Wife CLUB...

[godsbeloved79]

I wanted to start a thread for Wives and soon 2 be brides.. I've been married for 3 years and many still say; "you are still on your honeymoon". I love to listen to positive women that are married or have been. I have gained alot of knowledge from these people. I have also learned that MARRIAGE is a task, just like anything else in life. There are good times and bad times, but most of all there is a commitment to one another.. Please share your feelings here, ask questions and shed a little light as you see fit!

[godsbeloved79]

July 5

Encouragement for Today

(Principle #2)

“Serving in a “Me First” Society”

Sharon Jaynes, Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries Radio, Proverbs 31 Speaker Team Member



Key Verse:

Romans 12:9-10, “Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.” (NLT)



Devotion:


Have you ever had one of those days when you said, “I’ve had enough. It’s time for him to take care of me. I wash the clothes, pick up the clothes, cook the meals, buy the groceries, vacuum the floors, dust the furniture, scrub the bathrooms, and pay the bills. I’m not doing another thing to ‘serve’ this man. I am not a servant, by George!”? For years I have heard the phrase that marriage is a 50/50 proposition. But the question is, who gets to decide when one spouse has hit the halfway mark? Author and marriage expert Dennis Rainey notes, “It’s impossible to determine if your spouse has met you halfway because neither of you can agree on where ‘halfway’ is. Each is left to scrutinize the other’s performance from his or her own jaded perspective.”



If you want to try a contest in your home, how about seeing who can out-serve the other?! Jesus calls each of us to serve one another. It seems we are much more agreeable to serving our friends than serving our husbands. And yet, when we serve them, we are in effect serving Christ Himself. “When you do it unto the least of these, you do it unto me,” Jesus said.



In Jesus’ last days with His disciples before the crucifixion, I would imagine that his mind was racing with last lessons to teach His followers before He was gone. On their final night together, as they were eating the Passover meal, He got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash their feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him (John 13:4-5). After He finished, He put on his clothes and returned to His seat asking them, “Do you understand what I have done for you? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:12-15, NIV)



Can you imagine the disciples’ awe as their Lord and Master took on the role of a servant and stooped to wash the mud and dust from their filthy feet? When He did this, it wasn’t a simple act of kindness. He was actually fulfilling a need that the others had refused to meet. It was customary in those days for the host of a dinner party to have a servant wash the guests’ feet. Men and women wore leather sandals as they walked the dusty, sometimes muddy, roads of the Holy Land. Nothing felt better than to sink calloused, throbbing feet into a cool basin of water and rinse away the cares of the day. However, on the occasion of the last supper, there was no servant available to wash the guest’s feet and no one volunteered.



So, God-Made-Man wrapped a towel around His waist and did what no one else was willing to do. Afterward, He sat down and said, “Now you do this too.”



My Prayer for Today:



Father, would you run a check on my attitude toward serving my husband today? Help me to take delight in serving him even when I feel like I am doing all the work. Grow my love for him as I press on to meet the needs that You have created me to meet in his life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.



Application Steps:



Think of one thing you can do this week to serve your husband. Perhaps it’s giving him a back rub that is long over due. Or maybe it’s simply helping him with a project, or ironing his work-shirts without grumbling – whatever you need to do to let your husband know that you desire to be the “helper” God made you to be so that your attitude reflects that of Christ.

[brilliant100]

This is a wonderful thread. I am not married 'yet' but love to read positive things about the subject.

[RobinB]

I have been married 14 years (15 in October) to a wonderful man who treats me very well. We work together (and have done so for the past 20 years) but we usually get along very well. We think alike.

He also likes to shop and to buy me clothes.

I think the key is genuinely liking each other--and making some sacrifices to do things the other person wants to. Make your spouse feel loved and they will respond in kind.

We also pray together every night before dinner.

[godsbeloved79]

Robin & brilliant100 thank you for stopping in! I know this thread may not be liked as much as others, because there are alot of women out there that have been through some ROUGH times during marriage.. No matter what your story is, it can truly be a blessing to someone else..

[dmvgirl]

I have the best DH, but I sometimes feel bad crowing about him when so many people are so unhappy in thier marriages. I don't want people to think I'm bragging, but sometimes I do think we need to show others that a happy marriage is not an oxymoron (sp?) DH has stayed by my side when I was going through some tough mental health issues a few years ago, I know it was hell for him but he felt he had to and I am so grateful he did. We have things we don't see eye to eye on, but we found out that for the most part, we can work anything out as long as we talk about it. Now we just have fun being together. We just got back from a week of vacation by ourselves for the first time in years. (DS was staying with grammy) We had sooo much fun, just being with each other. He is truly my soulmate and vice versa.

[sinderstorm]

I also am blessed with an amazing DH- we've been married 2 years, together for 7, and he is my best friend. Like others, we've been through some very rough times (DH had cancer) before we were even married. The keys to our marriage is that we remain vigilent of always treating each other as we'd treat our best friend (even when arguing), and that we are always able to be honest with each other.

