emotional breakdown

This isn't directly related to my current diet but I don't know where else to write about it. I think I had a real emotional breakdown the other day, I just couldn't stop crying over everything. I felt so hearbroken, so angry with myself, so frustrated and so helpless. I just wanted to quit everything and go back to the US and bury myself in the bedsheets and never speak to another person again. The strange thing is... NOTHING was wrong. NOTHING happened. I just freaked all of a sudden. Ok, there are a few things going on that are very frustrating for me and I think it all just came to a head and I couldn't take it anymore. One thing is living in Germany. I came here because I wanted to but learning German has been a huge struggle for me. If I knew it would be this hard, I may not have come here. I can understand a few things and I understand most of the grammar rules and I can read and write some.. but when it comes to understanding the spoken word, I am totally lost. I can't understand ANYONE. It makes me feel like such an outsider... and on top of that, I decided to learn African drumming as a fun hobby (also because my b/f is into it) and of course everyone speaks only German in the lessons I am taking. It sucks. Seriously. I love learning the drumming, though it is hard... but trying to learn something new when you don't understand the language is so hard. I feel like such an idiot, loser, pain in the ass idiot, like I just don't belong here. I've been here for 9 months now and this has been a problem the whole time... I just sort of dealt with it and hoped maybe after another year I would be able to speak and understand it well... but the other day... I just couldn't stand it anymore. I am so angry with myself for not learning faster. Why I am so slow and stupid when it comes to languages? And it's not like I don't try! Anyway, I was a total emotional wreck for about 24 hours... very weird because I couldn't control it and couldn't stop crying.. I don't know what I would have done without my sweet b/f... at least today I feel a little more normal. And down 1 more lb