single in your 20s

JRo · 05-23-2005, 02:53 PM

I wasn't sure whether to post this on the PG or here, but I think you guys might understand a little better.

I enjoy being single right now and meeting new people and not being committed. That being said - I sometimes feel really alone when it comes to values and dating. I feel like I'm still in college sometimes - people just sleep together really soon, and don't even really date - it's just a lot of random hooking up. I was shocked when I found out a friend of mine had been cheating on her boyfriend - slept with 3 different guys in a week; I finally convinced her to break up with her boyfriend.

It's not that I'm a virgin or anything like that, I just prefer to wait until I'm a little more serious with someone and it seems like the people, guys especially, who wait to actually be in a relationship are few and far between, everyone just wants to have fun and screw around. I feel like a prude, and I feel like I just can't identify with people my age around here.

Is it my age group? Should I try dating older guys or is this just how single adults act?

Does anyone know where I'm coming from?

Woman Typing Badly · 05-23-2005, 05:01 PM

Have you considered a Christians Singles Group at a local church?

JRo · 05-23-2005, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LowCarbInFL

Have you considered a Christians Singles Group at a local church?

It's a good idea, but I'm not religious. I just want to find a happy middle ground of people who can go out and drink and have fun but don't feel the need to jump into bed with everyone they meet, and I'm feeling completely alone.

Dreamer37 · 05-23-2005, 05:15 PM

Well im single and 40 and it happens in my age group as well. I had a first date the other night and we discussed sex and I told him im waiting until im in a serious relationship and if thats not what he wants then he can certainly go somewhere else!! It seems that relationships go backwards. You meet, have sex and then start dating and then fall in love...I want to do it the right way!!

Skinnymocah · 05-23-2005, 05:50 PM

In my 30;s and I gave up, because this seems to be the trend. I feel like a nun for not wanting to jump right into the sack, and men give up on me pretty easily after they figure out it's not gonna happen on date 2. Very sad.

Skinnymocah · 05-23-2005, 05:56 PM

n' stuff. (double post)

BigRed · 05-23-2005, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JadeRosie

Is it my age group? Should I try dating older guys or is this just how single adults act?

Does anyone know where I'm coming from?

Sorry, but I have never understood the whole dating concept. I am 48 years old, been married twice and I can count on 2 hands the dates I have been on!

On dates people dress up real pretty, (not in everyday clothes!) talk with grace and softly, (subjects they wouldn't spend 2 seconds on normally) and act like people they have seen on tv or in magazines (but not themselves) ... THEN, when the 'other person' falls in love with that image, they get married, then the costume comes off, and shock sets in!

Why do people do that?

Enjoy your life.
Go to the movies you enjoy, eat at the restarants you enjoy, read the books you like. Talk to everyone honestly. If someone wants to join you, do it... but don't date - enjoy life. If its right, you will know it and so will the other person. DO NOT WORRY about dating!

As for where and who... try new things and meet new people. You might enjoy a 'christain's singles group and you might enjoy Mensa, and you might enjoy a computer club and you might enjoy... a lot of things... you will never know until you try!

ucdgrl17 · 05-23-2005, 09:18 PM

hey...i'm single and 23 and i think it all depends on who you are. Jumping into bed is something that i prefer to wait on, but i have friends that will do whenever they feel like. I think it depends on the person, what you want and need...etc...i believe it's all about the timing of it.

tsimmons · 05-23-2005, 11:38 PM

Well-I am married but I DO still remember those days.....And I think you are perfectly correct in not wanting to jump in the sack right away.....It is NOT your age group-TRUST ME-even with all of the present dangers (and no protection is 100% other than abstinence) of such actions-people still do it.
I don't understand it myself.....Good Luck-you're not the only one who still thinks sane-maybe it's just few and far between now days.

Matt · 05-24-2005, 01:12 AM

yep i think it is our age group, ive noticed the same. its sad really. it seems there are only a few of us here and there that actually want a real relationship and not just sex. i have yet to find someone like myself who wants a meaningful lasting relationship, so i just dont date anymore lol.

microChip · 05-24-2005, 12:19 PM

hmmm ...

