My negative family slammed again! I am officially done with visits.

[Saracat]

I made the mistake of visiting for New Years Day. It seems , for a variety of reasons, no holiday is safe. First I was jumped again about my diet. My aunt (who is fat, as well as the rest of them) wanted to know how, I am serious, my husband would want to go to bed with such a boney thing. DH jumped to my defense and praised me. That shut her up for a bit. Then she began to talk about how much more attractive fat people are and how the world is crazy and fat people are "healthier". I mentioned Bill Clinton's campaign against childhood obesity and the fact that his heart disease was attributed to the diet he ate when younger. They all decided that was "nonsense". Then a war was started by my not eating all elements of the meal. I wouldn't eat the rice in a jambalaya and I wouldn't eat either her Waldorf Salad or her cukecumber salad as they both had sugar in them. She said it was an insult to her and that I must eat the food as prepared! I also didn't eat the mini bread some salami and cheese was on. DH asked her if she would be "insulted if I were diabetic or allergic to something. She said she would be. She replied that it would still be expected that I eat whatever was prepared the way it was served or don't eat. Anyway, they ended the evening by having my totally selfish cousin, who has never , and I mean this literally, done anything for another human being, lecture me about religion and Christianity and declaim I am affiliated with the Devil. I grabbed DH and left. It is going to be a cold day in hell before anymore visits are exchanged. It is too bad as other than DH They are the only family I have but the abuse is simply not worth it.
And to think I was having a great day and actually got up and went mountain hiking this morning! I was so proud of myself! My New Year's resolution is to avoid toxic people. I will never let them spoil my day again!
And I almost forgot, I asked for splenda with my coffee and my Aunt who was drinking coke Zero, inforned my she wouldn't 'allow ' it in her house as it was "poison". then she deliberately gave me a jar marked Splenda, and I tasted it and it was pure sugar. I don't think it was a mistake. It was just nasty!

[Dramus]

HOLY CRAP! That truly sucks about your family. If it were me, I would tell them all to go pound sand and never set foot anywhere near them again. What horsecrap!!!

Deliberately trying to sabotage someones diet is downright nasty. Tell your aunt to piss off!!!

It sounds to me that your family is experiencing a case of denial. Fat people are healthy? Come on...tell your aunt to pull her head out of her butt.

[Saracat]

Originally Posted by Dramus

HOLY CRAP! That truly sucks about your family. If it were me, I would tell them all to go pound sand and never set foot anywhere near them again. What horsecrap!!!

Deliberately trying to sabotage someones diet is downright nasty. Tell your aunt to piss off!!!

It sounds to me that your family is experiencing a case of denial. Fat people are healthy? Come on...tell your aunt to pull her head out of her butt.

than she make provisions for someone's health! I couldn't believe it was more important for a diabetic or someone with an allergic reaction to "eat the food as prepared' than to protect themselves. Unreal. They are toxic. And you are right! Thanks for the reply!

[Groovycadreamr]

Misery loves company. Some people are not happy unless they are making
others miserable. Your better off without them.

[Tyrone Bill]

You need to cut and run from that bunch, family or not. you're right they are toxic. They're behavior doesn't even make sense. Break it off with them for your own good.

[mrsadm]

People who lecture other people about Christianity had better learn kindness and empathy before doing so!

They are just plain mean!

Be glad that your husband stands by you and supports you, he sounds like a great guy. He's your real family!

[skinnyashell]

Send them huge loads of white bread and other junk on a weekly basis and the problem will be solved soon.

[Dramus]

Skinny...I like the way you think

I have friends who are constantly telling me that a little taste won't matter here and there. They are overweight as well and keep telling themselves that they could loose the weight if they want to. I guess they just never get around to it.

I used to feel guilty about turning down high carb foods as guests out for dinner. Now I just state that I cannot eat that and refuse.

Saracat: Its too bad that your family cannot see clear to support you in your weight loss. Stick to yer guns. Your results will speak volumes.

[mas436]

i'm just disgusted by their behavior. i'm so sorry you had to endure their ignorant and uninformed judgements...

you know, us here ALL KNOW what is healthy and what isn't. don't let their poor attitudes and close-mindedness set you back! let it make you stronger!

i think we all can sympathize with being treated unkindly about our WOE. it's really a shame!

