Just left my hubby of 8 years

gavinsmom · 11-18-2005, 08:38 PM

I havent posted on here for a while because I just left my hubby 2 days ago. I had to move in with my brother with my 2 children. I will never let a man have this much control over my life again. Sorry sob nothing in his life is going to change except the fact that me and the kids are gone. HE has everything. I on the other hand have to start from scratch. HE has made perfectly sure that I havent went back to school over the years or even had a job. His way of controlling me. But thats ok, I am keeping my head high. I am not even a shell of the person that I was when I met him 8 years ago, and frankly I am looking forward to finding that girl again. I am only 27, and as far as I am concerned my life is just starting. I am going to go back to school, get a job, and take care of my kids by myself. Da** a man. This is me time..... I am not going to use this as an excuse to gain weight, I am going to fight even harder. I am joining a gym as my christmas present to me. Heck they boys better look out..... Just joking... I am a mom, and I dont intend on introducing strange men into their lives.... I simply meant to say........ I am going to start living......... FOR ME.
--my kids will always come first......

Thanks for listening.

DisneyPrincess · 11-18-2005, 08:40 PM

Wow...I dont even know what to say except the best of luck to you and your children. Stay strong, make that man regret hurting you and remember you are worth everything.

lilmama · 11-18-2005, 08:46 PM

Wow!! I am so sorry you've had a hard time. Here you are a person who is being oppressed by your husband and I get upset about the problems DH and I have which seem to be miniscule. You are a strong woman and you have a good head on your shoulders. It's time for you to do you and be happy. It takes courage to leave a relationship like that and I commend you for that. Keep your head up and things will look brighter.

shanes_grrl · 11-18-2005, 08:50 PM

You can do this and you will come out on top of this, no matter how it ends up. Just think about you and the kids right now.

(HUGS)

We can talk if ya just need an ear.

tom_912 · 11-18-2005, 09:13 PM

I wish you the best of luck... Be strong!!

Purrgirl · 11-18-2005, 11:24 PM

I really wish you and your kids the best. I'm in the process of leaving a 9-year relationship and I'm 29 years old. I can somewhat relate. Is your husband trying to get you back? Out of curiousity did he do something as a "last straw?" Feel free to PM if you want.

charmedpea · 11-19-2005, 04:02 AM

Good luck to you.. You can do this.. You dont need a man to get to your goals.. To many times I see women staying with the other half because of the children, not realizing they are doing more harm than good..

hugges to you and your kids..

charmed

ApumpkinC · 11-19-2005, 05:24 AM

to you gavinsmom. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. just 2 years ago (when I was pregnant with my gavin) I went through my parents separating and that was hard enough. I wish you and your children the best of luck. Stay strong - I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. You and your family will be in our prayers.

Mandy

gettingstrength · 11-25-2005, 06:23 PM

lee · 11-26-2005, 07:07 AM

good luck, wishing you well and the strength to get thru the days ahead

careb · 11-29-2005, 09:25 AM

I am so sorry you are going thur this tough time. Be strong and when you come out of this you will be a better person for it. Best of luck to you and your kids...just trust in God and he will provide for you.

carebear · 11-29-2005, 01:16 PM

You go Girl!
I wish you the best and I hope that everything works out in your favor! By reading your post I can tell your heart is in the right place and I can see that your motivation will take you far.

Pamalee63 · 11-29-2005, 10:24 PM

You can be a good mom and start taking care of yourself at the same time. I wish you the best.

gavinsmom · 12-01-2005, 07:52 AM

Thanks everyone... I have been talking to the kids father, at first it was argumentative, and lately it seems that he is actually getting it through his head that we are not going to be together, but he needs to be civil for the kids sake. I am going to let him have them for christmas break, which I am a little uneasy about. SO if he screws this up it will be hard for him to get them again without some kind of court order.

But I think he will do fine. But even with him trying to be nice he still puts us last which confirms that leaving him was good. I just keep telling myself "That is why I left him in the first place."

