Suicide............how can I help!

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 07:41 AM

My ex just called and said he is going to try again. He is depressed, no job, no money,no friends. Who can I call? Something is very wrong with him. I cannot reach is mother and I don't have the phone number of any of his other family members.

I can't leave work to go check on him. Is there a hotline, should I call the police?

gungadinn1997 · 06-14-2005, 07:45 AM

I would start by calling the police.

HTH

Hugsssss

Kim

Dreams · 06-14-2005, 07:45 AM

Are you sure he's suicidal? I'm not implying anything here..but sometimes people say that for a reaction. When did you two break up?

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 07:49 AM

He has taken excessive sleeping pills mixed with cold medicin at least three or four times in an attempt to kill him self. I think he is scared to really do it but I think today may be different.

We have broken up to may times to count.

I dont want to do nothing and then find out he really did kill himself

Lisa Rae · 06-14-2005, 07:50 AM

Don't take any chances! Call the Police..if nothing else..they will hold him for 72 hours for observation( at the hospital). He will probably be pissed...but at least he will be around to get some help!

Dreams · 06-14-2005, 07:52 AM

Yea..call the police.

AllieCat0817 · 06-14-2005, 07:52 AM

LowCarbDenise · 06-14-2005, 08:05 AM

911 NOW. They will put him in 72-hour hold and make him talk to a therapist.

themuffin · 06-14-2005, 08:11 AM

OMG this is so serious!!!!!! Please call 911.

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 08:28 AM

I left work and went to his house. He did take some pills at least 6 cold tablets, a handfull of asprin, and possibly some theraflu.

He looked fine when I got there, was lying on the couch with TV off and blinds closed.

I am back at work, not sure if I should call the police. It would be my word against his as to how much medicine he took. He will lie and say I am crazy.

Michael · 06-14-2005, 08:30 AM

Obviously you need to call 911 or a suicide hotline. Why even question it????? CALL NOW!

Dreams · 06-14-2005, 08:31 AM

Well atleast he seems to be ok for now...but he does need some help. I'd still call....you are only looking out for what's best here. No one will think you are crazy - law enforcement deals with this stuff all the time and I'm sure they will understand where you are coming from, regardless of what he says.

lowcarb4life1980 · 06-14-2005, 08:31 AM

He needs to be institutionalized until he's no longer a suicide risk, and you need to cut off all contact with him. That's the only real answer; otherwise, this crazy cycle you two are stuck in will continue.

boxernut · 06-14-2005, 08:36 AM

If there is tylenol in that medication he took an over dose will shut down his liver. I would call 911 and tell them what he took.

darkangel · 06-14-2005, 08:36 AM

If he's just taken all the medication you have said he has, then he really doesnt sound fine at all. I agree with everyone else, definitely get help.

PuppetMaster · 06-14-2005, 08:39 AM

Wow, this is going to sound really callous, and this is based on my experience ONLY. I've known two people that killed themselves in my life. Neither of them announced it, they took care of all the loose ends in their life and the methods they used were impossible to fail. I've known some other people who made a habit of telling people they were going to and made pretty silly attempts like the car in the garage with the car running but the garage door was 1/4 of the way open while talking to people on their cell phones. In most of these cases its just an effort to get attention or make people feel guilty or responsible.

I'm not saying that is the case here at all or that you shouldnt do anything...but like DreamsUnwind mentioned...it's something to consider.

Sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing.

GeorgiaBride · 06-14-2005, 08:53 AM

From my time in the military, and the numerous suicide prevention briefings I have attended, a cry for help is a cry for help. Granted, some people who are serious about it don't tell anyone, but some people who are serious about it DO tell people.. The most tragic thing is when someone tells people they want to kill themselves, and they are dismissed because 'if they were serious, they would never have told anyone'. Well, my beloved uncle killed himself when I was in high school, after telling several family members that he was going to, and they dismissed it for exactly that reason.
Call the police. He needs help.

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 08:59 AM

I just got off the phone with 911. They are going to go by and do an 'Emercency Check'.

This relationship has been a nightmare. I cannot believe this is my life.

