1 hour ago.....

layla01 · 02-12-2006, 08:33 PM

I was fine up until one hour ago.An hour ago he started knocking at my door,begging to come in.This all started yesterday when I found out he had another woman.I was with him for 5 years,he had every chance to leave me.Why do men tell you that they love you,yet treat you like trash?I thought that someone who loved me would never intentionally hurt me.I told him to leave,and I told him that I never wanted to talk to him again.I was fine until one hour ago when he came to my door.
Because I do not understand why he wants to hurt me why can't he just accept that he got caught and stay away from me?
I am trying not to cry,well maybe I should cry..
Ice cream is looking really good right about now......

silkandsand · 02-12-2006, 08:54 PM

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. This is such a crushing blow. Are you married? Please hang in there and try to hold your head high...the icecream will not help. It'll only make you feel like crap after you indulge. You don't need that right now on top of everything else. Do you see any hope for this relationship? My heart goes out to you because I was in a similar position a year ago. Hang in there. He's the loser.

gina59 · 02-12-2006, 10:00 PM

Be strong and if you're not married tell him to leave you alone. He is a looser for doing that to you.

sillykimmie · 02-12-2006, 10:48 PM

I am so sorry this is happening to you ....

You are going through a whole range of emotions, so in every way it is okay to cry, that is a natural emotional/physical reponse to stress. Keep talking to us on the boards, we will give you support. You are your first priority!! Be strong.

kim h.

RobinB · 02-13-2006, 07:57 AM

My ex was the same way-- once I decided I had to leave he kept coming around and pounding on the door, I had to call 911 a few times. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful all through our marriage (staying out all night "playing music with jazz bands,"

)

Anyway, I wish you all the best. He probably does feel some remorse and a sense of loss--but it was his decision. So go ahead and cry it out, you will feel better later.

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 08:43 AM

WOW yesterday was sooooo hard
I recognized that it was just a big ole binge waiting to happen,and I caught myself thank god for these boards..You all really helped me through yesterday,and now I just have to take it one day at a time to heal from this hurt.
So proud am I to say that I lost 3lbs overnight,maybe just water weight but it beats an ice cream gain-right?
I am still just choosing to ignore him.And actually after I wrote last night things got worse..The girl called me,and we talked for ever now she keeps calling me like I am her friend or something.I think I will change all of my #s.
I really just see this as a lesson from god to love myself better,So that I do not allow such losers in my life.
No we were not married court wise,but we have a house together,and all the benefits of marriage without the papers....
Anyhow thanks ladies for the advice....

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 08:44 AM

I hope that your situation worked it self out,thanks 4 the advice....

FatBottomedGurlz · 02-13-2006, 08:53 AM

I totally agree with getting your numbers changed. She's just trying to make herself feel less like a skank by talking to you. Right before I changed them, I'd pack his crap up in plastic bags set them outside and have the cops there when he came to get it. They can usaully have your new # applied within a couple of hours. You deserve better.

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 09:14 AM

Hey thanks...
I really thought about doing something to his things,but I had to realize that I am a lady,I am more mature than that,and I don't want him to have that power over me to make me act crazy...But boy I had to pray an awful lot to get my head there.I had all kinds of plots in my head to destroy him,BUT i am the biggest C.S.I fan so I know I would have got caught,went to jail and ended up with a girlfriend....lol

jedswife · 02-13-2006, 10:41 AM

what a putz! you stick to your guns! tell the sleazy gf to go to he!!.

silkandsand · 02-13-2006, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by layla01

I hope that your situation worked it self out,thanks 4 the advice....

We're still together and it is working out. We separated twice over it. It's not been easy...building trust again takes time. Stay strong, believe in yourself and don't settle for anything less! Especially if you're not married.

Are there children involved?

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 12:17 PM

Jed's wife u are too funny....

