I think I have just made a break thru

karenb · 11-20-2005, 01:43 PM

concerning my sister. She's been sick for about 3 years and in a nursing home for the last two. We moved her down here in April and our Mom moved here in Sept. Basically it's like my sister had a stroke. She's bed ridden and can't communcate. She cries hysterically when she sees us. I offered to have my sister and Mom with us - not in the same house. Now I'm feeling overwhelmed with having to handle all my sister's finical and medical stuff. I should mention Mom is 90 and getting a little forgetful and can't hear well even with her hearing aids. Today I admitted to myself that I really don't like my sister and we have always had problems. I feel bad saying that but it's true. Then I realized there isn't that much to her finaical and medical work to keep up on. Most of it has been sorted out. I was making more of a big deal about to myself than it amounts to. I really feel releived to say it and more importantly to know it!

SoHappy · 11-20-2005, 02:40 PM

Glad to hear this, Karen. I've followed your story with your sister and Mom ever since your sis lived in Iowa. You stepped up and took upon your shoulders the worry and decisions that needed to be made, and seeing to the care required for your family. I'm sorry to hear that there have been problems with your feelings for your sister, but never-the-less, you have gone to bat for her when she had need.

Glad to hear that it has come to the point now of mostly being sorted out, and that it may be fairly easy to attend to and keep up with now finally. You've bitten off a big amount to chew. I really admire what you have done. It's hard. It's exhausting. It upends your life occasionally, and it seems unending, unappreciated, and unforgiving. But you seem to have come to a place where you can manage and maybe even rest for awhile now.....Hope so.

Wish your sister's doctors could find some method or medication to bring her some relief from the extreme crying jags when she sees you. I'm sorry. Even if the crying isn't triggered from sorrow at the moment, we all respond to tears and crying by having our emotions torn into, and that is so very hard to take over and over, even if we mentally understand what's going on. Emotionally we still are wrenched.

Good luck as this continues. Stay strong. Wish I could help in some way. Keep posting to us and perhaps we can be a sounding post anyway.....

gettingstrength · 11-25-2005, 06:06 PM

karenb · 11-30-2005, 07:42 PM

Last week I got 2 medicare cards for my sister. One from Iowa where she used to live and one from here. The local SS Office has called me twice so they know she doesn't live in Iowa! So today I wrote a letter to the SS office where she used to live and send a copy of the letter from the Iowa SS to the local office. Of course you can never get to them thru the phone - line is always busy! She was a teacher and therefore a state employee so I also got a letter saying they had recalculated something and she owes the school district money. Then it says something that makes me think it's not her but the school district that owes the money. So I asked DH who works with 'govn talk' all the time and he doesn't understand it! I'm sending a copy of it to my sister's friend who still works there to find out what the heck it's all about.

And I get a bill from some tests she had done in Sept 2004! They had the wrong address for my mom then she's moved twice since then. Why can't the post office just check for the address in the phone directory? I know - it's against policy

Just venting

Pamalee63 · 12-01-2005, 10:19 PM

karenb · 12-02-2005, 02:53 AM

I was kind of hyper earlier thinking of everything I had left to do before Christmas. Someone on the playground said isn't 2 weeks of Christmas decorations etc enough. So I calmed down. I got some decorations for my sister's room but won't take them in for a bit I think it might get her down. On Dec 12th another computer company rep is comine in with their type of computer for her to try out. DH will be with me this time.

11-20-2005, 01:43 PM	#1
karenb Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Texas Panhandle Between New Mexico and Oklahoma Posts: 13,559 Gallery: karenb	I think I have just made a break thru concerning my sister. She's been sick for about 3 years and in a nursing home for the last two. We moved her down here in April and our Mom moved here in Sept. Basically it's like my sister had a stroke. She's bed ridden and can't communcate. She cries hysterically when she sees us. I offered to have my sister and Mom with us - not in the same house. Now I'm feeling overwhelmed with having to handle all my sister's finical and medical stuff. I should mention Mom is 90 and getting a little forgetful and can't hear well even with her hearing aids. Today I admitted to myself that I really don't like my sister and we have always had problems. I feel bad saying that but it's true. Then I realized there isn't that much to her finaical and medical work to keep up on. Most of it has been sorted out. I was making more of a big deal about to myself than it amounts to. I really feel releived to say it and more importantly to know it!

11-30-2005, 07:42 PM	#4
karenb Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Texas Panhandle Between New Mexico and Oklahoma Posts: 13,559 Gallery: karenb	Stupid govrn! Last week I got 2 medicare cards for my sister. One from Iowa where she used to live and one from here. The local SS Office has called me twice so they know she doesn't live in Iowa! So today I wrote a letter to the SS office where she used to live and send a copy of the letter from the Iowa SS to the local office. Of course you can never get to them thru the phone - line is always busy! She was a teacher and therefore a state employee so I also got a letter saying they had recalculated something and she owes the school district money. Then it says something that makes me think it's not her but the school district that owes the money. So I asked DH who works with 'govn talk' all the time and he doesn't understand it! I'm sending a copy of it to my sister's friend who still works there to find out what the heck it's all about. And I get a bill from some tests she had done in Sept 2004! They had the wrong address for my mom then she's moved twice since then. Why can't the post office just check for the address in the phone directory? I know - it's against policy Just venting Last edited by karenb : 11-30-2005 at 07:44 PM.

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11-20-2005, 02:40 PM	#2
SoHappy MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 2,816 Gallery: SoHappy	Glad to hear this, Karen. I've followed your story with your sister and Mom ever since your sis lived in Iowa. You stepped up and took upon your shoulders the worry and decisions that needed to be made, and seeing to the care required for your family. I'm sorry to hear that there have been problems with your feelings for your sister, but never-the-less, you have gone to bat for her when she had need. Glad to hear that it has come to the point now of mostly being sorted out, and that it may be fairly easy to attend to and keep up with now finally. You've bitten off a big amount to chew. I really admire what you have done. It's hard. It's exhausting. It upends your life occasionally, and it seems unending, unappreciated, and unforgiving. But you seem to have come to a place where you can manage and maybe even rest for awhile now.....Hope so. Wish your sister's doctors could find some method or medication to bring her some relief from the extreme crying jags when she sees you. I'm sorry. Even if the crying isn't triggered from sorrow at the moment, we all respond to tears and crying by having our emotions torn into, and that is so very hard to take over and over, even if we mentally understand what's going on. Emotionally we still are wrenched. Good luck as this continues. Stay strong. Wish I could help in some way. Keep posting to us and perhaps we can be a sounding post anyway.....

11-25-2005, 06:06 PM	#3
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

12-01-2005, 10:19 PM	#5
Pamalee63 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Lubbock, TX Posts: 4,735 Gallery: Pamalee63 Stats: 246.5/240.8/175 (highest 260 in 1999) WOE: Atkins Start Date: 11/15/2008

12-02-2005, 02:53 AM	#6
karenb Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Texas Panhandle Between New Mexico and Oklahoma Posts: 13,559 Gallery: karenb	I was kind of hyper earlier thinking of everything I had left to do before Christmas. Someone on the playground said isn't 2 weeks of Christmas decorations etc enough. So I calmed down. I got some decorations for my sister's room but won't take them in for a bit I think it might get her down. On Dec 12th another computer company rep is comine in with their type of computer for her to try out. DH will be with me this time.