300+ Support Group~NO FOOLIN' LET'S GET MOVIN'!~APRIL 2012

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by Oksue

Deb.....don't let his graduation pass by just because they haven't invited you. Do what they are doing. Do your own thing for the kids. Invite them over and cook his favorite foods and have a wonderful graduation cake and gift. Deb...there is no place like mom and dad's. Do your own thing. Don't wait on an invitation from them. If you are not into cooking just have Chewie come fix it and have Lony come bake the cake!!! LOL! NO.....take them out to a really special place.
It's sad her parents are like that but some day it will bite them in the butt. Just have fun planning something special that only a mom could do for her son!!! He will love you for it.

Hi to all.....it has been a busy day so I will say good night to all.

Would love to.

[chewiegand]

DS13's foot will be fine. He now has 3 of the giant horsepill antibiotics in his system. The special wrap they gave us really helps. It's re-usable and lets air at the wound, which is needed. I think I'll try to get him to soak in epsom salts again tonight but I don't know, it hurt him so bad that other night, it might be a hard sell.

[chewiegand]

Oh, so dh and I went out for his bd yesterday. Went to that place I told you about. We had a few drinks and a bunch of appetizers. I was so stuffed, too much. We had fried calamari, oysters rockefeller, onion rings and spinach parm dip with crostini. OMG---it was so good and nice. We sat at the bar and it was quiet and we chatted and just relaxed. I loved it and we will definitely do this again sometime. I couldn't even eat dinner I was so stuffed and we got home early cause we went at 4--we got back about 6. I liked it alot.

[tcalhoun72]

Ok. Still don't know what is going to happen but I know what the options are.

Option #1: The DA wants to drop 1 felony charge and go with 1 count of indecent liberties with a minor which will give him a lifetime sex offender registration, 13-16 months in prison and his probation can't be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2: His attorney wants to reduce the charge to a misdemeanor sexual battery charge which gets him a 10 year sex offender registration, some jail time but I forget how much, his probation can be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2 depends on if I agree to it or not and if his sister will take him in. His attorney thought she wasn't willing to do that but I don't know. She has pretty much stopped talking to us. She felt we weren't doing enough for Jonathan. She thought we should have bailed him out and let him live with us.

His attorney said he is going to ask for a continuance tomorrow so he can try to work out some details about where Jonathan could live. Besides his sister, there is nowhere for him to live.

So that is all I know for now.

Gotta finish packing. Talk to you all soon.

[Oksue]

Tami....are you kidding me? She thought after what he did you should have invited him back into your home? Really????? What planet is she from???!!! I hope whatever happens it will give you some peace. In yrs. to come as your daughter matures it would be good for her to know justice was done on her behalf.

Chewie......I am so glad the evening turned out nice for you and hubby!!!!

[tcalhoun72]

Yes Sue. Exactly. But I just checked and she still lives in her apt but told Jonathan's attorney she lives in a dorm so he can't move in with her... so she doesn't want him to live with her but she wants him to live with us? Not gonna happen. I just can't wait for all of this to be over. It seems like it is all I think about anymore.

Originally Posted by Oksue

Tami....are you kidding me? She thought after what he did you should have invited him back into your home? Really????? What planet is she from???!!! I hope whatever happens it will give you some peace. In yrs. to come as your daughter matures it would be good for her to know justice was done on her behalf.

Chewie......I am so glad the evening turned out nice for you and hubby!!!!

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by tcalhoun72

Ok. Still don't know what is going to happen but I know what the options are.

Option #1: The DA wants to drop 1 felony charge and go with 1 count of indecent liberties with a minor which will give him a lifetime sex offender registration, 13-16 months in prison and his probation can't be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2: His attorney wants to reduce the charge to a misdemeanor sexual battery charge which gets him a 10 year sex offender registration, some jail time but I forget how much, his probation can be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2 depends on if I agree to it or not and if his sister will take him in. His attorney thought she wasn't willing to do that but I don't know. She has pretty much stopped talking to us. She felt we weren't doing enough for Jonathan. She thought we should have bailed him out and let him live with us.

