made a check-out list for the movies to keep track of them. If you can attend his boot camp graduation, do it. It will mean a lot to you and to him. You will be so surprised at how mature he is. The men who have family attend usually get a day off to spend anywhere you want to go. Keep him up-to-date on what's going on at home. They want to hear even minor details about people they know. Sometimes it's hard to find things to write about, but write anyway. Send pictures. E-mail will keep you in touch though there will be times he may not be able to tell you much about where he is or what he is doing. Just be supportive of his decision and let him know how proud you are of him. What he's doing is important--never doubt that. You will survive this. You sent them a boy; they will send you a man. __________________ Linda

02-24-2006, 03:16 PM	#5
fluffyman Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ramstein, Germany Posts: 152 Gallery: fluffyman Stats: 236/236/190 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 12/12/05	Hi, Darcie. I'm an Army husband. My wife is a medevac pilot for the Army, and we are in Germany. I can sympathize with you - my wife went off to warrant officer school and I had little to no contact for 8 weeks. I know this is hard for you. It's hard for your son, too. Basic is a time when the Army will break new recruits spirits both mentally and physically. They do this because only then can a new recruit learn to become part of a team and learn the "Army" way of doing things. They also learn self respect and self confidence. The reason they cut off outside contact is that it will slow down this process and distract the recruits. Your son is very busy and very tired, but he will be fine. You can write him letters that he may or may not be able to read, but he won't be able to write you back. At least it's an outlet for you, and he will get to read them one day. As boot progresses, he will earn phone privileges. It won't be often or long, but he will eventually be able to call you. It may not be until the day before graduation though. It all depends on his squad's performance. Your son will be fine - he will emerge a tough, self confident soldier who has earned the respect of his DIs and everyone in his class. You should be proud that you have raised a son with the courage and devotion to become a soldier. Thank you. __________________ Rick aka Fluffyman 12/26/05 235 02/05/05 221

02-24-2006, 03:35 PM	#6
Dreamer37 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Montana Posts: 5,332 Gallery: Dreamer37 Stats: 187/169/130 Start Date: october 26th restarted 1/29/08	I am an Army Mom! My DS is 21 and has been in the Army for 4 years now.. It's not easy! Write letters everyday! I don't care if you really have nothing to say just write!! Don't expect a phone call for awhile yet...They have to earn those! Be prepared for when he does call and may not be in the best of moods...My son and I had a pact before he left that I would not tell him I missed him at all the whole time he is away from home and always have just positive reinforments to say!! My DS is now in Ft Sill OK for drill sgt school and will be finished with that in another week..Then he's off to Ft Knox, KY for a year! This is extremely difficult for me and it's something you do not get used to. He was one of the first to be in Iraq and spent a year there...All I can say is just try your best to stay busy and remember that he is doing this for himself! Unfortunately they do grow up and move on and it hurts like crazy! __________________ 2/6 179 2/15 177 2/25 174 3/12 175 3/19 173 4/9 174 5/25 169!!!!! finally

02-27-2006, 05:30 AM	#10
ArmyWife04 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 292 Blog Entries: 1 Gallery: ArmyWife04 WOE: Cracking the Code! Start Date: upon awakening daily!	Army Wife here, hubby just returned after being in the sand for 15 months. It's very hard to be on this end, but be proud of what your son is doing, medics don't get enough praise, what a tough job! I will tell you that it gets easier as time goes on and then you can be driving to the grocery and just break down for no apparent reason. Stay busy and avoid the news-at this point you have no idea what they will do with him when he graduates-I understand that they will be rotating less and less to the 'sand' and the Army has a mind of it's own. As far as communications go, he has to earn the 'priveledge' while in basic, but after that depending on his job he will be able to be in contact regularly, my dh and I depending on IM while he was gone, cell phone is a huge NO when overseas, the roaming is a killer, but your converstion can be intercepted. Also don't expect many details, there are things they just cant say. Good luck to you, you will make it, I promise! __________________ on my way to goal

02-24-2006, 08:46 AM	#1
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Military Mom? I'm new at this please help! My ds21 just left Tues. for basic training in the army. He will be at Ft Sill in OK. until May 6 and then on to Ft. Sam Houston in Tx. for 16 weeks of medic training. He is my oldest child and I am just miserable. I thought I would be ok with this as I know he definately needs some direction in his life and this will surely help. But I just cry all of the time. I can not bear not being able to even talk to him. I know so little about how all of this works and therefore I have no idea when I will hear from him. He was told that he could take his cell phone but not really assured that he would be able to use it. I have tried to call it but it is shut off as I expected it would be. I know if I am miserable now, I will be even more so after he gets finished with his medic training and they ship him off somewhere where he will be in harms way. I am just asking for a little information from any of you who "have been there" on what to expect during these next 9 weeks that he is in basic and how you all managed to make yourself feel better during this time. Thanks for any help, Darcie __________________ beetgreen (momof7) I am a caring mother. My son has gone to war... My mind is filled with worries That I have never known before Everyday I try to keep my thoughts from turning black. I may be scared, but I am proud. Because My son has got your back......

