Week 2, Day 1

Had a very strange time with food yesterday. I had my usual breakfast, then went to Starbuck's to do some writing and had an iced coffee with half-and-half (love their iced coffee!) By the time I got home, it was lunch time, but I thought about what had planned for lunch (veggie crumble with zucchini and diced canned tomatoes) and just didn't feel like it. I tried figuring out what I felt like having.

And out of habit, of course what first popped into my mind is "junk food"! So I took a short walk to the 7-11 and even got as far as picking out some candy. But then I just looked at it and it came to me that I just didn't feel like it. That has not happened to me in the past year and a half. If I walked away from junk food, it was only because I was trying to be "good" and using willpower, not because I really felt no cravings or that my body really wanted it.

So I returned the candy to the rack and came home. I realized I just wasn't hungry for anything, but I did feel a bit weak and decided to take a nap. Then I woke up, feeling fine, a bit hungry but not ravishing. Made my salad and nondairy fudge for the evening, then made a protein shake, which restored my energy enough to do some yoga.

Then watched a movie, which I've actually been trying to stay away from doing, since it triggers binge eating. Had the salad and felt like some nut butter with celery, so I finished off a jar of peanut butter (there was only 2 tbsp there - I measured it ) and after that, I didn't feel like the fudge, so I put it in a container for today.

All in all, then, I didn't eat very much yesterday, though not on purpose. It's weird because since starting back on LC, my appetite has been fine - not ravenous, but I've been eating fine. Now I feel like I might have hit the point that I remember about LCing the last time - when hunger disappears and I have to really get on myself to eat. I know that's not a good thing, though, since I don't want my metabolism to shut down.

I'm also happy, though, that I was able to avoid a binge. I don't feel like it was for artificial reasons, such as when I say to myself " I shouldn't, I want to lose weight, I want to be 'good'", which I think ultimately doesn't have staying power, since we know that avoiding junk food is not about willpower. I'm glad that I was able to avoid it because my body didn't want it and didn't need it. That, to me, shows that I'm starting to develop more of a physiological balance pertaining to food.

Tam