Mid-Life Crisis At 22?

StephanieRaye · 04-28-2005, 02:48 PM

Is this possible?

It's exactly what I feel like is going on with me. A little history:

I'll be 23 in July, but I've been married for 5 1/2 years. I married at 17 with my mother's consent. So alot of the time I feel like I should act older that what I am.
My husband and I are real estate agents. We work as a team and have been for 11 months. We recently left labor/clerical night jobs to pursue full time real estate. In order to do this, we cashed out some of our equity ($14,000)2-3 months ago. We now have $700 and no leads. We have one closing that will bring us around $1500 in May, but nothing going on other than that.
We don't have children yet, but I'm dying to start trying. Unfortunately it would be a JOKE if we decided to now.
I've come to the board looking for answers/suggestions. I suddenly have found myself in a real pickle and am seriously depressed because of the money spent on real estate advertising, etc....and no return. I have had thoughts recently that maybe real estate isn't the career for me. So, today I've applied online for student aid, just to see what I can get.
Career change is a scary thing but I really feel like if you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing in life, that you "feel" it... and I don't.

BigRed · 04-28-2005, 03:22 PM

I wish I had something good to tell you, but I don't... I thought about going into Real Estate and asked alot of questions of different relaters, one of them was, "since this is a commissioned based business, how long should I expect before I make my first sale." and they told me it would be about 2 years before I would be able to feel secure in the money coming in verses the money going out...(due to doing your own advertising).

But if this is what you are supposed to do, then just keep making friends and asking them to tell thier friends about you.

and good luck!

djalomo · 04-28-2005, 10:39 PM

Wow, I clicked on this thread expecting to read something completely different. I finished college when I was 23 and immediately had what a lot of people the past few years are starting to call the "quarter-life crisis." It was a REALLY, really difficult time for me adjusting from being a "kid" to being a young single professiona and trying to break into the industry I'm in. It was HARD and very very depressing. I spent a few months in a very dark place worndering, god! -- if this isn't *supposed* to be what I'm supposed to do, then what is? Where do I go from here? Especially after spending time and energy over 5 years in college on a certain path. The uncertainty killed me.

Also, I felt (and still, at 25, a lot of times do still feel) like my life isn't validated by a lot of people out here in TX because I'm too single/not single enough, too successful/not succesful enough, too happy/not happy enough etc. for my age. I think your early and mid-20s are hard because there's a lot of advice coming to you from a lot of people who've been there and done that. It's hard to know where you really want to be, and where you "measure up." I think "measuring up" is less important to me than it is to other people, but still, my standards for myself and my career are high. And I think relationship-wise I know where I want to and don't want to be at this point, but still, people offer advice that's contrary all the time (without my asking)...

I don't know if that helps, I just wanted to offer

and let you know, YES, the quarter-life crisis is very real and you're not alone. But you are very, very young -- you still have time to figure things out.

Mushmush · 04-29-2005, 01:06 PM

No, honey, it's not a mid-life crisis (lucky you

). Mid-life crisis is when you wake-up one day and realize that half of you life is over, and, unfortunately, it was probably the best half of it. And then you start thinking about everything you wanted to achieve in your life and realize that you haven't done half of it, that, sadly, you are not a genius, but an ordinary Joe/Jane. Usually, at this point in life men start paying more attention to their young secretaries whereas women... I don't know, I have a mid-life crisis right now and I am simply depressed.

Seriously, good luck with your real estate or other endeavors, you are still a a baby.

Sasha

Lehgrad · 04-29-2005, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djalomo

Wow, I clicked on this thread expecting to read something completely different. I finished college when I was 23 and immediately had what a lot of people the past few years are starting to call the "quarter-life crisis." It was a REALLY, really difficult time for me adjusting from being a "kid" to being a young single professiona and trying to break into the industry I'm in. It was HARD and very very depressing. I spent a few months in a very dark place worndering, god! -- if this isn't *supposed* to be what I'm supposed to do, then what is? Where do I go from here? Especially after spending time and energy over 5 years in college on a certain path. The uncertainty killed me.

OMG!!!! ME TOO!!!!! I'm 23 and I'm in a serious 'quarter life' crisis right now.
I feel like I'm 'stuck'. I don't have any idea what I am doing with my life right now... there is nothing that I'm waiting for. Sometimes I get wicked depressed thinking about it.
When in junior high you look forward to high school, in high school you look forward to college, in college you look forward to graduating and being an 'adult'. But then you graduate and NOW WHAT????? Things were always so planned out and easy. I contemplate life all the friggin' time.
I can't get myself to move either. I want out just for a little while but I don't know how.
Mushmush - that is how I feel NOW! I feel like I have wasted the first part of my life and now I don't have the opportunity to get it back. Ugh.

djalomo · 04-29-2005, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lehgrad

I feel like I'm 'stuck'. I don't have any idea what I am doing with my life right now... there is nothing that I'm waiting for. Sometimes I get wicked depressed thinking about it.

