Do you remember me?

pipersfancy · 04-28-2005, 08:57 AM

I'd guess it's been about a year since I last posted. A lot has happened.

I feel mixed emotions as I write. I am truly blessed, and my heart feels joyfully uplifted when I contemplate the many gifts I have received! Yet, at the same time, my sense of pride burdens me when I think of asking for help. I constantly ask for God's help, and I know it is only through God's grace that I have seen the many miracles and blessings possible in this life... however, we all live in this mortal world, and it is difficult to ask for physical assistance from others.

I am experiencing a time of great darkness in my life, and although I believe all things in this life are temporary, save God, my troubles appear endless.

In August of 2000, I entered into a process of individual counselling in an effort to save my marriage. What I learned was that violence is not a part of love and that for the sake of my children and myself, the marriage needed to end. I have been engaged in that process ever since. The cost has been high; both emotionally and financially.

I thought the worst was behind me when, in April 2003 following a 6-day custody trial, I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my two children. However, I have learned that even court orders are open to interpretation. Given his parenting time, my former husband has successfully blocked the way for my children and I to spend any time with my family of origin in Winnipeg, Canada. He, however, has had no limitations placed on him during his parenting time, and has traveled extensively with the children during his court ordered summer vacation time; disappearing for 3-4 weeks with the children every summer and leaving no contact information for me.

In December 2004, my mother, after declining in health for over a year and being unable to travel to Minnesota where the children and I reside, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Being her only immediate family, I made arrangements to travel to Winnipeg. My children had previously been scheduled to spend Christmas with their father, so my arrangements were not anticipated to be disruptive to their schedule. I was further relieved to hear from my attorney that my former husband had contacted her to let me know he could watch the children throughout my family crisis.

My mother underwent brain surgery on January 5, 2005. She suffered a massive stroke as a complication of surgery, and her underlying prognosis was poor. The type of brain cancer she was found to have was agressive, malignant, and deemed untreatable by her medical team. She was given between one and three months to live. After much thought and prayer, I called my employer to tell her I needed to extend my stay in Winnipeg to be with my mother during this time. We jointly made the decision that it would be best for the private practice where I worked if another therapist could be found to fill my position. Having no income also necessitated my giving up the apartment where my children and I had been living. My mother died March 8, 2005.

In mid-January, I learned that my children's father had filed a motion with the court asking that I be charged with abandonment, and that my custody be overturned. We have since been to court three times on this issue, and thankfully, to this point my sole custody has not been revoked although the children have not been allowed to join me in Canada. The court has stopped all child support payments to me because the children are physically residing with their father, however I am still held responsible to make daycare payments, and medical payments. My case has been heard by the Appelate Court of Minnesota, but there has been no ruling yet. The lower court has set the matter for a new trial in June of this year.

While visiting my children here in Minnesota over their spring break in March, I learned from my son's daycare provider that he has confided in another child that he wants to kill himself and is only waiting until he is older to do so. (My son is 5.) Upon hearing this, I made quick arrangements to return to Minnesota to try and take care of this and other pressing needs of my children. My attorney warned me that, although I have now returned and reestablished the current court order regarding my sole custodial role, that I may still be found in contempt of court and charged with neglect and child endangerment because I left the country, leaving my children behind for a time.

I do not regret the decision I made to stay with my mother for the duration of her illness. However, I am now needing to sort through the aftermath. I have no source of income, and have not had any success in locating part-time employment since my return. I am living on my mother's small life insurance monies, and the generosity of a friend who has offered the children and I a place to live through the end of the school year. My mother's affairs have not yet been settled; I have not even been able to see her ashes laid to rest yet. I owe enormous amounts of money to three different attorneys, my most recent attorney having withdrawn from my case yesterday due to lack of payment.

I am learning what it means to lay everything before God, as my life and these circumstances are most certainly beyond my control. I open myself to receiving whatever help, support and love that God sends to me.

Christina

Mair · 04-28-2005, 10:17 AM

Christina, I was just thinking of you at the first of this week. I am so glad you checked in. I have thought of you and your children often and have followed your saga over time. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I am also sorry that your custody battles are still going on. I truly hope you find peace soon. Please keep us updated.

Ishtar · 04-28-2005, 03:55 PM

Christina, I'm so sorry to hear of the troubles you have been having. I hope things pull together for you and your children. If there is any material way I can help, let me know. In the meantime, I will be praying for you.

gettingstrength · 05-01-2005, 10:43 PM

JunkintheTrunk · 05-02-2005, 01:20 AM

Christina, I remember you well (I used to post as Jen here) and have thought of you often. I'm sorry to hear this - you have certainly shouldered more than your share of trouble. Does your ex-husband not have a single shred of decency? I'm sorry for the loss of your mother - I know how terrible it is.

