YOUR BODY IMAGE: An Essential Key to Weightloss and to Keeping It Off Once You Lose

[TaDa!]

I have been reading a book about "permaneant weightloss". There are numerous sections and thoughts that are very valuable. I thought I would post one or two here and there to share with everyone.

The book is: The Solution: 6 Winning Ways to Permaneant Weight Loss by Lauren Mellin, M.A., R.D.

When I finish this book, I intend to start another book suggested by Cartbabe and hope to post thoughts from that book here as well as discussion topics. We have to change our way of thinking and looking at ourselves to make this weightloss happen for us, and to keep it off ...

Your Body Image

I have just read the chapter on Body Pride, on accepting and honoring your body just the way it is now, today - even the parts that you "don't like." Why is accepting our bodies one element necessary for healing? (who knew??!!!!)

"...what people dislike about their bodies becomes fodder for rejection of the self. Rejection of the body and self add to the buildup of emotional distress inside. We stop seeking comfort from within ourselves and start seeking external gratifiers in excess."

You have an inner monologue that tells you are lazy, powerless, unable to control yourself, a bad greedy person, etc. It is compassion for the self that heals, not cold judgemental attitudes toward your body and the self. Throw out that judgemental voice inside of you for the compassionate one who will tell you:

- Your body is beautiful just the way it is
- You are wonderful because you are you
- You do not need to fix yourself. You are not broken.

Giving yourself compassion and understanding will help you gain control.

OK, you say you hate your body and you hate what the weight has done to it, but the doctor is not asking us to love the fact that we have lumpy thighs or hanging bellies, but to come to some acceptance of yourself.

I have come to terms with the fact that, short of plastic surgery which I will not get, I will live with these stretch marks and lumps. Actually prior to reading this book, I had come to terms with my body. My thinking is that these body charcteristics are a badge of honor for motherhood and for the extraordinary battle I have been through and the demon I am conquering. It is my own purple heart. I am actually better, tougher, more beautiful than those hard bodies at my gym who do not have my battle scars ...

Yeah, I regret not taking care of my body and being obese my entire life, but what matters is how I have taken control of my destiny. It helps that I look good (read: reasonable) in clothing and no one has to see those bits that I wish to keep private - my upper arms, my thighs, my tummy.

Ms. Mellin in her book does give an exercise to work through your feelings about your body and yourself. The idea is to appreciate your own qualities and come to terms with the ones you take issue with - recognizing an "essential pain" which is basically a fact that you cannot deny. For me, for example my essential pain for many of my entries is the fact that the damage to my body is done and that I will not be getting surgery to fix them.

In order to do this exercise, you want to think about those disliked qualities, "are any changeable? If yes, will you change or accept them? If they are not changeable, grieve the loss involved, and accept that part of yourself."

Exercise:

Write Down 5 things I like about myself.
Write Down 5 things I do not like about myself.
Write Down 5 things I like about my body.
Write Down 5 things I do not like about my body.

I hope this is useful to someone out there, the whole idea sounded pretty revolutionary to me, but then again, I have never been a big self-help book reader, lol!

all!!!!!

Pauline

[blue_denim_and_lace]

Awesome post Pauline, Awesome... its sooooo true.... and really makes a difference in how you feel...

[never too old]

This is an excellent post Pauline!! I just posted on the Struggling board a question about being happy with what I will have after getting to goal. This answered alot of the questions and thoughts I had!!

[mamagiff]

I read something similar to this several years ago in our local newspaper. Since then I have tried to be more accepting of myself. I don't always succeed but I'm getting better!

I do accept that if I ever get anywhere close to a goal, I will most likely not look good without clothes but it doesn't matter because the only one that sees me that way is DH and if he thinks I'm gorgeous now, then it won't matter later! I told him I will look like a Chinese Sharpei dog and he just laughs and tells me it doesn't matter!

Thanks for the reminder to be more gentle with myself and not be so critical of my parts.

[Magnolia]

Body image is very much a mental state

[TaDa!]

It is totally a mental state! Thing is, I remember starting on these boards - and well, even now, there are folks who say "just get over it. Yeah, you are huge but it shouldn't stop you from doing everything you want to do, i.e. like romping around in a bathing suit, exercising in public - stuff like that. But, the fact was that my mental state would not let me get past it. The shame - wrong or right - is there to contend with.

For many of us, we have to work on our mental state and come to terms with reality. How many times, I wished I was as brave as some of you out there - posting scantily-clad progress pix, skydiving, scubadiving, running off to the gym. I just couldn't do it. Little did I know that my focus or hatred of my body, my shame, is part of the problem. Rejecting yourself just leads to food for comfort again ..

Anyhooo, just hoping that maybe someone out there who felt like I did will get a little bit of hope, inspiration, or maybe even help from the info



Pauline

[AllofMe]

You have no idea how good your timing is with this post today Pauline. I thought I had a pretty good mental state until I went shopping today for clothes and bought nothing because of one lump or bulge or something else that didn't look 'thin'. Thank-you for posting this. It gives me something to think about.

[TaDa!]

Funny, I went to the beach today and there were some beautiful young teenagers there. 18 and 19 years who looked as well as they could have and I noticed cellulite on those legs. Truly, we are all holding ourselves up to the airbrushed photos of the media. No one is that perfect and no one can be that perfect depsite all the surgery and body treatments available.

Now I reralize why all those nasty tabloid articles about "guess whose butt this is?" are always in our face in the supermarket .... they are all as normal as we are! We really are holding ourselves up to a fantasy ideal if a normal young adult, even a famous movie star, does not and can not look like that ...

just another thought!

[TaDa!]

Bumpimg this old post. Maybe it will be a little help to someone out there.

[Yankee Belle]

Thank you for bumping it. I have a LOT of trouble with accepting myself the way I am. There are just certain things about me that I CANNOT change such as my height (5'10"), bone structure (large boned...like a man ) , my stomach (ewwwww... it just CAN'T be dealt with without surgery) and my breasts (again...ewwwww)

Somehow I have to learn to love these parts of myself as well as the rest. Maybe I should do the exercise you printed there.

Again, thanks.

[TaDa!]

I know Theresa .. me too ... you know, I guess it helped me see that i do not have to be in love with my body, just accept what is and try to move on from there. It just made so much sense to me that we do put our own stumbling blocks out there becasue of our pasts.

My description is probably ok, but the book and her other books probably describe it in a much better way ... Truthfully I found this book hard to read and even did not like some of it, but still there were some really good bits. I go to my local library and get books like this out and read them. Then if they're really really good, I buy them cheap at half.com.

hth!

[Britlee]

Thanks Pauline for the bump.