I know there are guys out there who don't want to just "jump into bed with anyone" (I am one of them) ... but I many of the guys I know are not like that. I want to know a person before I sleep with them. Generally - guys love sex (duh) and some will take almost anything they can get.

BigRed - I guess I think that there are two different "types" of dating ... the "false front" type you mentioned, and the other which is really just the "hanging out and having fun" type. I consider both to be "dates" of a sort ... just that one is more expensive and less "true".

... JMO of course.

- Chip

mzmawissa · 05-24-2005, 01:04 PM

It's the age group and seems start younger.It's more than a badge nowadays.Someone I knw that is in college is ruining his life, but he has girls nightly,they cook for him, clean, etc.Gets the pregg...ohh heck..get an abortion.Just no integrity as it relates to sexual orientation and preservation

djalomo · 05-24-2005, 02:02 PM

You're not alone, I feel the same way you do. I love sex -- but have never and don't think i could ever do the "one-night stand" or ultra-casual sex thing. i just cannot be turned on by someone i don't know well -- i guess that's sort of strange. i don't get aroused on physical things alone, just can't.

i've been in several great serious relationships with great guys -- there are plenty out there.

Bubbles · 05-25-2005, 06:54 AM

I am 42 and married at 23. I loved getting dressed up for a date and actually getting to know someone before we jumped into the sack. But so few guys were on the same wavelength in their 20's. I was never comfortable with one night stands or casual sex. I would look towards older guys if you want a commitment.
There are men out there that want to marry a girl without 100 notches on her bedpost. I would consider joining a club that interested me, try something new like flying a plane or and art class. DH and I attended a gourmet cooking class last year and there were 3 single 30 something guys that were so sweet and claimed that the women out there were only interested in having a good time and did not want relationships or had a nasty ex husband and 2-3 bratty kids.
It seems to me you would be quite a catch in the dating pool.

djalomo · 05-25-2005, 09:45 AM

^^ I agree, I've pretty much always older men and have had good luck with that.

JRo · 05-25-2005, 09:19 PM

awww thanks everyone! It's good to know I'm not alone! I just had a really nice date with a REALLY nice guy - a midwesterner like me, a little older, a total gentleman. I'm on cloud 9 right now. The biggest problem of the night is that we were both too shy for the first kiss - what a refreshing change!

snflwr · 05-25-2005, 09:51 PM

Aww good dates are hard to come by..so you've done good!

Keep us updated yeah?

djalomo · 05-25-2005, 10:07 PM

i love great first dates!

good for you! keep us posted

Truth05 · 06-13-2005, 08:39 AM

The sad fact is that it's hard to locate quality people that haven't slept with half the town. I am now single at 33 and had been with my wife since I was 21. I am now meeting women and asking questions and finding out they have been with enough men to form an army squad and some a platoon

I know one of my friends went through a "man ****" stage after his divorce trying to find the right one but I'm not really that brazen. I don't even think I have HS1 cold sores so I would like to find another person who is as sexually healthy as I so when I am in the relationship I don't have to worry about

That's going to be a pretty tall order when something like one in 3 people have some sort of STD and I would think those with HS1 cold sores are even higher.

Finding such a person that is compatible is going to be nearly impossible but they do exist. Unfortunately, most are married in a stable relationship. That was me until recently

Don't give up hope but you can't keep looking in the same places. Church groups are a wonderful idea as are referrals from close friends who "know" somebody... Truth05

Skinnymocah · 06-13-2005, 04:55 PM

Truth, Your post is so dead on. When I was searching, I found a lot of men that would just throw their # at me, esp online0 -- hey' your pic is cute, call me.

Ehh??

I finally asked a few guys why they do this and they said because the women do it too... just give out their #. Sleep with anybody. Look for someone to take care of them.

ARGH.

I'd actually refraini from church groups. They are worse than non church groups... they just want you to be quiet about it... or they want to 'save you from being doomed to hell' and THEN want you to have sex with them and be quiet about it. And I'm a Christian, a Preacher's Kid, no doubt!