[aussiecarrie]

Hi saracat, I feel for you, nothing like having the people you expect some support from to do the complete opposite, as for preaching christianity to you, mayhap they need to learn the principles behind this first, people that love and care about you wont treat you that way!
cheers

[aussiecarrie]

Hi saracat, I feel for you, nothing like having the people you expect some support from to do the complete opposite, as for preaching christianity to you, mayhap they need to learn the principles behind this first, people that love and care about you wont treat you that way!
cheers

[maskd]

I was going to say, go back to them when you reach goal but I see you've gone past your goal, firstly congrats on getting there!

I am very suprised that they still knocked you for the diet even after you lost the weight, can't they see that it actually works?! I'm thankful that my family doesn't really bother about my diet and lets me do what I want without comment, and I politely decline any high carb foods that are offered, normally saying that I'm not that hungry.

Sorry about the family, it's very bad that your family would treat you that way, can't really give any advice apart from just staying away from them when times of food are involved, it's very rude what happened to you and you don't deserve it.

[oow-woo]

First of all and a huge CONGRATULATIONS on your success--I noticed your stats and you are to be commended for your efforts to become healthier for life
Now about your Aunt and family..... with all due respect, they sound like a mean spirited, jealous not to mention inconsiderate group. So very sorry you had to endure such abuse (and that is just what it was--abuse)--I cannot imagine someone (particularly a family member), putting a bowl of sugar in front of you--trying to pass it off as Splenda?? Good grief. Your dh sounds like a peach of a guy--enjoy each other, make some new friends and clean the poison out of your life.

I've been lowcarbing for over 6 years and for 4 of those years my mom (who truly meant well), was always saying "oh, I feel so bad that you "can't" have these (i.e. whether dessert, rice/pasta dish--whatever)".....
Finally, one Christmas I told her that I would ONLY go for Christmas dinner if she promised to never again comment on my way of eating-- she did and since then--she's been pretty good

Good luck to you--wishing you a great new year full of kind people...

Carol

[idioglossic]

you must have made them crazy... by how fabby you looked at Christmas..

[Smythe]

family's can be brutal!!

[hhhmom74]

Saracat!!!!!! No one should have to go through that once let alone twice!!! I would stay away from those nasty people. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that.

[Valentine Baby]

awwwwww...you need hugs

[debbiejo]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm floored. It amazes me when people try and control something that does not affect their life at all. Your weight loss has nothing to do with her. Unless you were anorexic she should have no worries about your loss, but of course jealousy is working a big part of this. What do your parents say about this?
My brother and sisters and I will get together in a few weeks...maybe it won't be so bad

[sugarless4life]

Remember this: FRIENDS ARE THE FAMILY WE CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES.



Betty

[Dabbadooey]

The problem is she is extremely jealous of the control you exert as well as how good you look. She is to be pitied, but still stay away!!!!

[jmac122578]

I like the new years resolution though. Stay away from toxic people.

[tama25]

Sara,
Calm down and remember Misery loves company! I think your family is just jelious and you need to remember you changed things. People dont like change. You were always just like them, you ate what they ate, did what they did and weighed what they did. Now you changed and they cant. I think it is more jeliousy than evilness. I do agree though you shouldnt have to take it. If you do visit them again, I would bring along news and doc reports showing what over weight does to your health and prove to them it is not a good thing. Who knows maybe you can lead them on a healthy life as you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sharon]

So sorry that you went through this. Maybe "absense makes the heart fonder" so staying away for a time period may just relax the situation.

[Diana]

Its all jealousy!! They want you looking like them

[averyjenn]

Wow girl, all I can say is your New Year's resolution is a good one - here's to staying away from toxic people *clink*

[JONAH'S GRANNY]

A lot of it is called JEALOUSY.

Secondly, friends and family do eventually just get tired of it and SHUT UP!
I think they eventually see that it hasn't killed you, you do look good, you do feel good, etc. My family thought I looked really good; one brother did say I could stand about five more pounds but overall everyone thought I looked great and I'm a 57 year old grandmother who weighs around 105 pounds and who continues to eat in a healthy way. Believe me, they will eventually accept it.

[Puppy]

Sorry you have to deal with this, but if they can't except you as you are then so be it. I can't believe they had the audacity to lecture you about religion. Don't get me started on religious biggots. They sound like very weak individuals.

I heard a new one recently calling toxic people "energy vampires." This sounds like your family.

Do what is best for you and tell the rest to (quoting Dramus) "piss off!"

[PrincessDB]

It seems that this incident allowed your DH to show that he is a keeper! I'm sorry about all the fam issues (they sound downright nasty!) but take heart in the fact that you have a kind, supportive DH who is willing to stick up for you!