GeorgiaBride · 06-14-2005, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brilliant100

I just got off the phone with 911. They are going to go by and do an 'Emercency Check'.

This relationship has been a nightmare. I cannot believe this is my life.

I'm sorry this had to happen to you! SO glad you called 911... I went through the same thing with my ex- he sent me a letter tho, telling me that he was going to kill himself. I was 99% sure that he was full of it, just trying to make me feel sorry for him, wanting drama, but... I was pregnant with DD at the time, and I couldn't face the idea of telling her someday that her father had killed himself, and I knew he was going to do it, and didn't stop him!! I called the police too, and his mom... He gave up on suicide, went home to mom, and has spent the last 8 years ducking his child support payments! LOL! Oh well, if he had died, I would have felt like a murderer.. Now, I can dislike him with a clear conscience! I agree with the earlier post- cut off contact. Whether he is suicidal or not, he is using his potential death as a tool to mess with you. That kind of manipulation you don't need. You have called 911, which is the best, most caring thing you could do in this situation... Now, change your phone number, and don't look back.

*B* · 06-14-2005, 09:10 AM

I'm sorry your going through this. I would call the police EVERYTIME he made a threat. If he is serious, maybe they can get him some help. If he is not serious, maybe he will stop the threats because he will know that you will call the police and let them handle it.

B

DiamondDeb · 06-14-2005, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuppetMaster

Wow, this is going to sound really callous, and this is based on my experience ONLY. I've known two people that killed themselves in my life. Neither of them announced it, they took care of all the loose ends in their life and the methods they used were impossible to fail. I've known some other people who made a habit of telling people they were going to and made pretty silly attempts like the car in the garage with the car running but the garage door was 1/4 of the way open while talking to people on their cell phones. In most of these cases its just an effort to get attention or make people feel guilty or responsible.

I'm not saying that is the case here at all or that you shouldnt do anything...but like DreamsUnwind mentioned...it's something to consider.

Sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing.

Your opinion is understandable based on your experience but you don't know that the people you speak of wouldn't have gone ahead with it if things hadn't changed. Suicide threats must always be taken seriously. Most people who threaten suicide are at risk & need help. I'd hate to assume someone was just looking for attention & then learn they had committed suicide.

Brilliant, I'm glad you called the police. It was the right thing to do. I hope things improve soon.

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 09:30 AM

Just got off the phone with him. He called to ask why I called the police. The police just left his apartment, they only asked him if he was ok, nothing else??????????????????????? WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was the point of that? I just left a message at his mother's house about what he did and that someone needs to go by and check on him. I don't have the number to any other friends or family. I deleted that info after we broke up. I am sooo stressed out. He is such an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mary McD · 06-14-2005, 09:44 AM

He needs to know that when he makes those threats that you WILL take them seriously and take action, not necessarily by coming over, which is what he wants you to do, but by calling the authorities and letting them handle the situation. If you are broken up with him, you don't have to be sucked back in by his threats. If he REALLY wanted to commit suicide, God forbid, then he would do it without telling you.

brilliant100 · 06-14-2005, 10:03 AM

I called 911 to find out WHT they did when they went over there. They said he was physically examed and asked a series of questions and nothing appeared to be abnormal. They said they cannot make him go to the hospital. The police said he may have lied to me about taking the medicine or just put it somewhere verses taking it. I believe in my heart that he took it. It was there this morning when I left, then when I popped back over to his house (he did not know I was comming because I was at work) the packages/containers were empty. I called the Suicide Hotline back and they said there is nothing I can do.

I am trying to find a counsler at a local church.

I just talked to him and he sounded groggy/sleepy. If they examined him and he appeared ok, he must not have taken enough to kill him self.

