Restaurant Dilemma (long, sorry)

Kitsa · 01-12-2006, 05:48 PM

Ok, I had a really weird situation today. I'm going to try to state it as objectively I can, and as politically correct as I can, and just pray that I don't offend anyone.

I was at an Italian restaurant today and our server was disabled. I'm also disabled, so my default is to treat someone as if they have full mental capacity despite whatever's going on physically. That's how I'd like to be treated, and that's how I was behaving when I placed my order. However, as time went on it was apparent that he was having trouble remembering the order, and he didn't write anything down. He brought us the wrong drinks and meals several times, and a half-hour lunch turned into three hours.

We were trying very hard to say as politely as possible "Thanks, but we ordered _____". I'm doing low-glycemic for PCOS and it takes very few excess carbs to tip me back into a problem, so I was very careful to order chicken in a LC sauce with ww pasta. After a while, when I thought it was obvious that he wasn't going to remember what might have been a pretty complex order, he came back with some chicken, a sauce that might have been LC, and some pasta that was too covered in sauce for me to tell whether it was ww or not. He said, "Here is chicken and pasta" as he placed the dish in front of me. He didn't acknowledge whether it was the lc ww stuff or not, and I had already tried to subtly ask with previous dishes and felt like I'd be a jerk if I kept doing it. My companion was served the wrong dish again but she decided to just go ahead and eat it.

So I was faced with a problem. I was starved and had a no-eating headache (even lc-ing, I'm sensitive to even tiny fluctuations and get a headache), but here was this meal that I wasn't sure was LC or not. There wasn't much chicken, or I would have just eaten that. I ate the chicken, the sauce, and then after much internal debate, half of the pasta. I figured if it wasn't whole wheat, better half than the whole thing. It was all I could do not to devour the loaf of bread on the table while I was waiting. So I ate all that and then even though I'm maintaining, I had immediate remorse.

I don't know what else I could have done, though. I applaud the guy for trying to work and I really was trying to work with him. It didn't seem like waiting tables was entirely appropriate for his situation, but he was trying. If I'd known in advance that we were going to have all those problems, I would have gone out of my way to order something simple, like just plain chicken or a salad. By the time it became apparent that it was going to be a big problem, a change would have complicated matters. It also seemed like it would have been really rude to ask for a different waiter.

I probably won't be back in that area for a while, so it's unlikely this exact situation would happen again, but I just need to know for peace of mind...did I do the right thing? What would you have done? I really regret having so much of the pasta...even half was a lot...but I'd already sucked my water dry and gone through all the chicken and the veggies in the sauce.

Thanks

tom_912 · 01-12-2006, 05:54 PM

Tough situation, but in the future get the hostess's attention and have her verify your order. I bet they would be happy to do it for you for your satisfaction. Remember you were the customer.

SoHappy · 01-12-2006, 06:06 PM

A half-hour turned into THREE HOURS? Wow! You are so much more patient than I am, by about....oh....two and a half hours.

I'll tell you what. For any of us who have disabilities of any kind, it is certainly appreciated to have certain access to things made easier, to not be discriminated against when it comes to the chance to prove abilities in the workplace, etc.

BUT, when ANYONE, with or without a disability, is left working poorly in a commercial situation, it is a detriment to them, to customers and clients, to the business, and to everyone's concept of handicapped people's abilities. I don't think many people with handicaps of any kind want to do poorly at their job and then be treated any differently than anyone else, and that goes for being treated as a charity case.

This young man has certainly shown the willingness to work. He needs to be helped to find work that he can do capably so that he can become, and know he is recognized, as a valuable employee.

I probably would have complained to management. At the very least, I'd have asked for the manager to render some additional help here since the order was a bit "harder" than the usual.

amy031 · 01-12-2006, 06:11 PM

that is a tough situation. i applaud the guy for trying to work also when so many won't even attempt it when they're perfectly capable, but waiting tables apparently is not for him.

i'm not exactly sure how i would have handled it at the table. i wouldn't want to embarrass him, but i am paying for the food. at the very least, i would have discreetly mentioned it to the manager. he would be better off clearing tables or working in the back.

Kimmer · 01-12-2006, 07:55 PM

I think you were wonderful.