We had a fabulous weekend 2 weeks ago and did a Marriage Encounter Retreat through our church. Its an originally Catholic organization that has spread out into other Christian denominations as well. It was an amazing weekend- very worth it. I totally recommend it to any couple, even if you think you have a great relationship- I think every marriage could benefit from it.

[godsbeloved79]

Originally Posted by dmvgirl

I have the best DH, but I sometimes feel bad crowing about him when so many people are so unhappy in thier marriages. I don't want people to think I'm bragging, but sometimes I do think we need to show others that a happy marriage is not an oxymoron (sp?) DH has stayed by my side when I was going through some tough mental health issues a few years ago, I know it was hell for him but he felt he had to and I am so grateful he did. We have things we don't see eye to eye on, but we found out that for the most part, we can work anything out as long as we talk about it. Now we just have fun being together. We just got back from a week of vacation by ourselves for the first time in years. (DS was staying with grammy) We had sooo much fun, just being with each other. He is truly my soulmate and vice versa.

I understand what you are saying, BUT we still have to express to others that there are still some GOOD marriages out there. It's not bragging, it's testifing... I love my husband and like you said at time we don't see eye to eye, but I know how to handle that... With humbleness and PURE love!

[godsbeloved79]

Originally Posted by sinderstorm

I also am blessed with an amazing DH- we've been married 2 years, together for 7, and he is my best friend. Like others, we've been through some very rough times (DH had cancer) before we were even married. The keys to our marriage is that we remain vigilent of always treating each other as we'd treat our best friend (even when arguing), and that we are always able to be honest with each other.

We had a fabulous weekend 2 weeks ago and did a Marriage Encounter Retreat through our church. Its an originally Catholic organization that has spread out into other Christian denominations as well. It was an amazing weekend- very worth it. I totally recommend it to any couple, even if you think you have a great relationship- I think every marriage could benefit from it.

May GOD continue to bless us all with GREAT marriages or soon to be marriages is my prayer... Thank you for sharing the information about the retreat.. Something I would like to attend one day with my husband.. We've be married for 3 years and we've known each other for 10.. I know he is definately my Soul Mate..

[RobinB]

Originally Posted by godsbeloved79

I understand what you are saying, BUT we still have to express to others that there are still some GOOD marriages out there. It's not bragging, it's testifing... I love my husband and like you said at time we don't see eye to eye, but I know how to handle that... With humbleness and PURE love!

I agree, and that's why I write romance fiction. I have friends in bad situations, but I want them to know it can get better. Plus, I like a story with a happy ending!

[SJN02]

I have been debating sharing this here. But I think you all will enjoy this book as much as I have. My DH and I were REAL close to divorcing a few months ago...he even moved out. We started going to christian counselors and the lady gave me a book that has changed the way I respond to my DH. He is now back in the house and things are going great. Yes, I still struggle keeping quite (and many other things too) but God is working on that with me. The book is called CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET. It is by Debi Pearl. It is only $12.00 and well worth it. I can't believe how I used to think helping him make the best decision for the family was ok. When really it was against God's way and making my DH feel less of a man. I need to keep quite and let DH make the decisions whether I think they are right or wrong. God did create me to be his help meet and him the leader of the home...The book goes on more, that is just 1 of the things I have learned. This is a christian book full of scriptures and truth about how we are to be the help meet God created us to be. I just wanted to share this book with you. I would encourage wifes to get it and strive to be the help meet to our DH's like God created us to be. You can get it off the web site but I am not sure if I can post it here. If you would like to get a copy off the website pm me and I will pm the address to you. THis book is for every wife whether you have problems in your marriage or even if your marriage is perfect. It is all about becoming the wife God created us to be

[RobinB]

Thanks for sharing that book, it sounds good.

Thought this sounded appropriate for this thread:

-/\/\-----------------------------------------------------------------
\ / TODAY'S VERSE from HEARTLIGHT -- http://www.heartlight.org/
--\/------------------------------------------------------------------




July 9, 2005


VERSE:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more
than rubies.

-- Proverbs 31:10


THOUGHT:
What would happen if we valued our spouses? What would happen if
we publicly valued a faithful wife more than a voluptuous starlet?
What would happen if character was valued more than money? I
believe it would transform our culture, enhance our marriages, and
produce stronger and better adjusted children. I know God would be
pleased!

[SJN02]

Originally Posted by RobinB

Thanks for sharing that book, it sounds good.

Thought this sounded appropriate for this thread:

-/\/\-----------------------------------------------------------------
\ / TODAY'S VERSE from HEARTLIGHT -- http://www.heartlight.org/
--\/------------------------------------------------------------------




July 9, 2005


VERSE:
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more
than rubies.

-- Proverbs 31:10

This verse is in the book I mentioned. That is a great verse to keep in mind
Thank you for posting the verse

[chassiepooh]

Hi, I just found this thread, and I wanted to share my relationship with my DH with you ladies.

I've been with DH for 7.5 years. Married for 6.5 years. We have a wonderful relationship. He is my best friend, and soulmate. We are inseperateable. Some say thats not healthy. But who's to say what's healthy for one relationship, is healthy for another. It's whatever works.