JRo · 06-15-2005, 09:11 PM

ok sorry here's my update.

It's been almost 4 weeks and we're still dating - we're taking it pretty slow which isn't at all what I'm used to - I mean emotionally. I'm used to things getting really serious pretty quickly - probably because I like that security and I find guys who do too, but then they fizzle quickly. We'll see. Keep your fingers crossed for me - he's a really good guy.

walkthebeach · 06-28-2005, 01:37 PM

I decided to read this thread because I have a 21 yr old niece who is having similar problems. She is a beautiful young woman, goes to college and has guys interested in her. She does not want to sleep with anyone just yet. Her storyline is, dates a guy for about 2 mos, then they move on because she won't hop in the sack with them. I told her maybe she should check out a church singles group. But she doesn't go to church, never has. She just had this happen to her again this weekend when I was visiting; guy she was crazy about and had dated for two months has not been calling her, text messaged her that he couldn't get together this weekend because he had to do something else. She's so down; I don't know what to tell her. Where do you find a nice young man who hasn't slept with the entire female population of a town? She is not into going to bars.

djalomo · 07-02-2005, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by walkthebeach

Where do you find a nice young man who hasn't slept with the entire female population of a town? She is not into going to bars.

I've met pretty much all of my exes, who were very nice men, in school or through work. People always say company romances aren't "worth it" but I work in a very large company where there are several couples, many of whom are married. My company doesn't "frown upon" it and it's sort of common in my profession (media). I've men plenty of very nice men lately at work conventions and mixers.

Is she involved in any activities outside of class? When I was in college I worked at the school paper and radio station and did student senate and then I joined a sorority. Greek life, if you're VERY careful is a good way to network, as are campus organizations. I would recommend to her to find out what she's interested, get involved and have fun. She'll meet someone cool while she's enjoying herself and not really "looking."

As a side note -- I never really take anyone seriously that I meet in a bar. In fact, I think I've met a guy in a bar once in my lifetime that I pursued a relationship with. Recently I ran into a guy in a bar that I dated, but we were both at the bar for an independent film festival and he volunteers with the organization that ran the festival, so it wasn't just like a random occurance. I pretty much always assume a guy in a bar just likes the way I look and wanna hook up.

And most of the time they're dumb and don't have a real job. I hate dumb guys

LindaFaye · 07-05-2005, 05:50 PM

If you are not a Christain you should be--The bible is a good
place to start--Not being rude just the facts--Linda

Lehgrad · 07-08-2005, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LindaFaye

If you are not a Christain you should be--The bible is a good
place to start--Not being rude just the facts--Linda

Actually, that was very rude. Talk about close minded. Ntm, it has nothing to do with this thread.

I just turned 24 y/o. I have a really hard time meeting guys too! I just decided to start online dating. Some of my friends turn their noses up at it and are kind of annoying, but oh well. My brother met his girlfriend of almost 2 years online, a few of his friends met their GFs online, I have one friend who is marrying a guy who she met online and another who is already married to someone she met online.
It is tough because I work closely with a few guys, but it is too close to have a relationship. In a big company, it would be a different story, but not here. I am becoming more active and joining new stuff with no luck yet! I'm going to not concentrate on it for a while and just do stuff I enjoy

JRo · 07-10-2005, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LindaFaye

If you are not a Christain you should be--The bible is a good
place to start--Not being rude just the facts--Linda

not being rude myself, but I really don't see how this has ANYTHING to do with what I posted. In fact, I'm pretty sure I described myself as someone very well grounded and with strong values, and that is why I'm having trouble meeting like-minded guys.

Honestly, I find your proselytizing to me here very offputting, and it's comments like this that keep me away from church groups as places to meet people.

Skinnymocah · 07-11-2005, 05:28 AM

Uh.,,, I am a Christian, a Preacher's Kid, no doubt, and that was RUDE.

