The Challenge to Become a Phenomenal Woman: Week Five!

[Skinnymocah]

Wanna go from So-so to Sexy? From BLAH to Bombshell?? Phrumpy to PHENOMENAL?

Join our Challenge to ‘Become A Phenomenal Woman’!

Join us in a new 9 week challenge designed to dust off the winter grays and propel us into Sexy Spring! Do you fall into the the ‘cute’, ‘pretty’, ‘attractive’ or even ‘beautiful’ categories but haven’t quite got the ‘sexy’ thing down yet? Maybe you just can’t find the time to devote to a personal beauty and style regimen. Maybe you just need a little help from friends who can offer some good recommendations. Maybe your self esteem needs a collagen injection. Well, place yourself at spot #1 on your ‘To Do’ list… spend the next nine weeks with us as we explore personal inner beauty !

Note: **This is NOT a WOE/Exercise challenge. If you want to use diet and exercise as a part of your transformation goals, you are welcome to track those goals as part of your program but we will not be focusing on those aspects solely in this challenge.**

From April to June, we will be focusing on topics of personal growth and life changing self revelation. We will be developing our own personal regimen and putting it to work! As you work your body with diet and exercise, work your mind and self esteem as well, and as you grow and propel yourself forward, you assist those around you in self growth!

The point of this challenge is to realize that we can be (and are) sexy at ANY size, from 2-32! If you need accountability, camaraderie, friendship, an ear to listen, or just a group of friends to take this journey with you, I hope you’ll join us here for the next 9 weeks.

Here are some topics I thought would be important to cover and focus on weekly:

Week 1: April 3-9: Step One in Confidence Building--- Pamper Yourself!
An ‘It Works!’ Session where we share tips and tricks in beauty and style and implement them into a personal regimen.

Week 2: April 10-16: Attitude- the corner stone of self confidence
Sexyness is 99% attitude—how do you gather the self confidence to let your sexy self shine through?

Week 3: April 17-23: Shyness and Social Phobia
Release Yourself From the Prison of ‘What Others Think’

Week 4: April 24-30: Developing Positive Personal Relationships
Eliminating negative and toxic connections, rebuilding and cherishing relationships that empower you!

Week 5: May 1-7: Body Image, Body Acceptance
Excerpts taken from AboutFace.com, a website dedicated to making changes in how women are portrayed in media and tips on fighting back.

Week 6: May 8-14: Assertive vs. B*tchy; Accommodating vs. Doormat:
Being your Confident Best in a man’s world

Week 7: May 15-21:Open Floor- What’s on your mind?
Loose discussions, reflection, bring up your own topics!

Week 8: May 22-28: Personal Action Plan— Where will you go from here?
How will your personal regimen/affirmations change after this challenge is complete? What goals have your set for yourself for your next personal challenge?

Week 9: May 29-June 3: Realization of your Goals and Unveiling
We will welcome transformation photos and testimonials of your 9 week journey. Use your confidence and what you’ve learned to inspire others!


There are 9 weeks to June, make them count… be You, only BETTER!


PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.

I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

[Nancy Pancy]

I am awaiting this weeks assignment Oh Great Leader!

[Skinnymocah]

Good Sunday morning, all!

We are more than halfway through our challenge. It is my sincere hope that we have all become stronger and more self confident, we've worked through a few issues and passed a few milestones... I know that I have! Thank you all so much for traveling this journey with me.

So this week we are focusing on Body Image, Body Acceptance. What an interesting topic for a weight loss forum, where so many of us have determined we're not satisfied with our current bodies and are attempting to reshape it. THis is the week where we can focus on our individual WOE's if you'd like. Talk about where you are and where you'd like to be, and what you're doing to get there.

But in the meantime... do you hate your body? Do you compare yourself to images in media and think you're inferior? Do you see people out and about and think 'I'm thinner than she is... I'm fatter than she is... I'm thinner than she is...' *guilty, here!*

I may not be in supermodel shape but this is the body I have. I don't have to be satisfied with it, but I must must must accept me as myself, curve for curve. I mustn't look at others and compare myself to them, because others have body image issues too!

My good friend Taya is 5'10" and 120 lbs. She is bone thin... hip bones sticking out thin. So many overweight women look at her and scoff. Little do they know that she has severe body issues. She thinks she is way too thin and CAN'T gain weight. Has a really hard time keeping weight on and sometimes wished she was as heavy as me!

