Rollie

[Angel2Drew]

I wish you had not deleted your thread, but here I hope this helps...


Okay sweetie, I understand your frustration, I do not think you are a bad parent, I just think you are making some bad choices. I really want to try and help you, because I know what you are going through.Lets start this way.....

What are his chorus?
Does he have a set time for homework and if so what time?

Let me make some suggestions please try this....

Make a chart of the work he is to do around the house. A calendar works great. Make one that has two weeks of work on it. Every time he completes a task but a star beside the completed task. If he completes half or over for the two weeks reward him. If not don't say anything. Let him know before hand what the reward will be. I have even gotten the girls a fav toy and set it where they could see it, but they knew they could not have it unless they completed there task. A major point here. Do not feed any attention to undone task. act as though it does not matter. Some children will take any attention good or bad, so just act like it is no big deal, but do not no matter what give him the reward unless he completes the tasks.

Call his teachers and set up a conference and ask that a school counselor attend the meeting. Ask the teacher to make sure he records all the work in his book and also give them your E-mail address, most all teachers have E-mails. I know before I started home schooling my girls, I could go on the school website and they had all home work listed.
Set aside an hour a day for home work. My girls had to do their work as soon as they had their snack. Even if they did not have home work they still had a study hour, to study for up coming test or just to read. Make sure in that hour you are there if he needs help.
If I were you I would also ask that he be tested for a learning disability. It is the law if a parent request it that they have to conduct the test with in 30 days.

Pray for him and if your in a church ask your pastor if he can counsel you guys as a family. Please E-mail me if you need to talk. Angel2Drew@aol.com

You are going to have to find a common ground, there is something that works, you just have to keep trying until you find it.

[CarolinaRocker]

Rolley,

I was typing on your thread too before you deleted it...I dont think you are the worst parent either...you are frustrated and trying a desperate measure.

I hope I didnt hurt your feelings...I and many others were merely offering some helpful advice...I have been in your shoes so I know how frustrating it is. The whole homework and lying thing...My son was being bullied at school...the teachers didnt know it...he didnt tell us and this went on for a year until he brought it up in a family meeting one night. Things have changed since then. We stood behind him and changed school policy...now he seems like a much happier kid.

Tell him you are ditching that plan and you want to see him succeed without going to extremes. Ask him what he thinks it would take.

Kids need to know that WE as parents screw up too, so apologize for some of the things you did in frustration...Tell him its OK to screw up....but lets find a better way....then ask for his input on what HE thinks. It gives him some control over his destiny.

In my opinion...family meetings are a great time to discuss issues, but be open and listen...you might hear whats going on...even if he doesnt come right out and say it.

And if you still cant get through...get some help...after all we ALL need some help...thats why we are here....Kids dont have that luxury and if they did, they probably wouldnt know how to explain it anyway.

I wish you success.