LOL, I know -- isn't it crazy?!

I go through periods of time still where I feel "stuck." I love my job, but I think "gee, what's next?" Sometimes I feel like I'll need something really life-altering to happen to me to "kick start" me again. I know I want to move to a more urban city pretty soon, but there's just nothing in me really pursuing it. I got a few good job offers last year in NJ and Seattle, both places I would consider moving, but just didn't pursue them for some unknown reason. And I know I want to get an MBA...but again...just haven't pursued it.

It's like in my life I'm in a really comfortable rut...but is a comfortable rut where I want to be at 25??

Fairy Belle · 04-30-2005, 10:04 AM

My suggestion would be to see a career counselor. You are at an age where you have the time and opportunity to experience several different careers. Don't view your time in real estate as a waste. View it as a learning experience!

Good Luck!

JRo · 04-30-2005, 11:56 AM

This sounds all too familiar. I went through the quarter-life crisis last year myself - it was horrible, I was really depressed and anxious and confused, not knowing what to do with my life or how to get out of the situation I was in.
I think it's something we all go through in our mid-20s. I have had many relationships ruined because my boyfriend needed that time to himself to figure things out. We have more options and choices in this generation than previous generations, but it makes life overwhelming and scary at the same time. You feel the pressure to commit to a life path but you don't have the information to do it.
Here are a few thoughts that might help:
- very few decisions are irreversible. It's ok to try things and make mistakes. I made a mistake about the graduate school I picked, so I left and started a new life, and it worked out really well.
- There's really no such thing as a "perfect" path for you. Some are better than others, but there will always be challenges.
- I think you're only sort of right about the feeling that what you are "supposed" to be doing will come. Talk to your parents and people in their generation. Most of them are in their careers because they made the best of the options available to them, not because of a feeling of true calling. If you're really unhappy, you made need to step back from it all.
- EVERYONE goes through it, you're completely normal, and you will get through it.
- you were married young, that can be difficult especially if you know a lot of single people. If it's any consolation, it sucks to be single too sometimes!

- sometimes just doing a few things different can help with how you're feeling. Shake things up a little bit - can you afford to take a class or join an outdoors club? It might help to make some new friends and try something different.

Hugs to you and everyone else going through this. It's horrid and I think we're the only ones who understand!

StephanieRaye · 04-30-2005, 12:23 PM

Thanks everyone for you comments. Now I don't feel like I'm the only one going through this!
I just need to find that one thing that gets me back on track. I'm normally so good about seeing the world as a "glass half full". I need motivation to do something. To work with what I have.
Financial problems really bring out alot of emotions and thoughts that I didn't even know were going on inside of me. I feel like a child on the inside sometimes, but with all these adult problems and adult bills.
Sometimes, don't you just wish that the answers would just fall from the sky?

Lori · 04-30-2005, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StephanieRaye

Sometimes, don't you just wish that the answers would just fall from the sky?

I'd prefer that money fall from the sky.

Lehgrad · 05-02-2005, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djalomo

It's like in my life I'm in a really comfortable rut...but is a comfortable rut where I want to be at 25??

I hate the comfortable rut!!!

JadeRosie - Thanks for the advice!!

04-28-2005, 02:48 PM	#1
StephanieRaye Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 473 Gallery: StephanieRaye Stats: 255/225/150 Start Date: Oct 2003	Mid-Life Crisis At 22? Is this possible? It's exactly what I feel like is going on with me. A little history: I'll be 23 in July, but I've been married for 5 1/2 years. I married at 17 with my mother's consent. So alot of the time I feel like I should act older that what I am. My husband and I are real estate agents. We work as a team and have been for 11 months. We recently left labor/clerical night jobs to pursue full time real estate. In order to do this, we cashed out some of our equity ($14,000)2-3 months ago. We now have $700 and no leads. We have one closing that will bring us around $1500 in May, but nothing going on other than that. We don't have children yet, but I'm dying to start trying. Unfortunately it would be a JOKE if we decided to now. I've come to the board looking for answers/suggestions. I suddenly have found myself in a real pickle and am seriously depressed because of the money spent on real estate advertising, etc....and no return. I have had thoughts recently that maybe real estate isn't the career for me. So, today I've applied online for student aid, just to see what I can get. Career change is a scary thing but I really feel like if you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing in life, that you "feel" it... and I don't. __________________ Stephanie

