This is a journal to help me learn LC tactics and to record LC success as 2007 draws to an end and 2008 looms large and hopeful ahead of me.
Wish me luck! Luck?
Ah, luck is the residue of design.
Found that in a fortune cookie, ages ago.
Fits into the LC mantra about how failing to plan is planning to fail. So my plans start out each day with a hot slosh of WPP+cocoa+espresso+VCO so that I start off feeling like a LC success. Yay, me!
Wish me luck! Luck?
Ah, luck is the residue of design.
Found that in a fortune cookie, ages ago.
Fits into the LC mantra about how failing to plan is planning to fail. So my plans start out each day with a hot slosh of WPP+cocoa+espresso+VCO so that I start off feeling like a LC success. Yay, me!
Function vs. dysfunction
As I consider my role in various dysfunctional relationships, I recall a tv dog trainer who felt the humans were at fault when they blamed a pet for some misbehavior. Barbara Woodhouse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia tells about this eccentric British lady's approach.
Amusing, but possibly useful as we look for better behavior from our friends and lovers?
Here's the post that prompts me to start a new topic in my BLOG:
BBC - Cult - I Love 1980 - TV is another glimpse of this extraordinary woman in dog-training history.
Now I must seriously consider how I might be the 'dysfunction' in any or many of my own odd and dysfunctional relationships. Owning my own choice to connect or to stay connected to people whose behavior torques me and makes life more of a challenge than it might be if I made better choices and took better care of who I hang with? OUCH!
Personal responsibility is a bear.
Amusing, but possibly useful as we look for better behavior from our friends and lovers?
Here's the post that prompts me to start a new topic in my BLOG:
Quote:
If it is true, that guys are just guys and none of them are different - which I suspect is a Higher Truth - then maybe it's we ourselves who make SOME guys SEEM to dig deep to be all that we need a guy to be? Is it as simple as training a dog to behave? Is it all the pet owner's fault if a dog behaves badly, as that darling English dog trainer used to insist on her tv shows?
OMG! We train guys to fit into our lives - or we let guys run amok and destroy our lives? Is it that simple? Training. Rewarding good behavior so fast and effectively that a pet or a guy falls into line and is content to be domesticated, to walk at heel with no leash to tug?
Is that maybe what is missing in my own equation? Am I the defective/ineffective factor? Oh, dear!
But maybe that's not so bad, as I am the ONLY factor that I can possibly change in any way. Maybe I am in a position to change the whole equation by calling on myself to set boundaries and to create positive experiences for me and anyone I choose to bring into my life.
What a delicious perspective comes to light, as various people online talk and one sees things through different lenses; so one writer brought her insight that "guys are just guys; none of them are different" to a burning issue of why women feel wounded when a man drifts off or cannot stay focused on being in love!
OMG! We train guys to fit into our lives - or we let guys run amok and destroy our lives? Is it that simple? Training. Rewarding good behavior so fast and effectively that a pet or a guy falls into line and is content to be domesticated, to walk at heel with no leash to tug?
Is that maybe what is missing in my own equation? Am I the defective/ineffective factor? Oh, dear!
But maybe that's not so bad, as I am the ONLY factor that I can possibly change in any way. Maybe I am in a position to change the whole equation by calling on myself to set boundaries and to create positive experiences for me and anyone I choose to bring into my life.
What a delicious perspective comes to light, as various people online talk and one sees things through different lenses; so one writer brought her insight that "guys are just guys; none of them are different" to a burning issue of why women feel wounded when a man drifts off or cannot stay focused on being in love!
Now I must seriously consider how I might be the 'dysfunction' in any or many of my own odd and dysfunctional relationships. Owning my own choice to connect or to stay connected to people whose behavior torques me and makes life more of a challenge than it might be if I made better choices and took better care of who I hang with? OUCH!
Personal responsibility is a bear.
Total Comments 9
Comments
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In a move toward function and away from dysfunction, I spoke with someone I shall not be hanging with anymore. It was difficult, but I explained that I am shifting gears at 64, am working to find a more functional lifestyle and am no longer able to support anyone who is not supportive of my new direction. Pruning deadwood? Sort of. Things change.