BonBon19 · 07-12-2005, 07:54 AM

Just had to post a reply to Truth regarding HS1 Cold Sores. Truth, cold sores are not considered a STD. People who get cold sores often come by the gene through heredity. My Mother gets the worst cold sores of anyone I know, and she was a virgin at the time of her marriage 50+ years ago to my Dad. I don't get them as badly or as often as she does, and I have a prescription now that taken correctly, stops them from even coming out. If you are going to rule out every woman who suffers from cold sores, you are certainly entitled to do so. However, you will be misjudging a large percentage of the population, and cutting down your prospects quite a bit! Good Luck!

05-23-2005, 02:53 PM	#1
JRo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: District of Columbia Posts: 13,277 Gallery: JRo Stats: 205/190/125 WOE: atkins Start Date: August 2008	single in your 20s I wasn't sure whether to post this on the PG or here, but I think you guys might understand a little better. I enjoy being single right now and meeting new people and not being committed. That being said - I sometimes feel really alone when it comes to values and dating. I feel like I'm still in college sometimes - people just sleep together really soon, and don't even really date - it's just a lot of random hooking up. I was shocked when I found out a friend of mine had been cheating on her boyfriend - slept with 3 different guys in a week; I finally convinced her to break up with her boyfriend. It's not that I'm a virgin or anything like that, I just prefer to wait until I'm a little more serious with someone and it seems like the people, guys especially, who wait to actually be in a relationship are few and far between, everyone just wants to have fun and screw around. I feel like a prude, and I feel like I just can't identify with people my age around here. Is it my age group? Should I try dating older guys or is this just how single adults act? Does anyone know where I'm coming from? __________________ Rosie, age 28, 5'5"

05-24-2005, 12:19 PM	#11
microChip Fox Alpha Male Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alaska Posts: 2,718 Gallery: microChip Stats: 446/242/180 Start Date: 19 April 2004	hmmm ... I know there are guys out there who don't want to just "jump into bed with anyone" (I am one of them) ... but I many of the guys I know are not like that. I want to know a person before I sleep with them. Generally - guys love sex (duh) and some will take almost anything they can get. BigRed - I guess I think that there are two different "types" of dating ... the "false front" type you mentioned, and the other which is really just the "hanging out and having fun" type. I consider both to be "dates" of a sort ... just that one is more expensive and less "true". ... JMO of course. - Chip __________________ Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. -- Henry Ford

05-25-2005, 06:54 AM	#14
Bubbles Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Live Free or Die Baby!!!!! Posts: 10,100 Gallery: Bubbles Stats: 140 lbs of flabby fun WOE: All the time Start Date: Feb 2003	I am 42 and married at 23. I loved getting dressed up for a date and actually getting to know someone before we jumped into the sack. But so few guys were on the same wavelength in their 20's. I was never comfortable with one night stands or casual sex. I would look towards older guys if you want a commitment. There are men out there that want to marry a girl without 100 notches on her bedpost. I would consider joining a club that interested me, try something new like flying a plane or and art class. DH and I attended a gourmet cooking class last year and there were 3 single 30 something guys that were so sweet and claimed that the women out there were only interested in having a good time and did not want relationships or had a nasty ex husband and 2-3 bratty kids. It seems to me you would be quite a catch in the dating pool. __________________ I don't have a problem with anger, I have a problem with idiots. Just because I don't care, does not mean I don't understand.

06-13-2005, 08:39 AM	#19
Truth05 Junior LCF Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 37 Gallery: Truth05	Quality People The sad fact is that it's hard to locate quality people that haven't slept with half the town. I am now single at 33 and had been with my wife since I was 21. I am now meeting women and asking questions and finding out they have been with enough men to form an army squad and some a platoon I know one of my friends went through a "man ****" stage after his divorce trying to find the right one but I'm not really that brazen. I don't even think I have HS1 cold sores so I would like to find another person who is as sexually healthy as I so when I am in the relationship I don't have to worry about That's going to be a pretty tall order when something like one in 3 people have some sort of STD and I would think those with HS1 cold sores are even higher. Finding such a person that is compatible is going to be nearly impossible but they do exist. Unfortunately, most are married in a stable relationship. That was me until recently Don't give up hope but you can't keep looking in the same places. Church groups are a wonderful idea as are referrals from close friends who "know" somebody... Truth05

05-23-2005, 05:01 PM	#2
Woman Typing Badly Typos, Typos, As Far As The Eye Can See... Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: in a galaxy far far away..... Posts: 11,920 Blog Entries: 20 Gallery: Woman Typing Badly Stats: gravity is turned off so I weigh nothing! WOE: Jedi Mind Trick	Have you considered a Christians Singles Group at a local church?

