Soul Mate - Christian Perspective - Please No Flaming

[brilliant100]

This is very long but interesting. Just curious how other single Christians feel about this or anyone that has something positive to say.

Please do not flame. If this angers or offends you, it was not intended to do so. If you do not believe in the Bible or God, that is fine but please do not use this thread to attack Christian beliefs.

Thanks.
-------------------------


YOUR SOUL MATE:

Turn in your Bible to Psalm 65:4 (the New King James Bible). It says, "Blessed is the man you choose and causes to approach you. That he may dwell in your courts and shall be satisfied with

the goodness of your house... "

Pastor T.D. Jakes made a statement once that was morbid but SO true! He said that when choosing a mate, you need to ask yourself whether or not that person is the one you would want to hold your hand as you are lowering your parents' bodies into the grave for the last time. That

is serious. Meditate on that for a few seconds. Your entire perspective in terms of what you are searching for in a mate should be based on that one question.

Are you dating? Think about your boy/girlfriend. Is he(she) seriously the one you would want holding your hands during the darkest hours of your life? Look even deeper. Is your present boy/girlfriend the type who would offer you assistance during the time of grief? Believe it or not,

there are numerous men(women) out here who offer absolutely NO comfort to hurting women(men). And no, it does not matter whether they are married to those women(men) or not! I wish you could see some of the personal letters this site receives ! from married people. Yes, some of them are happy, praise God! However, the ones who are not happy are absolutely miserable. There are no in-between. Either you are happy in a marriage or you are not. There are married women(men) writing saying their husbands(wives) never show authentic affection towards them, never offer expressions of love for them.

That is real. Because it is so real, God desires that women(men) are exceptionally careful when choosing a mate. Notice I did not say that women(men) should FIND a mate! I said "choose".

There is a huge difference. Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 18:22. It says that He who finds a wife finds a good thing... Interpretation: MEN find women. Women should not be out trying to find a man! HOWEVER, once found, the woman can then choose to be with the man or to wait to be

found by a different man.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR WHEN CHOOSING A MATE: Proverbs 20:6 states, Who can find a faithful man? The fact that the question is asked is indicative of the fact that there are not many faithful men out there. However, there is good news. The good news is that JESUS knows where

the faithful men are! Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary offers several excellent definitions of the word faithful: FAITHFUL: (a) Steadfast in affection or allegiance (b) Loyal (c) Firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty (d) Conscientious. The scriptures say that a faithful man is difficult to find. God is saying that it is hard to find a man(woman) with the

qualities in letters a, b, c, and d. However, wouldn't you love to have a man (woman) with the qualities listed above? They are rare. But GOD knows where such men(women) are located.

Turn in your Bible to Ephesians 5:23. Scripture states, For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. STOP! Now go back and re-read that passage. God is offering us a blueprint on what to look for in a mate.

Let's pick that scripture apart. 1. The husband is head of the wife. That means that you need to choose a man who is born-again. He also needs to be a man under whose authority you will feel comfortable submitting. It is dangerous to submit to the authority of a man who is not saved or who does not have a relationship with God. 2. The husband must love his wife as Christ loves the Church. That is a tough one! Look at the degree to which God loves His Church! He died for the Church (the entire body of Christ). How does God love us? He is kind, patient and nurturing to the Church.

Those are the qualities you need to search for when determining who to marry. 3. The husband must sanctify, cleanse and wash his wife with the Word of God. Again, only a born-again man can wash you with the Word of God (scriptures). Think about the dating ritual. Boy meets girl, they date, start to care deeply, and the subject of sex pops up. Question: HOW will the man handle it? God says that it is the responsibility of the man to see to it that he presents a woman clean and holy. If he is fornicating with her, how can he present her as clean and holy? Sex outside the marriage bond is dirty. Therefore, if you find yourself with a man trying to fornicate with you, you have the wrong man. God says that He presents the Church His Bride!) without spot, wrinkle or blemish. Your future husband must present you at the altar without spot, wrinkle or blemish. Furthermore, even if you become weak and want to fornicate, he must be able to WASH you with God's Word. He is responsible for you! This is important. Please listen so that you don't

end up miserable.