I'm a foster mom and one of my boys is mentally disabled, IQ 43. He talks and moves OK but doesn't comprehend. I don't imagine he has any chance of working where he would have to remember quick directions (a restaurant order), but I'd certainly hope that if he had the chance and screwed up ... that God would bless him with a compassionate customer.

Certainly the restaurant was wrong in placing him in that job (maybe he's a relative?), but hopefully his work experience there, however short, will leave a favorable impression with him.

I suppose you should have contacted the hostess or manager, but frankly, I wouldn't have had the heart.

You did good.

msgirl · 01-12-2006, 08:03 PM

I agree with Kimmer.

I always try to "put myself in the other person's shoes."

aussiecarrie · 01-13-2006, 06:08 AM

bless you, you did well.

sunset · 01-16-2006, 05:32 PM

I agree with Kimmer.

Lehgrad · 01-19-2006, 01:20 PM

You are way more patient than I am as well. It is a tough situation... are you patient for this poor kid with the disability? Or do you get irritated with the wrong orders, etc.
I think that it is a bad place for him. If he messed up someone's orders who had bad allergies to a certain food that would turn into a nightmare. I would think that the restaurant people might put him in another position such as dishes or cleaning.

Pamalee63 · 01-20-2006, 01:35 PM

If this happened to me, I would be careful of the server's feelings, but would try to have a private word with the manager or owner of the restaurant. I think they need to know the situation from a customer's point of view so they can reassign him or have someone assist him in writing down the orders or something.

01-12-2006, 05:48 PM	#1
Kitsa Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 311 Gallery: Kitsa Stats: 220/165/120 5'1", small frame WOE: Diabetic Meal Plan/Vegetarian Start Date: January 2005...back after lapse, August 2005	Restaurant Dilemma (long, sorry) Ok, I had a really weird situation today. I'm going to try to state it as objectively I can, and as politically correct as I can, and just pray that I don't offend anyone. I was at an Italian restaurant today and our server was disabled. I'm also disabled, so my default is to treat someone as if they have full mental capacity despite whatever's going on physically. That's how I'd like to be treated, and that's how I was behaving when I placed my order. However, as time went on it was apparent that he was having trouble remembering the order, and he didn't write anything down. He brought us the wrong drinks and meals several times, and a half-hour lunch turned into three hours. We were trying very hard to say as politely as possible "Thanks, but we ordered _____". I'm doing low-glycemic for PCOS and it takes very few excess carbs to tip me back into a problem, so I was very careful to order chicken in a LC sauce with ww pasta. After a while, when I thought it was obvious that he wasn't going to remember what might have been a pretty complex order, he came back with some chicken, a sauce that might have been LC, and some pasta that was too covered in sauce for me to tell whether it was ww or not. He said, "Here is chicken and pasta" as he placed the dish in front of me. He didn't acknowledge whether it was the lc ww stuff or not, and I had already tried to subtly ask with previous dishes and felt like I'd be a jerk if I kept doing it. My companion was served the wrong dish again but she decided to just go ahead and eat it. So I was faced with a problem. I was starved and had a no-eating headache (even lc-ing, I'm sensitive to even tiny fluctuations and get a headache), but here was this meal that I wasn't sure was LC or not. There wasn't much chicken, or I would have just eaten that. I ate the chicken, the sauce, and then after much internal debate, half of the pasta. I figured if it wasn't whole wheat, better half than the whole thing. It was all I could do not to devour the loaf of bread on the table while I was waiting. So I ate all that and then even though I'm maintaining, I had immediate remorse. I don't know what else I could have done, though. I applaud the guy for trying to work and I really was trying to work with him. It didn't seem like waiting tables was entirely appropriate for his situation, but he was trying. If I'd known in advance that we were going to have all those problems, I would have gone out of my way to order something simple, like just plain chicken or a salad. By the time it became apparent that it was going to be a big problem, a change would have complicated matters. It also seemed like it would have been really rude to ask for a different waiter. I probably won't be back in that area for a while, so it's unlikely this exact situation would happen again, but I just need to know for peace of mind...did I do the right thing? What would you have done? I really regret having so much of the pasta...even half was a lot...but I'd already sucked my water dry and gone through all the chicken and the veggies in the sauce. Thanks __________________ ______________________ 220/165/117-120 5'1" Sz 22/14/6-8 Mini-Goals: 170- 8/29/05 165- 9/5/05 160 155 150 145 140 135 ..and then re-evaluate from there!