His attorney said he is going to ask for a continuance tomorrow so he can try to work out some details about where Jonathan could live. Besides his sister, there is nowhere for him to live.

So that is all I know for now.

Gotta finish packing. Talk to you all soon.

Hugs. None of those options looks like it will help him. He needs help, imho.
In no way am I condoning what he did---I just think that he is so young and has such a bad background, he needs help so this won't happen to anyone else. I don't think jailtime alone will rehabilitate anyone.

[tcalhoun72]

Both options include mandatory sex offender counseling... that is the best they have available.

Originally Posted by chewiegand

Hugs. None of those options looks like it will help him. He needs help, imho.
In no way am I condoning what he did---I just think that he is so young and has such a bad background, he needs help so this won't happen to anyone else. I don't think jailtime alone will rehabilitate anyone.

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by tcalhoun72

Both options include mandatory sex offender counseling... that is the best they have available.

OOps---missed it. What a horrible situation. Hugs.

[Lony]

I love making collection calls, Or the leg breaking threats as the boss calls it.

[kcmama]

Originally Posted by Lony

I love making collection calls, Or the leg breaking threats as the boss calls it.

Omg, I would love to hear you do a collection call. Can you give us a sample?

Well, I am taking a break. Spent over an hour cleaning off/going through one shelf in my linen/medicine closet. I have been dreading this and started it during spring break, lol. Got the shelves for towels, sheets and one misc. one done then, but the medicine thing. I have to read the expiration date on everything!! Fortunately I have been able to throw away a lot of things/burnt out night light bulbs, old chapsticks, half empty lotions/creams. It is more difficult with the individual packages of Nuprin, Advil, etc. Some of the print is very hard to read. LOL. I have to do this stuff while dh is not around. He won't let me throw anything out. He thinks expiration dates are a conspiracy by drug companies to make you buy more drugs! I don't care. When the expiration date is 1997 I think it needs to be tossed. Anyhow, also going through first aid kits and tossing items that say 1994! Even bandaids have to go if the outer pkg is so old it is coming undone, imho the bandaid is no longer sterile if air has gotten to it so I don't want to put that on an open wound, etc. Have found some thermometers I was missing and about 10 things of dental floss.

Anyhow, taking a break. I have a bag of expired meds ready to take to the recycling event on the 28th--they will have police there monitoring the drug recycling! I still have another huge shelf of stuff to go through. Blech!!

[kcmama]

Originally Posted by tcalhoun72

Ok. Still don't know what is going to happen but I know what the options are.

Option #1: The DA wants to drop 1 felony charge and go with 1 count of indecent liberties with a minor which will give him a lifetime sex offender registration, 13-16 months in prison and his probation can't be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2: His attorney wants to reduce the charge to a misdemeanor sexual battery charge which gets him a 10 year sex offender registration, some jail time but I forget how much, his probation can be transfered to another state and mandatory sex offender counseling.

Option #2 depends on if I agree to it or not and if his sister will take him in. His attorney thought she wasn't willing to do that but I don't know. She has pretty much stopped talking to us. She felt we weren't doing enough for Jonathan. She thought we should have bailed him out and let him live with us.

His attorney said he is going to ask for a continuance tomorrow so he can try to work out some details about where Jonathan could live. Besides his sister, there is nowhere for him to live.

So that is all I know for now.

Gotta finish packing. Talk to you all soon.

Well, sad situation. I am with Sue. When I read that his sister thought he should still be able to live with you I also wondered what planet/drug she was on. I can hear my mother saying "It would be a cold day in he** before he would be allowed back in my house." That was one of her favorite phrases "It would be a cold day in....."