I also got up and OUT the door today to collect mail, tote trash, just see the sun. Second venture forth this month. Must make more of an effort to sally forth, just to keep the fear of going OUT from taking away my ability to do stuff that has to be done. I really ought to get out weekly, buy fresh food, breathe fresh air, get a spot of sun, dare to BE! Function. I see the F-U-N but do not feel it as I force my brief outings, going early to avoid traffic and long lines. It is an anxious activity for me, walking unsteadily as I do. I dread having car trouble or tripping. Full of fear. No FUN! But I am always so proud of myself when I get back home! |
Posted 01-31-2008 at 11:00 AM by Zer
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Keep on keeping on, dear Zer! I'm proud of you, too! And you're absolutely right. I should be taking your example and move away from people who "fry my cheese". In one way I already have taken a big step. Remember the job I so hate? I put in my notice and my last day is February 15th. Yay, me! Yay, you!
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Posted 01-31-2008 at 02:08 PM by kuukuu
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Nice way to give yourself a Valentine (Feb.14 is V'day), kuukuu
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Posted 01-31-2008 at 03:58 PM by Zer
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Tango? Don't mind if I ~DO~...Just posted a commitment to myself in my WeightLossJournal:
Quote:
I think I am looking forward to creating a new reality for me in Spring 2008, as I turn 64 (starting my 65th year on this planet - more than half of that at a weight of 400# or more, which is a handicap I can no longer manage well).
I am focused on paring down, on working a LC plan day by day to become half the size I currently am, to find my way to an intermediate goal of 199#. At that weight, I'll reward myself with a personal scale and I'll weigh daily to see how I am doing in refining my ultimate weight goal (150#?) for a 5'10" frame. I am looking to a busier, brighter future as an active senior who seeks out active friends. My past social life centered on eating. No more. I'm looking for active friends! No more lunch buddies. I want active buddies. Tango, anyone? http://www.nurisite.com/midisonly/ar...a/porunaca.mid http://www.nurisite.com/midisonly/ar.../poruna_tp.mid |
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Posted 02-01-2008 at 05:00 AM by Zer
Updated 02-01-2008 at 05:43 AM by Zer (Adding tango link) |
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Setting boundaries is part of a functional life. I'm learning a lot about setting boundaries and respecting myself as I read at LCFriends. Check out this thread: http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/ce...l#post10066171
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Posted 03-15-2008 at 06:40 PM by Zer
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Wonderful insight shared about parenting, what it takes to be a parent. I'm not sure WHERE to fit this in, as part of my rambling on Function/Dysfunction or as part of my new thoughts on Forgiving (myself and others). For now, it is going here, just so I do not risk losing it as I chronicle my growth through reading what my LCFriends offer in posts at what is turning into a truly great support site.
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This is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes - at 64 - and I can see how it may well be true of my own birth-parents, who were never a mommy and daddy to their three kids. They were just not up to the big job of parenting. Not bad people, just not up to the job that parenting is, day in and day out, year in and year out. Thank you for phrasing this in a way that I can hear and accept as true. What a priceless viewpoint!
Quote:
Originally Posted by poe2you
My ex gave up his rights when my son was 4 yrs. old.. when i found the right time and that he could understand i just told him "some people were not meant to be a daddy" .. it didn't mean that you were not wanted, only that he could not be a daddy.. it was too hard of a job for him.. your father was so happy the day you were born, and i am sure you will always have a special place in his heart".
...things happen for a reason! |
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Posted 03-18-2008 at 08:43 AM by Zer
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One of the strangest arguments on any LC list is the battle over drinking water to stay hydrated, keep things moving. Here are some of the reasons that ~I~ aim to drink water as I work my LC program. Current target is 128oz daily, as I have 200# I want to lose and that means I add 64oz (8 x 8oz for each 25# I want to lose) to my basic 64oz for daily optimal metabolic function.
