Arrrrrrg ex-mother in law

gavinsmom · 12-08-2005, 08:03 AM

Well most of you know that I left my hubby of 8 years and his mom has been e-mailing me. I wrote her yesterday telling her about how it sucks that my ex gets to have his same life, house, job, ect.. while me and the kids have to start over. She wrote me back and told me Well you were the one who left. Basically when a woman leaves first that is how it goes.

Then she said that she would help me out as long as I dont lie to her. For one no thanks, for 2 I have never lied to her, she needs to look at her son.
Arrrrrgggggggggg just leave me alone if you have negitive things to say I dont need your crap.

Sorry rant over........

Cutie · 12-08-2005, 08:04 AM

awww...hang in there, sweetie!

carebear · 12-08-2005, 08:36 AM

For you! You don't need him and you da** sure don't need her! Take care

Heather150 · 12-08-2005, 08:40 AM

Sorry you're going thru this..but always remember...you can NEVER make the son's mom turn on him. By telling her what you did...you gave her ammo to defend him.
Not sure how close you were to her...but keep topics to other things, otherwise you may be getting yourself into battles you can't get out of.

gavinsmom · 12-08-2005, 08:43 AM

You are totally right. I forget the fact that she is HIS mother. I was just thinking that to myself. I will not make the mistake of telling her anything like that again.

I will keep the topics on her grandkids.

SoHappy · 12-08-2005, 08:47 AM

I thought when you divorced, all assets accumulated during the course of the marriage were divided and half awarded to both parties, plus if there were dependent children, the parent without custody paid some child support money to the parent who was caring for the children. That's how it's been with those I've known in this situation. Maybe your state has different rules/laws.

I can see that your ex would certainly still have his same "life" (except you and the kids aren't in it!!!), and I can see that he would still have his same job, of course.....but the same house? Was that his house prior to your marriage? Is that why he's keeping it? If not, is he paying you 1/2 of the equity you, as a couple, had built up in the home? Is he buying you out?

I'm wishing you the best right now. These situations are so hard. But usually not as hard as staying with them would have been. Do you have an attorney or advocate working for you? Best wishes.

BigRed · 12-09-2005, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gavinsmom

I wrote her yesterday telling her about how it sucks that my ex gets to have his same life, house, job, ect.. while me and the kids have to start over. She wrote me back and told me Well you were the one who left. Basically when a woman leaves first that is how it goes........

emails are easy to delete w/o reading.
question: why did you write her?

abbynormal · 12-09-2005, 05:27 AM

SoHappy is on track! Get an attorney and make sure you and the kids get what you deserve! I don't know specifically about Texas, but most states are community property so you get half -- and that's before the support for the children.

As for the ex-MIL, that's her baby boy. She'll always take his side. Stand strong my friend! You'll make it! - Abby

Orphalie · 12-09-2005, 09:05 AM

Texas is pretty good about dividing up all the assetsw from what I've seen of people I know getting divorced. Also you can seek up to 25% of his income as child support I believe and will most likely get it. You can have it garnished directly from his paycheck. He may also have to pay for all their health care in addition to the 25%. No state will give you what you dont ask for, its very easy to get started as nost counties have free lawyers you can seek advice from.

gavinsmom · 12-10-2005, 11:40 AM

Yes all that is true, but to go to court get child support started it takes a while, it just sucks right now. But I know this too will pass.

gettingstrength · 12-10-2005, 09:37 PM

Orphalie · 12-11-2005, 07:41 PM

It actualy doesnt take that long at all in Texas if hes working. I had a friend who went down to the child support office and in 2 weeks (which was when he got his next check) she had a check.

JAL · 12-16-2005, 02:08 AM

If you haven't signed anything.. please reconsider giving your ex everything. My mother gave my father the house, money, ect thinking it was the right thing to do because she left. 15 years later she is still struggling, he has moved on and is doing well. Taking her half would have given her the head start needed to start a new life for herself without digging herself into debt.

12-08-2005, 08:03 AM	#1
gavinsmom MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Tx Posts: 2,351 Gallery: gavinsmom Stats: 215/199/140 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 9/22/08	Arrrrrrg ex-mother in law Well most of you know that I left my hubby of 8 years and his mom has been e-mailing me. I wrote her yesterday telling her about how it sucks that my ex gets to have his same life, house, job, ect.. while me and the kids have to start over. She wrote me back and told me Well you were the one who left. Basically when a woman leaves first that is how it goes. Then she said that she would help me out as long as I dont lie to her. For one no thanks, for 2 I have never lied to her, she needs to look at her son. Arrrrrgggggggggg just leave me alone if you have negitive things to say I dont need your crap. Sorry rant over........ __________________ the greatest success is happiness....