A few weeks ago I was looking for some stuff on this topic and came across the website About Face. The website is about fighting poor body image messages through media.

Here's a list of 10 things from that we can do to enact change in those around us, especially in the young women in our lives:

1. Stop Talking About Your Weight (especially in front of young girls)Young girls listen to the way women talk about themselves and each other and learn the language of womanhood. Young women can only learn to love or even accept their bodies if they see women who love and accept their own. Every discussion we have about weight, or fat, or being too this or that, leaves an impression on the people around us. We are encouraging an unattainable quest for perfection.


2. Make a List of Women You Admire
How often is the woman's appearance a reason that you admire her? What do you think are the most important attributes a woman can have? What would you like a young woman to most admire in you? In herself? Does our culture seem to admire the same things in women that you do?


3. Question the Motives of the Fashion Industry
Always remember that the main objective of the fashion, cosmetic, diet, fitness and plastic surgery industries is to make money, not to make you the best person you can possibly be. The ultra thin ideal is working for them. But is it working for you? If every season your parent or partner told you to change who you are or how you dress wouldn't you question their motives?


4. Stop Weighing Yourself
Remember that the emphasis to be thin and beautiful is ever present in our society. Cut yourself some slack. Imagine spending a day, or a week, without the scale measuring your self esteem. Does the scale tell you that you aren't disciplined enough? That you aren't working hard enough? Get rid of it. The emphasis on thin is new and arbitrary. And it can be reversed.


5. Concentrate on Things You Do Well
Do you look in the mirror one day and think you look great and the next day and think you look awful? Your body isn't changing, your perception of it is. It is true that if you're feeling good about other things in your life, you'll be less critical of how you look. Do things you do well. And if you've had a bad day, stay away from the mirror. When a woman is happy and confident, she may not have a "perfect" body, but she doesn't give a damn!


6. Get Physical For Fun
Your body needs EXCERCISE and REAL FOODS. Take walks, dance in your living room, garden, golf...try to get moving for your heart, not to decrease the size of your bottom. You may lose weight and you may not, but your body will be stronger, your stress will be lower and you'll feel better.


7. Value Your Dollars
With more women working today than ever before, our dollars are much in demand. You are being courted! How much of your money goes into the fashion and cosmetics industries? What do you spend on eating regimens? What are you getting back? Look at your budget and be sure the money you spend reflects the person you are, not the person society wants you to be. If look's didn't matter at all, what would you spend your money on?


8. Voice Your Opinion
Both large and small businesses are interested in your input. Your letters and phone calls really make a difference. The following organizations can help you find the addresses of companies. Contact Media Action Alliance in Circle Pines, MN (612) 434-4343 or Media Watch in Santa Cruz, CA (408) 423-6355. Subscribe to Media Watch's terrific quarterly Action Agenda.


9. Be a Role Model
Every culture and every generation has its own rules and expectations for women. It is never easy to go against the grain, but there have always been women who took risks to grow and learn and succeed. And, there always will be. Many inspirational women have broken molds, set new standards, and blazed trails. Wouldn't you like to break a mold or two?


10. Break the Barriers
Author Sara Tisdale wrote, "We must all choose between battles: One battle is against the cultural ideal, and the other is against ourselves." Must we always define ourselves by what popular culture dictates? Develop your own style. Have fun-- Wear lipstick. Or don't. You're the boss of you. By speaking out and accepting yourself (dimples and all), you help break the barriers.

How do you define yourself? And how do you fight against negative body image issues?

[Skinnymocah]

*tap tap tap*




This thing on ?

[hereslizz]

Hi....my name is Lizz

*hi Lizz*

and I'm a hate-my-body-aholic.

I just switched to Body for Life because I was sick of dealing with my "weight" I want to focus more on getting in shape, in doing so, my weight will follow. So far I love the plan.

I bought a bikini.

Not to wear anywhere but so I can see before and after better. I love my curves....I'm just way too lumpy and jiggly. That is about to change.

I hate the media. I refuse to strive for a body like Heidi Klum. Normal people don't look like that. DH doesn't like 'em skinny anyway

[Skinnymocah]

I need to do some befores.