BECOMING ONE:In Ephesians 5:31 the scripture states that, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church...God hates divorce. However, He> also hates abuse. God does not want you physically or mentally abused. He certainly does not want you disrespected by a man(woman) committing adultery against you. Too many women (men) in this country, in their quest for a mate are settling with people who are not worthy of them. The reason so many people are in unhappy marriages is because they latched onto the wrong person to please society, family or friends. Now they are stuck with a mean or unaffectionate or abusive mate. It is not too late for you. If you pick the right mate from the beginning, you won't end up hurt and miserable (divorced). Listen carefully, GOD says that when

you marry, you become ONE with that person. God no longer sees you as separate, but He sees you and your mate as ONE person. We cannot fully comprehend it because God says it's a great mystery! Think about your boy/girlfriend. Do You see yourself becoming ONE with them? If you have problems after marriage, it's because something was broken before marriage (that was obviously ignored).

If you do not have a boy/girlfriend yet, GREAT! Now you know what to look for! Too many people are getting married multiple times. God is not pleased with that. He sees it as adultery. It is His will that we marry once, create a family with that one person, and be happy....ecstatic in that marriage. The scriptures also states, the man shall leave his parents. Check out the family of the man that you are considering marrying! Are they always leaning on him, trying to borrow his money? Are you in agreement with them always calling him to the house to take care of their personal problems? Guess what? It won't end after marriage. If he is giving them money now, he will continue after marriage. If his family is leaching off of him now, they will after marriage. The question is, can you handle it? If not, now is the time to discuss the problem. Don't wait. There are too many men who refuse to leave their father and mother. There are too many women who refuse to leave their parents. Extended families are famous for breaking up marriages. NOW is the time to get the problems straight.

Finally, how attracted are you to your future spouse? Please do not marry if there is a shadow of a doubt that you are totally attracted to them physically. Too many women lose their husbands because after marriage they stop having sex. The reason many women stop having sex is because their husbands are cold, rude and abusive. If you are married to a man who has the qualifications of the "faithful man" listed above in this article, you will be attracted to him forever, emotionally and physically! Women who don't want sex with their husbands are women who married the wrong man. PLEASE ladies; don't marry the wrong man. Wait. In Solomon 3:4, it is said, I found him whom my soul loves. The reason she found the one whom her soul loves is because she was PATIENT! Luke 21:19 says, in your patience possess yea your soul. The interpretation of that for a single person is that if you are Patient, you will meet the one whom your soul loves.

[yvonne326]

This is my take. I married my soul mate but he and I are not "perfect". We can fight like cats and dogs yet make love like two bunnies. I don't believe that you necessarily find your "soul mate" ... some of us never do. The ones that do are lucky... Unfortunately, sometimes in the course of a life people do change. The man who was sweet and adoring becomes an old miserable man. Sometimes the factors that cause these are out of their spouses control...

So how do you know who is your soul mate? There are many factors... Yes, physical attraction is a big part but for myself and my husband, its that connection...we don't have to even speak to each other and know what each other are thinking....its that thing that cannot be explained and the love is much deeper than a "need" or "sexual" ... it is like without him...I am not complete...and visa versa.

That is why I know that he and I will always be together even if we don't remain "a couple".... I truly believe that souls do travel together once they part their human bodies and re-live again and again until its time to share eternal paradise.

By the way, he and I have been together for 26 yrs this September... Married for 19 of those 26 yrs and deeper in love now than ever.

[Grif]

I was raised a strict Catholic. Some of the passages you posted are some of the major reason I no longer call myself a Catholic.

You asked for the opinions of Christians... sorry if mine is negative.. but I find most of those passages stomach turning. And the interpretation of them by the pastor quoted not much better.

No offence intended.. just my personal opinion.

[yvonne326]

Oh and I also agree with Grif... I don't like the passages at all and don't agree with them either.

[lovemykids]

Originally Posted by Grif

I was raised a strict Catholic. Some of the passages you posted are some of the major reason I no longer call myself a Catholic.