04-28-2005, 10:39 PM	#3
djalomo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 13,769 Gallery: djalomo Stats: 132/ getting there! /110 WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 2004	Wow, I clicked on this thread expecting to read something completely different. I finished college when I was 23 and immediately had what a lot of people the past few years are starting to call the "quarter-life crisis." It was a REALLY, really difficult time for me adjusting from being a "kid" to being a young single professiona and trying to break into the industry I'm in. It was HARD and very very depressing. I spent a few months in a very dark place worndering, god! -- if this isn't supposed to be what I'm supposed to do, then what is? Where do I go from here? Especially after spending time and energy over 5 years in college on a certain path. The uncertainty killed me. Also, I felt (and still, at 25, a lot of times do still feel) like my life isn't validated by a lot of people out here in TX because I'm too single/not single enough, too successful/not succesful enough, too happy/not happy enough etc. for my age. I think your early and mid-20s are hard because there's a lot of advice coming to you from a lot of people who've been there and done that. It's hard to know where you really want to be, and where you "measure up." I think "measuring up" is less important to me than it is to other people, but still, my standards for myself and my career are high. And I think relationship-wise I know where I want to and don't want to be at this point, but still, people offer advice that's contrary all the time (without my asking)... I don't know if that helps, I just wanted to offer and let you know, YES, the quarter-life crisis is very real and you're not alone. But you are very, very young -- you still have time to figure things out. __________________ boo.

04-30-2005, 11:56 AM	#8
JRo Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: District of Columbia Posts: 13,277 Gallery: JRo Stats: 205/190/125 WOE: atkins Start Date: August 2008	This sounds all too familiar. I went through the quarter-life crisis last year myself - it was horrible, I was really depressed and anxious and confused, not knowing what to do with my life or how to get out of the situation I was in. I think it's something we all go through in our mid-20s. I have had many relationships ruined because my boyfriend needed that time to himself to figure things out. We have more options and choices in this generation than previous generations, but it makes life overwhelming and scary at the same time. You feel the pressure to commit to a life path but you don't have the information to do it. Here are a few thoughts that might help: - very few decisions are irreversible. It's ok to try things and make mistakes. I made a mistake about the graduate school I picked, so I left and started a new life, and it worked out really well. - There's really no such thing as a "perfect" path for you. Some are better than others, but there will always be challenges. - I think you're only sort of right about the feeling that what you are "supposed" to be doing will come. Talk to your parents and people in their generation. Most of them are in their careers because they made the best of the options available to them, not because of a feeling of true calling. If you're really unhappy, you made need to step back from it all. - EVERYONE goes through it, you're completely normal, and you will get through it. - you were married young, that can be difficult especially if you know a lot of single people. If it's any consolation, it sucks to be single too sometimes! - sometimes just doing a few things different can help with how you're feeling. Shake things up a little bit - can you afford to take a class or join an outdoors club? It might help to make some new friends and try something different. Hugs to you and everyone else going through this. It's horrid and I think we're the only ones who understand! __________________ Rosie, age 28, 5'5"

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04-28-2005, 03:22 PM	#2
BigRed MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: East Coast Posts: 2,896 Gallery: BigRed	I wish I had something good to tell you, but I don't... I thought about going into Real Estate and asked alot of questions of different relaters, one of them was, "since this is a commissioned based business, how long should I expect before I make my first sale." and they told me it would be about 2 years before I would be able to feel secure in the money coming in verses the money going out...(due to doing your own advertising). But if this is what you are supposed to do, then just keep making friends and asking them to tell thier friends about you. and good luck!

04-29-2005, 01:06 PM	#4
Mushmush MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: NJ Posts: 1,272 Gallery: Mushmush Stats: 172/135/132 WOE: WW Start Date: 1/7/2007 (Start WW)	No, honey, it's not a mid-life crisis (lucky you ). Mid-life crisis is when you wake-up one day and realize that half of you life is over, and, unfortunately, it was probably the best half of it. And then you start thinking about everything you wanted to achieve in your life and realize that you haven't done half of it, that, sadly, you are not a genius, but an ordinary Joe/Jane. Usually, at this point in life men start paying more attention to their young secretaries whereas women... I don't know, I have a mid-life crisis right now and I am simply depressed. Seriously, good luck with your real estate or other endeavors, you are still a a baby. Sasha

04-30-2005, 10:04 AM	#7
Fairy Belle Senior LCF Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Away From Home Posts: 379 Gallery: Fairy Belle	My suggestion would be to see a career counselor. You are at an age where you have the time and opportunity to experience several different careers. Don't view your time in real estate as a waste. View it as a learning experience! Good Luck!

04-30-2005, 12:23 PM	#9
StephanieRaye Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 473 Gallery: StephanieRaye Stats: 255/225/150 Start Date: Oct 2003	Thanks everyone for you comments. Now I don't feel like I'm the only one going through this! I just need to find that one thing that gets me back on track. I'm normally so good about seeing the world as a "glass half full". I need motivation to do something. To work with what I have. Financial problems really bring out alot of emotions and thoughts that I didn't even know were going on inside of me. I feel like a child on the inside sometimes, but with all these adult problems and adult bills. Sometimes, don't you just wish that the answers would just fall from the sky?