05-23-2005, 05:15 PM	#4
Dreamer37 Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Montana Posts: 5,332 Gallery: Dreamer37 Stats: 187/169/130 Start Date: october 26th restarted 1/29/08	Well im single and 40 and it happens in my age group as well. I had a first date the other night and we discussed sex and I told him im waiting until im in a serious relationship and if thats not what he wants then he can certainly go somewhere else!! It seems that relationships go backwards. You meet, have sex and then start dating and then fall in love...I want to do it the right way!!

05-23-2005, 05:50 PM	#5
Skinnymocah aka Miss Latte Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 41,456 Gallery: Skinnymocah Stats: WOE: Start Date:	In my 30;s and I gave up, because this seems to be the trend. I feel like a nun for not wanting to jump right into the sack, and men give up on me pretty easily after they figure out it's not gonna happen on date 2. Very sad.

05-23-2005, 05:56 PM	#6
Skinnymocah aka Miss Latte Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 41,456 Gallery: Skinnymocah Stats: WOE: Start Date:	n' stuff. (double post)

05-23-2005, 09:18 PM	#8
ucdgrl17 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: La Mesa, Ca Posts: 111 Gallery: ucdgrl17 Stats: 167/158/145 WOE: low carb Start Date: September 25th, 2005	hey...i'm single and 23 and i think it all depends on who you are. Jumping into bed is something that i prefer to wait on, but i have friends that will do whenever they feel like. I think it depends on the person, what you want and need...etc...i believe it's all about the timing of it.

05-23-2005, 11:38 PM	#9
tsimmons Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: USA Posts: 60 Gallery: tsimmons Stats: 208/160/150 (5'10") WOE: trying to stick to Atkins/kimkins	Well-I am married but I DO still remember those days.....And I think you are perfectly correct in not wanting to jump in the sack right away.....It is NOT your age group-TRUST ME-even with all of the present dangers (and no protection is 100% other than abstinence) of such actions-people still do it. I don't understand it myself.....Good Luck-you're not the only one who still thinks sane-maybe it's just few and far between now days.

05-24-2005, 01:12 AM	#10
Matt Resident Trans Fat Expert Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Atlanta GA Posts: 5,177 Gallery: Matt Stats: 370/200/170 WOE: Low GI / south beach type diet Start Date: Low GI Started: 4-05	yep i think it is our age group, ive noticed the same. its sad really. it seems there are only a few of us here and there that actually want a real relationship and not just sex. i have yet to find someone like myself who wants a meaningful lasting relationship, so i just dont date anymore lol.

05-24-2005, 01:04 PM	#12
mzmawissa Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: My heart is in Afghanistan Posts: 7,159 Gallery: mzmawissa Stats: 190/185/150 WOE: low carb my way for sure Start Date: ohh brother	It's the age group and seems start younger.It's more than a badge nowadays.Someone I knw that is in college is ruining his life, but he has girls nightly,they cook for him, clean, etc.Gets the pregg...ohh heck..get an abortion.Just no integrity as it relates to sexual orientation and preservation

05-24-2005, 02:02 PM	#13
djalomo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 13,769 Gallery: djalomo Stats: 132/ getting there! /110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2004	You're not alone, I feel the same way you do. I love sex -- but have never and don't think i could ever do the "one-night stand" or ultra-casual sex thing. i just cannot be turned on by someone i don't know well -- i guess that's sort of strange. i don't get aroused on physical things alone, just can't. i've been in several great serious relationships with great guys -- there are plenty out there.

05-25-2005, 09:45 AM	#15
djalomo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 13,769 Gallery: djalomo Stats: 132/ getting there! /110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2004	^^ I agree, I've pretty much always older men and have had good luck with that.

