SOOOOO frustrated! GRRRR

[LCinHouston]

I'm so angry and frustrated right now - had a "not yelling" blow-up with DH at lunch (we don't yell, we talk quietly and emphatically).

I can RARELY get away for lunch, but it is our friend's birthday.

well, I showed up when they said they'd be there (after driving across town) and he called 3 minutes later saying they were just leaving his office and were going to pick up our friend too.

I went ahead and ordered because time for me being away from the office was running out.

they showed up as I was finishing and DH gave the friend his gift. my gift was still in my car - I had made something very personal and was going to get it out and give it to him when I left.

well, DH got a phone call and since he only uses a speaker phone went outside to talk. well, he came back in with my present to our friend!!!!

he'd already asked me about it TWICE before the phone call and I had told him both times I'll get it before I go.

well, I was pretty upset, and decided it was time to go and got up to leave. DH followed me around, said I was STALKING AWAY ??? and that our friend was going to be upset by me leaving.

I told him that everyone KNEW I had to leave, THEY were late and I had to go. as I closed the door he started muttering under his breath. you know, I can take most anything, but don't talk at or about me under your breath...that's disrespectful! so I rolled down my window and said "excuse me?!?!"

he said "I'm sorry I just can't do ANYTHING right" (note the sarcasm here). I said "it actually seems that I can't do anything right, but that you have the need to do it for me."

which started up the whole conversation again. then he started in with how EVERYTHING (more sarcasm) he's done lately has made me upset, so WHY should he be surprised I'm upset now.....etc. etc.

I really don't know what I'm more frustrated with:

1. my attitude over wanting to be the one to give our friend the gift I had made - should it be such a big deal?

2. DH being so condescending and sarcastic

3. the muttering under the breath?

4. the fact that they were SO LATE meeting that I couldn't even enjoy the rare time I get to leave the office for lunch? and HE was the one who set the time! really, I wouldn't have chosen to eat there if I'd known I was eating out alone!

5. DH saying something about ALL WEEK, but I can't remember a single time when I haven't been happy with him/us, or been upset?!?! where did this come from?

I cried all the way back to the office, I keep having to shut my door and cry a little more (I really don't have time for this). what a lousy ending to what should have been a great day.

[Cindy P]

Print this out and show it to him. Some men just dont understand a womans feelings sometimes. Let him know his actions and words hurt you. I hope you feel better.

[SuZi]

Personally, I would have been ecstatic that my husband was thoughtful enough to bring in the gift from the car for me (I assume it was in a bag or wrapped).....but, I think it all started with them being late and that is something I just HATE, no matter if it is for meeting for lunch, bible study start times, etc etc.....then it snowballed from there in my opinion....like Cindy said, you could print it out and show it to him, but in my own situation, that would be very hurtful to my hubby, knowing that I had been sending this all over the internet to thousands of people.......but praise God for grace and forgiveness, eh??......(((((((hugs)))))))

[SJN02]

I was thinking too that was thoughtful of him to bring it in for you. He was probably just being helpful. He prob. didn't realize that would make you upset. My DH is starting to do things to help me out and I love it. So try and look at it as your DH just helping you out. He knew you had to go outside to get the gift, he was outside so he brought it in for you. As for being late, I don't like that either, but we are required by God's Word to show respect to our husbands...( I know that is hard to do all the time) I have been reading a book called Love and Respect...Great book I hope you are over being upset with your DH. Give him a hug and tell him you appreciate him.

[LCinHouston]

thank you all for your sincere responses.

Update:

when we sat down for dinner that night, he said "something I did or said at lunch obviously made you mad...what was it?" so I told him that I wasn't mad, but that I was frustrated because:

1) he brought the gift in because I wouldn't do it or do it "right", even though I'd said I would bring it in
2) they arrived so late that I had finished eating and couldn't enjoy their company or my rare time away from the office
3) he muttered under his breath - and showed an immense amount of disrespect in doing so

he apologized for making me frustrated, and said that he had been trying to round up the guys for a good 30 minutes and he couldn't them to get up and go.

and that was that.

for those who wonder, we have a great relationship, (just celebrated 11 years of marriage) - so that's why it was so frustrating to have this "event". he said he was upset all afternoon, and that he was hot (it was over 100°) and knew they were really late and it was all-around just bad timing.

thanks again -