No thank God I did not give him babies.....

kartmom386 · 02-13-2006, 12:36 PM

PS-Congrats on the weight loss 3#'s KUTGW

(plus 180-200#'s - however much he weighed)

pru · 02-13-2006, 01:05 PM

Survinginfidelity.com is an excellent website. it is free and the people are great. You can get help making the right decision there.

Hope things work out. love Pru

KQT · 02-13-2006, 04:30 PM

i am so proud of you for not going on a binge! after i found out my ex cheated on me, i lost 25 pounds in about a month. the first week i just didn't feel like eating anything, but by week 2 i was so full of anger that i spent at least 2 hours at the gym every night. robin hit it right on the nose, he probably does feel some remorse and a sense of loss--but it was his decision. stay strong!! he knew what he was doing when he did it, and "i'm sorry" just won't cut it.

as for the girlie calling you... give me 5 minutes alone with her.

that's just not right. i wouldn't want to hear a single word out of her mouth. keep on refusing to speak with the two of them. they're now free to live their crappy lives together, free of you. you deserve so unbelieveably much better, and now you know that he wasn't the man you thought he was.

we're here for you layla!!

and don't worry about tomorrow... we're all your valentine!

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 06:47 PM

KARTMOM...Thanks for the hugs and support.How is SC this time of year? I went to SC a couple times while going on road trips I think most of SC is Beautiful.....

PRU- BIG thanks for the website info I will check it out soon....

Staying strong with all of you all's help thanks

layla01 · 02-13-2006, 06:58 PM

OH BOY.
MY post now says I am a senior lcf....I must have posted a whole lot in 2 days....
Thank you for being my VALENTINE ..that is sweet now you gotta send me some lc candy...lol
Your message yesterday with the hugs,on the other board and today have really made things a little brighter...
I once lost 20lbs in a month after my breakup but that was my first love at 17. I could not eat if I tried,my mom tried to make me all of my favorite dishes but I would not eat...I still know that to this day- that month all I ate was a 12 bar box of granola bars, and 2 plates of spaghetti-this was the whole month and i ONLY ATE JUST TO stop the stomach from growling.....
THE BREAKUP DIET....I was a size 6 at that time so when I lost the 20 I looked super CRAZY....
The exercise is a good idea I actually just came back from the gym.
As stated in my journal..in the journal boards..I am on the revenge diet...
O.K this message is getting long ...thanks for letting me get it all out......

layla01 · 02-14-2006, 01:35 AM

Joanne · 02-14-2006, 08:47 AM

his loss

silkandsand · 02-14-2006, 10:05 AM

How are you doing?

kartmom386 · 02-14-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by layla01

KARTMOM...Thanks for the hugs and support.How is SC this time of year? I went to SC a couple times while going on road trips I think most of SC is Beautiful.....

You're so welcome...thanks for the compliment...SC is great!...haven't had much of a winter though...we love it here...4 hours from the beach or 4 hours from the mountains

Wishing you a happy and blessed day

pru · 02-14-2006, 12:47 PM

I just realized I misspelled the web site. The correct spelling is: survivinginfidelity.com

love Pru

LindaFaye · 02-14-2006, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kartmom386

You're so welcome...thanks for the compliment...SC is great!...haven't had much of a winter though...we love it here...4 hours from the beach or 4 hours from the mountains

Wishing you a happy and blessed day

What part of SC are you from---I live in Greenwood SC--Linda

layla01 · 02-14-2006, 11:33 PM

The website was very informative,But I do not think I am ready 4 that I read a couple of things that made me cry like a baby.
And boy if I thought that first hour was bad today was even worse.But I will speak of that tomorrow on the journal board..it is way too long...But basically I found out even more..and I really do not know how I can ever trust anyone ever again..
I will be patient and give this to god that is all I can do before I lose my mind.......
SILKANDSAND....thanks for checking back,I hope that you had a lovely Valentines day ...
Thank all of u ladies for the support,if it were not for these boards I would have a lot of time to be plotting something crazy...which is never good..

kartmom386 · 02-15-2006, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LindaFaye

