i'm so sad and upset

mas436 · 11-16-2005, 09:18 AM

i just really need to vent, and could use some hugs, as i've been crying since 5 pm last night.

my parents invited my paris-residing french boyfriend for thanksgiving (to take place in texas) in may. for several months i've planned for this week off with him and my family. it was to be my first time ever bringing a guy to my family's home in texas. the idea of this week was of such importance to me... it goes way beyond them paying for his direct paris-texas flight. it was a hugeeeeeeeeeeeee emotional deal for me. A BIG BIG DEAL.

anyways, my boyfriend called me last night to tell me that after two days of frantically searching for his passport, he fears that it is definitely gone. he thinks he accidentally threw it out with other stuff when he was spring cleaning in may. although he could get an emergency passport, he would still need a visa from the american embassy to come (that's the rule post 9/11 with an emergency passport). his flight is scheduled for this saturday morning, and there is just no way he will be able to get the documents in time.

my thanksgiving is ruined. i will be all alone in texas for a week. i never would have taken a week off if he hadn't planned to come. i'm just devastated. i have no idea what to tell my parents. no matter what i say, i feel like they're going to think he's an irresponsible person. i can't be ANGRY, per say, because it was an honest accident. he never meant to hurt me or embarrass me... he feels so horrible.

he's going to turn his apartment upside-down again tonight, and if he can't find it, i will have to call my parents. he is going to reimburse them for the ticket, and wants to call them personally to apologize.

is there anything anyone can say to make me feel better?

aim in Fla*working · 11-16-2005, 09:22 AM

well...that does suck. Tell your parents that the date is off...change it to a Christmas get together and he can use the ticket then....and they will get to see you twice..WHATEVER you do...don't let this ruin your Thanksgiving with your parents...that is like a slap in the face to their generocity IMO..... I hope he finds it tonight

Rogue · 11-16-2005, 09:23 AM

It must be hard for you to be going thru this now, especially thru the holidays. I cannot imagine the millions of thoughts running in your head right now. I do hope your boyfriend finds his passport!....If Not maybe you could reverse the flight and fly overthere for one week....

I hope you feel better and it works out.

mas436 · 11-16-2005, 09:26 AM

ya my bf proposed coming for christmas... we'll see if my parents are up for that. i KNOW for sure that if i mope around the house for a week, my mother will be extremely upset with me, so i need find some kind of positive side to this.

i had so much emotionally invested in this trip. my mother is usually NOT-SO-NICE to me, but with my bf there, she would have been on good behavior. now i risk the usual routine of her picking on me and getting me down. i never would have gone for a whole week alone.

catkan · 11-16-2005, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mas436

he's going to turn his apartment upside-down again tonight, and if he can't find it, i will have to call my parents. he is going to reimburse them for the ticket, and wants to call them personally to apologize.

Wow you have generous parents, that is one thing to be thankful for. Don't let this ruin your Thanksgiving with your parents. If he doesn't find it tonight, tell them about it. And hopefully your BF follows thru on his intentions.

lowcarbette · 11-16-2005, 09:33 AM

RobinB · 11-16-2005, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aim in Fla*working

well...that does suck. Tell your parents that the date is off...change it to a Christmas get together and he can use the ticket then....and they will get to see you twice..WHATEVER you do...don't let this ruin your Thanksgiving with your parents...that is like a slap in the face to their generocity IMO..... I hope he finds it tonight

What she said! Don't let it ruin your day. . . . and maybe he will still find it. Sounds like something my dh would do. . . .

Tammy2002 · 11-16-2005, 10:01 AM

can you go to Paris instead? just a thought... wouldn't that be nice?

walkthebeach · 11-16-2005, 10:08 AM

Awww, that is a rotten shame about the passport! I hope and pray he finds it tonight. My daughter had a French boyfriend and there was a lot of traveling back and forth for a while, so I can relate... And the rules are so much stricter now too for the international travel. I will say a prayer....

mas436 · 11-16-2005, 10:08 AM

i'm at the point where i've cried so much that i feel numb now. strange. i really really needed and wanted this unity between my personal life with my boyfriend and my family. relations with my parents have been strained recently, and my boyfriend would have been so supportive of me, and would have just WOWED my family.

when he first told me i just started laughing and said, "well... find it!" it took me a couple of hours to let it sink in that he had already been looking for 2 days.

i don't get to see him very often, and my mind was so mentally prepared to see him in texas. it's a huge disappoint... i'm just crushed.

i2849 · 11-16-2005, 10:15 AM

At least you get to see your parents for a week. I haven't seen mine in 2 years. They live on the east coast.