*twitch*

[Fine Mind]

Hi Phenoms!
Just had a wonderful pampering session including an intensive conditioning treatment on my hair. It is up in a towel as my facial dries but my hair felt unbelievable in the shower. I trust everyone is still pampering. I also have a new flowery top in pinks and corals to wear tomorrow with my spring suit. New pink bra, too! I almost bought a watch with a pink wristband--almost

I guess you all know I teach high school and some of the girls have the most incredible bodies. Why is youth wasted on the young?

[LibraEssence]

I'm hear!!! and I'm ready to do this

How do I define myself?
Fat with a whole lot of potential.

How do I fight against negative body issues
Being kind to myself, exercising and pushing me to love me for who I am Just the way I am (that last one is a never-ending work in progress)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Sunday. I made chicken marsala for dinner (regular and low carb) I had mine with a salad and the kids had theirs with veggie pasta and a salad. It came out pretty tasty, considering it was my first time making it. I also made some bruschetta as an appetizer with whole wheat toasted rolls. I love when I am in a cooking mood.

Well Ladies, I'm off to take my shower and give myself a facial, mani/pedi and watch some Sunday night t.v.

[Nancy Pancy]

Originally Posted by LibraEssence

I made chicken marsala for dinner (regular and low carb)

Recipe please.

[JunkintheTrunk]

Originally Posted by Skinnymocah

But in the meantime... do you hate your body? Do you compare yourself to images in media and think you're inferior? Do you see people out and about and think 'I'm thinner than she is... I'm fatter than she is... I'm thinner than she is...' *guilty, here!*

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I'm taking the same route Liz is - not BFL, but focusing on fitness and hoping the rest falls into place. I'm doing a 10K training programme and I'll see where that takes me, both in terms of fitness and appearance.

I recently gained 20 lbs (in six months) when I had that damn contraceptive implant. FM, I am really beginning to come around to your way of thinking on that. They gave me much more information on its side effects when they removed it - think they could have shared some of that when they put it in!?

Anyway, it was absolutely impossible for me to lose any weight before it came out, although my fitness level did improve. I'm hoping to see some changes now.

My entire life feels like a before photo.

[OldSchoolGirl]

Hey ladies! Moke, I think you should take your phenomenal woman challenge and turn it into a book. I am not joking! I can see you on The Today Show right now!!

My body is a disgusting fat blob, HOWEVER when I find myself hating the way I look, I just start thanking God for the things I have that WORK on my body. I always end up feeling very grateful. "Thank you Lord that I can see, hear, taste. Thank you that I can walk and talk. Thank you that I can breathe without a machine. " etc. There are so many things for us to be grateful for if we are in even halfway decent health, no matter what our outer shells look like.

I know I said this before, but I don't like the way my body looks now (I mean come on, I still weigh 295 pounds) BUT, I do like LOOKING at it now because I see subtle changes in it every week. That's something.

[hereslizz]

Originally Posted by JunkintheTrunk

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I'm taking the same route Liz is - not BFL, but focusing on fitness and hoping the rest falls into place. I'm doing a 10K training programme and I'll see where that takes me, both in terms of fitness and appearance.

Are you going to run in a formal race or is this a personal goal?

I'm finding that I get that "high" from exercising. Runners high. Even though I'm not running but the endorphine rush is the same. I guess that's a good thing since it makes me look forward to working out.

[Skinnymocah]

Great Monday morning, all!


I can't tell you how nice it was to have strawberries and nonfat milk for breakfast! I think I am going to LOVE this new WOE I'm on. Except I forgot my water bottle at home. Grrrrrr. Good thing I've got another here at work !


'spose I could answer my own questions...

How do you define yourself? And how do you fight against negative body image issues?

I guess I'd define myself as a vibrant, funny, introspective woman with a big heart and an optimistic outlook. I grew up with very poor self esteem... I was not a cute child, pre teen, or teenager. In fact I am one of those very late bloomers who get better looking every year (if I may toot my own horn, toot toot). I have found that a good self image and self confidence is SO necessary in today's world! I can't imagine how young girls feel, being bombarded with images of girls their age with perfect hair, makeup, bodies, fashion... sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed, trying to keep up. Beauty does not come naturally for me, it's something I have to strive for and a regimen I have to keep up with. If it weren't for my personal opinion of me, I could easily succumb to depression over my looks, my weight, my form and shape.