05-25-2005, 09:19 PM	#16
JRo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: District of Columbia Posts: 13,277 Gallery: JRo Stats: 205/190/125 WOE: atkins Start Date: August 2008	awww thanks everyone! It's good to know I'm not alone! I just had a really nice date with a REALLY nice guy - a midwesterner like me, a little older, a total gentleman. I'm on cloud 9 right now. The biggest problem of the night is that we were both too shy for the first kiss - what a refreshing change!

05-25-2005, 09:51 PM	#17
snflwr Senior LCF Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Chicago Posts: 442 Gallery: snflwr WOE: doing my own thing	Aww good dates are hard to come by..so you've done good! Keep us updated yeah?

05-25-2005, 10:07 PM	#18
djalomo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 13,769 Gallery: djalomo Stats: 132/ getting there! /110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2004	i love great first dates! good for you! keep us posted

06-13-2005, 04:55 PM	#20
Skinnymocah aka Miss Latte Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 41,456 Gallery: Skinnymocah Stats: WOE: Start Date:	Truth, Your post is so dead on. When I was searching, I found a lot of men that would just throw their # at me, esp online0 -- hey' your pic is cute, call me. Ehh?? I finally asked a few guys why they do this and they said because the women do it too... just give out their #. Sleep with anybody. Look for someone to take care of them. ARGH. I'd actually refraini from church groups. They are worse than non church groups... they just want you to be quiet about it... or they want to 'save you from being doomed to hell' and THEN want you to have sex with them and be quiet about it. And I'm a Christian, a Preacher's Kid, no doubt!

06-15-2005, 09:11 PM	#21
JRo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: District of Columbia Posts: 13,277 Gallery: JRo Stats: 205/190/125 WOE: atkins Start Date: August 2008	ok sorry here's my update. It's been almost 4 weeks and we're still dating - we're taking it pretty slow which isn't at all what I'm used to - I mean emotionally. I'm used to things getting really serious pretty quickly - probably because I like that security and I find guys who do too, but then they fizzle quickly. We'll see. Keep your fingers crossed for me - he's a really good guy.

06-28-2005, 01:37 PM	#22
walkthebeach MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2005 Location: St. Louis, MO Posts: 2,032 Gallery: walkthebeach Stats: 155/145.5/135 WOE: Low-carb, lower fat Start Date: Oct. 2002	I decided to read this thread because I have a 21 yr old niece who is having similar problems. She is a beautiful young woman, goes to college and has guys interested in her. She does not want to sleep with anyone just yet. Her storyline is, dates a guy for about 2 mos, then they move on because she won't hop in the sack with them. I told her maybe she should check out a church singles group. But she doesn't go to church, never has. She just had this happen to her again this weekend when I was visiting; guy she was crazy about and had dated for two months has not been calling her, text messaged her that he couldn't get together this weekend because he had to do something else. She's so down; I don't know what to tell her. Where do you find a nice young man who hasn't slept with the entire female population of a town? She is not into going to bars.

07-05-2005, 05:50 PM	#24
LindaFaye Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Greenwood,SC Posts: 836 Gallery: LindaFaye	If you are not a Christain you should be--The bible is a good place to start--Not being rude just the facts--Linda

07-11-2005, 05:28 AM	#27
Skinnymocah aka Miss Latte Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Gone. Posts: 41,456 Gallery: Skinnymocah Stats: WOE: Start Date:	Uh.,,, I am a Christian, a Preacher's Kid, no doubt, and that was RUDE.

07-12-2005, 07:54 AM	#28
BonBon19 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: At a location near you Posts: 2,285 Gallery: BonBon19 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Summer 2008	Just had to post a reply to Truth regarding HS1 Cold Sores. Truth, cold sores are not considered a STD. People who get cold sores often come by the gene through heredity. My Mother gets the worst cold sores of anyone I know, and she was a virgin at the time of her marriage 50+ years ago to my Dad. I don't get them as badly or as often as she does, and I have a prescription now that taken correctly, stops them from even coming out. If you are going to rule out every woman who suffers from cold sores, you are certainly entitled to do so. However, you will be misjudging a large percentage of the population, and cutting down your prospects quite a bit! Good Luck!