I hope you get to see BF soon though. Tell him that next time all important documents should be in a safe place.

Melle's_Sweetheart · 11-16-2005, 10:34 AM

I don't want to be a kill-joy, but I have an alternate opinion on this dilemma:

Have you considered that in Europe, passports are a vital part of your identification? My Husband is Dutch and he needed a passport to get a job, to travel (of course) AND he even needed to submit a copy of his passport when he cancelled his cell-phone subscription. Having said this, I'm rather curious why your BF would have "accidently" thrown his away. Is it possible (and again, I'm only speculating) that he doesn't WANT to meet your family and is LYING to you?

If I'm wrong, then at his very worst, he's a bit scatter-brained to have thrown it out. I know this isn't a relationship support board, but maybe you should take a good look at THAT for the long haul!

sandooch140 · 11-16-2005, 11:00 AM

Mas--(((HUG))) You have gotten some great advice here. If your relationship with your parents is strained right now, then going to Paris to be with your boyfriend for Thanksgiving sounds like a great idea. If that is not feasible and he comes out for Christmas instead, why not invite a good friend to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with you and your family? Your parents will certainly be on their best behavior then, right?

In any case, I'm sure your parents will understand. Accidents happen all the time. I'll be thinking of you!

aim in Fla*working · 11-16-2005, 11:05 AM

mas436...sounds like your parents (MOM) is just like my mom...she spends 500 on clothes for me at the mall and then when everyone says..."
wow you are so lucky to have a mom like that" she looks at me adoringly...then for weeks...I hear " I did go spend 500 dollars on your clothes"
Man, it is rough...but some people don't get it.. I kow you have to handle this situation with care..... Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

mas436 · 11-16-2005, 11:13 AM

he has already met and spent time with my family. there is just no way possible he did this on purpose, i'm 200% sure of that. he loves my family, my family loves him.

it's really not feasible for me to go to paris... i already have a ticket home to texas, and a last minute ticket to paris from new york can be around $1000-$2000. if i was rich, maybe i could swing that!

sandooch, i'm definitely going to try to find some high school friends to hang out with. that's not my top choice, but i'll make do.

thank you guys for you love and support... reality is setting in, and i'm just going to try and make the best of it.

sandooch140 · 11-16-2005, 12:24 PM

Quote:

reality is setting in, and i'm just going to try and make the best of it.

That's the way to look at it, Mas! You are one tough cookie (ahem...low carb cookie)!

mas436 · 11-16-2005, 12:35 PM

haha... thanks sandy. any advice on how to break it to my parents? i'm so worried about their response.

SJN02 · 11-16-2005, 03:56 PM

Just tell them the truth. They can't get mad at you for telling the truth.

Purrgirl · 11-16-2005, 06:31 PM

I would definitely be honest with your parents. If not they could come to other conclusions.... I'm sorry.

walkthebeach · 11-17-2005, 03:38 PM

I disagree somewhat with the poster who said that a passport is a vital piece of ID in Europe. Two sides to that: my daughter lived with 3 Spanish girls when she lived in LeMans last year. None of them had a passport, which blew her mind. She found out that sinceEurope has open borders now, except for Switzerland, you can go where you want in Europe without displaying your passport. She had wanted to go to Italy via Switzerland last Feb. on holiday with them, and they all told her they couldn't go to Switz 'cause no passport. But, on the other hand, just to be on the safe side, and to be ready for a trip to Africa or the US, your bf should keep better tabs on his passport. But we all make mistakes. Right now, I know where my passport is. When I got it, I made a point of telling myself, don't screw up and misplace this. If your daughter needs you quickly to get over to FR, you'd better be able to put your hands on your passport. I hope your T-giving goes okay, regardless. As for your parents, just tell 'em. I would think they'd feel quite sorry about the whole thing for your sake.

Melle's_Sweetheart · 11-17-2005, 06:42 PM

Quote:

I disagree somewhat with the poster who said that a passport is a vital piece of ID in Europe. Two sides to that: my daughter lived with 3 Spanish girls when she lived in LeMans last year. None of them had a passport, which blew her mind. She found out that sinceEurope has open borders now, except for Switzerland, you can go where you want in Europe without displaying your passport.