That's one of the reasons I wanted to begin this challenge. Feeling pretty is one thing-- feeling desireable is quite yet another. It has as much to do with the mind as it does with the body. For me to think I was desireable 5 weeks ago would have been to be boastful and vain-- and when men approached me I wondered wth was wrong with them-- didn't they see the fat on my thighs and how wide my hips are and my 2nd and 3rd chins? Don't they see the chub in my cheeks? But they weren't looking at what *I* see.

Someone said the other day that they wanted to see themselves the way that others saw them. I think that would be a great goal for all of us.

[senorina]

LOVE Rule # 1! Maybe the hardest to follow , bacause it is such an ingrained habit, but it is a great rule, I will PROMISE to follow it starting now!

I heard something similar years ago, never verbalize a negative thought about yourself. Try it.

[Nancy Pancy]

Originally Posted by Skinnymocah

Someone said the other day that they wanted to see themselves the way that others saw them. I think that would be a great goal for all of us.

I would really like to be able to do this.

[passionfairy]

Good morning ladies

As for my body image? Can you say its the worst ever. I am gaining weight everyday which is making me hate my body even more I know what I need to do but lack the drive. So I was thinking of just giving up and not worrying about what i weigh. So I am taking the batteries out of my scale and putting the evil thing in the closet. I have a DDR for the TV so I will work on doing that. I have some pic taken by hubby in the nude. Can you say gross .I will take pics once a week in underclothes so i can see a difference?

[Skinnymocah]

Full article can be found here.

About-Face facts on BODY IMAGE
Compiled by Liz Dittrich, Ph.D.


Interesting Fact: In 1920, women attained the right to vote. This was also the first year of the Miss America Pageant. (Source: WAC STATS: Facts about women). [i]

Prevalence

A poll conducted by a popular women's magazine found that 75% of women thought they were "too fat" (Glamour,1984). A large scale survey conducted by Garner (1997) found body dissatisfaction to be "increasing at a faster rate than ever before" among both men and women (p. 34). He found that 89% of the 3,452 female respondents wanted to lose weight.

Many women suffer from body dissatisfaction, and assiduous dieting and the relentless pursuit of thinness has become a normative behavior among women in Western society (Rodin, Silberstein & Striegel-Moore,1984). Thinness has not only come to represent attractiveness, but also has come to symbolize success, self-control and higher socioeconomic status. Marketdata Enterprises, Inc. estimated the size of the weight loss industry for 1994 at $32,680 billion.

Body image dissatisfaction and eating disorders are more prevalent among females than males. This gender specificity is apparent in that over 90% of patients with anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa are women (American Psychiatric Association, 1994).

Body image dissatisfaction and dieting behavior isn't restricted to adolescents or adults. In a study of almost five hundred schoolgirls, 81% of the ten-year-olds reported that they had dieted at least once (Mellin, Scully & Irwin, 1986). A study of 36,000 students in Minnesota found that girls with negative body image were three times more likely than boys of the same age, to say that they feel badly about themselves and were more likely to believe that others see them in a negative light. The study also found that negative body image is associated with suicide risk for girls, not for boys (American Association of University Women, 1990).

Wooley and Wooley (1980) found that girls are more influenced and thus more vulnerable to cultural standards of ideal body images, than boys are. A recent national health study, that studied 2,379 9yr and 10 yr old girls (approximately half White and half Black) found that 40 % of them reported that they were trying to lose weight (Striegel-Moore et al, 1996).

Bar-Tal and Sax (1961) found that our culture places a higher value on physical beauty in the evaluation of females than males. Garner, Garfinkel, Schwartz & Thompson (1980), have found that the average size of idealized woman (as portrayed by models), has become progressively thinner and has stabilized at 13-19% below physically expected weight. Rodin, Silberstein, & Striegelmoore (1984), suggest that this thin ideal is unachievable for most women and is likely to lead to feelings of self-devaluation, feelings of dysphoria (depression) and helplessness.

The discontent with one's body shape and size doesn't seem to be confined to White women alone. A survey conducted by the largest African-American women's publication in the U.S. (Essence magazine) served as an eating disorders study. The results from over 2,000 respondents indicated that African American women are at risk for eating disorders in at least equal proportions to their White counterparts. Analysis of the results also revealed that African American women have adopted similar attitudes towards body image, weight and eating to White women (Pumariega, Gustavson, Gustavson, Stone Motes & Ayers, 1994).