Now let's see her step up to the plate here then. He is afterall, her brother, her blood relation, not your blood relation. From what I am reading Option #2 is not even a viable one if she won't let him live with her so the decision is out of your hands if that happens. The silver lining for you is that she will ultimately be the one putting her brother away not you if she won't agree to let him live with her.

Now, what is going on with the mother? No charges against her for child abuse?

[kcmama]

Originally Posted by chewiegand

Oh, so dh and I went out for his bd yesterday. Went to that place I told you about. We had a few drinks and a bunch of appetizers. I was so stuffed, too much. We had fried calamari, oysters rockefeller, onion rings and spinach parm dip with crostini. OMG---it was so good and nice. We sat at the bar and it was quiet and we chatted and just relaxed. I loved it and we will definitely do this again sometime. I couldn't even eat dinner I was so stuffed and we got home early cause we went at 4--we got back about 6. I liked it alot.

Glad you had such a great time, Chewie!!

[kcmama]

Originally Posted by debkeversole

we don't share the same political or religious beliefs but before the kids got married that never seemed to be an issue and we did EVERYTHING together(for like 7 years)like i said we even helped to build their {her parents}house .. after they got married and then her maternal grandmother died and they tried to make Kenny and Ashley move into the grandmothers house then it came up we were not wanted anymore

it is like they were nice to us until they got our son and then they were done
i have talked about this til i know yopu all are very tired of it
and no i can not think of ANYTHING that we said or did to deserve everything since 2010
Kenny and Ashley started dating when they were 12 and now they are 22

You know, Deb. Sue does have a good point. Perhaps you should sit down with her, have Ken and Kenny with you, and just ask her what you did wrong. Talk to her like you did to us--relate the history of the kids' relationship, how you all always did everything as a big group/family, how you enjoyed spending time together and thought that they did too, about how hurt you have been at all that has happened. Tell her you would like to know if you all did anything--something so offensive --that it would make them cut you out like that so that you can have an opportunity to make things right again. I am not saying that you guys did anything wrong, there may be something she perceived incorrectly and if you are not allowed an opportunity to discuss it then you cannot make amends. Were they supposed to pay you for helping with the house or something and then didn't do so? Could it be that they have stopped seeing you because of guilt on their part?

IMHO, She is not acting in a very Christian manner. Don't be confrontational/argumentative, etc. and if you can't do it without crying well do it anyway. Maybe seeing so much hurt will get to her. At this point in the relationship how can it be worse? If you don't try something then the situation is not likely to ever change. I know it will not be an easy or comfortable thing to do. I know that I would personally be praying incessantly for God to give me the words and the strength to do this in a loving/Christian way in this situation, I tell you. I hate the thought of you continuing to be this miserable! I hate it, I tell you! Too bad we can't come over there and force an intervention!!!!

[kcmama]

I just made a one minute muffin that is really good. I bought some sugar free Davinci Kahlua and used that and used a tbsp of cocoa. It is really good. Oh, I also put in 2 drops of Ezsweetz cuz I like sweet things......so you might try adding those to a recipe one day if you feel like something Mocha!!

[Lony]

Originally Posted by kcmama

Omg, I would love to hear you do a collection call. Can you give us a sample?

Well, I am taking a break. Spent over an hour cleaning off/going through one shelf in my linen/medicine closet. I have been dreading this and started it during spring break, lol. Got the shelves for towels, sheets and one misc. one done then, but the medicine thing. I have to read the expiration date on everything!! Fortunately I have been able to throw away a lot of things/burnt out night light bulbs, old chapsticks, half empty lotions/creams. It is more difficult with the individual packages of Nuprin, Advil, etc. Some of the print is very hard to read. LOL. I have to do this stuff while dh is not around. He won't let me throw anything out. He thinks expiration dates are a conspiracy by drug companies to make you buy more drugs! I don't care. When the expiration date is 1997 I think it needs to be tossed. Anyhow, also going through first aid kits and tossing items that say 1994! Even bandaids have to go if the outer pkg is so old it is coming undone, imho the bandaid is no longer sterile if air has gotten to it so I don't want to put that on an open wound, etc. Have found some thermometers I was missing and about 10 things of dental floss.

