My DS is so conflicted-(Long)

[CurveControl]

The last 3 days DS (13) Has been having panic attacks and "bad thoughts" (his words) about what happens when we die. He is afraid there is "nothing". He said last night-" when I was little I knew God was waching out for me, and I would go to heaven, but now I am afraid, what if it is all made up?"
I wanted to cry, but he was already crying and I didn'rt want to upset him more. Like I said, it has been every night for 3 nights. he crys and gets nauseaus, and shakey. it takes a long time to calm him down.
Finally last night I told him that perhaps he has reached the age of accountability and Satan was trying to turn him from the Lord at this crucial time in his life. I told him to Pray to God to save him and push the devil out of his mind.
I don't know what else to do- I hope I didn't make it worse. We prayed together and he calmed down a bit, but I am really upset by it.
Maybe part of it is related to all the deaths from Katrina, but It is not like him to doubt his faith!
Any suggestions would be welcome!!!

[Queen Mab]

Get him in to counseling. It sounds like he's having anxiety issues most likely due to the aftermath of katrina.

[Queen Mab]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

Finally last night I told him that perhaps he has reached the age of accountability and Satan was trying to turn him from the Lord at this crucial time in his life. I told him to Pray to God to save him and push the devil out of his mind.

I'm going to be totally honest with you, so I hope you're not offended, but bringing up satan to someone who's suffering severe anxiety issues, may not be the best way to go.

[BigRed]

Originally Posted by Queen Mab

I'm going to be totally honest with you, so I hope you're not offended, but bringing up satan to someone who's suffering severe anxiety issues, may not be the best way to go.

I agree with this as well as getting some counseling.

[CurveControl]

he has actually said he feels better since we prayed.
he wants to talk to our pastor, but refuses a counselor. I have pretty much banned any Katrina coverage in the house, other than deciding what and where to donate to help so I hope that helps too.
The stress and anxiety I understand, It is the sudden loss of faith that has me worried. Maybe it is an age thing.

[shanes_grrl]

I am not sure what it is called but the is a name for fear depression and anxiety after a major disaster such as 9/11 or KAT.
But I trust taht your pastor is qualified to council and pray with yor son, and if this is just a phase it will be fine.
Hang in there mom. Hold tight to you faith and show him Jesus. He will be okay.
I am praying for yall.

[CurveControl]

Thanks. I appreciate it. he seems much better today!

[BonBon19]

CurveControl and your dear son. These times are troubling, and being thirteen just complicates things even more. I think you are doing right by steering him back towards his pastor, and being right there talking to him about it. You just need to make him feel that even though tragedies happen, that we all keep on doing what we know is right. Make sure he is feeling good about himself and his personal life (as much as possible) and hopefully he will be able to deal with the stress of a troubled world. When they are also having stress in their personal lives, is when I get truly scared. I know you are a loving, caring Mom, and that you are there for him. Right now, that is the single best thing to do, in my opinion. THen he always knows he can feel safe and loved when he is with you. You become his safe haven. Eventually, when he starts hearing about all the help pouring into that area, and the families who are reunited, and starting afresh, maybe he will be able to focus on some positive aspects, and not dwell on the sadness! Hope he and you feel better soon!

[Jill1109]

Originally Posted by CurveControl

he has actually said he feels better since we prayed.
he wants to talk to our pastor, but refuses a counselor. I have pretty much banned any Katrina coverage in the house, other than deciding what and where to donate to help so I hope that helps too.
The stress and anxiety I understand, It is the sudden loss of faith that has me worried. Maybe it is an age thing.

Maybe you could tell him that at some point, some people will and do question their faith.........and that it's ok. Like I tell my daughters, there is so much more evidence of the existance of God than not....and to remember, God doesn't set out to PROVE himself.....that's where FAITH comes into play....it all about Faith.

There is a book called "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel......My SIL just gave it to me so I have not read it yet but he might get some comfort from reading something like that.

Jill

[wannabeslim4life]

to your DS I have went through the same thing since I was about 14 when a DF,my grandmother and my two grandfathers all died in the same yr, it made me question everything I had ever been told growing up and in church and it is a Very SCARY time and dealing with deaths even not related can really screw a persons mind up I still struggle with it everyday and it is VERY hard! b/c You feel alone and like you are the only one with all of these confused thoughts about existence and the afterlife I remember b/c of how "outside" I felt from the confusion and not knowing what to believe in or where to turn for guidance I developed social anxiety disorder and even felt that the therapists were judging me... I feel that b/c I was introduced to church and God so young, that I was condition to believe what I was told all the time and then as I grew up I had to ask myself if I really (in my heart) believed in God or if it was just b/c I was told to (if that makes sense?) For that reason I chose not to take my DD or DS to church or even speak about religion until they are old enough to ask and not be so impressionable that they cant decide for themselves whether or not they want to believe in God and heaven and Hell b/c it hit me hard one day and all I was left with was not knowing what or who to believe...it is very very very scary and lonely.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by wannabeslim4life

to your DS I have went through the same thing since I was about 14 when a DF,my grandmother and my two grandfathers all died in the same yr, it made me question everything I had ever been told growing up and in church and it is a Very SCARY time and dealing with deaths even not related can really screw a persons mind up I still struggle with it everyday and it is VERY hard! b/c You feel alone and like you are the only one with all of these confused thoughts about existence and the afterlife I remember b/c of how "outside" I felt from the confusion and not knowing what to believe in or where to turn for guidance I developed social anxiety disorder and even felt that the therapists were judging me... I feel that b/c I was introduced to church and God so young, that I was condition to believe what I was told all the time and then as I grew up I had to ask myself if I really (in my heart) believed in God or if it was just b/c I was told to (if that makes sense?) For that reason I chose not to take my DD or DS to church or even speak about religion until they are old enough to ask and not be so impressionable that they cant decide for themselves whether or not they want to believe in God and heaven and Hell b/c it hit me hard one day and all I was left with was not knowing what or who to believe...it is very very very scary and lonely.

Thank you Wannabe- We have been open w/ the kids, and we discuss Jeasus and God in everyday conversation, but not in a preachy way, but to answer questions. We have belonged to 2 denominations, and feel most comfortable following the Bible rather than any particular Doctrine. I encourage the kids to explore and question- It is how we grow. My oldest has Decided to be Agnostic, and at this point (at 21) I think that is a normal questioning thing. We make the information available, but dont punish free thought. Of course I hope she returns to God and Christ, but that will be between her and God now.

Mab- I don't know how anyone can have a discussion about failth , heaven and God without also pointing out the great Liar, and how he tries to turn us from the One when we are vulnerable. The way we discussed it was Jesus' trial w/ Satan, and how we are all tested and question our failth.
Satan is scary, But God is more powerful, and that is why we ask for God to give us strentgh and protection against satin, Not in a scary way, but in a way that showes he is not alone and powerless, but empowered with and by God.

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. he seems to be doing very well, and no more nightmares or panics.
M

[RobinB]

Originally Posted by Jill1109

There is a book called "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel......My SIL just gave it to me so I have not read it yet but he might get some comfort from reading something like that.

Jill

That's an excellent book --not difficult reading and it makes sense.

[CurveControl]

Thanks Jill and Robin- I will look for it at the Library this week.

[Jill1109]

Originally Posted by RobinB

That's an excellent book --not difficult reading and it makes sense.

I'm glad to hear that....it's sitting on my desk and I have just sorta scanned through it but I think I will actually start reading it tonight. Thanks

Jill