What part of SC are you from---I live in Greenwood SC--Linda

Hi Linda,

I'm in Rock Hill, just below Charlotte.
Wow - congrats on your weight loss - your pics look great

kartmom386 · 02-15-2006, 07:35 AM

Layla,

Hope you are doing well - remember take it one step at a time. You deserve someone who will love you for who you are. God knows who this someone is, and His timing is perfect.

layla01 · 02-15-2006, 09:18 AM

I know that's right....
And I truly trust my creator I do understand the lesson here and I know that god is making me stronger....My guilt now is because I really did choose to ignore so many signs because I trusted his word,
But if god can forgive me for all that I do ..Who am I to not forgive myself.
That thing I read on the infedelity page helped a lot with changing my thinking during this time when I think I can read it again without crying I will post it. Good day everyone..... Sorry for all the run on sentences...but this is not the time for correct writing.....

KQT · 02-15-2006, 08:59 PM

you just remember that we are all here for you!!

what doesn't kill ya can only make you stronger. i LOL'ed at this you wrote: if it were not for these boards I would have a lot of time to be plotting something crazy...which is never good.. honey we've all been there. believe me, i could use my law enforcement job in such an illegal manner

just think - in a couple of months you're going to look and feel so much more different, you'll have to ward him off with a stick! he had you and he took advantage of your kind heart. you don't want that kind of person back in your life.

stay strong, sister!!

02-12-2006, 08:33 PM	#1
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	1 hour ago..... I was fine up until one hour ago.An hour ago he started knocking at my door,begging to come in.This all started yesterday when I found out he had another woman.I was with him for 5 years,he had every chance to leave me.Why do men tell you that they love you,yet treat you like trash?I thought that someone who loved me would never intentionally hurt me.I told him to leave,and I told him that I never wanted to talk to him again.I was fine until one hour ago when he came to my door. Because I do not understand why he wants to hurt me why can't he just accept that he got caught and stay away from me? I am trying not to cry,well maybe I should cry.. Ice cream is looking really good right about now...... __________________ [myjournal

02-13-2006, 08:43 AM	#6
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	Thank you..... WOW yesterday was sooooo hard I recognized that it was just a big ole binge waiting to happen,and I caught myself thank god for these boards..You all really helped me through yesterday,and now I just have to take it one day at a time to heal from this hurt. So proud am I to say that I lost 3lbs overnight,maybe just water weight but it beats an ice cream gain-right? I am still just choosing to ignore him.And actually after I wrote last night things got worse..The girl called me,and we talked for ever now she keeps calling me like I am her friend or something.I think I will change all of my #s. I really just see this as a lesson from god to love myself better,So that I do not allow such losers in my life. No we were not married court wise,but we have a house together,and all the benefits of marriage without the papers.... Anyhow thanks ladies for the advice....

02-13-2006, 08:44 AM	#7
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	silkandsand I hope that your situation worked it self out,thanks 4 the advice....

02-13-2006, 09:14 AM	#9
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	Fatbottom Hey thanks... I really thought about doing something to his things,but I had to realize that I am a lady,I am more mature than that,and I don't want him to have that power over me to make me act crazy...But boy I had to pray an awful lot to get my head there.I had all kinds of plots in my head to destroy him,BUT i am the biggest C.S.I fan so I know I would have got caught,went to jail and ended up with a girlfriend....lol

02-13-2006, 06:47 PM	#16
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	Hello..... KARTMOM...Thanks for the hugs and support.How is SC this time of year? I went to SC a couple times while going on road trips I think most of SC is Beautiful..... PRU- BIG thanks for the website info I will check it out soon.... Staying strong with all of you all's help thanks

02-12-2006, 08:54 PM	#2
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. This is such a crushing blow. Are you married? Please hang in there and try to hold your head high...the icecream will not help. It'll only make you feel like crap after you indulge. You don't need that right now on top of everything else. Do you see any hope for this relationship? My heart goes out to you because I was in a similar position a year ago. Hang in there. He's the loser.

