One of those days
Posted 05-18-2008 at 01:32 PM by terri73
Why can't my family all get along? It seems like we are constantly at each others throats. Dh wanted to talk to me like I was a child and when I answered him back in the same tone he threw a fit. Why is that the person that starts the immature talk cannot take it when they get it dished back at them? Pre teen DD is so emotional. She flies off the handle over everything so it trickles down to us. Plus DH hasn't been happy since having to take this new job in January. He has to work weekend evenings so we have no together time. No family time. I think it is making us all miserable. I cannot get him to put in for another job. This job is terrible. He never gets all of his hours, usually at least 10 hours short every paycheck. He has to drive 1 hour and 15 minutes one way to get there so he has to leave here by mid afternoon. I am trying to deal with it I really am but I think that I have about met my breaking point. It is effecting us too much. He hates to go every SAt/Sun. I hear him say a dozen times before he leaves. But what can I do? I have told him of every job lead that I hear of and he just blows me off. You can't have it both ways ya know? I mean, change what is making you unhappy or just learn to be happy about your situation.
My family really do not realize that they are part of the reason that I am a big fatty like I am. Food the one thing that I have power over. it will satisfy my emptiness. Or at least that is my mind's thinking. Not many people really know of my destructive behavior. They see the obesity side of it but they do not know the dirty little secrets. The urges that I have, like I am having now but trying to resist. I have secretly scratched my self with objects or burn myself. I know it is all a control issue. The need to feel in control has caused my weight to skyrocket. Trying to prevent my more taboo control tactics has made me fat again. Fat an unhappy.
Honestly, I am trying to learn to find strength inside myself to control all of the behaviors. I am working on becoming a better person. It is a hard road.
Weird, all over the place post I know, but the venting makes me feel so much better!
My family really do not realize that they are part of the reason that I am a big fatty like I am. Food the one thing that I have power over. it will satisfy my emptiness. Or at least that is my mind's thinking. Not many people really know of my destructive behavior. They see the obesity side of it but they do not know the dirty little secrets. The urges that I have, like I am having now but trying to resist. I have secretly scratched my self with objects or burn myself. I know it is all a control issue. The need to feel in control has caused my weight to skyrocket. Trying to prevent my more taboo control tactics has made me fat again. Fat an unhappy.
Honestly, I am trying to learn to find strength inside myself to control all of the behaviors. I am working on becoming a better person. It is a hard road.
Weird, all over the place post I know, but the venting makes me feel so much better!
Total Comments 1
Comments
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 I can relate to so many things here ... DH having a job he hates and complaining about it, but too scared or something to even look for a new one ... the dirty little secrets ... the urges ... I know where you are coming from, girl! The thing is, though, that when we overeat, we are putting the control out of our hands again ... we're giving the food a free reign over us ... When we stop and take control back over foods, we are empowering ourselves! Every time you resist eating a whole chocolate cake, you are taking the wheel in your own hands and affirming that food does not rule your life. When you take a walk, plant a garden, read a book, brush your teeth, or scrub the sink instead of eating chips and drinking soda, you are taking that control away from the food and putting it back where it belongs ... in you. I luff ya, Terri!  |
Posted 05-18-2008 at 02:34 PM by Sarmay
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Recent Blog Entries by terri73
- One of those days (05-18-2008)
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- Emotional Day (02-17-2008)