We met online. He ended knowing my uncle, we hit it off right away.

Our relationship works so well because of communication. We talk when something is on our minds, and we never go to bed angry. We really never argue, but we do have disagreements.

I'm lucky to have him in my life.

I'm glad you girls have great guys too

[RobinB]

Originally Posted by chassiepooh

Hi, I just found this thread, and I wanted to share my relationship with my DH with you ladies.


I'm glad you girls have great guys too

That's great, nice to meet you.

[godsbeloved79]

Thanks for sharing the book SJN02. I'm sending you a PM now. I've been struggling in that area for too long. I do need to be my husband's help mate; and not his MOM .. I love my husband and he is good to me. But I tend to think that my way is the way that he should be.. NOT so, GOD'S way is the best. It's a good feeling to know that there are others out there with blessed marriages.. LOL

[SJN02]

Originally Posted by godsbeloved79

Thanks for sharing the book SJN02. I'm sending you a PM now. I've been struggling in that area for too long. I do need to be my husband's help mate; and not his MOM .. I love my husband and he is good to me. But I tend to think that my way is the way that he should be.. NOT so, GOD'S way is the best. It's a good feeling to know that there are others out there with blessed marriages.. LOL

I hope you enjoy the book. I am so glad I was given that book. It is really helping me out ALOT. We have been married for 14 yrs. now and I used to think that nothing could seperate us...boy was I wrong. I am so thankful that God intervened. Yeah, sure there is alot of hurt that I am trying to work through with God's help, but I really do think that DH and I's marriage will be stronger because of the counseling and ME not being his MOM...that is hard to work on let me tell you...LOL I don't think I have ever been closer to God than I am now...God has his reasons for everything...Amazing how he knows how things will work out but when we are in the midst of tragic events we think WHERE ARE YOU GOD?...I have learned alot through this time with DH.

[brilliant100]

I love this thread. It is encouraging to single people too (me!). I will look for this book today at lunch. I want to be prepared for my soulmate whereever he is....................

[godsbeloved79]

brilliant100 that is a great idea.. Prepare yourself ahead of time!

[SJN02]

Brillant- You will learn alot from this book. I wish I would of read it before I got married...God will bless you for taking time to read it before you get married

I love coming in here reading this.

[funkycamper]

I've been married for 23+ years and each year gets better and better. It doesn't seem possible but it's true. We are best friends, laugh a lot, and enjoy each other's company over being with others. Like others, we have certainly had our trials and tribulations over the years. Heck, we survived raising teens together. We've also survived health issues, economic ups-and-down, and other stresses and each of these events only makes our marriage stronger.

However, I have to take issue with the book "Created to Be His Help Meet". I'm sorry but this book might work for some folks but it's not a panacea for anybody. For my marriage, it would be a bunch of hooey. Men are far more complex than this book would have you believe. My husband is relatively equal parts Commander, Visionary, and Steady....with a few other things thrown in as well. No, he's not perfect (as this book would try to make you think a man who mixes these qualities would be). The different parts of his personality come out in different situations. This is true of all people, men and women. Are women so one-dimensional? No. So why should men be?

To be honest, over the years my church has had numerous women's study groups with similar books. On a couple of occasions, I tried to apply the principles involved. These occasions led to some of the worst times in our marriage. The type of advice in this type of book is clearly not good for me and my husband. Not at all.

If this type of advice works for you, go for it. I'm not saying the book is bad for everybody. But these types of books shouldn't be considered as THE answer for everyone's relationships. I hope you all understand that I'm not saying you're wrong if you like the book. I just hate to see a one-size-fits-all approach for good marriages advocated.

[godsbeloved79]

funkycamper thanks for stopping by and adding your input.. Like they say "Different strokes for different folks"! Have a nice day and be blessed!

[erg1269]

Sometimes i dont think there is ever a point where my hubby will help...although i help him on a daily basis. i put others before me..my hubby, my daughter , my son, my-ex hubby, my ex-MIL... saving me for last. Im tired , exhausted and run down. I have no cares for the way i look anymore cuz nobody cares. i work full time , i work part time, I feel as though im stomped on in more ways than I can even count. But im still there for them just the same. i know God has a purpose as to why my life is going the way it is.. i think some days that he is testing me... but no matter what i pray to have HIM watch over those i care about the most and i pray for some sanity in my life...

[godsbeloved79]

I touch and agree with you as well.... GOD has his timing in our lives for every season.. Be strong and never get weary in well doing!

Originally Posted by erg1269

Sometimes i dont think there is ever a point where my hubby will help...although i help him on a daily basis. i put others before me..my hubby, my daughter , my son, my-ex hubby, my ex-MIL... saving me for last. Im tired , exhausted and run down. I have no cares for the way i look anymore cuz nobody cares. i work full time , i work part time, I feel as though im stomped on in more ways than I can even count. But im still there for them just the same. i know God has a purpose as to why my life is going the way it is.. i think some days that he is testing me... but no matter what i pray to have HIM watch over those i care about the most and i pray for some sanity in my life...