02-12-2006, 10:00 PM	#3
gina59 Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 618 Gallery: gina59 Stats: 155/158.5/120 WOE: Atkins induction Start Date: 6/6/08,12/08/2008	Be strong and if you're not married tell him to leave you alone. He is a looser for doing that to you.

02-12-2006, 10:48 PM	#4
sillykimmie MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The Evergreen state Posts: 1,420 Gallery: sillykimmie WOE: soon to be parking it on the south beach..	I am so sorry this is happening to you .... You are going through a whole range of emotions, so in every way it is okay to cry, that is a natural emotional/physical reponse to stress. Keep talking to us on the boards, we will give you support. You are your first priority!! Be strong. kim h.

02-13-2006, 07:57 AM	#5
RobinB Heart Writer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,170 Gallery: RobinB WOE: Atkins Start Date: restart March '07	My ex was the same way-- once I decided I had to leave he kept coming around and pounding on the door, I had to call 911 a few times. He wasn't abusive, just neglectful all through our marriage (staying out all night "playing music with jazz bands," ) Anyway, I wish you all the best. He probably does feel some remorse and a sense of loss--but it was his decision. So go ahead and cry it out, you will feel better later.

02-13-2006, 08:53 AM	#8
FatBottomedGurlz Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Southeastern, TN {{Go VOLS!!}} Posts: 487 Gallery: FatBottomedGurlz WOE: Atkins Start Date: The Saga Cont's: 08/09/07 2:00pm <I suck at this!>	I totally agree with getting your numbers changed. She's just trying to make herself feel less like a skank by talking to you. Right before I changed them, I'd pack his crap up in plastic bags set them outside and have the cops there when he came to get it. They can usaully have your new # applied within a couple of hours. You deserve better.

02-13-2006, 10:41 AM	#10
jedswife MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 2,909 Gallery: jedswife Stats: 220/160/140 WOE: Body By Atkins	what a putz! you stick to your guns! tell the sleazy gf to go to he!!.

02-13-2006, 12:17 PM	#12
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	Jed's wife u are too funny.... No thank God I did not give him babies.....

02-13-2006, 12:36 PM	#13
kartmom386 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: SC Posts: 454 Gallery: kartmom386 Stats: Been There/Done That/Yeehaw! WOE: Body Clutter Menu Mailer Start Date: October 2005	PS-Congrats on the weight loss 3#'s KUTGW (plus 180-200#'s - however much he weighed)

02-13-2006, 01:05 PM	#14
pru Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NY Posts: 89 Gallery: pru Stats: 267/255/167 272/248/167 WOE: Atkins the only diet I can stay on Start Date: 1/23/06 Restart date 9/23/06?	Survinginfidelity.com is an excellent website. it is free and the people are great. You can get help making the right decision there. Hope things work out. love Pru

02-13-2006, 04:30 PM	#15
KQT Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 6,368 Gallery: KQT WOE: get in mah belly! Start Date: 2/6/06	i am so proud of you for not going on a binge! after i found out my ex cheated on me, i lost 25 pounds in about a month. the first week i just didn't feel like eating anything, but by week 2 i was so full of anger that i spent at least 2 hours at the gym every night. robin hit it right on the nose, he probably does feel some remorse and a sense of loss--but it was his decision. stay strong!! he knew what he was doing when he did it, and "i'm sorry" just won't cut it. as for the girlie calling you... give me 5 minutes alone with her. that's just not right. i wouldn't want to hear a single word out of her mouth. keep on refusing to speak with the two of them. they're now free to live their crappy lives together, free of you. you deserve so unbelieveably much better, and now you know that he wasn't the man you thought he was. we're here for you layla!! and don't worry about tomorrow... we're all your valentine!

