This is a journal to help me learn LC tactics and to record LC success as 2007 draws to an end and 2008 looms large and hopeful ahead of me.
Wish me luck! Luck?
Ah, luck is the residue of design.
Found that in a fortune cookie, ages ago.
Fits into the LC mantra about how failing to plan is planning to fail. So my plans start out each day with a hot slosh of WPP+cocoa+espresso+VCO so that I start off feeling like a LC success. Yay, me!
Wish me luck! Luck?
Ah, luck is the residue of design.
Found that in a fortune cookie, ages ago.
Fits into the LC mantra about how failing to plan is planning to fail. So my plans start out each day with a hot slosh of WPP+cocoa+espresso+VCO so that I start off feeling like a LC success. Yay, me!
Just don't look good nekkid anymore (song lyric)
Posted 01-14-2008 at 12:02 AM by Zer
I kid you not, I'm listening to a corny country classic radio station and cannot believe my ears as a guy is singing "I just don't look good nekkid anymore...maybe I never did" and more of the same. My kind of music: corny country music! Don't believe me? See lyrics here: http://www.missourivalley.usta.com/n...005&itype=1268 http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/so...px?SongID=4996
One of the best goals I've heard is one I may never achieve, but I do admire it: I WANT TO LOOK GOOD NAKED! Yep, there is a nudist in this big blobby body of mine (~400#) and I sense that I'm going to find myself starkers before too long, as I turn 64 and am less and less inclined to be concerned about damaging the scenery with my less-than-perfect anatomy. Scary thought, eh?
One of the best goals I've heard is one I may never achieve, but I do admire it: I WANT TO LOOK GOOD NAKED! Yep, there is a nudist in this big blobby body of mine (~400#) and I sense that I'm going to find myself starkers before too long, as I turn 64 and am less and less inclined to be concerned about damaging the scenery with my less-than-perfect anatomy. Scary thought, eh?
Total Comments 6
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There's a cable show called "How To Look Good Naked"...Been meaning to watch it, but haven't caught it yet.
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I'm not able to watch, not having cable access, but I googled and found http://www.thatsfit.com/2008/01/08/n...ok-good-naked/ - and it seems to be a reality-makeover show, with an emphasis on making over one's "reality" about body image, saying
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Rather than focusing on diet and exercise, as one might expect, the show narrows in on the negative feelings women have surrounding their body and works to reverse them. In the end, participants in the show aren't a bit lighter or fitter, but hopefully have learned to appreciate themselves in a different light.
Thanks for bringing this show up. Intriguing! See also http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/ar...rssnyt&emc=rss |
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Updated 01-25-2008 at 10:39 AM by Zer |
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Aha! I've got Big Bones! Was not sure, as I begin to see a relatively frail skeleton appear in this mass of fat. I've never had ankles at all; always was thick at that joint. Always need to add links to a bracelet or watchband. So finding this guide to knowing bodyframe size relieves me of wondering how small a frame might eventually be mine, once the fat is gone. Wrists and ankles tell the story:
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To calculate your frame type place your thumb and index finger around your wrist. If your finger overlaps the thumb, your frame is a "Small Frame". If they touch, your frame is a "Medium Frame". If they do not touch, your frame is a "Large Frame".
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A friend has written a poignant and piercing bit on what it's like to live in a massive body. I do not often admit how awkward it is, but I feel a need to preserve here an accurate description of what life is like at my current weight (400#). The writer is an educated, accomplished professional in her chosen field, a young woman with her life ahead of her. I am about to turn 64, so have only a few years to enjoy a more active life. Health is a key factor in quality of life, especially for an aging woman alone today. What follows is a gift to me, a chance to see myself and my life as it truly is - and as it might be:
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I always think about how I'm simply taking the time to focus on me and my needs now - something that is rough for me because I was usually taking care of someone else's needs. I know that once I get stronger on this [LC] way of life, I can face going out to restaurants more often and making good choices.... Sometimes I failed and othertimes I did well....