1st Lolita · 06-14-2005, 01:54 PM

He is getting his way with you because he is a manipulative person. You will go check on him because he has threatened to kill himself. This is not fair to you and God knows your heart and its NOT your fault if he does succeed one day. Just call 911 and have them check on him - change your number - and pray for him. My ex did that to me and to my horror had to hear him shoot himself over the phone. It was so horrible to hear that bang and then wonder - did he really do it. His sister called crying and I couldn't handle it. Turns out he did shoot himself but not in the head like he said he was. He shot himself on his side and it just went in and out. He went to the hospital but even his family lied to them and said it was an accident - cleaning his gun. Go figure. Just don't let him take advantage of you and don't blame yourself. You did the right thing calling them but I think I would still change my number and call 911 if he shows up. He'll probably want you to be a witness to his deed.

slimfast · 06-14-2005, 02:28 PM

ALWAYS call for help but NEVER go there. he is manipulating you, and ofcourse change your number. if you have moved on you should be able to do this things. dont be scared just do it.

browneyedgirl · 06-14-2005, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slimfast

ALWAYS call for help but NEVER go there. he is manipulating you, and ofcourse change your number. if you have moved on you should be able to do this things. dont be scared just do it.

Ditto.

IMO, these look to be desperate attempts to keep you from getting on with your life.

Of course, having had my own experiences with a manipulative ex-BF, my opinion on the matter is less than objective.

L

rosyposy · 06-14-2005, 03:59 PM

You could print this out for him or give him the link: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

But you aren't responsible for his actions. His decisions are his and his alone, and it sounds to me as if he is trying to manipulate you. Call the police if necessary, but don't go running over there to check on him.

Lori · 06-14-2005, 04:22 PM

I feel a little uncomfortable with so many people stating so strongly that he is manipulative and that she should change her phone number and cut off all contact. Our advice should be tempered by the fact that we don't know the situation.

Surely it is good advice to dial 911 and call the police, but as far as their relationship itself goes, I don't think any of us know enough to tell her what to do.

Just MHO.

06-14-2005, 07:41 AM	#1
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	Suicide............how can I help! My ex just called and said he is going to try again. He is depressed, no job, no money,no friends. Who can I call? Something is very wrong with him. I cannot reach is mother and I don't have the phone number of any of his other family members. I can't leave work to go check on him. Is there a hotline, should I call the police?

06-14-2005, 08:11 AM	#9
themuffin Senior LCF Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brooklyn, New York Posts: 737 Gallery: themuffin Stats: 160/160/130 WOE: Atkins Start Date: re-inducted -June 13, 2006	Serious OMG this is so serious!!!!!! Please call 911.

06-14-2005, 08:39 AM	#16
PuppetMaster Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: kansas Posts: 79 Gallery: PuppetMaster Stats: 261/258/190 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Jan 2006	Wow, this is going to sound really callous, and this is based on my experience ONLY. I've known two people that killed themselves in my life. Neither of them announced it, they took care of all the loose ends in their life and the methods they used were impossible to fail. I've known some other people who made a habit of telling people they were going to and made pretty silly attempts like the car in the garage with the car running but the garage door was 1/4 of the way open while talking to people on their cell phones. In most of these cases its just an effort to get attention or make people feel guilty or responsible. I'm not saying that is the case here at all or that you shouldnt do anything...but like DreamsUnwind mentioned...it's something to consider. Sorry you have to deal with this kind of thing. __________________ The Secret to Life: Patient- "Doc, it hurts when I do this." Doctor- "Then don't do that anymore."

06-14-2005, 10:03 AM	#24
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	I called 911 to find out WHT they did when they went over there. They said he was physically examed and asked a series of questions and nothing appeared to be abnormal. They said they cannot make him go to the hospital. The police said he may have lied to me about taking the medicine or just put it somewhere verses taking it. I believe in my heart that he took it. It was there this morning when I left, then when I popped back over to his house (he did not know I was comming because I was at work) the packages/containers were empty. I called the Suicide Hotline back and they said there is nothing I can do. I am trying to find a counsler at a local church. I just talked to him and he sounded groggy/sleepy. If they examined him and he appeared ok, he must not have taken enough to kill him self. __________________ 8-21-07 'Jumpin back on the wagon' 194 169 goal by 9-22 Anniversay