02-24-2006, 10:17 AM	#3
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Kacee, Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if or when he will have access to the internet but hopefully it will be soon. Because he is 21, we kind of let him handle this whole enlisting thing himself, therefore I know very little about what is going on. He did mention that I would be getting a package in the mail with information but other than info about his graduation in May I don't know what it will include. That is why I started this thread, to kind of pick other military mom's brains about what to expect from here on in. I definately believe in the empty nest syndrom. My dd19 left for college in Aug and I was miserable then too. The thing is with her, she is only 30 miles away. I can talk to her or see her whenever I want. I really tried not to let him know how bad I was feeling when he left but it didn't work. I just cried like a baby. Thank you for your prayers, Darcie

02-25-2006, 04:43 AM	#7
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Oh you are all so sweet! You have made me feel so much better and so proud of my son. We do have a trip planned to Ft. Sill in May for his graduation. It is a big deal to take this big family on an outing like that but we're going to do it. I talked to all of the kids last night about letter writing. We figure if we each pick a day of the week to send something, he should get something almost everyday. We don't have his address yet but as soon as we get it we will start our writing. I would love to talk to you all more about military life but for now it is ds16's turn for attention. He is wrestling in a difficult tournament today trying to advance to the State tournament. Darcie

02-26-2006, 06:28 AM	#8
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Good news.. my ds16 took 4th at the wrestiling meet and will be going to "state" in two weeks! Bad news.. when we returned home from the meet there was a message on our answering machine from our ds21. He just briefly said that he was caught up in proccessing and wouldn't be actually starting his basic training until Mar 3. He said that he would try to call again sometime. He sounded terrible. Both dh and I agreed that he souned incredibly sad . I suppose maybe he is second guessing his decision at this point but I can only guess on that. Gee I wish he had thought to call one of our cell phones instead of the house phone. Oh well, maybe he will be able to call again today. Darcie

02-26-2006, 01:52 PM	#9
Dreamer37 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Montana Posts: 5,332 Gallery: Dreamer37 Stats: 187/169/130 Start Date: october 26th restarted 1/29/08	There will be sad phonecalls from processing..They have nothing to do there and they sit and think about the decision they made to join..Once they get to basic it will get better!! Not for a week or two but trust me he will be ok...When you do talk to him be very positive and uplifting and do not let him hear your tears or sadness!!! Very very important!!!!

02-28-2006, 11:28 AM	#11
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Thanks again for all of your comforting information ladies (and gent). He called again on Sunday while I was at church but my ds16 did get to talk to him. He said he sounded ok but was a bit bored. I guess that will change Fri when he officially starts basic. I just wish I could have been here to talk to him as I know that it will be many weeks before he can call again. Do they really have to do pushups as punishments for letters received from home? We are planning on bombarding him with letters once we get his address but I don't want to do that if he will be punished.

02-28-2006, 11:45 AM	#12
fluffyman Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Ramstein, Germany Posts: 152 Gallery: fluffyman Stats: 236/236/190 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 12/12/05	Letters will be fine. He will probably earn mail privileges along the way. If not, he will have a bunch of sweet letters to read after graduation.

02-28-2006, 12:43 PM	#13
Rottie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hot Texas! Posts: 784 Gallery: Rottie Start Date: 2/6/06	I'm a Army brat as well as a former Army wife. I cannot stress enough how important a taste of home will be to your son. Now before you throw those cookies in the oven, he has to get through basic first and then AITbefore he can get those packages. Fort Sam is a great place for him to go. I live here in SA and can tell you that BAMC, where he will train at, is one of the premier hospitals for medic training. Most of all, be proud of him and always remind him of this. Once he is ready for those care packages, send him the littliest of things to remind him of home. When my husband was away for extended periods of time he loved recieving tootsie roll lolliopops in his care package and all of the other guys was offering up trades to him for them. So you see little things like that do make the difference. He will have some transition time in which he will run through the emotions but in the end its the self respect and confidence he will need to continue on. Be a strong, proud mom for him and continue to give him those "mom" touches he will need as soon as he can accept them. As for yourself, you have to understand this is something he wants to do and although it may be tough on him, he will be for the better. Best of luck to you and him!