The good thing is that I can just let things go now, because he is no longer my concern. I just hope that it gets easier to not think about him, what he is doing ect.. I will always have a bond with him because we have children together, so I just hope I can learn to transition to just friends.. ITs hard, but I guess it is supposed to be.

Thank you all for your encouraging words.... It really helps me that so many of you tell me that things are going to be ok... I know they will but it feels good to hear it too...

Thanks...........

idioglossic · 12-03-2005, 12:51 PM

yes yes and yes you can be just best friends... go on with your life.. and find happiness..

RobinB · 12-05-2005, 05:39 PM

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!!

Nicole4389 · 12-05-2005, 07:06 PM

You couldn't have said it better

You need to start living for yourself, and I hope everything works out. Best of Luck!

walkingwoman · 12-20-2005, 05:52 PM

How are things going?

11-18-2005, 08:38 PM	#1
gavinsmom MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Tx Posts: 2,351 Gallery: gavinsmom Stats: 215/199/140 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 9/22/08	Just left my hubby of 8 years I havent posted on here for a while because I just left my hubby 2 days ago. I had to move in with my brother with my 2 children. I will never let a man have this much control over my life again. Sorry sob nothing in his life is going to change except the fact that me and the kids are gone. HE has everything. I on the other hand have to start from scratch. HE has made perfectly sure that I havent went back to school over the years or even had a job. His way of controlling me. But thats ok, I am keeping my head high. I am not even a shell of the person that I was when I met him 8 years ago, and frankly I am looking forward to finding that girl again. I am only 27, and as far as I am concerned my life is just starting. I am going to go back to school, get a job, and take care of my kids by myself. Da** a man. This is me time..... I am not going to use this as an excuse to gain weight, I am going to fight even harder. I am joining a gym as my christmas present to me. Heck they boys better look out..... Just joking... I am a mom, and I dont intend on introducing strange men into their lives.... I simply meant to say........ I am going to start living......... FOR ME. --my kids will always come first...... Thanks for listening. __________________ the greatest success is happiness....

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11-18-2005, 08:40 PM	#2
DisneyPrincess Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: N.C. Posts: 20,855 Blog Entries: 48 Gallery: DisneyPrincess Stats: Heavy/squishy/lean WOE: Gluten/Wheat free Start Date: Every day is a new opportunity to make it count!	Wow...I dont even know what to say except the best of luck to you and your children. Stay strong, make that man regret hurting you and remember you are worth everything.

11-18-2005, 08:46 PM	#3
lilmama Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Fort Lewis, WA Posts: 985 Gallery: lilmama Stats: This time around 260/223/174 WOE: High Protein and Fat Moderate Carbs Start Date: Restarting 01/19/2008	Wow!! I am so sorry you've had a hard time. Here you are a person who is being oppressed by your husband and I get upset about the problems DH and I have which seem to be miniscule. You are a strong woman and you have a good head on your shoulders. It's time for you to do you and be happy. It takes courage to leave a relationship like that and I commend you for that. Keep your head up and things will look brighter.

11-18-2005, 08:50 PM	#4
shanes_grrl Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 798 Gallery: shanes_grrl Stats: 289.6/286.0/150 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 10/2/06	You can do this and you will come out on top of this, no matter how it ends up. Just think about you and the kids right now. (HUGS) We can talk if ya just need an ear.

11-18-2005, 09:13 PM	#5
tom_912 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Maysville KY, USA Posts: 2,666 Gallery: tom_912 Stats: 225/210/195 WOE: Atkins with cla/gla Start Date: 9/26/2005 again	I wish you the best of luck... Be strong!!

11-18-2005, 11:24 PM	#6
Purrgirl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 5,301 Gallery: Purrgirl Stats: 146/128 5'6	I really wish you and your kids the best. I'm in the process of leaving a 9-year relationship and I'm 29 years old. I can somewhat relate. Is your husband trying to get you back? Out of curiousity did he do something as a "last straw?" Feel free to PM if you want.