06-14-2005, 01:54 PM	#25
1st Lolita Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 136 Gallery: 1st Lolita Stats: 236/211/140 WOE: ATKINS! Start Date: March 19, 2005	Change your phone number! He is getting his way with you because he is a manipulative person. You will go check on him because he has threatened to kill himself. This is not fair to you and God knows your heart and its NOT your fault if he does succeed one day. Just call 911 and have them check on him - change your number - and pray for him. My ex did that to me and to my horror had to hear him shoot himself over the phone. It was so horrible to hear that bang and then wonder - did he really do it. His sister called crying and I couldn't handle it. Turns out he did shoot himself but not in the head like he said he was. He shot himself on his side and it just went in and out. He went to the hospital but even his family lied to them and said it was an accident - cleaning his gun. Go figure. Just don't let him take advantage of you and don't blame yourself. You did the right thing calling them but I think I would still change my number and call 911 if he shows up. He'll probably want you to be a witness to his deed. __________________ 7-13-05 Started challenge to take of 30 lbs so I can look better nakie. 7-13-05 - 216 7-16-05 - 214 7-20-05 - 211 (will start weighing on Mondays) 7-25-05 8-1-05

06-14-2005, 07:45 AM	#2
gungadinn1997 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: PA Posts: 841 Gallery: gungadinn1997 Stats: ?/?/? WOE: Low carb Start Date: March 24, 2008	I would start by calling the police. HTH Hugsssss Kim

06-14-2005, 07:45 AM	#3
Dreams Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philly Posts: 22,926 Gallery: Dreams Stats: Shrinking WOE: I'll let ya know when I figure it out	Are you sure he's suicidal? I'm not implying anything here..but sometimes people say that for a reaction. When did you two break up?

06-14-2005, 07:49 AM	#4
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	He has taken excessive sleeping pills mixed with cold medicin at least three or four times in an attempt to kill him self. I think he is scared to really do it but I think today may be different. We have broken up to may times to count. I dont want to do nothing and then find out he really did kill himself

06-14-2005, 07:50 AM	#5
Lisa Rae Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Venice, Ca Posts: 10,271 Gallery: Lisa Rae Stats: 250+/???/150 WOE: Atkins or Bust! Also Smoke Free! Start Date: September 15th, 2000	Don't take any chances! Call the Police..if nothing else..they will hold him for 72 hours for observation( at the hospital). He will probably be pissed...but at least he will be around to get some help!

06-14-2005, 07:52 AM	#6
Dreams Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philly Posts: 22,926 Gallery: Dreams Stats: Shrinking WOE: I'll let ya know when I figure it out	Yea..call the police.

06-14-2005, 07:52 AM	#7
AllieCat0817 Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Southeastern Coastal SC Posts: 11,974 Gallery: AllieCat0817 Stats: 213.5/133.5/140 WOE: Atkins Maintenance Start Date: 5/23/03	911

06-14-2005, 08:05 AM	#8
LowCarbDenise Senior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Santa Cruz Mountains, CA Posts: 454 Gallery: LowCarbDenise Stats: 250/211/150 WOE: Atkins	911 NOW. They will put him in 72-hour hold and make him talk to a therapist.

06-14-2005, 08:28 AM	#10
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	I left work and went to his house. He did take some pills at least 6 cold tablets, a handfull of asprin, and possibly some theraflu. He looked fine when I got there, was lying on the couch with TV off and blinds closed. I am back at work, not sure if I should call the police. It would be my word against his as to how much medicine he took. He will lie and say I am crazy.

06-14-2005, 08:30 AM	#11
Michael Senior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: New York Posts: 544 Gallery: Michael Start Date: August 9 2004	Obviously you need to call 911 or a suicide hotline. Why even question it????? CALL NOW!

06-14-2005, 08:31 AM	#12
Dreams Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Philly Posts: 22,926 Gallery: Dreams Stats: Shrinking WOE: I'll let ya know when I figure it out	Well atleast he seems to be ok for now...but he does need some help. I'd still call....you are only looking out for what's best here. No one will think you are crazy - law enforcement deals with this stuff all the time and I'm sure they will understand where you are coming from, regardless of what he says.

06-14-2005, 08:31 AM	#13
lowcarb4life1980 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Shreveport, LA Posts: 175 Gallery: lowcarb4life1980 Stats: 240/220/170-175ish WOE: Atkins Start Date: 6/5/05	He needs to be institutionalized until he's no longer a suicide risk, and you need to cut off all contact with him. That's the only real answer; otherwise, this crazy cycle you two are stuck in will continue.