03-02-2006, 05:08 AM	#14
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Rottie, Thanks for all of the information. I am very proud of my son and can not wait to talk to him so that I can tell him so. He can not get packages even in AIT? Well that leads me to ask another question. We were planning on using our vacation time in July to go and see him at Ft Sam, will that not be allowed? I guess I thought that while he was training there he would be able to "get away" on some evenings and weekends to visit with us. Am I wrong on this? Darcie

03-02-2006, 08:25 AM	#15
Rottie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hot Texas! Posts: 784 Gallery: Rottie Start Date: 2/6/06	Advanced Individual Training usually can have visitors and receive packages. I double checked that with DH and he confirmed it should be allowed unless the individual's unit disallows it. He also stated the unit may restrict visitors to only on weekends. SA will be HOT in July so prepare! Take him to Mi Tierra for lunch and enjoy the RiverWalk.

03-03-2006, 01:53 PM	#17
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	My ds just called and I finally got to talk to him. He said that the beginning of basic for him has been delayed once again until next Wed. I guess this will change the date of his graduation and the date he is due to start AIT. He sounded good. He said it is kind of boring but he has hooked up with a few guys who he really likes. He thinks Ok. is nothing but a dust bowl as he has yet to see a blade of grass. He likes the army clothes especially the boots. He said the food is just ok but they get plenty of it. He wanted to know what everyone is up to here. Over all he sounded good and was still happy with his choice to join. He realizes that life is going to get much harder next week but he is ok with that.

03-03-2006, 02:52 PM	#18
Mary A. Miller Junior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 1 Gallery: Mary A. Miller Stats: Starting weight 242 (eek!) WOE: Atkins, all the way baby! Start Date: March 2005	Hi Darci, Hugs to you. I'm basically a 'looker' on this bb but when I was your post I knew I had to reply to you. My ds19 (one and only) left for basic training on July 28,2005, for the air force. Although AF BMT is 6 weeks, I felt it was the longest 6 weeks of my life. Hang in there!! I'm coming from the AF side of this so things will be different. We didn't hear from ds until 2 weeks after induction and that was only to give us his address. His first words were 'it sucks here'. I realized he was probably having a harder time about it than me. When we got his address we sent as many letters as we could. Girlfriend sent pics of them during school activities. I sent jokes and newspaper clippings so he could keep up on the news. Check out military mom websites for more information. The main thing is to let you ds know how much you love him and are proud of him...constantly. DS also didn't have time to call us when he was allowed to call since there were long lines at the few pay phones. On the AF side of this, he couldn't receive a lot of stuff since he would be moving to tech school immediatly aft BMT and could only take to bags...suitcase for clothes and materials and duffle bag. I sent pages of jokes separately so he could send them around the dorm. I also found out that sometimes the instructors will 'catch' the pics and show them around or make fun of them. Nothing harmfull but just to keep them on their toes. They are going to be caught for something anyways. You keep your chin up. I'm proud of your ds too!

03-06-2006, 06:53 AM	#19
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	Mary, Thanks for the reply and all of the great ideas. I know what you mean about the phone calls. When he called Friday, I asked him if he was limited as to how long he could talk, he said no but that there were 30 guys in line behind him so just to be fair he needed to make our call short. I wonder why they don't just put in more pay phones? Seems weird to me. We are all geared up to a letter sending campaign as soon as we receive his address. With so many of us here to write, he should almost never have to go a day without mail. If they don't give it to him until the end of boot camp he will have quite a pile. Last edited by beetgreen : 03-06-2006 at 06:55 AM.

03-06-2006, 08:31 AM	#20
Rottie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hot Texas! Posts: 784 Gallery: Rottie Start Date: 2/6/06	Oh letters are great! He sounds like he is gearing up for the challenge and is making some important friendships that will help pull one another along through basic. SA is very hot in August (the hottest month) and yes there is humidity. However, I can tell you that we have the voted #1 waterpark here as well. The thing is huge and so much fun! We also have Six Flags and Sea World. Indoors wise, we have a mall downtown that has a river that runs through it. Lots of people visit it. We have the Alamo of course as well as the typical Ripley's and the likes. Feel free to ask me anything you want. Hang in there!

03-06-2006, 02:58 PM	#21
LeanLioness Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Du Quoin, IL Posts: 4,307 Gallery: LeanLioness Stats: 230/224/120 WOE: Starting over, Atkins Phase 1 Start Date: Started Induction Again, Oct. 5 2008	I was in the army myself and went to basic at Ft Jackson, SC. We were able to make phone calls on Sundays and we received mail everyday after the first week in basic training..... We even had girls that received care packages with all kinds of goodies in it from their friends and family members. Your son will be fine. I was 16 when I went into the Army.....and I did fine.