11-19-2005, 04:02 AM	#7
charmedpea MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: ohio Posts: 2,080 Gallery: charmedpea Stats: 234/203.5/150 WOE: atkins Start Date: may 2005	Good luck to you.. You can do this.. You dont need a man to get to your goals.. To many times I see women staying with the other half because of the children, not realizing they are doing more harm than good.. hugges to you and your kids.. charmed

11-19-2005, 05:24 AM	#8
ApumpkinC Junior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Lake Helen, FL Posts: 28 Gallery: ApumpkinC Stats: 232.8/216.8/145 WOE: Atkins Start Date: September 26, 2005	to you gavinsmom. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. just 2 years ago (when I was pregnant with my gavin) I went through my parents separating and that was hard enough. I wish you and your children the best of luck. Stay strong - I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. You and your family will be in our prayers. Mandy

11-25-2005, 06:23 PM	#9
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

11-26-2005, 07:07 AM	#10
lee MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: manhattan, nyc Posts: 1,830 Gallery: lee WOE: Atkins Start Date: January2000	good luck, wishing you well and the strength to get thru the days ahead

11-29-2005, 09:25 AM	#11
careb Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 2,871 Gallery: careb	I am so sorry you are going thur this tough time. Be strong and when you come out of this you will be a better person for it. Best of luck to you and your kids...just trust in God and he will provide for you.

11-29-2005, 01:16 PM	#12
carebear Very "Special" Loungie Brat Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: A little place I like to call Home Posts: 18,408 Gallery: carebear Stats: Size 24/ Size 16/ Size 8 WOE: Low-Carbin it! Start Date: Original start October 2003;Re-inducting 4/22/06	You go Girl! I wish you the best and I hope that everything works out in your favor! By reading your post I can tell your heart is in the right place and I can see that your motivation will take you far.

11-29-2005, 10:24 PM	#13
Pamalee63 Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Lubbock, TX Posts: 4,735 Gallery: Pamalee63 Stats: 246.5/240.8/175 (highest 260 in 1999) WOE: Atkins Start Date: 11/15/2008	You can be a good mom and start taking care of yourself at the same time. I wish you the best.

12-01-2005, 07:52 AM	#14
gavinsmom MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Houston, Tx Posts: 2,351 Gallery: gavinsmom Stats: 215/199/140 WOE: Low Carb Start Date: 9/22/08	Thanks everyone... I have been talking to the kids father, at first it was argumentative, and lately it seems that he is actually getting it through his head that we are not going to be together, but he needs to be civil for the kids sake. I am going to let him have them for christmas break, which I am a little uneasy about. SO if he screws this up it will be hard for him to get them again without some kind of court order. But I think he will do fine. But even with him trying to be nice he still puts us last which confirms that leaving him was good. I just keep telling myself "That is why I left him in the first place." The good thing is that I can just let things go now, because he is no longer my concern. I just hope that it gets easier to not think about him, what he is doing ect.. I will always have a bond with him because we have children together, so I just hope I can learn to transition to just friends.. ITs hard, but I guess it is supposed to be. Thank you all for your encouraging words.... It really helps me that so many of you tell me that things are going to be ok... I know they will but it feels good to hear it too... Thanks...........

12-03-2005, 12:51 PM	#15
idioglossic Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Virgin Islands Posts: 9,702 Gallery: idioglossic Stats: 172/128/125 5'2" WOE: Stillmans, low carb, low fat, low sodium, 2 meals Start Date: August 29, 2004	yes yes and yes you can be just best friends... go on with your life.. and find happiness..

12-05-2005, 05:39 PM	#16
RobinB Heart Writer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,170 Gallery: RobinB WOE: Atkins Start Date: restart March '07	Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!!

12-05-2005, 07:06 PM	#17
Nicole4389 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Narragansett, Rhode Island Posts: 266 Gallery: Nicole4389 Stats: when joined site >280/8/29/07 >267.5/Goal>170 WOE: Weight Watchers Start Date: December 5, 2005	You couldn't have said it better You need to start living for yourself, and I hope everything works out. Best of Luck!

12-20-2005, 05:52 PM	#18
walkingwoman Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Paradise Posts: 6,937 Gallery: walkingwoman Stats: 12/4/2-4 WOE: Who knows? Start Date: every day is a new day	How are things going?