I am not doing so well right now.

[CurveControl]

No real reason, well, Other thn having been sick for months now, but I am getting used to that.
I am just mean. Pure mean. I don't have anything nice to say or think, and am not doing a very good job with impulse control right now, and say or type whatever pops intop my head, and nothing in my head is good right now.
I don't like this person. neither does anyone else, belive me. Xanax dosn't help because it is not anxiety it is depression that wellbutrin cannot touch. I started my zoloft 2 days ago for PMDD, because i know that's what it is. I should just stay drunk and/or doped up and locked in my room for these few days a month because I am useless- Worse- DESTRUCTIVE! I wont hurt anyone physicaly, and have no plans to off myself, but this is the most horrible feeling. worse than the down side of a bi polar cycle. And I know I get to look forward to it every damn month, and despite meds it gets (seems) worse each month. I hope I start my period today or tomorrow because the longer I have this the worse it gets. Then I start, and Have to spend a week trying to ask forgivness for what a Bioch I was, IF I can.
This sucks.

[Pamalee63]

I can relate. I'm just getting myself pulled out of an episode like that.

I've been on several anti-depressants in the past, including zoloft. Be sure to give it plenty of time to work.

I accidentally found meditation a couple years ago and it helps sometimes.

I've also found some help in reading books by Dr. Christiane Northrup, "Mother-Daughter Wisdom" and "The Wisdom of Menopause"...I don't know how old you are, I am 42 and getting some premenopausal symptoms that didn't seem like my usual PMS.

I hope things get better for you.

[RoxanneRoxanne]

I wish that there was something that I could do to help you feel better. I hope and pray that you'll feel better soon. I've been clinically depressed in the past so in a way, I can relate.

[Pcola Girl]

Here's a bouquet of flowers to make you feel better.
Wish I could do more for you.....
you can write me if you want...Take care.

[CurveControl]

Thank you all- I finally "started" today and feel much better- still a little grumpy and moody, but not depressed or mean.
It is really wearing thin. DSis was here this week, and was great about listening to me bioch! she gets the same way, so it helps to talk to her, unless we arte having symptoms together. Then we have to stay apart or we work each other up worse.

[roeluvsparis]

For you to write what you wrote publicly on this forum, means "half the battle is won" -- I found your post very honest. You say you are mean. I don't know you, but I venture to say a lot of what you are feeling has to do with your medical situation. Trust me, I know. Been there, done that. And, I don't mean that in a negative sense in anyway. I could tell you sumpin' about feeling mean.

Just take everything day by day OR minute by minute OR second by second. Journal. Do whatever.

I'll leave you with my ALL TIME favorite quote:

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world -- not even your troubles~Charlie Chaplin

It's true, CurveControl. That quote is really true. . .

Peace
roe

[walkthebeach]

Thinking mean thoughts is such a bummer isn't it? I don't like myself at all when I get into that rut. I always feel so guilty, because you know, that's just not me. What I found that helps is to pray, get in touch with God. Another thing is to read Louise Hay books; she is awesome. You can control your thoughts. When you start thinking ugly thoughts, you replace it with a good one. She has some powerful affirmation tapes, too. So if you don't know about Louise, check her out. Her most famous book is "You Can Heal Your Life."