This is true--since the European Union has ONE passport now and one single currency, it's possible to travel freely between the countries of the Union. I experienced this while traveling to England with my Husband. He was able to pass through customs without any questions, but because I have a Canadian passport, I had to endure questioning and a 45 minute wait in line.

The point I was making earlier in the thread is that a passport is used for MUCH MORE than just travel in Europe. It's used as a general piece of identification. Tonight my Husband heard on the news that only 20% of Americans have a passport. He was flabbergasted and asked what Americans use to identify themselves when they get a job or apply to government services.

I still find it odd that someone could misplace such an important piece of ID. We keep ours in a safe deposit box in the bank!

djalomo · 11-18-2005, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melle's_Sweetheart

I don't want to be a kill-joy, but I have an alternate opinion on this dilemma:

Have you considered that in Europe, passports are a vital part of your identification? My Husband is Dutch and he needed a passport to get a job, to travel (of course) AND he even needed to submit a copy of his passport when he cancelled his cell-phone subscription. Having said this, I'm rather curious why your BF would have "accidently" thrown his away. Is it possible (and again, I'm only speculating) that he doesn't WANT to meet your family and is LYING to you?

If I'm wrong, then at his very worst, he's a bit scatter-brained to have thrown it out. I know this isn't a relationship support board, but maybe you should take a good look at THAT for the long haul!

I'm an American and I have no idea where my social security card is right now

I lost my driver's liscense and am having a heck of a time getting a new one because my birth certificate is far, far away back home and I've turned my apt. upside down looking for my freakin' SS card and I can't believe it's just GONE.

Your SS is I guess the American equivalent of that -- you're supposed to guard it with your life and I have no IDEA where it is. I think I may, too, have thrown it out with other things over the year.

I'm generally a pretty well-organized person with big things...but I guess there have been a few big events over the past two years that have made me sort of scatter-brained (depression, meds, etc.) .

I'd hate to think though, that anyone who really loves me would let that be a deal-breaker for the "long haul."

Melle's_Sweetheart · 11-18-2005, 04:58 AM

Why not?

Anything can be a deal-breaker.....

djalomo · 11-18-2005, 05:30 AM

I guess I take that back -- I wouldn't be involved with anyone who would consider that a deal-breaker anyway.

Carry on.

gettingstrength · 11-25-2005, 06:24 PM

BABSY · 11-30-2005, 01:53 PM

Melle's sweatheart, I am totally agreeing with you. I am glad you said exactly what I wanted to say.
If the trip was so important to me, I would have put it in a safe place so that would have not have happened. In my opinion, a man who "spring cleans" would appear to be more organized than that. Something just dont make sense.
If I was your mother, I would be histerical if I bought his ticket and he lost it.

catkan · 11-30-2005, 02:27 PM

Did your boyfriend get there for Thanksgiving?

11-16-2005, 09:18 AM	#1
mas436 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: paris, france Posts: 429 Gallery: mas436 Stats: 135/ currently 120/ 5'7" WOE: low carb maintenance Start Date: june 2005 (2nd time)	i'm so sad and upset i just really need to vent, and could use some hugs, as i've been crying since 5 pm last night. my parents invited my paris-residing french boyfriend for thanksgiving (to take place in texas) in may. for several months i've planned for this week off with him and my family. it was to be my first time ever bringing a guy to my family's home in texas. the idea of this week was of such importance to me... it goes way beyond them paying for his direct paris-texas flight. it was a hugeeeeeeeeeeeee emotional deal for me. A BIG BIG DEAL. anyways, my boyfriend called me last night to tell me that after two days of frantically searching for his passport, he fears that it is definitely gone. he thinks he accidentally threw it out with other stuff when he was spring cleaning in may. although he could get an emergency passport, he would still need a visa from the american embassy to come (that's the rule post 9/11 with an emergency passport). his flight is scheduled for this saturday morning, and there is just no way he will be able to get the documents in time. my thanksgiving is ruined. i will be all alone in texas for a week. i never would have taken a week off if he hadn't planned to come. i'm just devastated. i have no idea what to tell my parents. no matter what i say, i feel like they're going to think he's an irresponsible person. i can't be ANGRY, per say, because it was an honest accident. he never meant to hurt me or embarrass me... he feels so horrible. he's going to turn his apartment upside-down again tonight, and if he can't find it, i will have to call my parents. he is going to reimburse them for the ticket, and wants to call them personally to apologize. is there anything anyone can say to make me feel better? __________________ i'm just a goofy american ex-pat in paris turning my nose up at croissants...