Shame seems to be another component of women's attitudes toward their bodies. In a Kinsey survey it was found that women felt more embarrassed when asked about their weight, than when they were asked about their masturbation practices, or occurrences of homosexual affairs (Kinsey et al., 1953).

Women and girls are also consistently taught from an early age that their self-worth is largely dependent on how they look. The fact that women earn more money than men in only two job categories, those of modeling and prostitution serves to illustrate this point (Wolf, 1992).


Consequences

Smoking is a common method of weight loss being used by today's youth, according to Frances Berg, editor/publisher of the Healthy Weight Journal (Berg, 1997). For the first time in history the smoking rate of girls now surpasses that of boys, with the compelling motivation for this behavior being weight control (Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance-US, 1995). Forty percent to 50% of women smokers smoke because they see it as a primary mean to control their weight. Of these women, 25% will die of a disease caused by smoking (Wolf, 1992, p.229; Garner, 1997).

Another common method to lose weight is dieting. Dieting is more common than not dieting, with 95% of the female population having dieted at some time (Polivy & Herman, 1987). Dieting has been as a powerful contributor to dysphoria because of the failure often associated with this type of weight loss method, 95-98% of all dieter regain their weight (Heatherton & Polivy, 1992; Cooke, 1996, p.35). Caloric deprivation experiments have shown to produce depression, anxiety and irritability (Keys, Brozek, Henschel, Mickelsen & Taylor, 1950). A sobering finding is that most bulimics report that the onset of their eating disorder occurred during a period of dieting (Hall & Hay, 1991).

Hill and Pallin (1998) found that among a sample of 8-year-old boys and girls, self-rated dieting in girls was related to low perceived behavioral conduct, low social acceptance and global sense of self worth, even when body weight was controlled for. Self-perception of global self-worth and weight were not significant predictors of self-endorsed dieting for boys, but they were for girls. The study concluded that young girls are drawn to weight-control to improve their self-worth . A strong predictor for both genders dieting awareness was the perception of the mother's dieting when she felt fat.

A study that explored social and economic consequences of overweight found that women who were overweight were 20% less likely to be married at a later point, and had a household income that was $6,710 less than non-overweight women. Overweight men were 11% less likely to get married, yet their income was not significantly different from their non-overweight counterparts (cited in „Exacting Beauty¾, Thompson, Heiberg, Altabe and Tantleff-Dunn, p. 50).

[senorina]

You know, I was happy to have said something about looking in the mirror that resonated with Moke. It is those little tidbits that resonate with you that work miracles in your attitude and your life.

For me, the biggest "resonating thing" that changed my outlook was those black girls.

I am forever indebted to them.

Moke, what you just posted reminded me of them.

Oh boy, guess I have to tell you about them now. Its a little secret that I don't know if I've ever told anyone about, it was just so personal to me.

Anyway - I took a study, that asked who whould you choose to look like if you could pick anyone in the world. Have no memory of my answer, but probably someone who looked like Catherine Zeta Jones.

The results of the study were published, and about 99 % of (high school) girls picked a supermodel or actress that was very thin and beautiful.

Except black girls.

About 99% of the black girls in the study said.....








Myself.







Oh...my....God.


I was blown away.


I couldn't get that thought out of my mind for weeks. I would choose to look like Myself. How awesome that must be. How empowering.

And I chose to make that my true answer, in my heart and mind, Myself is who I would choose to look like.



(I am enough. We are enough.)

[Nancy Pancy]

Originally Posted by senorina

Myself.







Oh...my....God.


I was blown away.


I couldn't get that thought out of my mind for weeks. I would choose to look like Myself. How awesome that must be. How empowering.

And I chose to make that my true answer, in my heart and mind, Myself is who I would choose to look like.



(I am enough. We are enough.)

Thank you. This is wonderful.

[Skinnymocah]

Wow. That is pretty amazing! Yay little girls!

[senorina]

Well, don't forget, I was in high school in the 70s.

I still think to this day...how did their community/family/upbringing/ do that?

I hope its still true.

[Nancy Pancy]

Here is something for you.


Purple Hats!

In honor of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer. Here is an angel sent to watch over you. Pass this on to five women that you want watched over. If you don't know five women to pass this on to, one will do just fine.




IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck

(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.


Send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends. Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier. Please send this to five phenomenal women today in celebration of Beautiful Women's Month. If you do, something good will happen: you will boost another woman's self esteem.
__________________