03-17-2006, 12:14 PM	#22
beetgreen MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Allegan, Michigan Posts: 1,058 Gallery: beetgreen Stats: 313/274.8/175 WOE: WW Start Date: Starting again 7/10/07	I received a letter on Monday from my son. It was a good letter, he was in a good mood and was happy with his decision to join. He said the drills sergeants yelled but it was all justified. He has made a good friend also from Mi. so I am really happy with that. Now that I have his address we will be writing often. He did ask for lots of letters. We see on the caller id that he did call again Sunday night and we missed it. From now on we are going to be sure to have someone home on Sundays as that seems to be his day to call. I am a little nervous to get his next phone call as he has now gone through one week of actual basic.I know that he was anxious to finally start after sitting in the welcoming batallion for almost 3 weeks but I am afraid he will quickly be losing his "it's not so bad here" attitude. Thanks for all of your encouragement, Darcie

03-17-2006, 01:43 PM	#23
Rottie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hot Texas! Posts: 784 Gallery: Rottie Start Date: 2/6/06	See beetgreen, it isn't all that bad is it? He's most likely doing just fine and sounds like he is starting to enjoy it even a little. Glad to hear all is well!

03-22-2006, 11:00 AM	#24
Bubbles Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Live Free or Die Baby!!!!! Posts: 10,100 Gallery: Bubbles Stats: 140 lbs of flabby fun WOE: All the time Start Date: Feb 2003	My heart goes out to you. My DS is only 11 but I dread the college/armed service leaving day already. Keep your chin up and I am so glad you are writing each other. When my DB was in the Navy even a short postcard brightened his days.

04-18-2006, 12:48 AM	#25
Island Blue MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Laughin' in California Posts: 2,784 Gallery: Island Blue WOE: Atkins Start Date: 4/17/03	God Bless You and your Son! I'm an Army Mom! Basic is tough, I'm not going to kid you. Your son's cell phone will probably be locked up with all his other civilian stuff. You should get an address soon where you can write to him - go NOW and get a long-distance calling card (WalMart/Target/Sam's Club/Costco) and photocopy both sides so you can refill it. Load it with about $25 and write his name on it with a permanent Sharpie and mail it to him. He can use that at any phone booth on Post - and try to stay home on Sundays, that's usually when they can call you during Basic. They may have to keep it short, other guys will be in line at the pay phones! WRITE OFTEN. He will want to hear about day-to-day regular stuff. You cannot write too much!! However, do not put ANYTHING on the envelope except his name and a stamp - hopefully an American flag stamp. Anything extra will get him pushups. A lot of pushups. You can send pictures - but only those that won't embarrass your son. We sent only a few - family and pets pics that he could post inside his locker (like maybe 3 or 4 total over his 14 weeks of Basic - his was Extended for SF). And be aware that they do HOLD mail - our son would get 10-15 letters at a time once or twice a week (we all wrote him a lot!) I printed out a TON of humor from the internet and sent that - our son shared it with the guys that DIDN'T get a letter almost every day. If you feel you must send cookies - SEND IT TO THE COMMANDING OFFICER for the ENTIRE company (like 500 cookies - we did this twice). We also put the recruiter's office as the return address so it couldn't be tracked to our son (his friend got an Easter basket and had to skip up and down singing in front of the entire company in the Air Force Basic Training - note to self!). Hang in there - you have raised an amazing young man and we are all in his debt. My Army son is an 18Delta - once he graduated from Basic he got a cell phone and we have had the amazing privilege of talking to him 3-4 times a week since August 2004. And he only calls me AFTER he lands safely from flinging his happy butt out of an airplane (he has to jump at least once a month to keep his Airborne status - Gack!). God Bless You and your Son. We are all in our Military's debt! PM me if you'd like... __________________ *PROUD DEPLOYED GREEN BERET MEDIC MOM* *Please pray for our troops, freedom isn't free*

04-18-2006, 08:12 PM	#26
Barbara Ray Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Miami-Dade, Florida Posts: 691 Gallery: Barbara Ray Stats: 230/150/162/150 WOE: Low Calorie/Low Glycemic Load/Low Carb	I'm not a military mom - but I was in the military myself - the Marine Corps - and BELIEVE me your sons or daughters miss YOU as much as you miss them. However, just like anyone leaving home - it does get a little easier with time on both ends. I remember once I got out of Boot Camp and got to my permanent duty station I talked to my mother EVERY day - that was waaaaay back in the 60's and phone calls were a FORTUNE - of course - I reversed the charges! It wasn't long before I developed friendships and eventually met my husband. Which just about happens to all our "kiddies" and it doesn't matter whether they're military - away at college or just living their own lives. My son lives only 45 minutes from me - but has his own life (he's 38) so we don't see each other all that often - we talk often but his weekends are filled with all kinds of "honey do" type things.