You asked for the opinions of Christians... sorry if mine is negative.. but I find most of those passages stomach turning. And the interpretation of them by the pastor quoted not much better.

No offence intended.. just my personal opinion.

I could have written this word for word.

I hope that your religion helps you in your life, but mine is greatly improved without it.

[AriAnne]

I am a believer, but not in organized religion; if I met a man who spouted
scriptures, I'd run the other direction.

When I was a teenager in high school and I met my now Dh, I was too
young and immature to know any thing about calculating my plan of
action to get a man, it just happened. I consider him my soul mate
and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

I agree with yvonne326, yeah, it's kind of like that!

[Skinnymocah]

First of all this board is decidedly liberal and religious topics don't go over well at all. Fair warning that perhaps the Emotional Well Being and Faith Based Support board would be a better forum for this topic.

Secondly, there is an EXCELLENT book that I have been reading called 'The One'. I wish I had brought it today. I don't agree with every word but it does balance spirituality with common sense.

Basically it talks about not overspiritualizing your search for the One. There are more levels than the spiritual that a person needs to focus on. I think the points made above are a good starting point, but one must go further than that.

[Osorris]

this are indeed some of the reasons I am also not a chrstian. If I had waited around for my hubby then both of us would have been very miserable indeed bcuase he didnt have the strength or courage at that point in his life to come after what he wanted. We compliment each other perfectly when he is weak I am strong and when I am weak he is strong.

why would I want to live by the advice of people who had no idea what our lives would be like today, often treated thier wives like chattel and gave women very little personal power (oh you can choose to take whats handed to you or sit around in misery waiting for the bigger better package instead of looking for something that will make you happy) No that does not speak to my spirituality.) I just believe the bible is a wonderful book of mythology that has many good lessons to lean but many bad manmade rules as well. I dont begrudge anyone else Christianity just dont get offended that I dont believe much of it has to do with truth- that isnt an attack it is how I feel about your topic. this is not a christian board so if you wanted christian only responses honstly your in the wrong place.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by brilliant100

Let's pick that scripture apart. 1. The husband is head of the wife.... He also needs to be a man under whose authority you will feel comfortable submitting.

This part was meant as a joke, right?

[Skinnymocah]

For Christians who believe in biblical submission, no it is NOT.

However the Bible ALSO says to submit yourselves ONE TO ANOTHER. Husband is not LORD or KING. However, we do believe the man to be the spiritual head of the household.

In a more worldly sense, it means don't marry a man whose judgement you do not trust, and a man whom you cannot respect.

[catkin]

How much do you tip the wife?

[CarolinaRocker]

Whatever floats your boat it has some good points though.

This never occurred to me though:

"Pastor T.D. Jakes made a statement once that was morbid but SO true! He said that when choosing a mate, you need to ask yourself whether or not that person is the one you would want to hold your hand as you are lowering your parents' bodies into the grave for the last time. That

is serious. Meditate on that for a few seconds. Your entire perspective in terms of what you are searching for in a mate should be based on that one question."

[Weedydidi]

I think it's important to remember that the Bible was written in a time when men dominated EVERYTHING so looking to it in order to determine one's role as a man or woman is a mistake.

Having said that, I think that looking down the road at the really hard times is a very good idea when choosing a spouse. That's why being together for awhile BEFORE taking marriage vows helps - you tend to go through a crisis or two together and can see how you weather that.

[Aerogirl]

Originally Posted by brilliant100

The scriptures also states, the man shall leave his parents. Check out the family of the man that you are considering marrying! Are they always leaning on him, trying to borrow his money? Are you in agreement with them always calling him to the house to take care of their personal problems? Guess what? It won't end after marriage. If he is giving them money now, he will continue after marriage. If his family is leaching off of him now, they will after marriage. The question is, can you handle it? If not, now is the time to discuss the problem.

