Week 5 - Feeling much Better!

Starting this week off much better than last week from every aspect. After the horrible weekend of junk food binges, I went this morning to the grocery store and bought some lowcarb stuff (i.e., dairy, veggie crumble, etc.) and now I'm back on track. Also bought some Benadryn for the rash which I hope will help. It's still painful but not as much so far. No headaches.

Work-wise, I'm also feeling better. I think part of what contributed to the headaches/rash was that I'm an anxious person by nature (though not clinically so) and this is the first time in a long time I've had to be out looking for work (since I've been in grad school for five years and always had a teaching assistantship through them). Stress works in weird ways on me because I don't feel it as stress but as other things (like the headaches and the rash).

But I talked to my parents this weekend and even they say that I have nothing to rush. I've already got a guaranteed spot for 2 courses at the end of June, so I have some money coming in, and I still have some savings (and the 800 bucks Uncle Sam is supposed to give me for taxes is going to help ). And my parents will let me borrow if I have to, though I hope it won't come to that. I'm living very cheaply right now, as rent in TX where I'm at is very low and I have next to nothing expenses now that I'm out of grad school. Even switching to lowcarb is actually saving me some money.

This morning, though, got some good news. One of the colleges I emailed my resume to responded back and asked me to fax my official transcripts. This is a really good sign, as I know even though they keep a pool of part-time instructors, they wouldn't be asking if there wasn't a need.

Had a weird dream early this morning, which just goes to show how addictive sugar and white carbs can be, just like alcohol and drugs. I sometimes have weird dreams after I've binged on a lot of sugar and especially if I've had a binge while lowcarbing when I've been off sugar for a while.

In this dream, I'm in a hotel room with a drab brown carpet and two sliding door closets facing each other. My mom, dad, and sister are there. It's some kind of convention or something because there are others with us in other rooms and there starts to be a rumor going around that there are some weird and dangerous animals entering the rooms, like snakes and things. My sister opens a closet door and we see a tarantula walking among the shoes so we're told to keep an eye on it and know where it is at all times. It seems to be going between the two closets because there's this spray we're told to use to get rid of it and when we come back from lunch, we see that one of my parents has moved the spray from one closet to the other. Then I open a closet and suddenly feel these snakes climbing me, which my sister screams are rattle snakes (but there wasn't any rattle and they felt like small snakes). Anyway, they get the snakes off of me and there's no biting or anything. Then we open the other closet and the tarantula comes out and started to walk around the room.

I woke up then (thank goodness!) but those are the kinds of dreams I have on a sugar hangover. It sort of reminded me of the scene in the old movie "The Big Weekend" (about a writer who's been sober for a while, then circumstances drive him to go on a drinking binge) and at his lowest, he falls asleep in a chair and then wakes up and imagines a mouse poking a hole through the wall and then an owl flying into the room and devouring it (blood dripping from the wall...)

Didn't intend to write such a gory post!

Tam