In the past, I would have wolfed down candy bars or pastry treats or bread or who knows what else so it would fill me up and numb me from whatever I was upset, depressed, sad, etc. about. Now I feel like that would be cheating myself and self sabotaging all my hard work and sacrifices - for what? Is that candy bar going to make my problem go away or is it going to ADD to it? Is that minute or five that it takes to stuff down several slices of bread really going to be something I'm ok with 2 hours from now or tomorrow or will it make me just feel disappointed in myself, overwhelmed and like a loser and a quitter that shouldn't bother to try anymore? I also had to ask myself wasn't I worth a little bit of hunger or denying a craving to get this weight off? And, don't I think I'm worth NOT being cheated on - especially by my own self? Wouldn't I be treating myself just as shabily as [others are] treating me if I do cheat on myself? If I kept doing the same things I had been doing, I was going to keep getting the same result - getting heavier and heavier and feeling more and more uncomfortable and having more and more isses with just doing things to take care of everyday needs - bathroom issues - from fitting in a stall to wiping myself to urinary stress incontinence ... worrying about odors just from sweating and my skin overlapping, clothing issues - especially since plus sized clothes are so difficult to find... not to mention the cost and hassle of ... shipping... and what it they didn't fit. I worried about finding furniture I could sit on without fear of it breaking or having a big fuss made if I didn't fit, having trouble just getting in and out of the car or using a seat belt, of course rude stare and comments, etc. I also know that with all the time I am putting in strictly on plan to be between 20 and 25 carbs per day, when I do go to do something athletic or hit the job market or am one day maybe open to a new relationship, the weight I am losing will make that easier and more enjoyable for me. I want so much to have and experience what sounds like goofy little things - I want a space between me and a table or booth and to fit comfortablly in a chair or theater seat without feeling wedged in, getting bruises or even having to think for a moment whether or not the chair will hold me, I want to cross my legs at the knees, I want to bend down to tie my shoes without having to hoist my foot up on something or sit at weird angles to tie the laces on the side of the shoe rather than in the center of the tongue of the shoe, I want to have a lap for my cat to sit on, I want to buy clothes off the sale or new season rack in regular, cute sizes that don't break the bank simply because they used extra material, I want to get looked at with positive thoughts rather than the rude stares when you know someone is thinking "GAWD look at the FAT ____ (fill in word of choice) - how could she be so lazy and gluttonous and thank goodness I'm not like that or not with someone like that!" It doesn't matter that I'm not lazy or gluttonous - that's the perception 99% of people have about me. I want to have more energy.... I want to be able to get on a boat (like a ski boat, sail boat or even a rowboat)and not worry about it tipping over or leaning to one side, I want to fit on amusement park rides whether I ever go to one again or not, I want to feel confident in a pretty swimsuit not have to wear something that looks like a dress/skirt/shortset or have crazy colors/patterns or feel awkward to go out in public. There are so many other things too. I won't keep naming them, but the point is, I AM worthy and I do want to work for them so I can have a better quality of life because if I don't do it now, when will I? How happy will I be if I keep putting it off? The answer is not happy at all and probably pretty frustrated and upset with myself and I want to like me and be happy! As for time being an issue - well, I learned long ago we make time for the things that are important to us and we eventually learn how to have self discipline to stay on track - slowly and step by step - it won't be easy but it can be done. But all of what my friend writes is true of me as I sit here today. All of it is painfully true. Putting my friend's words into my BLOG will help me face facts. That's what friends are for, to reflect what we cannot see for ourself, to show us what we need to see. OUCH! |
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As I thanked my friend for her painfully candid posting, I wrote this admission of my own way of avoiding the pain she writes about. I need to put this here, so I don't forget how I use denial:
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...everything you say about treating yourself well and not cheating yourself hits home with me, as well as all the stuff about the logistics of being massive.
Hope it's okay with you for me to put your comments into my BLOG, so I can see things as they are in my daily life. Sometimes I psych myself up so far that I lose sight of the core pain of struggling to do daily things. Today I must get up and OUT to collect mail and to tote trash. I must psych myself up to do what must be done, no matter how difficult it is to go out in public. I must do what I delay doing for weeks at a time. So I shall wrap myself in denial and do what I can manage, climbing in and out of my car painfully and walking slowly and with great difficulty to do the little that I can do. When I come home, I shall read again your eloquent description of what it means to be massive in a One-Size-Fits-All world. I shall try to get in touch with my personal pain and humiliation and use that to do better today in making LC choices. Thank you! |
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Updated 01-26-2008 at 09:35 AM by Zer |
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Check out a thread on women who are aging gracefully as healthy humans: Jamie Lee Curtis and Jessica Tandy both shine with radiant good health! http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/10086889-post1.html gives me a goal to shoot for as I see more silver in my thinning hair - what some call nature's frosting as I eschew hair dye and see more salt than pepper in a shaggy thatch on a slimming face. Cheekbones! Structure! Wow!
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Updated 03-21-2008 at 11:23 AM by Zer |
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- The Recovery Process (04-05-2008)
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