"Many people think drinking lots of water will increase skin tone, keeping it younger looking. What actually happens, though, is that people who don’t drink enough water have skin that becomes dehydrated, losing its turgor, which adds to the appearance of aging." Um, that's good enough for me! My skin is what people compliment me on as they tell me I do not look my age. Chug-a-lug! Turgor? "...turgor results from the pressure of water in the tissues, the fact is that water consumption would then have a positive impact on skin appearance." I'll say so! Improving skin tone is a BIG factor as we lose weight and hope to regain some elasticity in saggy skin. "Every disease that is known to man has been helped by water. Our bodies are 80% water and when our body does not have enough water the first signs of dehydration are acid reflux and constipation. Over time dehydration, acidosis and free radicals cause disease." Read more about this at WaterCure-dot-com ... I did! "...studying body fluid balance in a nursing pathophysiology course ... the text (Pathophysiology by Lee-Ellen C. Copstead & Jacquelyn L. Banasik) says that humans are about 80% water as prenatals (75% as a full-term newborn) and that number decreases as we age: 60% for an adult male, 50% for an adult female and is even lower for the elderly. The numbers become less predictable when the person is obese due to the excess body fat. The thirst center in our brain is driven by the volume of fluid in our bodies and the relative concentration of solutes (mainly sodium and other electrolytes). As with most body functions, our sense of thirst declines with age, and dehydration (body fluid balance) is a common problem among the elderly." "...water is the magical medicine, try it for a month and see the difference in your body, it cures everything. It is so useful ... that there is a current media campaign to discredit water because ... pharmaceutical companies are losing so much money with more people finding out the secret of staying healthy." NaturalNews-dot-com "Ask any doctor or just try it out for 2 weeks. ... Water is extremely healthy." So say some folks who enjoy drinking water - a free 'cure' for a lot of the ailments that people at LC support sites are talking about - yes, right here! Drinking water solves so many difficult situations, from clogged pores to clogged digestive tracts. Feeling clogged? Sip a glass of water as you think about this. Sure helps to keep me sipping! Anyone thirsty? Nothing satisfies like water! |
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Posted 06-13-2008 at 07:03 AM by Zer
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Were we all born with functional metabolisms? I think so.I suspect we were born with metabolisms that worked well - and we screwed up by using food as a drug, a mood-altering, life-saving drug. I know I did. What I did with food helped me survive a bleak life as a toddler and youngster and as a young adult with no coping skills. My addiction to food kept me safe from a lot of other addictions that disrupt a person's life.
Now, at 64, I am ready to develop better coping skills. Thanks to the LCFriend who led me to write up the above admission that what I lament today as a ghastly flaw in my character or personality turns out to be nothing more than an early coping skill that once saved my life but is no longer necessary. I've outgrown it. Time to let go. Quote:
...I still feel hungry after I reach my BMR... with the HB equation, [a higher calorie count is] still good, but mentally I'm thinking it's way too high. So hard to break that old habit huh? I find it so strange how I cycle with doing SO well on this woe and then just one day, BAM, i'm craving everything, having little cheats... and questioning everything. Ugh...why wasn't I born with a fab metabolism?!?!
Thanks to those who share their struggles and their victories here. It all helps those of us who are trudging the same path, making the same journey. ----- Stats: 5'10"; 64; 508.7/401.8/199 WOE: Atkins+ALG; BMR:2423cals; 182gProtein; 128ozWater 432.4(2/8) 426.2(3/8) 413.2(4/8) 402.2(6/8) ----- 432.4#(2/8/08)... Feb -5# ... March -13# ... April -5.8# ... May -6# June: 402.8(6/1) 401.2(6/2) 401.6(6/7) 402.2(6/8) 401.8(6/14) Interim goals: 432.4 430 420 410  399 390 380 370 360 350 340 330 320 310 299(2/5/09) 290 280 270 260 250 240 230 220 210 199----- |
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Posted 06-20-2008 at 05:15 AM by Zer
Updated 06-20-2008 at 05:17 AM by Zer |
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At a loss for how to carry groceries, if plastic or paper is not an option or becomes pricey? Try using a silk scarf for Furoshiki, an ancient Japanese art of wrapping and carrying anything in a square of cloth. As I de-clutter, I find a slew of bags of all sorts, hanging here, there, everywhere. Handbags, bookbags, canvas bags, leather bags, nylon bags - as well as the plastic bags that are neatly folded into triangles and filling a string bag hanging on a doorhandle. Maybe I can do without an assortment of bags, if I learn to use a silk scarf as a carry-all!
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Posted 07-28-2008 at 11:40 AM by Zer
Updated 07-28-2008 at 11:43 AM by Zer |
Recent Blog Entries by Zer
- Finding furniture/cars that fit my size/height/weight needs. (05-31-2008)
- The Recovery Process (04-05-2008)
- Moving my muscles (aka the excruciating "E" word) (03-20-2008)
- Supplements for good health; how much of what? (02-26-2008)
- Halcyon days...LC'ing joy (02-16-2008)