As a Christian, I agree with the scriptures, but have a problem with some of your opinions. I have to disagree with you on above paragraph.
One of the Ten Commandments is to HONOR our Father and Mother. We would be very cold hearted if we didn't help our families if they needed help. The Bible also says that we are to give if asked without expecting a payback. then how can we help others and not help our families? I wouldn't want to be married to a man who turned his back on his family if they needed help and I as a daughter in law would want to help my husbands family even if my husband died, I would be there to help them out if they needed it and I had it to give. the way I see it, I would rather store up my treasures in heaven than to have an over abundance on earth. like Jesus told one of His deciples, feed my sheep. we should really strive to help the poor. after accepting the Lord as our Savior, He wants us to help. its not about us, us, us, its about helping mankind and spreading the Word. just my opinion.

[Skinnymocah]

I don't think they are her opinions. It's a repost of an article, I believe.

[brilliant100]

The Soul Mate text was not created by me. I received it from a friend via email.

[shanes_grrl]

Originally Posted by Skinnymocah

First of all this board is decidedly liberal and religious topics don't go over well at all. Fair warning that perhaps the Emotional Well Being and Faith Based Support board would be a better forum for this topic.

Ummmm, this is the Emotional well being and FAITH BASED SUPPORT forum, so ummmmmm this is the appropriate place for such a topic.

[shanes_grrl]

I am not sayng I agree with the text in this thread, because i feel there was alot of twisting around of words, but I dont understand the lashing of someone speaking in what I am under the impression is a religous or "faith" based Forum

I realize now what kind of forum this is. No intention to debate my or anyone else's religion.

[Bubbles]

I am not a 'born again Christian' but do believe in God.

The advice given in the OP is plain common sense even for someone who does not believe in God. Far too many people allow chemistry to determine their partners. We move way too quickly these days. How many people did we allow into our hearts while looking past their faults? How many of our relationships were built on trying to get the man to 'fit' in? How much we are sometimes willing to compromise in order to have someone in our bed at night?
A good working marriage may be a system of compromises but the basics: love, kindness and respect are never compromised.

[sashagirl]

I completely agree with the article that brilliant100 posted. I know that I might be thought of as old-fashioned or a religous nut, but I am a Christian and believe that what God told us in the Bible is what he meant, period.
Thanks for posting this brilliant100. I enjoyed reading it.

[mamaofthreeboys]

I enjoyed reading it. I agree with most but wish I would have read it before marrying my husband 4 years ago. Maybe I would have taken a better look at what I was getting myself into and where my life was at the time.

[nitenurse]

This is a "for what it's worth" post, looking at this from an older, long time married woman's point of view. My wedding anniversary, Nov.30 will be #42-47 since I met him. We were both Catholic, which we thought gave us one less thing to fight about .lol.
This is what I tell my sons, the home is the woman's, she is the heart of it. My husband always pretty much let me have/do what I wanted with the kids and the house, because he usually agreed with it, after talking it over. HOWEVER, if he saw something not good or unworkable about my little plans, he told me and I agreed and that was the end of that, because he did have unique judgement (common sense) that I sometimes couldn't see. That is what I believe is 'submitting",( hate that word, it turns so many people off). and it's not demeaning, it's respectful of your mate. We were not matched very well in temperment, but the committment was forever. and it got us through hell and high water, literally.
He is my best friend, I miss him terribly, he died this summer, after many long, painful illnesses, I'd just say, don't sweat the small stuff, something big seldom happens.
A lot of our differences with our religious faith is misinterpreting the common language we each have, please, let's focus on the things we believe in common.

[Skinnymocah]

Originally Posted by shanes_grrl

Ummmm, this is the Emotional well being and FAITH BASED SUPPORT forum, so ummmmmm this is the appropriate place for such a topic.

Uhmmmmm yourself. This post did not start in this forum, it was moved from the Playground.

[BigRed]

1 Corinthians 7
...
7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
...
Paul recommends that all men and woman would abstain from sex. But those who can't control themselves should get married, for "it is better to marry than to burn."
from: NKJV and http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/1cor/7.html#27

[Jennyl]

doesn't the bible say that is you are single, do not seek to be married. and if you are married, do not seek to be single. I always wondered about this because I have seen a lot of christian people looking for relationships.