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Old 06-26-2012, 03:01 PM   #1
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So tired of losing and gaining :(

I'm back, again... I lost count how many times I started and stopped and started and stopped.
It seems that when I stop posting on LCF I stop eating low carb and gain gain gain, only to crawl back heavier and ask for support. I think this time I'll make it a point to check in or at least lurk once a week to keep myself on track.

I lost 75 lbs the first time doing Atkins (2002) and 60 lbs the second time (2010). With numerous attempts with 10-20 lb losses in between and after. I am sooo tired of "trying". I'm just going to suck it up and do it already.
I'm back at 240lbs and miserable. My clothes are tight and I feel horrible about myself. I have 5 year old twins that deserve a mommy that is so much more active then I am. They are starting school in Sept. and I don't want to be the biggest mommy at the bus stop .

So HI I'm Maja and I'm here to stay
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Maja

"The only way you can fail to reach your goal, is to stop before you get there.".... unknown

Proud mommy to twins, Matthew and Victoria .
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Old 06-26-2012, 09:00 PM   #2
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I can totally relate!! I am in the same boat...well except my children are grown.
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Old 06-27-2012, 06:23 AM   #3
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Also In the same boat .. lost 80 lbs gain it back and yo yo for last few years.

I was at my heaviest when restarted on May 2 2012 255 lbs. I have since lost 35 lbs.. another 20 and back in onderland..

One meal at a time... I would love to cheer you on

deb
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Old 06-27-2012, 07:08 AM   #4
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Hello, I have lost and gained about 15 times in my life. Back on plan since June 10. I am older now, so I lose soooooooooooo much slower, but I am sticking with it! Good luck to you, too!
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Old 06-27-2012, 08:18 AM   #5
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Hello, I have lost and gained about 15 times in my life. Back on plan since June 10. I am older now, so I lose soooooooooooo much slower, but I am sticking with it! Good luck to you, too!
I've notice as I'm older it's real slow ....
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Old 06-27-2012, 09:04 AM   #6
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Deb I used to eat LOTS, never counted calories, ate cheese, guzzled diet soda, whipped cream, etc. Now those things stall me big time. I have truly ruined my metabolism by yo yo ing. I don't let the scale rule me now. I just keep on plan because I feel so much better when I do not eat carbs and once in a while my scale rewards me.
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Old 06-27-2012, 10:07 AM   #7
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Thanks for the encouragement
Today I avoided pancakes at breakfast and pigs in the blanket for lunch. Kiddos enjoyed their food though .
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Old 06-27-2012, 10:38 AM   #8
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Hi Maja and welcome! I think most of us here fully understand where you are coming from. This is my 2nd attempt at Atkins, but believe me, I tried every other diet known to mankind before this time.

It's hard to get into the right mindset to really lose weight and keep it off long term. I'd like to think that I am finally there, but it took a lot of effort to get here. I am 49 years old and my kids are grown, but I had to raise them on my own without any support from anyone. As a result, I put so much of myself into raising my kids that I neglected my own needs. I wasn't over eating, but I had bad eating habits...such as skipping breakfast every day, eating the wrong foods, and eating late at night before going to bed. I also didn't take care of myself health wise either...I hated doctors and refused to go to one unless I was practically on my death bed. Mostly I hated doctors because I didn't want to hear the truth. Too, I felt for many years that the reason I felt so tired all of the time and had gained so much weight was because of my thyroid. (Thyroid disease runs pretty strong in my family, and I was never an over eater so I knew something had to be up with that!) The two times I did see in a doctor in a 10 year period, my blood work showed that my thyroid was normal. I didn't know until later that they weren't doing the right test for the type of thyroid disease that I have, so I just gave up. In 2009 I was bitten by a spider on my leg and became seriously ill...I almost lost my leg. While in the hospital, I learned I was diabetic too so I made up my mind to take my medicine like a good girl and get over my extreme dislike for doctors, and to keep every appointment that they made for me. I still knew something was up with my thyroid though, so I stayed after my general practioner until she finally agreed to send me to an endocrinologist last fall. Finally, I got a good diagnosis on my thyroid and I started medication this past January. Since I made my mind up to get over my feelings about doctors nearly 2 1/2 years ago, I'm finally on track. When I started my medication in January I decided then that I was out of excuses and it was time to get serious about losing weight and getting my blood sugar and thyroid under control. For the first time in my life, I'm taking care of ME.