04-28-2005, 08:57 AM	#1
pipersfancy MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: 40 miles away from my ex!!! Posts: 1,327 Gallery: pipersfancy	Do you remember me? I'd guess it's been about a year since I last posted. A lot has happened. I feel mixed emotions as I write. I am truly blessed, and my heart feels joyfully uplifted when I contemplate the many gifts I have received! Yet, at the same time, my sense of pride burdens me when I think of asking for help. I constantly ask for God's help, and I know it is only through God's grace that I have seen the many miracles and blessings possible in this life... however, we all live in this mortal world, and it is difficult to ask for physical assistance from others. I am experiencing a time of great darkness in my life, and although I believe all things in this life are temporary, save God, my troubles appear endless. In August of 2000, I entered into a process of individual counselling in an effort to save my marriage. What I learned was that violence is not a part of love and that for the sake of my children and myself, the marriage needed to end. I have been engaged in that process ever since. The cost has been high; both emotionally and financially. I thought the worst was behind me when, in April 2003 following a 6-day custody trial, I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my two children. However, I have learned that even court orders are open to interpretation. Given his parenting time, my former husband has successfully blocked the way for my children and I to spend any time with my family of origin in Winnipeg, Canada. He, however, has had no limitations placed on him during his parenting time, and has traveled extensively with the children during his court ordered summer vacation time; disappearing for 3-4 weeks with the children every summer and leaving no contact information for me. In December 2004, my mother, after declining in health for over a year and being unable to travel to Minnesota where the children and I reside, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Being her only immediate family, I made arrangements to travel to Winnipeg. My children had previously been scheduled to spend Christmas with their father, so my arrangements were not anticipated to be disruptive to their schedule. I was further relieved to hear from my attorney that my former husband had contacted her to let me know he could watch the children throughout my family crisis. My mother underwent brain surgery on January 5, 2005. She suffered a massive stroke as a complication of surgery, and her underlying prognosis was poor. The type of brain cancer she was found to have was agressive, malignant, and deemed untreatable by her medical team. She was given between one and three months to live. After much thought and prayer, I called my employer to tell her I needed to extend my stay in Winnipeg to be with my mother during this time. We jointly made the decision that it would be best for the private practice where I worked if another therapist could be found to fill my position. Having no income also necessitated my giving up the apartment where my children and I had been living. My mother died March 8, 2005. In mid-January, I learned that my children's father had filed a motion with the court asking that I be charged with abandonment, and that my custody be overturned. We have since been to court three times on this issue, and thankfully, to this point my sole custody has not been revoked although the children have not been allowed to join me in Canada. The court has stopped all child support payments to me because the children are physically residing with their father, however I am still held responsible to make daycare payments, and medical payments. My case has been heard by the Appelate Court of Minnesota, but there has been no ruling yet. The lower court has set the matter for a new trial in June of this year. While visiting my children here in Minnesota over their spring break in March, I learned from my son's daycare provider that he has confided in another child that he wants to kill himself and is only waiting until he is older to do so. (My son is 5.) Upon hearing this, I made quick arrangements to return to Minnesota to try and take care of this and other pressing needs of my children. My attorney warned me that, although I have now returned and reestablished the current court order regarding my sole custodial role, that I may still be found in contempt of court and charged with neglect and child endangerment because I left the country, leaving my children behind for a time. I do not regret the decision I made to stay with my mother for the duration of her illness. However, I am now needing to sort through the aftermath. I have no source of income, and have not had any success in locating part-time employment since my return. I am living on my mother's small life insurance monies, and the generosity of a friend who has offered the children and I a place to live through the end of the school year. My mother's affairs have not yet been settled; I have not even been able to see her ashes laid to rest yet. I owe enormous amounts of money to three different attorneys, my most recent attorney having withdrawn from my case yesterday due to lack of payment. I am learning what it means to lay everything before God, as my life and these circumstances are most certainly beyond my control. I open myself to receiving whatever help, support and love that God sends to me. Christina

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04-28-2005, 10:17 AM	#2
Mair Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 5,014 Gallery: Mair	Christina, I was just thinking of you at the first of this week. I am so glad you checked in. I have thought of you and your children often and have followed your saga over time. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I am also sorry that your custody battles are still going on. I truly hope you find peace soon. Please keep us updated.

04-28-2005, 03:55 PM	#3
Ishtar Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Stop looking over here. Just read my post! Posts: 8,303 Gallery: Ishtar Stats: 242/242/175 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 1/5/04	Christina, I'm so sorry to hear of the troubles you have been having. I hope things pull together for you and your children. If there is any material way I can help, let me know. In the meantime, I will be praying for you.

05-01-2005, 10:43 PM	#4
gettingstrength Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Tennessee Posts: 9,523 Gallery: gettingstrength Stats: 184 / 170 / ? WOE: atkins Start Date: 6 / 1 / 2002

05-02-2005, 01:20 AM	#5
JunkintheTrunk Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 7,995 Gallery: JunkintheTrunk	Christina, I remember you well (I used to post as Jen here) and have thought of you often. I'm sorry to hear this - you have certainly shouldered more than your share of trouble. Does your ex-husband not have a single shred of decency? I'm sorry for the loss of your mother - I know how terrible it is.