Anyhow, taking a break. I have a bag of expired meds ready to take to the recycling event on the 28th--they will have police there monitoring the drug recycling! I still have another huge shelf of stuff to go through. Blech!!

Men are easy. I got three credit card payments and an offer for a better job today. I can give great phone, they think they are talking to some hot 25 year old who has nothing better to do then giggle at their corny jokes.

Women are a whole different ball of wax. I had one lady today at a very large smanchy hotel tell me today that she was not going to pay and there was nothing I could do about it. I flat out told her I was going to put a mechanical lein on her hotel. Which means unless she pays the bill nothing mechanical can be run at the hotel. Hot water, plumbing nothing She paid me.

I mean really it was a 15 thousand dollar job and they were just going to ignore it. What are people thinking?

[debkeversole]

i thought we were going to have to special order Kenny a suit and lo and behold there was an ordered one that the person canceled ON SALE! and it will just have to be altered in the arm length!!!! (about 10-20 bucks maybe!!)
so i thought i would have to CC at least 400 buck s and danged if i didnt get out of there for 125!!!!! the pants were on sale too the tie was as much as the jacket!


he went with the purple tie(still has that much of his Mommie in him) instead of the orange not too shabby of a college graduation present from his parents soo 150 dollar jacket on sale for 40

i offered to buy Ashley a business suit too but she hasn't made up her mind yet

[Oksue]

Deb....he looks SO handsome!

[debkeversole]

dang nab Dick Clark died today

[Oksue]

I used to watch the American Band Stand every Saturday morning when I was just around 7-8 yr. old. I remember them doing the "Stroll".
He fought a hard battle over the last few yrs. and he lived a long life of 82 yrs. I bet they are dancing in Heaven this evening!!!

[lucky51]

Deb, that suit looks like it was made for Kenny. You got a good deal.

[Lony]

Deb it was your lucky shopping day! I would be doing the happy dance. What did you get for yourself?

[Lony]

Well I would love to stay and chat but I had to take a pain pill so my bed is calling me. Be back in a bit lovelys!

[debkeversole]

Originally Posted by lucky51

Deb, that suit looks like it was made for Kenny. You got a good deal.

that is what he said when he picked it up!! he said it was meant to be

Originally Posted by Lony

Deb it was your lucky shopping day! I would be doing the happy dance. What did you get for yourself?

i got tears! OMG we went looking at JCP and Belks for me and there were soo many clothes that i just kept saying "Betty would have bought herself this got tired of it and gave it to me!!" LOL but i only found one summer sweater i really liked but 62 bucks!! not gonna happen and looking at another shirt in the same rack(color family as well) i said Betty did give me 2 shorts made like this! so i am going digging in storage tomorrow! Kenny kept picking up paisley gauzy things and i kept telling him SWEAT !! they will make me sweat!

[debkeversole]

Originally Posted by Lony

Well I would love to stay and chat but I had to take a pain pill so my bed is calling me. Be back in a bit lovelys!

[debkeversole]

[debkeversole]

you can't see it very well here but it is Alfred dunner and a beautiful mint color SIGH

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by kcmama

I just made a one minute muffin that is really good. I bought some sugar free Davinci Kahlua and used that and used a tbsp of cocoa. It is really good. Oh, I also put in 2 drops of Ezsweetz cuz I like sweet things......so you might try adding those to a recipe one day if you feel like something Mocha!!

Recipe please?????

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by Oksue

Deb....he looks SO handsome!

Ditto!!!! And awesome bargain hunting!!!! Go Deb!!! See life isn't all bad.

[chewiegand]

Originally Posted by debkeversole

dang nab Dick Clark died today

OH I didn't know. Wow, he was an American Icon.