The reason I'm telling you that is because you mentioned having 5 year old twins, so I know you are busy, busy, busy and that as a Mom, I'm sure you put your kids first in everything you do. I did that too, to the point that I could barely function from being exhausted all the time. I love my kids more than anything in the world but I can recall times that I didn't want to go to one or more of their functions at school because I felt so huge, or because I was so tired, etc. I did it, but I was always uncomfortable. If I had only done what I should have done for me, I could have been a better Mom to them than I was. I remember being so physically drained that I couldn't even get through the grocery shopping without having to sit down and take a break. I remember leaning on the grocery cart just to have something to help hold me up! After my oldest son got his driver's license, I found myself sending HIM to the store for most of the shopping. What I wouldn't give to take all of those times back now, for him and for me!

I hope maybe something I have said will help you to find the right place mentally and emotionally for you to find success this time. My Dad died 8 years ago but before he passed, he told me that he wanted me to go see a doctor. I promised him I would...I did...and now I'm finally getting better, in every way I can. I just wish he was here to see me doing better and trying so hard. The right mindset is everything when you want something bad enough. I started 2010 at 485 lbs., now I'm just 20 lbs. away from being out of the 400's. I never ever thought for a single minute of my life that I would be that big.

YOU can do this, and I can too! Lurk, jump in, have fun, and know that I'm on your side!
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:49 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by ebeads View Post
Deb I used to eat LOTS, never counted calories, ate cheese, guzzled diet soda, whipped cream, etc. Now those things stall me big time. I have truly ruined my metabolism by yo yo ing. I don't let the scale rule me now. I just keep on plan because I feel so much better when I do not eat carbs and once in a while my scale rewards me.
Hopefully we can correct a bit of our metabolism .. Feeling better is a huge plus
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:48 PM   #10
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JudyMS, thank you soo much for sharing your story with me. Congratulations on your great weight loss so far. You're absolutely right, we can do this .

I can relate to so many points in your story. My twins were born at 29 weeks and spend a long time in the NICU. The first year is still a blur for me. My DH works crazy hours so I'm in mommy mode 24/7 and for the past 5 years I totally neglected "me". I have bad eating habbits as well, plus I'm an emotional eater.
I hate dr's as well, the only reason I go to my gyn is because we're trying for another baby. I have PCOS so chances of another baby are slim. But I keep those appts to get my Metformin prescription.

My kiddos start school in September so that will give me time to get "me" back. I'm planning on making some dr's appts. I haven't had basic blood work done in years. Even though most of it came back normal, other then the PCOS.
I'm also planning on exercising more, since my "no time because of kids" excuse is not going to fly anymore.

You are so right that we have to be in the right mind frame mentally and emotionally to get this weight off and keep it off.
I really hope this is it for me
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:20 PM   #11
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Just had to add my two cents. I also had a huge fear of going to the doctor. I didn't go for 10 years and finally had to break down because I could hardly walk. Found out that I needed a hip replacement - arthritis had it down to bone on bone. While there, they did all the usual tests and found out I had uterine cancer. Thankfully, a hysterectomy got it all and I've now been "all clear" for almost a year. Plus the hip replacement gave me back my mobility. But if that hip hadn't gotten so bad, I would have lost my life because I didn't want a doctor to weigh me! That is just sad.

I have been up and down on the scale to the tune of 100s of pounds for the last 40 years. The cancer scare and the joint scare put it all out there in black and white for me. If I want to live until I retire and then be able to enjoy my retirement, I have to do this...FOR ME. I haven't made any huge strides yet, but I have not strayed off the plan for seven weeks now and dropped 12 pounds. You guys are sooooo right about it taking forever when you get older. But I'm looking at the big picture down the road. I will NEVER start over again. I'll never carry those 12 pounds around again. And in another seven weeks, I will have lost another 12...at least. By then, I'll be wearing some of my smaller clothes that I've hung onto for all these years. Thank the Lord that jeans never go out of style.

So we're all here for each other and we all need each other to keep our focus. We will win this fight - no exceptions, no holds barred, no giving up, no backing down. WE WILL WIN...TOGETHER!!
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Old 06-27-2012, 02:42 PM   #12
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iminit4me, I'm so glad you went to the dr when you did and that you're all clear of the cancer and got a hip replacement. I'm sure you'll be enjoying wearing your smaller clothes in no time . I totally agree with you, we will win...together .

I'm dreading going to the dr. I know I need to go to a dermatologist, my best friend had skin cancer and when she saw one of my spots, she said I should get it looked at because it looked suspicious.
I also need to go to a general dr because a few months I found a lump under my arm, it went away so I'm sure it's nothing, but I guess I should mention it when I have my appt.
At least I'm good with going to the dentist . I hate the dentist, but I like the one I go to now and love his staff so I suck it up and go every 6 months.

Last edited by Maja; 06-27-2012 at 02:44 PM..
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Old 07-02-2012, 05:04 AM   #13
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I started a Journal on this site, I figure if I need to check in I'll be more likely to stay on plan
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