11-16-2005, 10:34 AM	#12
Melle's_Sweetheart Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 649 Gallery: Melle's_Sweetheart Stats: 330(319)/279/170 (21% bodyfat) WOE: Kamikaze Atkin's Start Date: Dec 1, 2003 (first time) May 28, 2007 (last time)	I don't want to be a kill-joy, but I have an alternate opinion on this dilemma: Have you considered that in Europe, passports are a vital part of your identification? My Husband is Dutch and he needed a passport to get a job, to travel (of course) AND he even needed to submit a copy of his passport when he cancelled his cell-phone subscription. Having said this, I'm rather curious why your BF would have "accidently" thrown his away. Is it possible (and again, I'm only speculating) that he doesn't WANT to meet your family and is LYING to you? If I'm wrong, then at his very worst, he's a bit scatter-brained to have thrown it out. I know this isn't a relationship support board, but maybe you should take a good look at THAT for the long haul! __________________ Member of November 2008 100 Pound Challenge!! Stick to the plan--you won't like the alternative! 35lbs LOST in 2007 Second goal: No diuretics by May 2008 109 lbs to go!

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11-16-2005, 09:22 AM	#2
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	well...that does suck. Tell your parents that the date is off...change it to a Christmas get together and he can use the ticket then....and they will get to see you twice..WHATEVER you do...don't let this ruin your Thanksgiving with your parents...that is like a slap in the face to their generocity IMO..... I hope he finds it tonight

11-16-2005, 09:23 AM	#3
Rogue MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 1,198 Gallery: Rogue Stats: 256/216/171	It must be hard for you to be going thru this now, especially thru the holidays. I cannot imagine the millions of thoughts running in your head right now. I do hope your boyfriend finds his passport!....If Not maybe you could reverse the flight and fly overthere for one week.... I hope you feel better and it works out.

11-16-2005, 09:26 AM	#4
mas436 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: paris, france Posts: 429 Gallery: mas436 Stats: 135/ currently 120/ 5'7" WOE: low carb maintenance Start Date: june 2005 (2nd time)	ya my bf proposed coming for christmas... we'll see if my parents are up for that. i KNOW for sure that if i mope around the house for a week, my mother will be extremely upset with me, so i need find some kind of positive side to this. i had so much emotionally invested in this trip. my mother is usually NOT-SO-NICE to me, but with my bf there, she would have been on good behavior. now i risk the usual routine of her picking on me and getting me down. i never would have gone for a whole week alone.

11-16-2005, 09:33 AM	#6
lowcarbette Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Home of the Hawkeyes Posts: 4,321 Gallery: lowcarbette Stats: (Pregnant 200#) 162/115 WOE: Atkins

11-16-2005, 10:01 AM	#8
Tammy2002 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 3,375 Gallery: Tammy2002 Stats: 173/149/135 WOE: Atkins	can you go to Paris instead? just a thought... wouldn't that be nice?

11-16-2005, 10:08 AM	#9
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	Awww, that is a rotten shame about the passport! I hope and pray he finds it tonight. My daughter had a French boyfriend and there was a lot of traveling back and forth for a while, so I can relate... And the rules are so much stricter now too for the international travel. I will say a prayer....

11-16-2005, 10:15 AM	#11
i2849 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 476 Gallery: i2849 WOE: Atkins Start Date: July 2005	At least you get to see your parents for a week. I haven't seen mine in 2 years. They live on the east coast. I hope you get to see BF soon though. Tell him that next time all important documents should be in a safe place.

11-16-2005, 11:00 AM	#13
sandooch140 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: So. CA Posts: 6,739 Gallery: sandooch140 Stats: 213/138-143 5'5", 44 years young, size 20/6 WOE: Whatever tickles my pickle! ;) Start Date: January 2003	Mas--(((HUG))) You have gotten some great advice here. If your relationship with your parents is strained right now, then going to Paris to be with your boyfriend for Thanksgiving sounds like a great idea. If that is not feasible and he comes out for Christmas instead, why not invite a good friend to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with you and your family? Your parents will certainly be on their best behavior then, right? In any case, I'm sure your parents will understand. Accidents happen all the time. I'll be thinking of you!