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12-08-2005, 08:04 AM	#2
Cutie happy girlie girl! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: TX Posts: 6,283 Gallery: Cutie Stats: lost 110lbs. 245-135; maintaining 135-140 :) WOE: IE w/mostly low GL foods	awww...hang in there, sweetie!

12-08-2005, 08:36 AM	#3
carebear Very "Special" Loungie Brat Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A little place I like to call Home Posts: 18,408 Gallery: carebear Stats: Size 24/ Size 16/ Size 8 WOE: Low-Carbin it! Start Date: Original start October 2003;Re-inducting 4/22/06	For you! You don't need him and you da** sure don't need her! Take care

12-08-2005, 08:40 AM	#4
Heather150 Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 8,939 Gallery: Heather150 Stats: 205/120 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Feb 28 2003	Sorry you're going thru this..but always remember...you can NEVER make the son's mom turn on him. By telling her what you did...you gave her ammo to defend him. Not sure how close you were to her...but keep topics to other things, otherwise you may be getting yourself into battles you can't get out of.

12-08-2005, 08:43 AM	#5
gavinsmom MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Tx Posts: 2,351 Gallery: gavinsmom Stats: 215/199/140 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 9/22/08	You are totally right. I forget the fact that she is HIS mother. I was just thinking that to myself. I will not make the mistake of telling her anything like that again. I will keep the topics on her grandkids.

12-08-2005, 08:47 AM	#6
SoHappy MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,816 Gallery: SoHappy	I thought when you divorced, all assets accumulated during the course of the marriage were divided and half awarded to both parties, plus if there were dependent children, the parent without custody paid some child support money to the parent who was caring for the children. That's how it's been with those I've known in this situation. Maybe your state has different rules/laws. I can see that your ex would certainly still have his same "life" (except you and the kids aren't in it!!!), and I can see that he would still have his same job, of course.....but the same house? Was that his house prior to your marriage? Is that why he's keeping it? If not, is he paying you 1/2 of the equity you, as a couple, had built up in the home? Is he buying you out? I'm wishing you the best right now. These situations are so hard. But usually not as hard as staying with them would have been. Do you have an attorney or advocate working for you? Best wishes.

12-09-2005, 05:27 AM	#8
abbynormal Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Welcome to the Bluff Posts: 8,169 Gallery: abbynormal WOE: yikes!	SoHappy is on track! Get an attorney and make sure you and the kids get what you deserve! I don't know specifically about Texas, but most states are community property so you get half -- and that's before the support for the children. As for the ex-MIL, that's her baby boy. She'll always take his side. Stand strong my friend! You'll make it! - Abby

12-09-2005, 09:05 AM	#9
Orphalie MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dallas Texan misplaced to Mountain Home ID Posts: 1,001 Gallery: Orphalie Stats: 220/189/140 WOE: atkins Start Date: Jan 8th 07	Texas is pretty good about dividing up all the assetsw from what I've seen of people I know getting divorced. Also you can seek up to 25% of his income as child support I believe and will most likely get it. You can have it garnished directly from his paycheck. He may also have to pay for all their health care in addition to the 25%. No state will give you what you dont ask for, its very easy to get started as nost counties have free lawyers you can seek advice from.

12-10-2005, 11:40 AM	#10
gavinsmom MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Tx Posts: 2,351 Gallery: gavinsmom Stats: 215/199/140 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 9/22/08	Yes all that is true, but to go to court get child support started it takes a while, it just sucks right now. But I know this too will pass.

12-10-2005, 09:37 PM	#11
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

12-11-2005, 07:41 PM	#12
Orphalie MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dallas Texan misplaced to Mountain Home ID Posts: 1,001 Gallery: Orphalie Stats: 220/189/140 WOE: atkins Start Date: Jan 8th 07	It actualy doesnt take that long at all in Texas if hes working. I had a friend who went down to the child support office and in 2 weeks (which was when he got his next check) she had a check.

12-16-2005, 02:08 AM	#13
JAL Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: USA Posts: 4,878 Gallery: JAL Stats: 245/235/220/140 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 01/09/2008	If you haven't signed anything.. please reconsider giving your ex everything. My mother gave my father the house, money, ect thinking it was the right thing to do because she left. 15 years later she is still struggling, he has moved on and is doing well. Taking her half would have given her the head start needed to start a new life for herself without digging herself into debt.