01-12-2006, 06:06 PM	#3
SoHappy MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,816 Gallery: SoHappy	A half-hour turned into THREE HOURS? Wow! You are so much more patient than I am, by about....oh....two and a half hours. I'll tell you what. For any of us who have disabilities of any kind, it is certainly appreciated to have certain access to things made easier, to not be discriminated against when it comes to the chance to prove abilities in the workplace, etc. BUT, when ANYONE, with or without a disability, is left working poorly in a commercial situation, it is a detriment to them, to customers and clients, to the business, and to everyone's concept of handicapped people's abilities. I don't think many people with handicaps of any kind want to do poorly at their job and then be treated any differently than anyone else, and that goes for being treated as a charity case. This young man has certainly shown the willingness to work. He needs to be helped to find work that he can do capably so that he can become, and know he is recognized, as a valuable employee. I probably would have complained to management. At the very least, I'd have asked for the manager to render some additional help here since the order was a bit "harder" than the usual. Last edited by SoHappy : 01-12-2006 at 06:23 PM.

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01-12-2006, 05:54 PM	#2
tom_912 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Maysville KY, USA Posts: 2,666 Gallery: tom_912 Stats: 225/210/195 WOE: Atkins with cla/gla Start Date: 9/26/2005 again	Tough situation, but in the future get the hostess's attention and have her verify your order. I bet they would be happy to do it for you for your satisfaction. Remember you were the customer.

01-12-2006, 06:11 PM	#4
amy031 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2,555 Gallery: amy031 Stats: 264.4/205.2/140	that is a tough situation. i applaud the guy for trying to work also when so many won't even attempt it when they're perfectly capable, but waiting tables apparently is not for him. i'm not exactly sure how i would have handled it at the table. i wouldn't want to embarrass him, but i am paying for the food. at the very least, i would have discreetly mentioned it to the manager. he would be better off clearing tables or working in the back.

01-12-2006, 07:55 PM	#5
Kimmer Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: California Posts: 19,133 Gallery: Kimmer Stats: 318/118/125 WOE: Kimkins	I think you were wonderful. I'm a foster mom and one of my boys is mentally disabled, IQ 43. He talks and moves OK but doesn't comprehend. I don't imagine he has any chance of working where he would have to remember quick directions (a restaurant order), but I'd certainly hope that if he had the chance and screwed up ... that God would bless him with a compassionate customer. Certainly the restaurant was wrong in placing him in that job (maybe he's a relative?), but hopefully his work experience there, however short, will leave a favorable impression with him. I suppose you should have contacted the hostess or manager, but frankly, I wouldn't have had the heart. You did good.

01-12-2006, 08:03 PM	#6
msgirl Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Midwest! Posts: 423 Gallery: msgirl Stats: 157/149/135 5'9" WOE: Atkins again!! Start Date: October 2003 Atkins; November 2006; January 2009	I agree with Kimmer. I always try to "put myself in the other person's shoes."

01-13-2006, 06:08 AM	#7
aussiecarrie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South Australia Posts: 177 Gallery: aussiecarrie Stats: 286/212/170 WOE: Atkins Forever! Start Date: on and off since 2002	bless you, you did well.

01-16-2006, 05:32 PM	#8
sunset Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 6,054 Gallery: sunset	I agree with Kimmer.

01-19-2006, 01:20 PM	#9
Lehgrad MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Boston Posts: 2,017 Gallery: Lehgrad Stats: 170/141/135, 5'5" WOE: IR Diet Start Date: June '04	You are way more patient than I am as well. It is a tough situation... are you patient for this poor kid with the disability? Or do you get irritated with the wrong orders, etc. I think that it is a bad place for him. If he messed up someone's orders who had bad allergies to a certain food that would turn into a nightmare. I would think that the restaurant people might put him in another position such as dishes or cleaning.

01-20-2006, 01:35 PM	#10
Pamalee63 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Lubbock, TX Posts: 4,735 Gallery: Pamalee63 Stats: 246.5/240.8/175 (highest 260 in 1999) WOE: Atkins Start Date: 11/15/2008	If this happened to me, I would be careful of the server's feelings, but would try to have a private word with the manager or owner of the restaurant. I think they need to know the situation from a customer's point of view so they can reassign him or have someone assist him in writing down the orders or something.