11-16-2005, 11:05 AM	#14
aim in Flaworking Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 8,900 Gallery: aim in Flaworking	mas436...sounds like your parents (MOM) is just like my mom...she spends 500 on clothes for me at the mall and then when everyone says..." wow you are so lucky to have a mom like that" she looks at me adoringly...then for weeks...I hear " I did go spend 500 dollars on your clothes" Man, it is rough...but some people don't get it.. I kow you have to handle this situation with care..... Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

11-16-2005, 11:13 AM	#15
mas436 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: paris, france Posts: 429 Gallery: mas436 Stats: 135/ currently 120/ 5'7" WOE: low carb maintenance Start Date: june 2005 (2nd time)	he has already met and spent time with my family. there is just no way possible he did this on purpose, i'm 200% sure of that. he loves my family, my family loves him. it's really not feasible for me to go to paris... i already have a ticket home to texas, and a last minute ticket to paris from new york can be around $1000-$2000. if i was rich, maybe i could swing that! sandooch, i'm definitely going to try to find some high school friends to hang out with. that's not my top choice, but i'll make do. thank you guys for you love and support... reality is setting in, and i'm just going to try and make the best of it.

11-16-2005, 12:35 PM	#17
mas436 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: paris, france Posts: 429 Gallery: mas436 Stats: 135/ currently 120/ 5'7" WOE: low carb maintenance Start Date: june 2005 (2nd time)	haha... thanks sandy. any advice on how to break it to my parents? i'm so worried about their response.

11-16-2005, 03:56 PM	#18
SJN02 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 2,514 Gallery: SJN02 Stats: 220/216/145 WOE: Low Calorie Start Date: Jan. 1, 09 (after a million starts)	Just tell them the truth. They can't get mad at you for telling the truth.

11-16-2005, 06:31 PM	#19
Purrgirl Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 5,301 Gallery: Purrgirl Stats: 146/128 5'6	I would definitely be honest with your parents. If not they could come to other conclusions.... I'm sorry.

11-17-2005, 03:38 PM	#20
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	I disagree somewhat with the poster who said that a passport is a vital piece of ID in Europe. Two sides to that: my daughter lived with 3 Spanish girls when she lived in LeMans last year. None of them had a passport, which blew her mind. She found out that sinceEurope has open borders now, except for Switzerland, you can go where you want in Europe without displaying your passport. She had wanted to go to Italy via Switzerland last Feb. on holiday with them, and they all told her they couldn't go to Switz 'cause no passport. But, on the other hand, just to be on the safe side, and to be ready for a trip to Africa or the US, your bf should keep better tabs on his passport. But we all make mistakes. Right now, I know where my passport is. When I got it, I made a point of telling myself, don't screw up and misplace this. If your daughter needs you quickly to get over to FR, you'd better be able to put your hands on your passport. I hope your T-giving goes okay, regardless. As for your parents, just tell 'em. I would think they'd feel quite sorry about the whole thing for your sake.

11-18-2005, 04:58 AM	#23
Melle's_Sweetheart Senior LCF Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 649 Gallery: Melle's_Sweetheart Stats: 330(319)/279/170 (21% bodyfat) WOE: Kamikaze Atkin's Start Date: Dec 1, 2003 (first time) May 28, 2007 (last time)	Why not? Anything can be a deal-breaker.....

11-18-2005, 05:30 AM	#24
djalomo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 13,769 Gallery: djalomo Stats: 132/ getting there! /110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2004	I guess I take that back -- I wouldn't be involved with anyone who would consider that a deal-breaker anyway. Carry on.

11-25-2005, 06:24 PM	#25
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

11-30-2005, 01:53 PM	#26
BABSY Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: MCKINNEY,TX Posts: 3,534 Gallery: BABSY	Melle's sweatheart, I am totally agreeing with you. I am glad you said exactly what I wanted to say. If the trip was so important to me, I would have put it in a safe place so that would have not have happened. In my opinion, a man who "spring cleans" would appear to be more organized than that. Something just dont make sense. If I was your mother, I would be histerical if I bought his ticket and he lost it.

11-30-2005, 02:27 PM	#27
catkan Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 804 Gallery: catkan WOE: mod carbs	Did your boyfriend get there for Thanksgiving?