02-13-2006, 06:58 PM	#17
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	THANKS KRISSY.... OH BOY. MY post now says I am a senior lcf....I must have posted a whole lot in 2 days.... Thank you for being my VALENTINE ..that is sweet now you gotta send me some lc candy...lol Your message yesterday with the hugs,on the other board and today have really made things a little brighter... I once lost 20lbs in a month after my breakup but that was my first love at 17. I could not eat if I tried,my mom tried to make me all of my favorite dishes but I would not eat...I still know that to this day- that month all I ate was a 12 bar box of granola bars, and 2 plates of spaghetti-this was the whole month and i ONLY ATE JUST TO stop the stomach from growling..... THE BREAKUP DIET....I was a size 6 at that time so when I lost the 20 I looked super CRAZY.... The exercise is a good idea I actually just came back from the gym. As stated in my journal..in the journal boards..I am on the revenge diet... O.K this message is getting long ...thanks for letting me get it all out......

02-14-2006, 01:35 AM	#18
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	HAPPY VaLENTINES DAY........

02-14-2006, 08:47 AM	#19
Joanne MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: upstate,new york Posts: 1,297 Gallery: Joanne Stats: 309/309/145 WOE: life on the beach Start Date: 12/2/07 again	his loss

02-14-2006, 10:05 AM	#20
silkandsand Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Lake Chapala Posts: 8,507 Gallery: silkandsand Stats: 150/141/125 sizes:10/8/6-4 WOE: Atkins/Low carb Start Date: 2/2/2003	How are you doing?

02-14-2006, 12:47 PM	#22
pru Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NY Posts: 89 Gallery: pru Stats: 267/255/167 272/248/167 WOE: Atkins the only diet I can stay on Start Date: 1/23/06 Restart date 9/23/06?	I just realized I misspelled the web site. The correct spelling is: survivinginfidelity.com love Pru

02-14-2006, 11:33 PM	#24
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	THANKS.... The website was very informative,But I do not think I am ready 4 that I read a couple of things that made me cry like a baby. And boy if I thought that first hour was bad today was even worse.But I will speak of that tomorrow on the journal board..it is way too long...But basically I found out even more..and I really do not know how I can ever trust anyone ever again.. I will be patient and give this to god that is all I can do before I lose my mind....... SILKANDSAND....thanks for checking back,I hope that you had a lovely Valentines day ... Thank all of u ladies for the support,if it were not for these boards I would have a lot of time to be plotting something crazy...which is never good..

02-15-2006, 07:35 AM	#26
kartmom386 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: SC Posts: 454 Gallery: kartmom386 Stats: Been There/Done That/Yeehaw! WOE: Body Clutter Menu Mailer Start Date: October 2005	Layla, Hope you are doing well - remember take it one step at a time. You deserve someone who will love you for who you are. God knows who this someone is, and His timing is perfect.

02-15-2006, 09:18 AM	#27
layla01 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: WomenarefromVENUS... Posts: 319 Gallery: layla01 Stats: 255-194-150 WOE: WhateverWorks Start Date: 02/12/06-@218lbs.	AMEN I know that's right.... And I truly trust my creator I do understand the lesson here and I know that god is making me stronger....My guilt now is because I really did choose to ignore so many signs because I trusted his word, But if god can forgive me for all that I do ..Who am I to not forgive myself. That thing I read on the infedelity page helped a lot with changing my thinking during this time when I think I can read it again without crying I will post it. Good day everyone..... Sorry for all the run on sentences...but this is not the time for correct writing..... Last edited by layla01 : 02-15-2006 at 09:19 AM.

02-15-2006, 08:59 PM	#28
KQT Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 6,368 Gallery: KQT WOE: get in mah belly! Start Date: 2/6/06	you just remember that we are all here for you!! what doesn't kill ya can only make you stronger. i LOL'ed at this you wrote: if it were not for these boards I would have a lot of time to be plotting something crazy...which is never good.. honey we've all been there. believe me, i could use my law enforcement job in such an illegal manner just think - in a couple of months you're going to look and feel so much more different, you'll have to ward him off with a stick! he had you and he took advantage of your kind heart. you don't want that kind of person back in your life. stay strong, sister!!