06-14-2005, 08:36 AM	#14
boxernut Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Cape May County, NJ Posts: 529 Gallery: boxernut Stats: 181/150/135 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 6/2003	If there is tylenol in that medication he took an over dose will shut down his liver. I would call 911 and tell them what he took.

06-14-2005, 08:36 AM	#15
darkangel Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: North Florida, USA Posts: 295 Gallery: darkangel	If he's just taken all the medication you have said he has, then he really doesnt sound fine at all. I agree with everyone else, definitely get help.

06-14-2005, 08:53 AM	#17
GeorgiaBride MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 2,405 Gallery: GeorgiaBride	From my time in the military, and the numerous suicide prevention briefings I have attended, a cry for help is a cry for help. Granted, some people who are serious about it don't tell anyone, but some people who are serious about it DO tell people.. The most tragic thing is when someone tells people they want to kill themselves, and they are dismissed because 'if they were serious, they would never have told anyone'. Well, my beloved uncle killed himself when I was in high school, after telling several family members that he was going to, and they dismissed it for exactly that reason. Call the police. He needs help.

06-14-2005, 08:59 AM	#18
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	I just got off the phone with 911. They are going to go by and do an 'Emercency Check'. This relationship has been a nightmare. I cannot believe this is my life.

06-14-2005, 09:10 AM	#20
B Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 217 Gallery: B Stats: 197/180.5/130 WOE: Atkins (Again!) Start Date: 6/7/05	I'm sorry your going through this. I would call the police EVERYTIME he made a threat. If he is serious, maybe they can get him some help. If he is not serious, maybe he will stop the threats because he will know that you will call the police and let them handle it. B

06-14-2005, 09:30 AM	#22
brilliant100 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Western, USA Posts: 2,444 Gallery: brilliant100 Stats: 266/194/169 WOE: Atkins/M&E Feast, Lower fat & Lower calorie Start Date: restarted 6/1/05 M/E, back on the wagon 8-21-07	Just got off the phone with him. He called to ask why I called the police. The police just left his apartment, they only asked him if he was ok, nothing else??????????????????????? WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What was the point of that? I just left a message at his mother's house about what he did and that someone needs to go by and check on him. I don't have the number to any other friends or family. I deleted that info after we broke up. I am sooo stressed out. He is such an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06-14-2005, 09:44 AM	#23
Mary McD MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tustin, California Posts: 1,225 Gallery: Mary McD Stats: 194/159/120 WOE: Low carb Start Date: June 2003	He needs to know that when he makes those threats that you WILL take them seriously and take action, not necessarily by coming over, which is what he wants you to do, but by calling the authorities and letting them handle the situation. If you are broken up with him, you don't have to be sucked back in by his threats. If he REALLY wanted to commit suicide, God forbid, then he would do it without telling you.

06-14-2005, 02:28 PM	#26
slimfast Junior LCF Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 10 Gallery: slimfast Stats: 180/170/150 WOE: mderate carbs Start Date: nov 2004	ALWAYS call for help but NEVER go there. he is manipulating you, and ofcourse change your number. if you have moved on you should be able to do this things. dont be scared just do it.

06-14-2005, 03:59 PM	#28
rosyposy Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Derbyshire, UK Posts: 604 Gallery: rosyposy Stats: 5' 3" 221/204/120 WOE: EFGT Start Date: Restart: 26 November 2007	You could print this out for him or give him the link: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ But you aren't responsible for his actions. His decisions are his and his alone, and it sounds to me as if he is trying to manipulate you. Call the police if necessary, but don't go running over there to check on him.

06-14-2005, 04:22 PM	#29
Lori Eachday Join Date: May 2003 Location: New York Posts: 14,636 Gallery: Lori Stats: 20lbs goal/16lbs down/ 4 to go WOE: High Stress Diet	I feel a little uncomfortable with so many people stating so strongly that he is manipulative and that she should change her phone number and cut off all contact. Our advice should be tempered by the fact that we don't know the situation. Surely it is good advice to dial 911 and call the police, but as far as their relationship itself goes, I don't think any of us know enough to tell her what to do. Just MHO.